A kid question

[kenny]

One of my guitar students, now 14, finally got a smartphone.

During his last lesson it rang, he answered, and talked to his friend while I waited.
He was arranging time for his friend to come over later.
Then he checked it 3 times over the lesson.

I didn't say anything.

Should I say something at the next lesson?
If so, what should I say?
I want to say, turn it off during lessons.

Is that okay or has the world changed ........ rather the world of 14 yr olds?
Should I ask his parents first?
Did I blow it by not speaking up immediately?

I'm clueless because I don't have a smartphone and am an old geezer.
FWIW, yes his parents are paying for my time.

 

[Snowdrop13]

My kid, same age, would be expected to turn it off during ANY lesson, be it school or otherwise. We pay for music lessons too and I'd be horrified if he behaved this way.

There are vast differences in the way parents approach this, though, could you check with them without making it a big issue?

Good luck!

 

[redwood66]

I think asking for him to turn it off next time would be perfectly fine. His parents are paying for the time, not him, and its disruptive. In fact if my kid didn't turn it off beforehand on his own, I would be upset at the kid and expect you to tell him.

Good luck with this.

 

[jordyonbass]

Speak to the people paying for your time; I'd say something like '_____ tends to use and check his phone a lot during the lesson, I just wanted to let you know as we may not be as productive as we could be but if you would prefer him to be using it during the lesson then that is up to you'.

It is their dollars to spend (or waste) as they wish.

 

[msop04]

Speak to the people paying for your time; I'd say something like '_____ tends to use and check his phone a lot during the lesson, I just wanted to let you know as we may not be as productive as we could be but if you would prefer him to be using it during the lesson then that is up to you'.

It is their dollars to spend (or waste) as they wish.

This.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I would make it YOUR personal policy as a teacher, and tell the student to turn off his phone during lessons.

My kids are 14 and 12. Their school policy does not allow them to use their phones on during the school day. If they are caught using their phone during class, the teacher has the right to confiscate the phone until the end of class.

As for private music lessons, my son takes piano, and my daughter takes drum lessons. Neither of them are allowed to check their phones during the lesson (even if it's me me texting them to tell them I'm running late etc). I know not to expect a response until AFTER the lesson.

 

[momhappy]

Most schools have cell phone policies (that include not using phones during class time). I think that it's perfectly reasonable for you to have the same sorts of rules that any other learning environment might have. I wouldn't worry about asking the parents first, I would just let your student(s) know that you have a no cell phone policy during instruction time. As a parent, that wouldn't offend me and I would actually appreciate the professionalism.

 

[december-fire]

One of my guitar students, now 14, finally got a smartphone.

During his last lesson it rang, he answered, and talked to his friend while I waited.
He was arranging time for his friend to come over later.
Then he checked it 3 times over the lesson.

I didn't say anything.

Should I say something at the next lesson?
If so, what should I say?
I want to say, turn it off during lessons.

Is that okay or has the world changed ........ rather the world of 14 yr olds?
Should I ask his parents first?
Did I blow it by not speaking up immediately?

I'm clueless because I don't have a smartphone and am an old geezer.
FWIW, yes his parents are paying for my time.

Kenny,

This is too simple.
You want to say 'turn it off'.
Then say 'turn it off'.
I wouldn't discuss it with the parents or ponder this for more than 1/2 a second.
Next session should start with 'By the way, please make sure your phone is off during the lesson.'

Next question!

 

[december-fire]

Forgot to add, that if your student can't resist checking his phone during the lesson, you could offer to set it aside until the lesson is over. Might I suggest it be safely set aside in your fish tank while you proceed with the lesson.

 

[kenny]

Forgot to add, that if your student can't resist checking his phone during the lesson, you could offer to set it aside until the lesson is over. Might I suggest it be safely set aside in your fish tank while you proceed with the lesson.

IN the aquarium?
Oh, you're terrible (that's why I like you).

Seriously, thanks to everyone for the advice.
I was overthinking this ... we liberals want to be ... seeeeennnnnsiiiiitive!

 

[azstonie]

Band director and private music instructor here:

YES, you set the rules for your studio.

I have a cell to vibrate policy for the students who are under 18---their parents should be able to reach them at any time. For my college students, its cell phones off, period.

 

[kenny]

In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Make it a policy that there is no phone usage during lessons. This is really a matter of manners but teenagers tend to be very self centered and don't realize sometimes their actions are inconsiderate.

I think it's great that you give lessons with a parent present, that puts you and the parent at ease and just eliminates a whole possible host of problems. Super smart on your part.

 

[tyty333]

Tell him next time he looks at his phone you are going to swap your pay-per-minute not-so-smart phone for his smart phone.
That should get his attention !

 

[redwood66]

In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.

So the parent was present and did not say anything when the kid used the phone? Or maybe they were out of the room but in the house. Still though.

And I am sorry that it has to be that way for anyone regarding the falsely accused thing.

 

[jordyonbass]

In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.

If his parents are present then that makes it a little more tricky, I'd approach it with humor but with a point. I'd say something like 'I didn’t know those new phones show you how to play the chords I'm teaching you?!'

 

[kenny]

So the parent was present and did not say anything when the kid used the phone? Or maybe they were out of the room but in the house. Still though.

And I am sorry that it has to be that way for anyone regarding the falsely accused thing.

Yea, mom was in an adjacent room.
I'm sure she did not know.
I'm also sure, had she seen, she would have told him to turn it off during lessons.

She's an excellent mother, and her kids are also excellent!
We are very good friends, almost like brother and sister.

 

[kenny]

I'd say something like 'I didn’t know those new phones show you how to play the chords I'm teaching you?!'

 

[iLander]

When you start the lesson, during that shuffle of bringing guitar in, sitting down, settling in, just say "How are you today? blah, blah, blah. Okay, cell phones off and let's begin."

Kids are so used to hearing it, he'll just automatically turn it off.

Done.

When I have to say things that may be difficult, I sandwich it between pleasantries. Usually, the last thing that is said is what people actually remember. For example, with my kids "After you go study, we'll have dinner at 6." They're studying before they even know what happened.

Sandwiches. They're the key to life, Kenny.

 

[Karl_K]

Tell him it is disrespectful to use it during your time so he has to shut it off or put it in another room.

 

[redwood66]

So the parent was present and did not say anything when the kid used the phone? Or maybe they were out of the room but in the house. Still though.

And I am sorry that it has to be that way for anyone regarding the falsely accused thing.

Yea, mom was in an adjacent room.
I'm sure she did not know.
I'm also sure, had she seen, she would have told him to turn it off during lessons.

She's an excellent mother, and her kids are also excellent!
We are very good friends, almost like brother and sister.

This changes things because we did not know this. So yep definitely what iLander said is best because you have a good relationship with the family. It should be no big deal.

 

[Bonfire]

Tell him it is disrespectful to use it during your time so he has to shut it off or put it in another room.

You'll be teaching him an important lesson on phone etiquette, respect and time management. You have every right to dictate the rules during your sessions. I'm sure his parents would agree.

 

[azstonie]

In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.

Then no phone. He's either fully present for the instruction or he's not.