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A "good cry"??

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Gypsy

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I''m pondering this phrase.

I certainly have felt relieved after crying sometimes. Pent up emotions... outlet, all of that. But I don''t find reading heartwarming but sad stories (Molly and Me, Bride to Tarabithia, etc.) to be satisfying and if I know that something is gonna make me cry, I just avoid it.

I don''t think I''ve always been that way. I remember the first (and only) time I saw Beaches I BAWLED my eyes out, and it was a really lovely feeling and my mom and I bonded over it. But... in the last few years (5, 7... 9?) years, I haven''t felt that way at all.

But I have noticed a change in my personality too. I''ve developed an ''avoidance'' response to stress triggers and I bottle things up more and more. I wonder if maybe getting a good cry in on occassion, might actually be a GOOD thing.

Thoughts?
 

KimberlyH

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I tend towards being more emotional, but I keep it to myself. I may cry over something silly and random, but when I truly cry out of sadness, which doesn''t happen very often at all, I do feel a bit better afterwards. Because I don''t like to talk about things that bother me crying seems to let me get my feelings out and then I can move on.
 

musey

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Well I have no philosophical ponderings to contribute, but I personally REALLY enjoy a good cry. When I''m alone. Over fiction. I don''t know if it''s cathartic or what, but it just feels so good. I cry almost every day.
 

Italiahaircolor

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I love a good cry. For me, they are theraputic, it breaks up my feelings more so than talking.

My last good cry was a couple of nights before we were leaving for my husband parents to spend the holidays part 2. I find going there to be really stressful, and I get panic attacks in the weeks leading up to go...so crying it out actually feels like a weight is lifted for me. Nothing imparticular triggered my tears, but I just felt like a rush of stinging behind my eyes...and BAM, I was in tears. I find that when I''m crying I actually let myself feel more, and I open up easily ... like purging.
 

CNOS128

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Every once in awhile (especially Sunday nights, for some reason), I love a good cry in front of the TV. I''m no longer allowed to watch the shows that used to make me cry, because it freaks out my fiance who can''t stand to see me cry. He obviously doesn''t get the point of the cathartic cry (in fact, he doesn''t even cry when really bad things happen to him, whereas I cry over basically everything).

There''s definitely some element of a release of tension for me. I''ve cried after big interviews or meetings, when I get home and just let go. Always feels better afterward.

But there are times when I do avoid shows/movies/books that will make me cry (not just to spare my fiance). Often if I''m already feeling depressed, the last thing I want is to start crying; I want to do something that cheers me up! Part of it may be the fear that if I start, I don''t know when I''ll stop. That kind of crying doesn''t make me feel better; it makes me more sad.
 

joflier

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I'm just not a very emotional person. I'm almost a bit stoic. I feel things, but just not in extremes. And I don't express emotions much. But there are times when I'm alone that I get a little emotional, and once in a while, I just run with it and cry for a few minutes. Afterwards, I do really feel a lot better.

ETA - Although for some reason - Greys Anatomy and Extreme Home Makeover always get me teary. But I try to fight that. I always feel so dumb crying over a TV show!
 

Porridge

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I''m in the slightly non-emotional camp. SOMETIMES I enjoy a good cry. But now that you say it I usually do tend to avoid books/film that I know will make me cry.
 

isaku5

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I had not felt moved to cry for years as I had built a wall so high around my emotional self that I looked at everything and everyone in the most analytical way.

I used to be the family ''weeper'' at all sad events and movies so most of the people I know/knew were somewhat surprised at the change. Too bad. Tough for them. I''m the one ruling how I react.

All of that changed over the two year ''reno from hell''. I tried my best to maintain my analytical outlook, but hubby''s behaviour completely took me off guard. If there was a question to be answered regarding the construction phase, the tradesperson would talk only to hubby and ignore me. I got extremely annoyed by this and asked to be in on any and all conversations having to do with OUR finances. What happened before my eyes was that hubby sided with every tradesperson even in matters involving decorating. When the two of us had talked about a decorating issue and agreed on a course of action, he''d change sides in an instant and dismiss me completely.

Of course, he denied that it happened that way blah, blah, blah, but I have a fairly accurate memory of details so naturally took offense. Finally, I had had enough and broke down at dinner one evening. These were not just tears rolling down my cheek, but rather more like heart-rending, never ending sobs.

To say that the reno was never completed is somewhat irrelevant, but I now know which way the wind blows regarding such matters and will never attempt another project with this guy.
 

fleur-de-lis

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Maybe you''re a little more afraid now of what might come out once "the Wall of Jericho" comes down?



P.S. "(5, 7... 9?) years"? Gee, I''m not a psychologist (Heh, but don''t we all play one from time to time over the internet?
), but since the other thread is still fresh, isn''t that about the same timeline as you undertook your, err, current profession?
 

CNOS128

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Date: 4/20/2009 3:49:33 PM
Author: joflier
ETA - Although for some reason - Greys Anatomy and Extreme Home Makeover always get me teary. But I try to fight that. I always feel so dumb crying over a TV show!
Those are the two shows that came immediately to mind when I was thinking about Gypsy''s question!
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition always made me cry because of the great stories of families who triumphed over adversity. And I can remember an episode of Gray''s Anatomy where there was an older couple that had been married for, like, 50 years, and the wife was dying but the husband wasn''t ready to let her go... heart-wrenching!

I also cry a lot over both happy and sad animals stories - like the Christian the Lion video, or whenever someone''s beloved pet dies...
 

ChinaCat

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Hmm. I am a big advocate of the "good cry". Sometimes you just need to get it out. A good movie, or even the right music. I remember when I was going through a bad break-up and I would drive up and down PCH and blast an old Dixie Chicks CD that was all about lost love. I would just sing and cry and cry. And I would feel so much better. Weirdly, I sort of have fond memories of it.

Reminds me of a Everybody Loves Raymond episode I saw once. Raymond had offered to take the kids for the day and came back early or something and peeked through the window, curious as to what his wife did with herself with alone time. She was bawling. He freaked out, was worried something was really wrong. At the end of the episode, he finally asked her why she was so upset. She said, Oh, I just put on the theme music from Ice Castles cause I felt like a good cry. He was like, women are CRAZY, you mean you make yourself cry on purpose???? LOL. Yep!

Funnily enough, I am not really a big crier, or very emotional generally, especially about something that is going on in my own life. But silly things like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition get me every time. Of course, now that I am preggo, I can cry more easily. Perfect example, I BAWLED at Bride Wars. Yep, silly movie with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway. I was crying so hard that I had to calm myself down before I left the theatre cause I was so embarrassed. But I felt GREAT afterwards.

Gypsy, I think you need to take that pottery class and cry a little!!!
It will do wonders for your stress level.
 

E B

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I've read that it's actually very healthy to cry. Apparently, crying releases toxins from the body, much like sweating.

I'm a big crier, and I find it feels good to let it out when needed. I cry pretty regularly, whether it's over something small and silly or something big that's been building. My last good cry was this morning! I come from a weepy family, though...we don't hold it in.

China- You aren't alone! I sobbed through March of the Penguins in the theater, surrounded by people. Through the ENTIRE movie. I was embarrassed for the first few minutes, but I couldn't help it and let my body do its thing. I still can't get 10 minutes in without serious waterworks, and I haven't even tried to watch it pregnant. No way.
 

bee*

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I''m not a very emotional person either and usually I hate crying but there have been times when I''ve needed a cry and it did feel good. I don''t think that I''ve cried reading any book before. It''s usually if I think about something bad happening Amber or if someone p*sses me off.
 

LadyBlue

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I''m easy to cry, sometimes i wish I could hold it, but i can not
 

ChinaCat

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Ebree- Haven''t seen March of the Penguins, but I want to. Note to self to hold OFF until after pregnancy! I mean, Bride Wars, really? Though I also cried at Mama Mia.
And I wasn''t pregnant.
 

E B

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Date: 4/20/2009 4:33:23 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Ebree- Haven't seen March of the Penguins, but I want to. Note to self to hold OFF until after pregnancy! I mean, Bride Wars, really? Though I also cried at Mama Mia.
And I wasn't pregnant.
I tried to watch Wall-E toward the end of the first trimester and couldn't get through the first twenty minutes. I was weeping. DH had to watch the rest of it alone.

If you watch March of the Penguins, make sure you have boxes of Kleenex nearby. It's a tearjerker. Well, it was for me, anyway.
 

joflier

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Date: 4/20/2009 4:01:38 PM
Author: TheBigT


Those are the two shows that came immediately to mind when I was thinking about Gypsy''s question!
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition always made me cry because of the great stories of families who triumphed over adversity. And I can remember an episode of Gray''s Anatomy where there was an older couple that had been married for, like, 50 years, and the wife was dying but the husband wasn''t ready to let her go... heart-wrenching!
That one was deserving of tears. Me? Miss unemotional brick wall? I just have to see Derek and Meredith just freaking look at each other and my eyes are starting to water. The show resembles my life a bit too closely at times, I think.
 

allycat0303

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I do not want to see anything even vaguely sad, heartwarming etc. I haven''t since I got into medical school. If someone dies in the movie, I think of people dying in real life. I am pretty much limited to silly comedies, or movies that are superhero-violent-totally not believeable (i.e X-men), because any other genre makes me unbearably sad.

Lately, I cry a lot over people achieving things lately. Especially underdog, no one thinks you are worth anything, but *surprise you are*. I don''t know, I guess I keep hoping it happens to me. But it''s not catharic, I just feel horrible after.
 

Kaleigh

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I had one today, watched the Secret Life of Bees. I wasn''t sobbing, just had tears running down my cheeks... Not sure if that''s a good cry. But that movie really resonated with me.
 

Sabine

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I''m all for a good cry, but I don''t have them from things like books, movies, tv shows, etc. I only tend to have them when I''ve been feeling stressed and overwhelmed for a time and finally hit a breaking point and let it all out.
 

elrohwen

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I don''t mind crying over movies or sad stories on tv, but I find that crying about stressful things in life (like having a bad day at work, etc) just makes me feel worse. I definitely don''t feel a sense of relief. If anything, I feel best when I tell FI or someone else about my stress, but keep it brief and try to laugh a little at how stupid it is, then move on. Crying makes me dwell on things more I think.
 

MustangGal

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DH and I are both on the stoic side (I''ve NEVER seen him cry), but on occasion I do have a break down and feel a little better afterwords. The last one was last month when my 2 month old baby was having a colic moment and screamed for 45 minutes straight. I cried along with him and felt the better for it when he stopped.

I made it though my entire pregnany only crying once, when DH got laid off...
 

meresal

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A "good" cry over a movie or a book is good, but not really one that helps me release emotions. I've realized that I bottle things up and when the final one gets me, that is when I have a "good cry". It actaully lifts everything off my mind and heart.

ETA: I'm extremely emotional. I tear up at Hallmark commercials and it took me 2 days to finish the last chapter of The Notebook ...
 

White Orchid

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I hate to cry, but I cry over the silliest things... like commercials! I''m a huge Star Trek fan, or at least I was back in the day. But lately I cry through the shows like a baby! Weirdest thing!
 

LtlFirecracker

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I don''t like seeing sad movies or reading sad stories either. My work can give me plenty of gloom depending on what I am doing. I don''t feel the need to add more. And I have never been much of a crier over movies, or even a sad situation at work, just not my personality I guess.

However, I do fell like I understand that phrase. Just last week I cried and feel like I got a lot of emotions out. I have a lot going on. I am in a difficult situation with my female co workers, I turn 30 tomorrow, I have no idea how far apart me any my BF will be living from each other, or how long, and him being laid off has put my hopes of an engagement soon on hold. All this stuff has been building for weeks, and after having a bit of a break down, I have been doing a lot better. I am still stressed about things, but just more level headed. I think that having that emotional release helps me be rational again and try to approach each problem logically.
 

MonkeyPie

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I cry at sad movies a LOT. I watched Marley and Me a couple nights ago and the tears just ran. My husband always teases me about it, he thinks it''s funny because stuff like that doesn''t get to him, so he doesn''t get it. I actually don''t like it when I cry at a movie - it makes me feel silly, so that kind of crying isn''t a good release.

Though, I don''t like to cry for any reason. I especially hate crying when I get angry, which happened THREE TIMES in the last year at my previous job. And all three times were in front of my bosses. I was so mad at myself for letting them see that, because they didn''t deserve to see my tears!
 

AmberGretchen

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I really dislike crying, actually. I don''t judge those who do, but for me, I only do it when I''m very upset. I don''t cry at movies, or over books, or anything like that. As I''ve gotten older, though, if anything, I''ve gotten more emotional, which is not something I''m a fan of
 

mia1181

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Interesting thread...

I have ALWAYS felt that something is wrong with me emotionally because I do not cry about big things but sometimes I cry over small things. I hate going to funerals because I feel this enormous pressure to cry but I just don''t do it. I have never been a big movie crier, but when I do cry in a movie it''s not the typical movies that make people cry. I think the first movie that made me cry was Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson, not exactly a classic. As I get older I feel myself getting teary-eyed more often though.

I do know that sense of relief from a "good cry," although I only did it once before in my life. Poor DH was so freaked out when it happened because all of a sudden I just started wailing and I had no reason, it wasn''t stress related. IT just felt kinda good. He kept asking why I was crying and I just kept saying I didn''t know. It''s funny because the other day I was contemplating crying for some reason.

Oh, Dane Cook does a monologue on once in a while deciding to have good cry. "I did my best." He talks about how you look at yourself in the mirror when you cry, I''ve definitely done that before!
 

elrohwen

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Date: 4/20/2009 9:37:11 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I cry at sad movies a LOT. I watched Marley and Me a couple nights ago and the tears just ran. My husband always teases me about it, he thinks it''s funny because stuff like that doesn''t get to him, so he doesn''t get it. I actually don''t like it when I cry at a movie - it makes me feel silly, so that kind of crying isn''t a good release.

Though, I don''t like to cry for any reason. I especially hate crying when I get angry, which happened THREE TIMES in the last year at my previous job. And all three times were in front of my bosses. I was so mad at myself for letting them see that, because they didn''t deserve to see my tears!
Ugh, I *hate* this. When I get really mad and feel frustrated and like things are totally out of my control, I tend to cry. It pisses me off so much when I''ve done it in front of my boss ... I also hate that they put me in a position to anger me so much about things. If my bosses were a little more rational and trustworthy, I wouldn''t be put in those positions.
 

Kelli

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I SO WISH I wasn''t an emotional person. Most of the problems I''ve ever had were a result of my emotions. It''s really annoying.
And the worst thing is, I don''t cry so much from being sad, but when I get ANGRY, my body''s first natural reaction is to cry. And I absolutely cannot control it. Not even a little bit, and I''ve never been able to. So naturally I enjoy a good cry to get it out of my system, but ONLY when I''m alone. I hate crying in front of people, it''s so embarrassing.

As far as reading books and watching movies to make me cry on purpose? HECK NO! If it''s for my own entertainment, I''d rather laugh than cry thank you very much!
 
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