Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

A kid question

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,175
One of my guitar students, now 14, finally got a smartphone.

During his last lesson it rang, he answered, and talked to his friend while I waited.
He was arranging time for his friend to come over later.
Then he checked it 3 times over the lesson.

I didn't say anything.

Should I say something at the next lesson?
If so, what should I say?
I want to say, turn it off during lessons.

Is that okay or has the world changed ........ rather the world of 14 yr olds?
Should I ask his parents first?
Did I blow it by not speaking up immediately?

I'm clueless because I don't have a smartphone and am an old geezer.
FWIW, yes his parents are paying for my time.
 

Snowdrop13

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 27, 2011
Messages
1,863
My kid, same age, would be expected to turn it off during ANY lesson, be it school or otherwise. We pay for music lessons too and I'd be horrified if he behaved this way.

There are vast differences in the way parents approach this, though, could you check with them without making it a big issue?

Good luck!
 

redwood66

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
7,008
I think asking for him to turn it off next time would be perfectly fine. His parents are paying for the time, not him, and its disruptive. In fact if my kid didn't turn it off beforehand on his own, I would be upset at the kid and expect you to tell him.

Good luck with this.
 

jordyonbass

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Dec 6, 2014
Messages
1,809
Speak to the people paying for your time; I'd say something like '_____ tends to use and check his phone a lot during the lesson, I just wanted to let you know as we may not be as productive as we could be but if you would prefer him to be using it during the lesson then that is up to you'.

It is their dollars to spend (or waste) as they wish.
 

msop04

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 3, 2011
Messages
9,776
jordyonbass|1470084940|4061414 said:
Speak to the people paying for your time; I'd say something like '_____ tends to use and check his phone a lot during the lesson, I just wanted to let you know as we may not be as productive as we could be but if you would prefer him to be using it during the lesson then that is up to you'.

It is their dollars to spend (or waste) as they wish.
This.
 

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
3,139
I would make it YOUR personal policy as a teacher, and tell the student to turn off his phone during lessons.

My kids are 14 and 12. Their school policy does not allow them to use their phones on during the school day. If they are caught using their phone during class, the teacher has the right to confiscate the phone until the end of class.

As for private music lessons, my son takes piano, and my daughter takes drum lessons. Neither of them are allowed to check their phones during the lesson (even if it's me me texting them to tell them I'm running late etc). I know not to expect a response until AFTER the lesson.
 

momhappy

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 3, 2013
Messages
4,660
Most schools have cell phone policies (that include not using phones during class time). I think that it's perfectly reasonable for you to have the same sorts of rules that any other learning environment might have. I wouldn't worry about asking the parents first, I would just let your student(s) know that you have a no cell phone policy during instruction time. As a parent, that wouldn't offend me and I would actually appreciate the professionalism.
 

december-fire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
2,346
kenny|1470083099|4061402 said:
One of my guitar students, now 14, finally got a smartphone.

During his last lesson it rang, he answered, and talked to his friend while I waited.
He was arranging time for his friend to come over later.
Then he checked it 3 times over the lesson.

I didn't say anything.

Should I say something at the next lesson?
If so, what should I say?
I want to say, turn it off during lessons.

Is that okay or has the world changed ........ rather the world of 14 yr olds?
Should I ask his parents first?
Did I blow it by not speaking up immediately?

I'm clueless because I don't have a smartphone and am an old geezer.
FWIW, yes his parents are paying for my time.
Kenny,

This is too simple.
You want to say 'turn it off'.
Then say 'turn it off'.
I wouldn't discuss it with the parents or ponder this for more than 1/2 a second.
Next session should start with 'By the way, please make sure your phone is off during the lesson.'

Next question!
 

december-fire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
2,346
Forgot to add, that if your student can't resist checking his phone during the lesson, you could offer to set it aside until the lesson is over. Might I suggest it be safely set aside in your fish tank while you proceed with the lesson.
:D
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,175
december-fire|1470089699|4061442 said:
Forgot to add, that if your student can't resist checking his phone during the lesson, you could offer to set it aside until the lesson is over. Might I suggest it be safely set aside in your fish tank while you proceed with the lesson.
:D
IN the aquarium? :o
Oh, you're terrible (that's why I like you).

Seriously, thanks to everyone for the advice.
I was overthinking this ... we liberals want to be ... seeeeennnnnsiiiiitive! :lol:
 

azstonie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 1, 2014
Messages
3,758
Band director and private music instructor here:

YES, you set the rules for your studio.

I have a cell to vibrate policy for the students who are under 18---their parents should be able to reach them at any time. For my college students, its cell phones off, period.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,175
In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
5,928
Make it a policy that there is no phone usage during lessons. This is really a matter of manners but teenagers tend to be very self centered and don't realize sometimes their actions are inconsiderate.

I think it's great that you give lessons with a parent present, that puts you and the parent at ease and just eliminates a whole possible host of problems. Super smart on your part.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
21,670
Tell him next time he looks at his phone you are going to swap your pay-per-minute not-so-smart phone for his smart phone.
That should get his attention :lol: !
 

redwood66

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
7,008
kenny|1470093647|4061474 said:
In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.
So the parent was present and did not say anything when the kid used the phone? Or maybe they were out of the room but in the house. Still though.

And I am sorry that it has to be that way for anyone regarding the falsely accused thing.
 

jordyonbass

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Dec 6, 2014
Messages
1,809
kenny|1470093647|4061474 said:
In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.
If his parents are present then that makes it a little more tricky, I'd approach it with humor but with a point. I'd say something like 'I didn’t know those new phones show you how to play the chords I'm teaching you?!'
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,175
redwood66|1470103479|4061521 said:
So the parent was present and did not say anything when the kid used the phone? Or maybe they were out of the room but in the house. Still though.

And I am sorry that it has to be that way for anyone regarding the falsely accused thing.
Yea, mom was in an adjacent room.
I'm sure she did not know.
I'm also sure, had she seen, she would have told him to turn it off during lessons.

She's an excellent mother, and her kids are also excellent!
We are very good friends, almost like brother and sister.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,175
jordyonbass|1470104796|4061526 said:
I'd say something like 'I didn’t know those new phones show you how to play the chords I'm teaching you?!'
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 

iLander

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
6,731
When you start the lesson, during that shuffle of bringing guitar in, sitting down, settling in, just say "How are you today? blah, blah, blah. Okay, cell phones off and let's begin."

Kids are so used to hearing it, he'll just automatically turn it off.

Done.

When I have to say things that may be difficult, I sandwich it between pleasantries. Usually, the last thing that is said is what people actually remember. For example, with my kids "After you go study, we'll have dinner at 6." They're studying before they even know what happened. :lol:

Sandwiches. They're the key to life, Kenny. :sun:
 

Karl_K

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
9,469
Tell him it is disrespectful to use it during your time so he has to shut it off or put it in another room.
 

redwood66

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 22, 2012
Messages
7,008
kenny|1470107348|4061539 said:
redwood66|1470103479|4061521 said:
So the parent was present and did not say anything when the kid used the phone? Or maybe they were out of the room but in the house. Still though.

And I am sorry that it has to be that way for anyone regarding the falsely accused thing.
Yea, mom was in an adjacent room.
I'm sure she did not know.
I'm also sure, had she seen, she would have told him to turn it off during lessons.

She's an excellent mother, and her kids are also excellent!
We are very good friends, almost like brother and sister.
This changes things because we did not know this. So yep definitely what iLander said is best because you have a good relationship with the family. It should be no big deal.

;))
 

Bonfire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
3,180
Karl_K|1470145991|4061619 said:
Tell him it is disrespectful to use it during your time so he has to shut it off or put it in another room.
You'll be teaching him an important lesson on phone etiquette, respect and time management. You have every right to dictate the rules during your sessions. I'm sure his parents would agree.
 

azstonie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 1, 2014
Messages
3,758
kenny|1470093647|4061474 said:
In this case the kid is a neighbor and I teach him in his home ONLY when a parent is present.

So many adults, gay or straight, have had their lives ruined by being falsely accused of something inappropriate.

When his mom asked me to teach him, I made a parent being present a condition.
Then no phone. He's either fully present for the instruction or he's not.
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Vintage OEC Bracelet
    Vintage OEC Bracelet
    June’s Birthstone Trinity
    June’s Birthstone Trinity

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top