6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!!

[Circe]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Ohhhh, I am so on the fence with this one....In England it's seen as a faux-pas to upgrade. Totally unromantic and materialistic, etc etc. And an upgrade isn't an engagement ring, I feel - only the ring you got engaged with can be that.

On the other hand...if a couple can't afford a really good ring when young, but they have the funds 10-20 years down the line, then it's a good way of not having to splurge when young and impoverished, knowing you can get something when it's more financially appropriate.

I also think it depends on the original e-ring. The woman in the article clearly loves hers and it's a very decent size. In England 1.25 carats is huge. So it's not as if she got a 0.30 ctw and never really liked it.

Although I think it's somewhat unromantic, I admit that I'd love to upgrade mine. If the hubster suddenly said, "You know what Smith, you moved to another continent for little ole' me, you cook and clean and I do sod-all, and I'm also quite the pain to live with on occasion. You really deserve an upgrade. How's about a 2ct D eyeclean SI2 Signature-cut rock, then?" I would be out that door to the shops so fast that I'd forget my shoes, and bugger romance.

However, I had no hand in choosing my ring and although I'm lucky to have a Hearts on Fire and I really appreciate the cut, it's not really what I would have chosen. I like it fine, but I'm not in LOVE with it. It's too small and I don't like the colour. I could have had something super-ideal but non-HoF that was bigger with a higher colour for less money. Therefore I probably would upgrade given half the chance, even though it is possibly more romantic to be in love with the first one. But that just isn't realistic in many cases, where the guy a) chooses it all alone b) has different ideas from the girl about the ring or c) just doesn't have the funds. If your original e-ring is truly your dream ring then you're very lucky - but for many, it isn't. Whoever started the upgrade business in the US must have been hugely savvy...

See, here's where my record screeches to a halt, every time. You know that "5 Love Languages" thing? That actually made a whole lot of sense to me. I was talking about childhoods with a friend, and mentioned the fact that my folks, being undemonstrative, hadn't hugged me, well, at all, really, between 6 and 16, and she was HORRIFIED. Her family is way touchy-feely. And she associates sex with love on a 1:1 ratio ... whereas I see the two as being pretty far apart. They CAN overlap: they just don't have to.

But, to get back to the point ... eventually we got back to the fact that for me, love manifests materially. It's how I was raised. I KNOW somebody loves me when they take care of me when I'm sick. Or when they want me to have A Thing on hand that will always and forever make me think of them fondly. I think between the two, it's a difference of degree, and not kind - like, you know that saying about how "it's the thought that counts?" Never made any sense to me. I always figured if that was true, you'd THINK hard enough to get it RIGHT.

And when it comes to symbolic rings ... I figure that's an evolving process. Love isn't (or shouldn't be) static: why would that be true of its representation?

P.S. - I thought your post was GREAT and on-the-money: it just spurred a stream-of-consciousness set of associations. Since it's the second time this week I've blurted massively in response to one of your comments, I figured I should clarify that it came from a place of appreciation and not argumentation!

 

[missy]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Ohhhh, I am so on the fence with this one....In England it's seen as a faux-pas to upgrade. Totally unromantic and materialistic, etc etc. And an upgrade isn't an engagement ring, I feel - only the ring you got engaged with can be that.

On the other hand...if a couple can't afford a really good ring when young, but they have the funds 10-20 years down the line, then it's a good way of not having to splurge when young and impoverished, knowing you can get something when it's more financially appropriate.

I also think it depends on the original e-ring. The woman in the article clearly loves hers and it's a very decent size. In England 1.25 carats is huge. So it's not as if she got a 0.30 ctw and never really liked it.

Although I think it's somewhat unromantic, I admit that I'd love to upgrade mine. If the hubster suddenly said, "You know what Smith, you moved to another continent for little ole' me, you cook and clean and I do sod-all, and I'm also quite the pain to live with on occasion. You really deserve an upgrade. How's about a 2ct D eyeclean SI2 Signature-cut rock, then?" I would be out that door to the shops so fast that I'd forget my shoes, and bugger romance.

However, I had no hand in choosing my ring and although I'm lucky to have a Hearts on Fire and I really appreciate the cut, it's not really what I would have chosen. I like it fine, but I'm not in LOVE with it. It's too small and I don't like the colour. I could have had something super-ideal but non-HoF that was bigger with a higher colour for less money. Therefore I probably would upgrade given half the chance, even though it is possibly more romantic to be in love with the first one. But that just isn't realistic in many cases, where the guy a) chooses it all alone b) has different ideas from the girl about the ring or c) just doesn't have the funds. If your original e-ring is truly your dream ring then you're very lucky - but for many, it isn't. Whoever started the upgrade business in the US must have been hugely savvy...

See, here's where my record screeches to a halt, every time. You know that "5 Love Languages" thing? That actually made a whole lot of sense to me. I was talking about childhoods with a friend, and mentioned the fact that my folks, being undemonstrative, hadn't hugged me, well, at all, really, between 6 and 16, and she was HORRIFIED. Her family is way touchy-feely. And she associates sex with love on a 1:1 ratio ... whereas I see the two as being pretty far apart. They CAN overlap: they just don't have to.

But, to get back to the point ... eventually we got back to the fact that for me, love manifests materially. It's how I was raised. I KNOW somebody loves me when they take care of me when I'm sick. Or when they want me to have A Thing on hand that will always and forever make me think of them fondly. I think between the two, it's a difference of degree, and not kind - like, you know that saying about how "it's the thought that counts?" Never made any sense to me. I always figured if that was true, you'd THINK hard enough to get it RIGHT.

And when it comes to symbolic rings ... I figure that's an evolving process. Love isn't (or shouldn't be) static: why would that be true of its representation?

P.S. - I thought your post was GREAT and on-the-money: it just spurred a stream-of-consciousness set of associations. Since it's the second time this week I've blurted massively in response to one of your comments, I figured I should clarify that it came from a place of appreciation and not argumentation!

A big fat yes to this one Circe. I totally agree. When you love someone you want to take care of them and make them happy and if having a big old ring on their finger brings them joy and you can afford it why the hell not?! When you love someone you do what is in your power to make them happy and sometimes that means getting a gorgeous diamond and sometimes it means just being there for them through a difficult time. Being there to support them and vice versa no matter the dream.

Great post Circe (as usual!).

 

[momhappy]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

After reading the article, I think it has about as much substance as one of those awful "How to Please Your Man in Bed" articles that Cosmo runs in every, darn issue It's just a bunch of fluff.

 

[hippi_pixi]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

She sounds like a bitter person coming up with excuses.

i haven't read this thread after this comment because it is exactly what i was going to say.

i read that article and i don't see any reasons upgrading would be bad for a marriage and only see '6 ways i make myself feel better about not upgrading' maybe they should retitle it...

 

[Enerchi]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

After reading the article, I think it has about as much substance as one of those awful "How to Please Your Man in Bed" articles that Cosmo runs in every, darn issue It's just a bunch of fluff.

WHAT??? Those really AREN'T the ways to please my man in bed???? Crap..... now what am I going to do????

 

[Niel]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

t will keep you young: this has nothing to do with the quality of your marriage
He picked it: mine didnt pick it out, so doesnt apply to me personally
More important things to spend money on: this just feels like a slam on people who spend the money, seeing as how you dont know how much money they have, and what their "spending budget" is. If my hubby had 600 or 1 million dollars of spending budget, how would it hurt our marriage if i spent it?
Family heirlooms: 1 there is no reason you cant keep BOTH rings, like people have said, and TWO, im sure my daughter would love a diamond i had worn, regardless of who gave it to me. And i bet she would like it more if it was bigger, thats just a fact.
I love it: are you tell me that or are you telling yourself that? Thats good you love it, but for people who dont, this doesnt really apply.
It brings it all back: ok....

i agree with all the other posts, nothing really indicates its bad for a marriage.

 

[momhappy]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

^Enerchi
Those articles get SO old!!!! I don't have a subscription to Cosmo, but it seems like every time I pick up an issue, there's some dumb sex articles that usually has to do with pleasing your man. Now that I think about it, those Cosmo articles might have more substance in terms of marital health than a ring upgrade

 

[Circe]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

t will keep you young: this has nothing to do with the quality of your marriage
He picked it: mine didnt pick it out, so doesnt apply to me personally
More important things to spend money on: this just feels like a slam on people who spend the money, seeing as how you dont know how much money they have, and what their "spending budget" is. If my hubby had 600 or 1 million dollars of spending budget, how would it hurt our marriage if i spent it?
Family heirlooms: 1 there is no reason you cant keep BOTH rings, like people have said, and TWO, im sure my daughter would love a diamond i had worn, regardless of who gave it to me. And i bet she would like it more if it was bigger, thats just a fact.
I love it: are you tell me that or are you telling yourself that? Thats good you love it, but for people who dont, this doesnt really apply.
It brings it all back: ok....

i agree with all the other posts, nothing really indicates its bad for a marriage.

Ditto on all. I don't see it as a case of sour grapes, though - it seems more like, a) somebody whose editor tossed out an idea they could only fulfill half-assedly, and, b) somebody who's just smug. You see this all the time on the more wedding-oriented boards: some poor miserable lady whose fiance-to-be pulled a "She wanted X but I got her Y" shows up, and immediately, self-righteous ladies pop out of the woodwork to recite how much they love theirs and would never change it and anybody who would just obviously hasn't experienced Twu Wuv yet. And did they mention he proposed on a hot air ballon?

 

[momhappy]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

^You mean your proposal wasn't in a hot air balloon???? The horror You must feel so cheated and ashamed. My deepest sympathies...

 

[Smith1942]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Yes, Circe! You are so right! When a woman who has had no say whatsoever in the choosing of her ring dares not to be happy with it - even if it's the opposite of her taste, even if it's an ugly heirloom, even if he had lots of money but spent the bare minimum - the self-righteous brigade comes out in force for parade day in full uniform, all guns blazing!

"If my husband had proposed with a twist tie, I'd be soooo happy!"

"If my husband asked me to wear the ugliest ring I'd ever seen, I'd be sooo honoured!"

etc etc.

Of course, these are mainly women who chose the ring themselves and had a generous budget. Bling - lots of it and large bling too - is big business in America, and I'd love to see some of those people's faces if they themselves were presented with what is basically a diamond chip in a 9kt setting. There was one poor woman on one of those boards who'd received precisely that, and her husband could have afforded a LOT more. The poor girl was devoured on the spot by the self-righteous brigade for feeling short-changed.

Some feel that a woman should be ecstatic to receive a proposal with a twist tie. (Brings to mind that frog joke where the frog says the princess can cook his meals, do his washing, live with his mother, bear his children and feel happy and grateful forever doing so.)

However, in my view, considering that an engagement ring is something that is a lifelong gift - that is, you never get another crack at it - it seems a desperate shame not to be happy with it. You get one "moment" when she opens that gift, which can never come round again. It is SUCH a pity when it isn't what the recipient would like, within budget of course.

Of course, there is a way to avoid all this...involve the woman in the choosing of the ring in the first place, or listen to what she wants

 

[Smith1942]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Ohhhh, I am so on the fence with this one....In England it's seen as a faux-pas to upgrade. Totally unromantic and materialistic, etc etc. And an upgrade isn't an engagement ring, I feel - only the ring you got engaged with can be that.

On the other hand...if a couple can't afford a really good ring when young, but they have the funds 10-20 years down the line, then it's a good way of not having to splurge when young and impoverished, knowing you can get something when it's more financially appropriate.

I also think it depends on the original e-ring. The woman in the article clearly loves hers and it's a very decent size. In England 1.25 carats is huge. So it's not as if she got a 0.30 ctw and never really liked it.

Although I think it's somewhat unromantic, I admit that I'd love to upgrade mine. If the hubster suddenly said, "You know what Smith, you moved to another continent for little ole' me, you cook and clean and I do sod-all, and I'm also quite the pain to live with on occasion. You really deserve an upgrade. How's about a 2ct D eyeclean SI2 Signature-cut rock, then?" I would be out that door to the shops so fast that I'd forget my shoes, and bugger romance.

However, I had no hand in choosing my ring and although I'm lucky to have a Hearts on Fire and I really appreciate the cut, it's not really what I would have chosen. I like it fine, but I'm not in LOVE with it. It's too small and I don't like the colour. I could have had something super-ideal but non-HoF that was bigger with a higher colour for less money. Therefore I probably would upgrade given half the chance, even though it is possibly more romantic to be in love with the first one. But that just isn't realistic in many cases, where the guy a) chooses it all alone b) has different ideas from the girl about the ring or c) just doesn't have the funds. If your original e-ring is truly your dream ring then you're very lucky - but for many, it isn't. Whoever started the upgrade business in the US must have been hugely savvy...

See, here's where my record screeches to a halt, every time. You know that "5 Love Languages" thing? That actually made a whole lot of sense to me. I was talking about childhoods with a friend, and mentioned the fact that my folks, being undemonstrative, hadn't hugged me, well, at all, really, between 6 and 16, and she was HORRIFIED. Her family is way touchy-feely. And she associates sex with love on a 1:1 ratio ... whereas I see the two as being pretty far apart. They CAN overlap: they just don't have to.

But, to get back to the point ... eventually we got back to the fact that for me, love manifests materially. It's how I was raised. I KNOW somebody loves me when they take care of me when I'm sick. Or when they want me to have A Thing on hand that will always and forever make me think of them fondly. I think between the two, it's a difference of degree, and not kind - like, you know that saying about how "it's the thought that counts?" Never made any sense to me. I always figured if that was true, you'd THINK hard enough to get it RIGHT.

And when it comes to symbolic rings ... I figure that's an evolving process. Love isn't (or shouldn't be) static: why would that be true of its representation?

P.S. - I thought your post was GREAT and on-the-money: it just spurred a stream-of-consciousness set of associations. Since it's the second time this week I've blurted massively in response to one of your comments, I figured I should clarify that it came from a place of appreciation and not argumentation!

I make you blurt? I'm flattered! Seriously though, with the travel and the stressy family I didn't notice so don't worry about offending me! I still think the morning is the afternoon right now.

 

[Circe]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

^You mean your proposal wasn't in a hot air balloon???? The horror You must feel so cheated and ashamed. My deepest sympathies...

No, thought it HAS frequently been suggested that we're both full of hot air ....

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

I know two people who don't wear their engagement rings anymore - period. One, never liked her set and cannot afford an upgrade, and the other doesn't want to insult her husband by brooching the subject. She has told me on more than one occasion that she feels inferior amongst her blinged- out peers wearing her half-carat solitaire, so she doesn't wear it at all. I think it's sad. Sad because both rings are really lovely and sparkly and sad because an intelligent, attractive woman would feel inferior in her social circle because of her jewellery.
The article appears to be an attempt on the author's behalf to quell the jealousy within!!!

Yea,that is really sad.I would wear it proudly...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

[quote="missy|1369567524|


A big fat yes to this one Circe. I totally agree. When you love someone you want to take care of them and make them happy and if having a big old ring on their finger brings them joy and you can afford it why the hell not?! When you love someone you do what is in your power to make them happy and sometimes that means getting a gorgeous diamond and sometimes it means just being there for them through a difficult time. Being there to support them and vice versa no matter the dream.

Great post Circe (as usual!). [/quote]



Missy...Can you talk to my wife?..

 

[momhappy]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

I know two people who don't wear their engagement rings anymore - period. One, never liked her set and cannot afford an upgrade, and the other doesn't want to insult her husband by brooching the subject. She has told me on more than one occasion that she feels inferior amongst her blinged- out peers wearing her half-carat solitaire, so she doesn't wear it at all. I think it's sad. Sad because both rings are really lovely and sparkly and sad because an intelligent, attractive woman would feel inferior in her social circle because of her jewellery.
The article appears to be an attempt on the author's behalf to quell the jealousy within!!!

Yea,that is really sad.I would wear it proudly...

If a woman feels inferior around her peers in regards to her E-ring, then that's her own insecurity and likely has nothing to do with her friends. The sad part is that she allows herself to feel that way - not that she doesn't wear her ring. I wonder how her husband feels about her being embarrassed to wear her ring? I would think that would be hurtful to him.

 

[madelise]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

She sounds like a bitter person coming up with excuses.

i haven't read this thread after this comment because it is exactly what i was going to say.

i read that article and i don't see any reasons upgrading would be bad for a marriage and only see '6 ways i make myself feel better about not upgrading' maybe they should retitle it...

Legit. That's exactly what I read from it. And 6 ways to make people who DO upgrade feel badly about themselves. So, since I'm upset that *I* can't upgrade, let me take jabs at all of everyone else's marriages. I smell bullshit!!

And her load of bologna about family heirlooms? Why can't your upgrade be an heirloom? And what about keeping the first as well as getting an upgrade, to pass on to multiple children? Oh she's full of it. But then again, most writers on that site are pretty full of it.

 

[maccers]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

As my mom would say 'sour grapes'.

And where is Kenny to say 'people vary'? Because it's true.

 

[rosetta]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Yes, Circe! You are so right! When a woman who has had no say whatsoever in the choosing of her ring dares not to be happy with it - even if it's the opposite of her taste, even if it's an ugly heirloom, even if he had lots of money but spent the bare minimum - the self-righteous brigade comes out in force for parade day in full uniform, all guns blazing!

"If my husband had proposed with a twist tie, I'd be soooo happy!"

"If my husband asked me to wear the ugliest ring I'd ever seen, I'd be sooo honoured!"

etc etc.

Of course, these are mainly women who chose the ring themselves and had a generous budget. Bling - lots of it and large bling too - is big business in America, and I'd love to see some of those people's faces if they themselves were presented with what is basically a diamond chip in a 9kt setting. There was one poor woman on one of those boards who'd received precisely that, and her husband could have afforded a LOT more. The poor girl was devoured on the spot by the self-righteous brigade for feeling short-changed.

Some feel that a woman should be ecstatic to receive a proposal with a twist tie. (Brings to mind that frog joke where the frog says the princess can cook his meals, do his washing, live with his mother, bear his children and feel happy and grateful forever doing so.)

However, in my view, considering that an engagement ring is something that is a lifelong gift - that is, you never get another crack at it - it seems a desperate shame not to be happy with it. You get one "moment" when she opens that gift, which can never come round again. It is SUCH a pity when it isn't what the recipient would like, within budget of course.

Of course, there is a way to avoid all this...involve the woman in the choosing of the ring in the first place, or listen to what she wants

If my husband proposed with a twist tie I'd throw him off a bridge. And I'm not afraid to say that. I told him point blank that I wasn't going falsely gush about a sub par ring, so if wanted me to show it off, he'd better give me something bloody worth showing off. At which point he stared at me like I was horrifying yet magnificent creature and promptly outdid himself.

Frankly, I wasn't going to go around trying to prove to acquaintances how much I loved him through my willingness to accept any ole rubbish. Please. I don't care what others think about the depth of my love. It's none of their business. I know the truth. He knows it. That's all that matters. The ring is just a shiny thing I wanted, not a gauge of my or his feelings. So I'll be holding onto my original ring coz I like it, but I'll be getting more rings so "upgrading" is definitely on the table. Somehow, I suspect my marriage may survive going down the crapper. Ask me in another 20 years.

 

[Smith1942]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Wow, Rosetta, you ARE magnificent!

You're not a doctor at all, are you? You're the editor of Cosmo!

 

[TooPatient]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Yes, Circe! You are so right! When a woman who has had no say whatsoever in the choosing of her ring dares not to be happy with it - even if it's the opposite of her taste, even if it's an ugly heirloom, even if he had lots of money but spent the bare minimum - the self-righteous brigade comes out in force for parade day in full uniform, all guns blazing!

"If my husband had proposed with a twist tie, I'd be soooo happy!"

"If my husband asked me to wear the ugliest ring I'd ever seen, I'd be sooo honoured!"

etc etc.

Of course, these are mainly women who chose the ring themselves and had a generous budget. Bling - lots of it and large bling too - is big business in America, and I'd love to see some of those people's faces if they themselves were presented with what is basically a diamond chip in a 9kt setting. There was one poor woman on one of those boards who'd received precisely that, and her husband could have afforded a LOT more. The poor girl was devoured on the spot by the self-righteous brigade for feeling short-changed.

Some feel that a woman should be ecstatic to receive a proposal with a twist tie. (Brings to mind that frog joke where the frog says the princess can cook his meals, do his washing, live with his mother, bear his children and feel happy and grateful forever doing so.)

However, in my view, considering that an engagement ring is something that is a lifelong gift - that is, you never get another crack at it - it seems a desperate shame not to be happy with it. You get one "moment" when she opens that gift, which can never come round again. It is SUCH a pity when it isn't what the recipient would like, within budget of course.

Of course, there is a way to avoid all this...involve the woman in the choosing of the ring in the first place, or listen to what she wants

Agreed!!

I think a woman should be able to love her ring and upgrade all that she and her husband want (and can afford). Their business.
I also think a woman should be proud to walk around with her original ring no matter the size or quality if that is what she loves. Period. Personal choice.

The self-righteous really bug me. You see it with weddings too. "Invites are a waste of money. Why not just e-mail?" "Dinner is SOOooo expensive. Can't you just serve cake?" "Weddings are a waste of money. You really should put the money to paying off the house early."
Of course every last person I've heard this from had the wedding of their dreams. They got to plan and enjoy their special day so now they try to tell other people to not bother...

Sorry..... distracted there.
Anyway, it is all personal. So long as the husband and wife agrees, who cares!

 

[rosetta]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Wow, Rosetta, you ARE magnificent!

You're not a doctor at all, are you? You're the editor of Cosmo!

Hah, maybe I should change careers!

Honestly, it annoys me NO END when people use reverse snobbery. Just because you've got a diamond speck in a 9k piece of twine, I should know that your love must surely be True and The Greatest Love of All Time, whilst mine is Vile and Symptomatic of my Materialistic and Therefore Infinitely Inferior Love. Okaaaay....

If my fiancé was a poor high school student, I'd wear that diamond speck with pride. If my millionaire fiancé turned up with it, I'd call a taxi. I wouldn't bang on about how I love it so much, I'd never dream of upgrading it (shock, horror) and treat it like it was the best thing since sliced bread. Overcompensating, much?

 

[TC1987]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

I wore a .8ct e-ring daily for over 10 years and I was perfectly content with mine, too, once I reset into the setting I wanted and added a 1ct diamond wedding band. It wasn't even a perfectly-cut ideal H&A, either. I never learned all about light performance and all of this modern cutting strategy until after I divorced and wanted to buy myself a diamond, and I found Pricescope. Had I found PS before, I still would not have wanted to upgrade my e-ring. But that was enough ring for daily wear on my small hand, too. People always grabbed my hand to look at the rings. Nobody ever said "Oh, too-small diamond!"

Upgrading e-rings is nothing new. My aunt had about a 1.25 or 1.3ct that was her original e-ring. They married in the 1950s. They bought a OEC diamond ring in Belgium in the 1960s. She also got about a 4 or 4.5ct RB by 1990. They had no children and it was a 2nd marriage for both and both had incomes. They were quite happy together, so apparently upgrading the e-ring didn't taint their relationship any.

 

[iheartscience]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

Wow, Rosetta, you ARE magnificent!

You're not a doctor at all, are you? You're the editor of Cosmo!

Hah, maybe I should change careers!

Honestly, it annoys me NO END when people use reverse snobbery. Just because you've got a diamond speck in a 9k piece of twine, I should know that your love must surely be True and The Greatest Love of All Time, whilst mine is Vile and Symptomatic of my Materialistic and Therefore Infinitely Inferior Love. Okaaaay....

If my fiancé was a poor high school student, I'd wear that diamond speck with pride. If my millionaire fiancé turned up with it, I'd call a taxi. I wouldn't bang on about how I love it so much, I'd never dream of upgrading it (shock, horror) and treat it like it was the best thing since sliced bread. Overcompensating, much?

LOLOL

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

I know she just used the headline as a grabber, most certainly never proved her point but I was more entertained by the responses and the atrocious spelling and lack of grammar!!
ENERCHI.. DH just the other day noticed my pink sapphire and diamond BGD band I bought months ago on pre loved and he actually asked... Did I get you that? YES, HONEY YOU DID!

OMG--that's how it works in our house. Husband get is bonue in February, gives me a budget and I pick out what I want. My latest was the sapphire "Kate/Diana" ring --naturally the carat size was smaller than the 8 ct. honker she's wearing. I love it.

But I will be wearing a ring or a pair of earrings and he will say "So when did I buy you that?" He really has not a lot of interest in jewelry and would rather I pic out my things myself.

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

I think the article title was lame, because it really didn't talk about why upgrading is bad for a marriage at all. I do think a lot of those things when I look at my own ring, but that's MY own ring. I think a lot of people have different priorities, and a lot of people simply don't put that much significance in a *thing*.

Although I do think some people on this thread sound a tad defensive...

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: 6 reasons upgrading your Ering is bad for your marriage!

And when it comes to symbolic rings ... I figure that's an evolving process. Love isn't (or shouldn't be) static: why would that be true of its representation?

Ha, so true. I like to joke that my e-ring/w-ring set is what I thought I was "worth" when my husband asked me to marry him - and that my far blingier, (in my opinion) more over the top 3 stone/stacking band set is what I KNOW I was worth after being married to him for a few years and having his kid.

But I didn't need to upgrade my ering to do it...I had another hand to adorn (I know a lot of people don't like RHRs though). In reality, with my current life I shouldn't be focusing on the RINGS right now...

It's that really, I need another pair of HANDS.