A gentle reminder to lock your doors....

[Kaleigh]

I just found out from my next door neighbor that the new neighbor ran to the store and left her back door open. She was gone for only a half hour. But leaving the back door open is a big no no. She is devastated and feels awful. Her parents are dead and her mom''s wedding set was taken along with many other sentimental items.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Yes, unfortunately it only takes a minute for something to happen while your back is turned. Some burglars and thieves wait for this type of opportunity. I guess it was a hard lesson learned and I hope her items are recovered, especially the sentimental items. I''ve always said that I don''t care about losing anything I own as much as I care about the sentimental items (most of which are really worth nothing in a thieves eyes).

 

[bookworm21]

Date: 12/14/2005 2:06:35 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
So sorry for your neighbors... I hope they get justice...

I ALWAYS lock my door. Even when I''m home. It''s annoying to my fiance because he has to use his key everytime he comes over. The reason why I do that is because I''m a single female in my twenties living alone, next to some low-income housing complexes that look like an episode of ''cops'' visits once a week. My apartment complex is the nicest one on the block, it just has a really crappy location, which makes the rent really low.

I had more reason to lock my door about a year ago when someone came to my door asking to use a phone. I didn''t even know someone was there. All I know is my dog was barking like crazy. I looked out of the peephole, but it was nighttime and my porch light had blown that day, so I didn''t see anyone. I opened the door thinking that the dog just wanted to go out to potty, and there he was... I am a nice person though, so I closed the door behind me as a I got him a cell phone (that I was about to have shut off in a couple of days anyway). Hindsight is 20/20 and I realize I should''ve locked my door as I got the phone, because when I came out of my bedroom back to the front door, he was standing in my kitchen!! I have a very expensive plasma t.v. and surround sound system as well as a nice computer system in my apartment and he was eyeballing all my electronics. I immediately handed him the cell phone and went back into my room to grab my pepper spray/mace/u.v.-dye spray. When he was done he started asking me questions. I tried not to look scared at all because I thought that would be a sign of weakness and he could take that as a signal to attack. He was asking questions like ''is this a one-bedroom apartment?'' ''How old are you?'' ''Do you have a boyfriend?'' ''Do you live alone?'' I was terrified, but I told him that I don''t live alone and that I live with my boyfriend. He looked at a picture of me and a big friend of mine and asked if that was him. I said yes (even though I lived alone and my fiance is just a little guy) and asked him ''are we done here?'' as I kinda showed him the spray in my hand. Once he saw it he said ''yeah, I''d better go'' and I said ''yeah, I think you should'' as he left. I immediately got on the phone with the sheriff''s dept and was freaking out (but I was calm enough to remember a complete description of him down to the tattoos on his arm). They drove through my complex every night for the next week per my request. I didn''t file a complaint because I didn''t know what his intentions really were. I didn''t know if he just didn''t know any better than what he did or what. If I filed a complaint and he didn''t have bad intentions, it would create animosity. If I didn''t and he had bad intentions, I would be screwed. But the sheriff''s dept was worried about his questions and so was I. For the next month, my neighbors kept and eye on me and they said he would walk around my apartment, smoking cigarettes and hanging out, until they would stare him down and then he would leave. Finally he never came around again (according to my neighbors) and I feel better, but I still lock my door 24/7.

Sorry for the long story.......... I felt I had to explain my paranoia.

That''s so scary! I''m glad you have neighbors who care enough to watch out for you, that helps a lot. Can''t say the same for my neighbors though. We''re the youngest couple on the entire block, and sometimes, we can just feel the resentment from them.

The British law reminds me of an incident I heard before about a burglar who fell through a roof and landed on some kitchen knives. The owners had left the knives out, with the points facing up, and he landed on that. He sued the owners and won. The judge, or jury, said that it was irresponsible of the owners to leave knives out like that!

These dumb laws...

 

[MINE!!]

OMG aphisiglovessae that''s scary... I am glad that you are alright.

 

[Mara]

aphis....why would you even offer to help the guy?? I am all for assistance when required aka if someone is on the porch bleeding, but hello just wanted to use the phone? Pay phone at the corner buddy, here's 35 cents. That may sound mean, but as a female living alone, you have to be smart! I don't even open the door when I am alone typically unless I am expecting someone or it's the postman or similar who I know...etc.

About 5 years ago, when I lived in an apartment complex with a girlfriend, I had a 'stalker'...he was fairly passive, left notes on my car about me and things like 'one day we'll be walking barefoot on the beach together', but the creepy thing was that I would come home and run inside for 5 minutes and when I got back there'd be a note, so it was like he watched my spot or something. I made a police report and made sure to stand out there when we did it so that if he was watching, he'd see. When I moved out, I made sure that NO activity was near the parking lot for moving so that he would never have a clue if he just watched my parking spot that I was moving. I was so freaked out he would follow me to the new place! I was pissed off too that I was put in that position where I had to be freaked out about my situation and surroundings. If he ever would have approached me, I probably would have punched him out for being an assclown!

 

[Momoftwo]

I live in Virginia and the laws about someone breaking into your home (from what I''ve heard) are pretty much on the resident''s side. The joke is, if someone comes onto your property and you shoot them, you should drag them inside and then it''s justified.

My general rule is, if I''m alone I do not answer or open the front door to anyone unless I know them or with the exception of deliveries and only if I''m expecting it or it''s the mail man or UPS man (or other delivery service) and I can see their truck. If someone really needs assistance you can talk to them through the door and make a call for them. It''s not about being paranoid, but being safe. The news frequently has stories of people murdered at their front doors by unknown intruders.

 

[Dancing Fire]

happen to us 10 yrs ago... i came home one evening with my 2 daughters (my wife was at work) they were 7 and 8 yrs old at the time as soon as i open the front door 2 burglars push in from behind and pointed a gun to my head, after they tie us up and blind folded me,they ask my daughters where i kept all my valuable items and where do i keep my guns,so my older daughter show them,they got away with my wife's original 2.29ct e-ring + my 1.47ct ring i had on my finger + about 1 K in cash i had in my pocket + lots of jewelry that my wife inherited from her mom + lots of valuable U.S. coins.after all this they threaten to kill my daughters if i don't show them where the rest of the valuables are hidden.even today,after all these yrs i still regret that i didn't get a chance to blow their F**King head off.

 

[perry]

strmrdr:

You are still comparing apples to oranges on safes:

Yes, Both Brouwning and Fort Knox safes are UL rated. But to what rating? Neither company will tell you up front in their literature. So if you are looking for real security - how can you compare? Just reading their product descriptions tell me that they do not make any safe that has a rating for anything but the door. What a waste. Only amatures attack the door if the sides are unrated.


Concerning fire ratings (all ratings to limit time to 350 F for inside of safe)

Browning:

1550° F for 30 minutes fire rating (on higher end safes)
1200°F for 30 minutes on the standard fire security safes.


Fort Knox:

1680º in 90 min (Higher end safes)

1450º for 50 min (Lower end safes)



Niether of these ratings comply with the UL standards for 1 Hr, 2 Hr, etc safes. (although I a curious why the high end Fort Knox safes are not UL rated for 1 Hour- unless something gives in that last 20 F. The other possibility is that their test is not as rigourous as the UL test, which requires the safe to still work after the test (so you can open it to get to your stuff). Since both Browning and Fort Knox are using independent labs with their own test (not a standardized test) - who knows what you are actually getting.


UL Standards

1 Hr 1700° F for 60 min

2 Hr 1850° F for 120 min


I will note for completeness that the average house fire is about 1200° F

Here is a simple link on fire rating of safes: www.amsecusa.com/ul_fire_class.htm

In the end I stand by my statement: Gun safes are great for guns. If you want a safe that is meant for valuables - get a real safe from a company that sells safes to businesses. Get one with a 6 sided rating, and a UL fire rating. The reason they cost so much more - is because they are so much more. Kinda like a 1 carat M I2 diamond is a lot different than a 1 carat G VS2.

Concerning you comment about how easy it is to defeat many home safes: How true. One reason I tell people to buy a new business security/fire safe. Most older safes (even name brand older safes) are not that secure or that fire resistant (their are few exceptions; but your chance of finding one of those is rare).

Oh, and yes their are safes that will stand up to plasma torches (and even thermite lances) for at least 1 hour. Get a 60 TLTR x6 safe. Just for extra protection - get the explosive proof option too...

Perry

 

[perry]

Fire & Ice said:

Well, knowing the code - it is indeed not code to have those types of deadbolts. It is not, however, illegal.
I would not recommend a lever or knob exit if you have side windows or glass pane door - as does most doors. They are too easy to get into.

I cannot speak to the specifics in your state: However, in most states the "code" is the law, and not following the code is clearly illegal. The building codes were developed based on safety issues - and every line of the code can be traced to an even that casued death or massive destruction.

Based on your comments about what the inspector said I would actually guess that to be the case where you are. Only the inspector caved in. That will not protect you if there is a need for emergency egress.

Should their be a fire of other emergency the chance of you actually being able to open the door when you are panic fleeing is very slight unless the key is already in it (and perhaps not even then - there are recorded cases of similar situations). Should another get hurt - or die - expect a wrongfull death lawsuit (and perhaps ever arrest).

Your second comment presents the delema that people want all kinds of glass in places that detract from security - or are not willing to spend the kind of money it would take to put in real security glass. Sorry, you can''t have it both ways. Security done right cost money. Sacrificing on safety may work in the short term - but may kill you, your family, and your freinds in the end.

Perry

 

[perry]

To all:

Intruders in the house; stange people asking questions, stalking, home security, f e a r....

I know much of what you describe. I survived an attempt on my life, and was then stalked for 3+ years by a guy who sat in the police station and told them for hours that he was going to kill me (there was nothing illegal about making threats). To this day I do not know what happened to this guy - and if he will return someday.

My house is far from secure; In the end you have to learn to face your fears on the "what if" questions. Should I die today - I have lived a good life. In the end, that is all I can ask. As I get free money I will upgrade things. I have Thremal Gard windows in half the house, I need about $10,000 to finish the house. Doors are next.

I have tried to be open to you on what things really are our there; and I know that some of you are more than concerned about how easy I have presented it to be (and in many cases it is). One of my hobbies as a kid was locks. I got into electronics to defeat alarm systems, and as a early teenager I was a burgler. Yet, we can chage and I did. Going honest was one of the hardest things I did as a teenager after I got into "to much" trouble. But, the change was worth it.

I hope you all look to your security and work to improve it. The randome things none of us can control. Being perfect with security is not really possible either - as we run out the door to take the garbage out. ONly if there is a specific threat (like I was under for years) do you really need to worry about such things. But, some basic home security often can be improved. Talk to your locksmith about your door hardware - go with commercial grade hardware in most cases. Windows; I''ve nothing good to say about most windows and alarm systems. Over 90% of windows can easily be defeated. I honestly think that the locks are more for show than to actually lock the window (if you only knew how easy it was to defeat most window locks...). I will admit that their are some other good windows out there - but why spend the time looking when Thermal Gard exist. You won''t get a better home window from a security and energy efficiency and durability standpoint anwhere else for that price.

Best of luck to all. And please be secure.

Perry

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 12/14/2005 11:09:08 PM
Author: perry

Fire & Ice said:

Well, knowing the code - it is indeed not code to have those types of deadbolts. It is not, however, illegal.

I would not recommend a lever or knob exit if you have side windows or glass pane door - as does most doors. They are too easy to get into.

I cannot speak to the specifics in your state: However, in most states the ''code'' is the law, and not following the code is clearly illegal. The building codes were developed based on safety issues - and every line of the code can be traced to an even that casued death or massive destruction.

Based on your comments about what the inspector said I would actually guess that to be the case where you are. Only the inspector caved in. That will not protect you if there is a need for emergency egress.

Should their be a fire of other emergency the chance of you actually being able to open the door when you are panic fleeing is very slight unless the key is already in it (and perhaps not even then - there are recorded cases of similar situations). Should another get hurt - or die - expect a wrongfull death lawsuit (and perhaps ever arrest).

Your second comment presents the delema that people want all kinds of glass in places that detract from security - or are not willing to spend the kind of money it would take to put in real security glass. Sorry, you can''t have it both ways. Security done right cost money. Sacrificing on safety may work in the short term - but may kill you, your family, and your freinds in the end.

Perry

Perry you are simply incorrect. The building code is just that - a code by which decisions are made. It''s interpretable - especially in houses. The ACD act is law. The code by which it is enforced can be interpreted. I deal with it every day.

Building inspectors don''t "cave". They hear an argument for your "case" and make a final decision based on compromise.

Most people install the deadbolts after the fact. Please don''t scare people into not having them because of fear of being sued. I''m more concerned about being aphixiated several times while being raped then left for dead after a serial killer has some fun with your for an hour or two. I, however, have no problem with being able to get out in case of fire. People have plans.

 

[Mara]

Worried about not being able to get out with fancy locks and doors being too hard to open? Just make sure to use the BASEBALL BAT on them first so you have an extra minute or two to turn the locks.

Perry said:
"Being perfect with security is not really possible either - as we run out the door to take the garbage out. ONly if there is a specific threat (like I was under for years) do you really need to worry about such things."

Yes no one is perfect. However, if you leave your house open at any moment when you are not right next to the door and able to see someone sneaking in, then you should still be cautious. How do you know there is a specific threat until maybe they are already hiding in your house waiting for your husband to leave? Many of these people who get robbed or raped or murdered were oblivious to the fact that someone was watching them or that there WAS a threat. But they still should be cautious. Case in point that woman who was just burglarized on K''s street...went to the store, left her door open. Let me just say that I cannot even imagine leaving the house and leaving the door open OR being IN the house and leaving the door open. That just seems silly!

I was appalled when I realized we were doing that very thing previously, leaving our house open to someone who knows our habits who could slip in the garage door and hide in one of our many closets. At least making that effort to turn the lock and take a key with you, you won''t ensure that you are 1000% safe from someone who can quickly pick a lock BUT at least by making the effort to be smart, you are not giving an open invitation.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 12/15/2005 12:27:26 PM
Author: Mara
Many of these people who get robbed or raped or murdered were oblivious to the fact that someone was watching them or that there WAS a threat.

The police said that the killer did know the habits of the women he killed. He watched them. He knew one women left her window opened at night. He knew that one women would run out short term without locking the door. He knew one women took the bus & her husband traveled on certain days. Not one of the women knew they were being watched - EVEN AFTER THE FIRST COUPLE OF MURDERS.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 12/14/2005 5:45:54 PM
Author: Mara
aphis....why would you even offer to help the guy?? I am all for assistance when required aka if someone is on the porch bleeding, but hello just wanted to use the phone? Pay phone at the corner buddy, here's 35 cents. That may sound mean, but as a female living alone, you have to be smart! I don't even open the door when I am alone typically unless I am expecting someone or it's the postman or similar who I know...etc.

The thing was I didn't even know he was there until I opened the door and if I told him I didn't have a phone for him to use (there isn't a pay phone for at least a mile down a VERY busy highway and I never have cash on my person to give him), then that would be a perfect opportunity to barge in and attack me. I can't believe you would say that to me because you have no clue what you would do unless you are actually in the situation. I could sit here all day saying I would never do this or I would definitely do that, but your mind is different when faced with the actual situation. Like I said "hindsight is 20/20" and there's nothing anyone can do about what has already happened except learn from it. I feel I handled the situation very well because I was still able to protect myself in case anything should happen. I can't lock myself away like a little hermit and never open the door unless they pass maximum security clearance. You gotta live a little! There's nothing wrong with helping the guy, I just should've locked the door as I went to get the phone. That's all. Unlike a lot of people in this world, I haven't lost ALL faith in humanity and I believe that there are some genuinely good people out there. I can't treat everyone like a criminal.

Remember when there was a time where NO ONE locked their doors? Some people still don't becuse the're from that era. My fiance's parents live just outside Reading, PA where there's crimes out the yin-yang, and they still don't lock their doors. It's really sad that it's not safe to do that anymore and that no one can trust one another. What is this world coming to?

 

[widget]

Author: aphisiglovessae
.....you have no clue what you would do unless you are actually in the situation. I could sit here all day saying I would never do this or I would definitely do that, but your mind is different when faced with the actual situation......

This is SO TRUE!! The wildest story I ever heard was an adventure my mother had. She had just returned from the market, and was going upstairs to her room when she noticed a gloved hand slowly closing my bedroom door!!!

(I was away at college). She immediately marched into my room confronted the stranger and told him to get the hell out of her house...then she turned and ran down the stairs and out of the house. She stood there in front of the house, feeling like a fool and soon this guy comes walking down the driveway and then away down the street!

My mother was a shy, softspoken, rather timid little woman not over 105 lbs...NO ONE (especially her) would have expected her to react like that! She did eventually feel terrorized, but only later in sort of a delayed reaction.

Adrenaline is a wondrous thing...

widget

 

[fire&ice]

Widget - your mother was smart to turn tail and run.

When our house was burglarized, I waited outside until the police came. I always heard that they could still be in the house - and if you surprise them your life is most in peril. The police arrived and asked me if I had disturbed anything inside. I said that I hadn''t been in. He looked surprised & I told him that''s what I always heard. He said, "yeah we tell everyone that - but no one seems to listen - most people want to see what was stolen". I thought - strange - my life is more valuable than any crap stolen in my house. Though, I did make sure my dogs were o.k. & I locked them in my car.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 12/14/2005 1:48:41 PM
Author: widget
I''ve got two harmless but noisy dogs, but my kids want me to get another scary looking one...like my beloved Spencer who''s been gone for a couple of years now. In a way he''s still protective...

Just don''t get an idiot like mine who bites everyone he doesn''t know well who comes onto the front porch . One wants protection, but NOT lawsuits!

Deb

 

[aphisiglovessae]

My little dog is really just an alarm system. He''ll bark at anybody that isn''t me, my fiance or my parents. If confronted by anyone or anything else he just runs away and then barks behind your back. ha ha.

 

[Mara]

Date: 12/15/2005 1:48:04 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae

Date: 12/14/2005 5:45:54 PM
Author: Mara
aphis....why would you even offer to help the guy?? I am all for assistance when required aka if someone is on the porch bleeding, but hello just wanted to use the phone? Pay phone at the corner buddy, here's 35 cents. That may sound mean, but as a female living alone, you have to be smart! I don't even open the door when I am alone typically unless I am expecting someone or it's the postman or similar who I know...etc.

The thing was I didn't even know he was there until I opened the door and if I told him I didn't have a phone for him to use (there isn't a pay phone for at least a mile down a VERY busy highway and I never have cash on my person to give him), then that would be a perfect opportunity to barge in and attack me. I can't believe you would say that to me because you have no clue what you would do unless you are actually in the situation. I could sit here all day saying I would never do this or I would definitely do that, but your mind is different when faced with the actual situation. Like I said 'hindsight is 20/20' and there's nothing anyone can do about what has already happened except learn from it. I feel I handled the situation very well because I was still able to protect myself in case anything should happen. I can't lock myself away like a little hermit and never open the door unless they pass maximum security clearance. You gotta live a little! There's nothing wrong with helping the guy, I just should've locked the door as I went to get the phone. That's all. Unlike a lot of people in this world, I haven't lost ALL faith in humanity and I believe that there are some genuinely good people out there. I can't treat everyone like a criminal.

Remember when there was a time where NO ONE locked their doors? Some people still don't becuse the're from that era. My fiance's parents live just outside Reading, PA where there's crimes out the yin-yang, and they still don't lock their doors. It's really sad that it's not safe to do that anymore and that no one can trust one another. What is this world coming to?

woah girl calm down...I just asked why you would help him, because I was genuinely surprised. I would have said sorry we don't have a phone and shut the door. Especially if you have a dog right there. Then again I feel like I can protect myself if someone were to confront me. I also don't typically open the door without looking outside first, esp if the dog is barking, to me that's an alert (because she doesn't bark to be let out, she comes and paws me on the leg). But that's just me. I try to be overly safe. I don't think that anyone has to be a HERMIT, but people should just be smart and I think alot of people (in general) are not smart about safety. Forget installing the big heavy duty locks, just actually LOCKING the door is the first step!

I think that part of how I am is how I was raised. To be cautious. My Mom was alone for the first 9 years of my life and she was very cautious. She never would have left her doors unlocked! Even if she lived in the country with no one around. That's just not how she is..and I am the same way. And yes, I am sorry to say that I don't have faith in alot of people out there, watching the news and/or one of the many shows on TV totally kills that nowadays unfortunately.

 

[fire&ice]

I saw a show on staying safe on Oprah. One of the primary reasons why women get targeted is because we were raised to help and be polite. Sad, but I don''t give strangers the benefit of the doubt, especially if they were to come on my property.

 

[Kaleigh]

True F&I. I bought a nice baseball bat today!!!

 

[perry]

Fire & Ice:

As I said. I cannot speak to the specific legalities in your state. However, in many states the building code (or certain sectionss) is considered law.

I have no problems with deadbolt locks. I encourage them. HOwever, having a deadbolt lock that can only be actuated with a key from the inside is a safety hazzard - which is why building codes ban them in residential houses.

The kind with knob that people can turn are completely legal - and do not need a key for people to get out.

Perry

 

[perry]

Update on Safes:

To clarify: What do you want the safe to do?

If all you want is to stop a smash and grab robber (who blows through your place in a minute or two taking what is handy) - any safe will do.

If you want the safe to stop someone who feels that they have more time - and who is specifically interested in getting into a safe - They will get into most cheap or old safes; usually in less than 10 minutes if they are carrying the right tools with the safe fully locked (but 20-30 minutes with other tools) and less than 2 hours with no tools for most safes by anyone with a minimal amount of training (manipulation of the dial lock - yes it can be done - by feel, but not as quick as on TV or with the technique they show on TV; for a poor or worn lock and with someone that is really good - 10 minutes or less for them to manipulate the lock).

If you want to safe to protect your documents and items from fire - get a fire safe (key lock common). A UL rated 1 hour safe should cover all normal situations (and allow the safe door to be opened after the fire). A UL rated 2 hour safe is kinda over the top - but I feel is well worth it.

If you want your safe to be very difficult for someone to break into with portable tools like they would likely carry into your house:

Get a TL-15 x6 safe (you need the 6 sides, what good is the front door if they can get through the side in 5 - 10 minutes with fairly simple things). Note that TL-15 takes 15 minutes with industrial tools that are not likely to be carried into your house by a burgler - and it would likely take them more than 15 minutes (much more) to get into the safe.

If you want the safe to be harder to open by manipulation - get a class IIM (2M) lock (the M is manipulation resistant - it will now take about 4 - 6 hours for someone who is really good to manipulate the lock; the people who are not really good will typically need 24+ hours with an automatic dialer that tries all the combinations - and usually wears the lock substaintially; which can then be replaced if a safe company opened your safe using an automatic dialer). Or get an electronic lock (see discussion below).

If you want a safe that cannot be easily cut open with a torch - get a TR rated safe (dual rated with TL as TRTL-15 or 30,60).

If you have a lot of expensive jewelry and am worried about a burgler setting up shop; I suggest that you consider getting a small modern jewelry store type safe with a UL fire rating of at least 1 hour. You may also get an explosive proof feature as part of these safes (or as an option: Glass plate relockers is one common option).

Here is a link to a common availabe jewlery safe with rating of TL 15 & TL-30: Note how heavy they are compared to a gun safe.

www.deansafe.com/devault.html


Just want a good gun safe... This company claims that they are the only Tool Resitant gun safe on the market (TL-30). Compare their construction and weight. Note that they also do not meet UL 350 F fire ratings.

www.deansafe.com/amsec/tl-15tl-30.html


Here is an example of TRTL-30 UL Fire Rating (tools and torch resistant for 30 minutes on all 6 sides, protected from fire and the safe can be opened after the fire).

www.securitysafeusa.com/jewelry_ism.htm


Their are lots of options out their; but all safes that offer real protection from someone who is interested in getting into the safe are much heavier than most gun safes.

Perhaps you do not want such security; and their are many lessor secure safes out their to chose from. I figured that you should see what pretty good safes really looked like.

Concerning dial versus electronic locks. Electronic locks have advantages. So do dials. In a retail situation, or where you are constantly opening the safe on a routine basis - I think the advantages of an electronic lock outweighs a dial (and electronic locks can have burgler alarm capabilities that are important for many businesses).

However, for home use where the safe is opened less frequently I think the dial wins. One advantage of the dial is that it can still be opened if you forget the combination at a reasonable charge (as long as you stay with at type 2 or 2M dial). It is quite posible to put electronic locks and even special dials on the safe that realistically cannot be reaonably opened if you forget the combination (It may be cheaper to cut the safe open).

Best of luck with all of this. Get whatever safe you want.

Perry

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 12/15/2005 5:26:28 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 12/15/2005 1:48:04 PM

Author: aphisiglovessae

Date: 12/14/2005 5:45:54 PM

Author: Mara

aphis....why would you even offer to help the guy?? I am all for assistance when required aka if someone is on the porch bleeding, but hello just wanted to use the phone? Pay phone at the corner buddy, here's 35 cents. That may sound mean, but as a female living alone, you have to be smart! I don't even open the door when I am alone typically unless I am expecting someone or it's the postman or similar who I know...etc.

The thing was I didn't even know he was there until I opened the door and if I told him I didn't have a phone for him to use (there isn't a pay phone for at least a mile down a VERY busy highway and I never have cash on my person to give him), then that would be a perfect opportunity to barge in and attack me. I can't believe you would say that to me because you have no clue what you would do unless you are actually in the situation. I could sit here all day saying I would never do this or I would definitely do that, but your mind is different when faced with the actual situation. Like I said 'hindsight is 20/20' and there's nothing anyone can do about what has already happened except learn from it. I feel I handled the situation very well because I was still able to protect myself in case anything should happen. I can't lock myself away like a little hermit and never open the door unless they pass maximum security clearance. You gotta live a little! There's nothing wrong with helping the guy, I just should've locked the door as I went to get the phone. That's all. Unlike a lot of people in this world, I haven't lost ALL faith in humanity and I believe that there are some genuinely good people out there. I can't treat everyone like a criminal.


Remember when there was a time where NO ONE locked their doors? Some people still don't becuse the're from that era. My fiance's parents live just outside Reading, PA where there's crimes out the yin-yang, and they still don't lock their doors. It's really sad that it's not safe to do that anymore and that no one can trust one another. What is this world coming to?

woah girl calm down...I just asked why you would help him, because I was genuinely surprised. I would have said sorry we don't have a phone and shut the door. Especially if you have a dog right there. Then again I feel like I can protect myself if someone were to confront me. I also don't typically open the door without looking outside first, esp if the dog is barking, to me that's an alert (because she doesn't bark to be let out, she comes and paws me on the leg). But that's just me. I try to be overly safe. I don't think that anyone has to be a HERMIT, but people should just be smart and I think alot of people (in general) are not smart about safety. Forget installing the big heavy duty locks, just actually LOCKING the door is the first step!

I think that part of how I am is how I was raised. To be cautious. My Mom was alone for the first 9 years of my life and she was very cautious. She never would have left her doors unlocked! Even if she lived in the country with no one around. That's just not how she is..and I am the same way. And yes, I am sorry to say that I don't have faith in alot of people out there, watching the news and/or one of the many shows on TV totally kills that nowadays unfortunately.

I'm not upset, I'm just shocked because it seemed that you were implying that I don't play smart. Like I said in my post, my door is always locked, the porch light was blown and no offense to African Americans, but an African American man with no shirt on in the night isn't very visible in my little peephole with no light (I did look before opening the door. Did you not read my post thoroughly?). My dog barks when he needs to do his business so that's what I thought he wanted. My apartment is kind of tucked away way in the back of a street and I rarely get visitors (except my fiance who has a key) so it's usually no big deal to hear my dog bark because it's usually to go potty (he's so tiny and has a little bitty bladder). Like I said, regardless of what anyone else may think, I believe I handled everything pretty well considering the situation and the environmental factors, and rather then dwell on what I should have or could have done (like a lot of people tend to do when things go wrong) I thank my lucky stars that nothing happened. And like I said, I helped him because of two reasons:

1) I feel that everyone should help one another sometimes because some people really do need it and if I needed help, I hope that someone would do me the same favor. Yes there are some shady people in this world but if you are to ever have that warm feeling in your heart because you really helped someone, you need to take a little bit of a risk and help people. You just need to know how to protect yourself in the event that you do try to help a shady character.

2) I'm not a large person and I'm definitely not as strong as I used to be in high school. I took up body building back then because I was attacked at age 13. And it was by a friend from school! I guess you could've called him my boyfriend if anyone thinks a 13 year old is old enough to have a boyfriend. Anyway, it wasn't some stranger that just showed up at my door! I didn't have any intentions when I took up the hobby (I really just started for fun), but subconsciously I became obsessed and I believe it was because of my past (I quit my second year of college). So just saying that I don't have a phone and closing the door could make an attacker strike because it shows that I have no contact with the outside world to call for help. I totally didn't expect him to just walk in! Like I said, hind sight is 20/20 and I know I should have locked the door in the meantime, but a person's mind is not what they expect when they are in certain situations.

Anyway, sorry about my ramblings, it's late. I just wanted to let you know I'm not upset or anything, just trying to help you understand me a little better.