cammy85
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2008
- Messages
- 455
My wedding is 3 weeks from Saturday. I have a very dear family friend - she has known my family for almost 30 years, took care of me as a kid when my parents were working and was as close to a ''surrogate parents'' that I think I could have. She was diagnosed with several forms of cancer within the last few months and, as of last month was give 2-4 months left. Sunday, she took a turn for the worst. Last night, the hospice nurse estimated she had 72 hours left to live.
From what I understand, she is sedated and being given pain medication, so she is comfortable, but essentially comatose. I am very relieved that she is not in any pain, but I am devistated and heartbroken right now.
We all knew pretty early on that she wouldn''t be strong enough to make it to the wedding, but now she won''t even be around at all. Before all this, I had planned to stop by the hospice in my wedding dress to see her, and it just breaks my heart to know she can''t. I talked to her on the phone on Sunday after she''d taken a turn for the worst, and that''s the last time I''ll ever get to talk to her.
Because of the events of the past two years (traumatic, but a novel saved for another day), I knew the wedding was going to be a very emotional day, it just seems like this is going to be the icing on the cake. My one grandmother passed away about 8 years ago, my other (who i was also extremely close to) passed less than a year and a half ago. I always had this vision of my closest family members being with me as I got ready for my wedding day. I am just so thankful that i will have my mom around.
I just know that I am going to be so excited that I have my closest friends and family around me for my wedding, but I also know that I will have a giant void in my heart, missing those that I was extremely close with and always imagined as being an integral part of my wedding day. I have a feeling I''m going to have a hard time balancing my emotions and, while I know it''s ok to miss those who can''t be there - I really don''t want that to take away from the fact that so many other people WILL be there, and I want to appreciate that these people love me too and want to celebrate with us. And I want to enjoy myself.
At 3 weeks out, things are already somewhat stressful and overwhelming - with a lot of DIY projects left (mostly printing and cutting thankfully as well as the favors), and we''re currently in the process of buying a house.
I am just not sure what I can do to take a step back and deal with some of this before the actual wedding. It''s going to be a terribly emotional day for everyone, but I want it to be a happy day.
I''m just about {---} this far at any given moment from crying right now, and I''m doing my best to hold myself together, especially at work. But it just hurts.
From what I understand, she is sedated and being given pain medication, so she is comfortable, but essentially comatose. I am very relieved that she is not in any pain, but I am devistated and heartbroken right now.
We all knew pretty early on that she wouldn''t be strong enough to make it to the wedding, but now she won''t even be around at all. Before all this, I had planned to stop by the hospice in my wedding dress to see her, and it just breaks my heart to know she can''t. I talked to her on the phone on Sunday after she''d taken a turn for the worst, and that''s the last time I''ll ever get to talk to her.
Because of the events of the past two years (traumatic, but a novel saved for another day), I knew the wedding was going to be a very emotional day, it just seems like this is going to be the icing on the cake. My one grandmother passed away about 8 years ago, my other (who i was also extremely close to) passed less than a year and a half ago. I always had this vision of my closest family members being with me as I got ready for my wedding day. I am just so thankful that i will have my mom around.
I just know that I am going to be so excited that I have my closest friends and family around me for my wedding, but I also know that I will have a giant void in my heart, missing those that I was extremely close with and always imagined as being an integral part of my wedding day. I have a feeling I''m going to have a hard time balancing my emotions and, while I know it''s ok to miss those who can''t be there - I really don''t want that to take away from the fact that so many other people WILL be there, and I want to appreciate that these people love me too and want to celebrate with us. And I want to enjoy myself.
At 3 weeks out, things are already somewhat stressful and overwhelming - with a lot of DIY projects left (mostly printing and cutting thankfully as well as the favors), and we''re currently in the process of buying a house.
I am just not sure what I can do to take a step back and deal with some of this before the actual wedding. It''s going to be a terribly emotional day for everyone, but I want it to be a happy day.
I''m just about {---} this far at any given moment from crying right now, and I''m doing my best to hold myself together, especially at work. But it just hurts.