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A bit of a sad Holiday

MrsWhitney

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2012
Messages
287
I am not sure this is the right place, but I am in ICU, without friends near (I am normally a California and New Yorker). I cannot seem to see the joy in the Holiday? My favourite one, at that.

I thought I would beat cancer. I really did. And maybe there will be a miracle....but right now, I have a bed sore, a broken heart as I sell off jewelry for a Christmas with my loved ones.

I am 30. I know that I am lucky. People pass much younger. But those of you who knew me as a UCLABelle and the MrsWhitney, know I have been around a decade off and on.

Has anyone else had a similar outcome? How do you cope? I feel that what once was my favourite time of year, is now...its over.

With my medical copays, experimental medications....I just, want to crawl up and cry. Any similar stories is appreciated (hopefully with good endings?).......

I close my eyes, and dream of my family all together----and that seems impractical.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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51,895
Oh Dani, I am so sorry and I just want to be here to support you however I can. I will be making a donation to cancer research and would like to know if there a favorite organization you have that I can make that donation to?

You have an amazing attitude and that will get you through plus the support of your loving husband and family.

My friend's mother beat the odds and is alive and well today enjoying life. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in the 1990s. At a very late stage too. I think it was stage 4 but not sure as it was over 20 years ago. Anyway long story short she is still alive and well today and doing great! And this was late stage ovarian cancer over 20 years ago before the treatments of today that are better. So there is always hope and yes I know of many stories similar to this one where someone had cancer, late stage and beat the odds.

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping for a miracle for you. (((HUGS))).
 

MrsWhitney

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2012
Messages
287
missy|1448196771|3952738 said:
Oh Dani, I am so sorry and I just want to be here to support you however I can. I will be making a donation to cancer research and would like to know if there a favorite organization you have that I can make that donation to?

You have an amazing attitude and that will get you through plus the support of your loving husband and family.

My friend's mother beat the odds and is alive and well today enjoying life. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in the 1990s. At a very late stage too. I think it was stage 4 but not sure as it was over 20 years ago. Anyway long story short she is still alive and well today and doing great! And this was late stage ovarian cancer over 20 years ago before the treatments of today that are better. So there is always hope and yes I know of many stories similar to this one where someone had cancer, late stage and beat the odds.

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping for a miracle for you. (((HUGS))).

THANK YOU SO MUCH... This made my husband. I am donating myself to the American Cancer Society- it is the best one :) I think :)
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
51,895
Thank you Dani. Mailing our donation today. (((Hugs))) sweetheart.
 

VRBeauty

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Apr 2, 2006
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Please consider asking the admins to move this thread to " hangout." I know it's health-related, but I'm sure there are a lot of PS'ers that don't normally visit this forum who would like to wish you well and even just - well - virtually hang out with you during you hospital stay. :))
 

mousey

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 9, 2009
Messages
430
MrsWhitney, I do remember you as UCLAbelle, although I mainly lurk (then and now). Just wanted to say I am thinking of you today, and will say a memorare for you.

I also know of success stories - A friend's mother recently in remission from bone cancer, my lovely step father who beat bowel cancer. The lady with bone cancer went through a really rough time of it - very invasive, sickening treatments. But she came out the other end fighting strong to see the birth of her first grandson.

30 is so young to have this, and my heart cries for you, but there are so many people who have beat cancer. In future years you might look back on this holiday as turning point, and it could become a really positive memory for you.

My thoughts are with you!
 

Bella_mezzo

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 19, 2009
Messages
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Dani, I am so sorry that you are going through this!

One of my friends is a mother of 4 little boys. She is in her 30s. She was pregnant with her 4th baby when diagnosed with an advanced rare and untreatable brain cancer. She was told she had months left and there was absolutely no hope.

Well, another team of Drs disagreed and said there is always hope. They built a special groundbreaking device to shield her baby, designed an experimental treatment, and after months of difficult treatment, the early but healthy delivery of her baby, and months more of medical treatment and prayers, she is in a really great place.

It has been more than two years, she is now leading a normal life, her cancer has been contained as much as possible (the inoperable spots are still there, but have not grown in more than a year), she is back to pretty much regular life and enjoying being a SAHM to her 4 little ones. Her long-term prognosis is very good.

There is always hope!

That is my prayer for you this Thanksgiving, that you will have hope and that it will be a light even in the darkest time.
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I've been so focused on my younger brother's recent death that I've forgotten the good parts of his story.

He was supposed to have died 43 years ago. When he was a teenager, he found a lump behind his right ear. My mother was an RN so she took him to the best surgeon she knew at the hospital where she worked. They did some evaluations, and she was told that the cancer at that site was end-point cancer, that it would be very dangerous to remove because of its location, and they did not want to proceed with any sort of surgery.

Fortunately we lived in the San Francisco Bay Area* at the time, so my mother took my him to Stanford Hospital for a second opinion. At the Children's hospital, there was a team of doctors who were testing treatment protocols for young leukemia and lymphoma patients. My brother was admitted into that program. They did extensive surgery, removing not just the tumor near his brain but also tumors in other lymph notes, as well as his spleen - I remember a picture that was taken when he had glued a zipper pull to the top of a row of stitches that ran from his sternum to below his belly button! They also gave him massive doses of both chemotherapy and radiation. He was sick as a dog much of that year. But he survived and finished both the treatment and his junior year in high school.

My brother made the most of the time he was given. He had a successful behind-the-scenes career in television, where he also met and married my wonderful SIL. They lived in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York, traveled to foreign countries, skied, scuba dived, made friends all over the place. When the lingering effects of the cancer treatment forced an early retirement, he started a successful internet/phone sales business in a niche market that he helped create. He was active in his church and a statewide gun rights organization (what can I say? He believed strongly in both.) The most important thing though is that he was a great husband and son and brother and uncle.

The cancer did eventually come back, and we lost him a few months ago. But he got 43 years of time that he was told he wasn't supposed to have.
 

LLJsmom

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MrsWhitney, I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult trial. I so admire your courage and strength, your efforts to keep making steps forward even when it seems impossible. A very good friend, who has been healthy and active her whole life, in her mid-40s suddenly had a stroke, which left parts of her left side paralyzed. As she was going through recovery, she found out her DH had been unfaithful for most of their 15 year marriage. After getting through most of her recovery on her own she proceeded with divorce proceedings and then started getting blinding headaches. Turns out she was having mini-strokes, even though she was mobile and active again. She is now permanently on drugs to prevent "the next big one" which the doctors say can happen at any time. She is my role model because she pushed through with living her life and still trying to make things better. She still runs and is active, met a great guy, is a mom to two boys and has a positive attitude every morning of each new day. She sees each day as a gift. I try to remember that too.

You are strong, fighting and moving forward, spending time with your family and prioritizing, stripping down life to its most essential things. I will be praying for you and your husband. I will have hope for you when it's too hard for you to have it for yourself.
 

Bella_mezzo

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Hi there MrsWhitney-I was thinking of you and just wanted to stop by and say Happy Thanksgiving!
 

TooPatient

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Sep 1, 2009
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Sending you hugs. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. There is ALWAYS hope.
 

Gem Queen

Brilliant_Rock
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Mar 26, 2008
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I'm sorry you're not well. If you were in SoCal, I would come see you. I wish there was something I could do or say, or even just come and hold your hand.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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Hi Dani, I just wanted to stop by and say hi and let you know I am thinking of you and sending you good thoughts and healing vibes and gentle (((hugs))). I hope things are going smoothly for you and that you are doing better and feeling well.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Dani, you are still in my thoughts and I am praying you are doing well. Many PSers are sending you bucket loads of ***DUST*** and keeping good thoughts and wishes for you. (((Hugs))).
 

Smores84

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
197
Hi Dani,

I'm still thinking of you and sending love and hugs your way.
 

westjenn

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 3, 2006
Messages
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Dani, how are you doing? I haven't seen an update from you in a while and wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you!
 

partgypsy

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Thank you for posting and letting us know how you are doing. Please post as much as you like, happy sad, good or indifferent. I hope you got your wish and are able to spend time with your family over the holidays.
As far as prognosis, I have known people who have beat cancer, and known those who have gone before their time. This has taught me that each day is precious and to take what you can from each day. Peace and strength.
 
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