I was all ready to post a bunch of pics of the beautiful MWM ring I bought for the person I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with, but less than 24 hours before I was planning on proposing began the end of our relationship. I feel the need to vent to the people who helped me for months understand and pick out the perfect ring.
I suppose the seed was planted four years ago when we met and started dating. We are of different religions and from day one, I told her that one of the most important things in life for me was to raise a family (children) the way I was raised. Amazingly, she wasn''t religious and told me that she was okay with that. "As long as the kids are raised with good morals, ethics and something good to believe in." That was the line I was told time and time again, and as our relationship grew and we fell in love with each other, I believed every word of it.
We had pictured growing old together, sharing life''s'' special moments and raising a family together. The four years weren''t easy because I was in law school and we lived 100 miles apart. But, we persevered...so I thought.
Hours before the proposal, we got into a fight, during which she told me she was having second thoughts about raising children "my way." Shocked, I immediately ran over and as we were talking amidst our tears, it became apparent there was this immovable rock standing between us and our lives together. I can''t be mad that she feels this way, I just wish she knew and thought about this a long time ago so we wouldn''t have gotten ourselves in this position. We took the next week to try and work things out. She wanted me to compromise, but I told her you can''t compromise when it comes to religion. I firmly believe that children should be raised with one religion, especially since the two have opposite teachings/viewpoints, etc. We both agreed to end the relationship a few days ago, since we couldn''t overcome this issue. I know it''s "possible" to have a family with parents of different backgrounds, but usually one of the parents is lax and doesn''t care about his religion and the kids are raised with the other parent''s religion. When both spouses care and the religions are different, it presents a huge obstacle that I can''t see a compromise to.
That doesn''t mean we can''t share in both holidays and family events, but only that the kids can''t participate in her religion''s practices and ceremonies. For example, she wanted to have the kids baptized whereas I want to raise them Jewish. I don''t see how you can do that and have it mean something. It''s true that she would have to give that up (and it''s not a little thing), but she knew that from the beginning. All of a sudden, I''m supposed to give that up?
I guess I''m just devastated because it''s not a matter of love or our feelings for each other. We both love and want to spend our lives together. However, it just doesn''t seem possible if we both want to raise our kids with different religions. It''s a terrible situation when two people truly love each other, but now won''t be together. Thanks for listening.
I suppose the seed was planted four years ago when we met and started dating. We are of different religions and from day one, I told her that one of the most important things in life for me was to raise a family (children) the way I was raised. Amazingly, she wasn''t religious and told me that she was okay with that. "As long as the kids are raised with good morals, ethics and something good to believe in." That was the line I was told time and time again, and as our relationship grew and we fell in love with each other, I believed every word of it.
We had pictured growing old together, sharing life''s'' special moments and raising a family together. The four years weren''t easy because I was in law school and we lived 100 miles apart. But, we persevered...so I thought.
Hours before the proposal, we got into a fight, during which she told me she was having second thoughts about raising children "my way." Shocked, I immediately ran over and as we were talking amidst our tears, it became apparent there was this immovable rock standing between us and our lives together. I can''t be mad that she feels this way, I just wish she knew and thought about this a long time ago so we wouldn''t have gotten ourselves in this position. We took the next week to try and work things out. She wanted me to compromise, but I told her you can''t compromise when it comes to religion. I firmly believe that children should be raised with one religion, especially since the two have opposite teachings/viewpoints, etc. We both agreed to end the relationship a few days ago, since we couldn''t overcome this issue. I know it''s "possible" to have a family with parents of different backgrounds, but usually one of the parents is lax and doesn''t care about his religion and the kids are raised with the other parent''s religion. When both spouses care and the religions are different, it presents a huge obstacle that I can''t see a compromise to.
That doesn''t mean we can''t share in both holidays and family events, but only that the kids can''t participate in her religion''s practices and ceremonies. For example, she wanted to have the kids baptized whereas I want to raise them Jewish. I don''t see how you can do that and have it mean something. It''s true that she would have to give that up (and it''s not a little thing), but she knew that from the beginning. All of a sudden, I''m supposed to give that up?
I guess I''m just devastated because it''s not a matter of love or our feelings for each other. We both love and want to spend our lives together. However, it just doesn''t seem possible if we both want to raise our kids with different religions. It''s a terrible situation when two people truly love each other, but now won''t be together. Thanks for listening.