A Sad Story

[MissGotRocks]

It is indeed a sad story. I am sorry for the loss and the cause thereof. I am glad that your daughter came home to a place where she felt safe and secure. That says a lot about your home and relationship. Take care Deb!

 

[AGBF]

Thank you again @rainydaze. And thank you @Slick1. I do not know all the struggles you face, but I know your life is full of challenges that you always strive to meet. You are very generous to me. Thank you for your posting, @Gussie. I really appreciate your prayers.Thank you for your condolences, @Queenie60. I enjoy seeing your puppy avatar. Not only do I thank you for your good wishes, @whitewave, but I am cheered that you are well enough to be reading and writing! Thank you for your sympathies @junebug17. For B, addiction was a struggle that plagued him and his parents, who loved him, for many years. @Musia, thank you for the good wishes towards my family.@Demon, thank you. @yennyfire, I appreciate the gentle hugs and prayers.@VRBeauty, we are on the same page in hoping that there will one day be a cure or at least an effective treatment for mental illnesses that currently disable people.@Dancing Fire, I accept that hug! @MeowMeow, I have no idea what you remember. Lord only knows what horror stories I may have posted over the years.But thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and thank you for the hugs!

Late this morning, when I should have been dressed we got a surprise visit from B's father. Matt was at our house because my husband had given him permission to shower here today . (He had a job interview.) So I was I the house in my nightgown ad Matt and my daughter (and the dog, Hero) were also in the house and B's father showed up on our front porch wearing a paper mask respecting covid19 guidelines.

It was our first contact with him since learning that B had died, so naturally we wanted to say the things about B we would say to his father. But his father had come to ask my daughter to get her messages about B off Facebook and to encourage everyone she knows to do so.

B's father told us that they were trying to keep his relatives, especially his grandmother, in Bolivia from finding out about B's death, saying it would kill them. The police are doing an investigation here and, in the meantime, no newspaper will be printing a story about this.He seems to believe that something was in the heroin, that it was not an overdose.The police are looking for the person who sold it to him.

I am no expert on drugs, but I was also not born yesterday. I think that dealers often put fentanyl (and sometimes other substances) in heroin.I mean, I think buying heroin and thinking it's not going to have some fentanyl as well as who knows what else cut into it to make it cheaper is like buying the store brand bread and thinking that no one will put anything in with the whole wheat flour. Maybe not a great simile.

At any rate, I was glad to be able to talk to B's father. I don't know if he will succeed in keeping this from his family. He was also talking about going back to Bolivia. I do not know if he will continue to want to do this.

 

[Slickk]

Thank you for your kind words @AGBF ! I’m happy to help even if it is just a tiny bit.
I am just heartbroken for B’s father and family. I cannot even imagine the hell they must be going through. Add in the thought that he might have been killed (laced drugs), social media posts going up and hiding it from the family. What a heavy load he bears.
You continue to show compassion allowing Matt to shower in the house. I will be hoping that the interview is fruitful. Keep up the good fight

 

[AGBF]

Sending gentle hugs.

Thank you, Matata.

 

[AGBF]

Aw Deb, i'm so so I am glad your daughter came home because she is sad, she knows home is safe. I think letting her be in the car with her BF is okay, I know a bit more of the story so I understand why your brother has a say in this. Husband is fearful for himself and rightly so.

We do our very best to be parents but then there is life, I can guess what some of your fears are right now and my heart is holding your heart. I am not a sage and what I say has little bearing but I DO know that you MUST take care of Deb... All good things to Deb, the best we can be for our troubled children is to be the best healthy person we can be.. you are brilliant, very well educated and a lovely human being, BUT you must remember that and put Deb first. You are a very special person, I know this.. you must remember that your daughter WAS raised in a caring home and at some point that could really kick in Deb more than ever.. she loves you. I care Deb I really do. kate

Thank you for your posting, @Bayek . Everything you wrote was on target (with the possible exception of some of some of that praise you heaped on me) but you are right, you know many things about me that I do not share publicly. I really value your friendship. Thank you so much for making it so public. You are a wonderful friend and a wonderful woman.

 

[monarch64]

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles, AGBF. I haven't read much about your daughter's relationships so didn't realize all of this was going on. Big hugs to you and kudos for being a wonderful parent to your daughter and her friends.

 

[maita13]

@AGBF, life IS terribly unfair and unjust for so many. It really is heartbreaking to know/read about children who were neglected and abandoned and suffer from those experiences as adults. For what it’s worth, Matt and B experienced something that was profoundly foreign to them, kindness and empathy. Thank you for sharing their story. Tight Hugs to you, Deb

 

[Karl_K]

Prayers continue.
The state of mental health care in the US totally blows.

 

[canuk-gal]

Deb:

SUCH THINGS!!! Such things. How and what you've endured is immeasurable.

Notwithstanding big sadness of late events.

Healing vibes across the miles. If there is anything I can do. Hands open.....................

Kind regards, Sharon xoxo

 

[AGBF]

I got confused as I tried to reply to each of you kind posters in order. I apologize that I have not been able to keep up. Everyone has been so supportive and kind that as I stored away thoughts on what I wanted to say to each of you, I got swept away by the next posting and never seemed to have enough time (because life still goes on here). I have been immensely buoyed by the kindness heaped on me by the community here and I really, really want to thank all of you. I have to thank @missy for that poem. She is one of the people I got out of order while confused yesterday.

Trust me that I have read the contribution that each of you made and thought about it. Some of you gave me advice. I will definitely think about all of it.

Again, thank you very, very much.

Deb

 

[MarionC]

Deb, I am just now seeing this and my heart goes out to you and to your daughter.
The fact that your daughter came to you, and that you love each other is very positive. Long road ahead, but be hopeful. Much love to you both.

 

[AGBF]

Just an update. I came back from grocery shopping and saw a Jeep parked behind Matt's vehicle in front of my house. Neither had been there when I left about an hour earlier. Two men in their thirties who looked as if they could have been friends of Matt were standing talking to him. He came up to the window of my car and said they were tracking down information on B. I didn't know if they were friends who might have information on who was dealing heroin or if they were policemen. It turned out they were detectives.

One came in (wearing a mask) and interviewed Matt, my daughter, and me about B. It turns out that my daughter has been talking to B every day, but didn't say so to the police because she didn't want to do so in front of Matt.

Yelling going on. I have to go.

 

[Calliecake]

@AGBF , This story is heartbreaking Deb. I‘m so sorry and hope things get easier for you soon. It’s a difficult situation all around. Please take care of yourself. Hugs, Callie

 

[redwood66]

I'm sorry you are having these troubles Deb. Prayers for you.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Dear @AGBF
Ive been trying to think of something to say for two days
but i just don't have the words
its all just too sad
I feel bad for everyone including your husband
I hope the situation improves for everyone soon (not that it can for your daughter's ex's family )
But i hope your daughter is ok

you sound like a very good mum

 

[Queenie60]

Sending my prayers

 

[maita13]

Thinking of you, your daughter and rest of the family, Deb...warmest and tightest hugs to you and your daughter

 

[TooPatient]

Deb,

I am so sorry to hear of these very sad events. Everything sounds so horrible. Sending you hugs as I don't know any way to make this better. I wish I did. (I also wish I hadn't had to use those words so frequently! "I'm sorry for your loss" has become something I say more than my heart can take. This is the third time this evening...)

Please take care of yourself and stay safe. I worry about you and your husband and your daughter. Chris seems to have lingering issues from his past so can't be taken lightly when he makes a statement like that. I also worry about how your daughter is holding up. This has got to be difficult on her! Please, don't get so focused on making things better for Chris or even your daughter that you forget to keep yourself safe.

Sending even more hugs. I'll be thinking of you in the coming days and hoping everything is better soon.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Dear @AGBF I am sorry for what you are going through and what you have to deal with.

Please take care of yourself and be careful.

I'm somewhat relieved that you have your dog for protection.

I don't recall, but is it an option to sip at another location, far alway from all this?

Sorry if I'm being naive, you're an extremely intelligent woman and I'm sure you've already thought about all the options, but as much as I'm in awe because you're such a selfless and loving mother, but I'm concerned about your safety.

Hugs and much strength to you!

 

[rainydaze]

Oh dear. Complications on top of heartache. I hope first and foremost that you are able to stay safe as you navigate this with your daughter. And then, I hope you are able to maintain some sanity. I wish you so much peace AGBF, it seems to elude you, who deserve it in spades.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I am so sorry Deb. Everything your family is going through is so difficult. Praying for you all.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I’m really sorry. This sounds like so much heartache and stress to be dealing with. Take care of yourself

 

[Slickk]

Continued strength to you and yours to navigate through difficult situation.