merbear1215
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2010
- Messages
- 70
HI All,
My friends, we will say, Bill and Sue, recently got married.
My husband and I received the invitation to their wedding in the mail, like a standard wedding invitation, stating something like "join us for a casual ceremony followed immediately by dinner." The wedding was to take place at a restaurant on a Tuesday night. I thought that was a little strange but I also understand, times are tough, and you can often get better deals on random days of the week. We did bring some cash anticipating it might not be an open bar, though the invite did not state either way.
We arrived to a nice restaurant (not 5 star, but not McDonald's) with our present. We placed it, with everyone else's gifts on the gift table, clearly meant for gifts.
The menu presented to us was a few specific selections off the full menu, no prices. We ordered drinks and the waitress mentioned how she should split the bill. I didn't think that was too odd considering we expected to pay for drinks. But as people ordered meals, the waitress would ask something like "do you want me to check if it costs more to change the side." Something like that. Now we are getting suspicious. And sure enough, at the end of the night, we are given our bill, and paid for our own dinner.
I was so surprised. I have never experienced anything like this. I know it was a Tuesday, and I know it was casual, but still. It was a ceremony followed by dinner. I mean, this weekend I am attending an open house reception at a country club for a couple who got married in a destination wedding a few months ago. I intend to bring a present, and I hadn't expected to pay.....should I be??
Again, I understand times are tough, but I guess what bothers me is the couple clearly expected gifts (as evidenced by the gift table) and gave NO indication that anything (even alcoholic drinks) would be paid for by the guests, let alone the whole meal. I think I would be a lot less bothered if they had said don't bring a gift OR prices will vary. Anything that gave an indication of what was to come. Honestly, I felt a little duped and confused.
Thoughts?
My friends, we will say, Bill and Sue, recently got married.
My husband and I received the invitation to their wedding in the mail, like a standard wedding invitation, stating something like "join us for a casual ceremony followed immediately by dinner." The wedding was to take place at a restaurant on a Tuesday night. I thought that was a little strange but I also understand, times are tough, and you can often get better deals on random days of the week. We did bring some cash anticipating it might not be an open bar, though the invite did not state either way.
We arrived to a nice restaurant (not 5 star, but not McDonald's) with our present. We placed it, with everyone else's gifts on the gift table, clearly meant for gifts.
The menu presented to us was a few specific selections off the full menu, no prices. We ordered drinks and the waitress mentioned how she should split the bill. I didn't think that was too odd considering we expected to pay for drinks. But as people ordered meals, the waitress would ask something like "do you want me to check if it costs more to change the side." Something like that. Now we are getting suspicious. And sure enough, at the end of the night, we are given our bill, and paid for our own dinner.
I was so surprised. I have never experienced anything like this. I know it was a Tuesday, and I know it was casual, but still. It was a ceremony followed by dinner. I mean, this weekend I am attending an open house reception at a country club for a couple who got married in a destination wedding a few months ago. I intend to bring a present, and I hadn't expected to pay.....should I be??
Again, I understand times are tough, but I guess what bothers me is the couple clearly expected gifts (as evidenced by the gift table) and gave NO indication that anything (even alcoholic drinks) would be paid for by the guests, let alone the whole meal. I think I would be a lot less bothered if they had said don't bring a gift OR prices will vary. Anything that gave an indication of what was to come. Honestly, I felt a little duped and confused.
Thoughts?
I think the appropriate thing would have been to invite everyone to a dessert or cocktail reception (whatever their budget could allow) and clearly state that on the reception invitation. The invitation can be as formal or informal as the couple wants and still convey to the guests what will be served. Also, don't have the reception at a meal time like noon or 6 pm. Either have it at 2 pm if you're serving cake and punch/champagne or have it later in the evening if you're having a cocktail party. A meal is not required to celebrate the marriage, and I think guests should be fine with that as long as they are not caught off guard.
300x240.png)