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2 styles of BM dresses?

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larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
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OK, so I've been going back and forth on what to have my BM's wear...I know it's going to be black and tea length, but that's all I've decided. I have 3 who are thin and would look good in anything and I have 3 that are larger in the bust (2 of which are larger girls) I want to have them all look great. I love the strapless and v necked or halter dresses, but I realize these will not work for everyone.

Do you think it's ok to have 3 girls wearing strapless or v neck and 3 in something with straps? They seem to not mind the idea at all, esp the girls with the larger chests who worry about strapless dresses (with reason), but my mom seems to think I should have just one dress. The girls who are smaller in general would probably look fine in anything, but they'd look better in a dress that was strapless or v necked, I think.

I think if I went with the 2, I could just have them alternate down the aisle, and they'd be more "their" styles that they could rewear. Jim Helm offers alot of really great dresses in tea length and different styles that I feel could accomodate everyone.

I'll have to see what this all looks like on, I guess, but I think letting them wear 2 types of dresses better suited to their shapes would be fine...

What do you guys think? Do you think this would work well, or would it look like the "skinny girls" get to wear one and the "larger girls" have to wear another? That may make some feel worse, which is not my objective, so in that case going with a strapped dress for everyone may be better, even if it's not the look that I personally would go for...do you think it'd look that way?
 

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LuckyLady

Rough_Rock
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Aug 14, 2006
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Personally, I love the idea of different styles. I think nowadays that is much more common, and I think it is lovely that you want your BM to be comfortable.

Maybe you could allow them to pick between the two styles and that way you are not dictating what the "larger" or "smaller" girls can wear.
 

dtnyc

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I agree w/ Luckylady that if you go w/ more than one style you should allow them to pick for themselves. Perhaps you could even allow them to choose from more than 2 styles?

I had 6 in my party and allowed them to choose from 6 styles of J Crew dresses, there ended up being 4 different dresses worn- 4 girls wore strapless (2 in 2 different strapless dresses) and 2 girls wore 2 different strapped styles-
here is a link to a thread where I posted a picture...

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/bm-dress-length-input.54615/=
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 17, 2006
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I think if you''re going to do different dresses, it would look better to have more than 2 styles... if only to avoid "the skinny girls can wear this one..." thing. With tea-length black dresses, even if every girl was in a differnt style, it would still look cohesive! I think it would be great, especially since everyone could get the dress that is right on them, and probably wear again. The matchy-matchy thing isn''t right for everyone... convincing your mom may be tough, but in the end, as long as you and the girls are happy, it will be fine.
 

mercoledi

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I would be concerned that guests would think "huh, guess the bigger girls didn''t fit into the other dress". I hate seeing the pictures of 6 thin BM''s in a little strapless something, and then another girl who has clearly had straps tacked into her dress for support and coverage; I feel so bad for her. A dress with a modest V neck or scoop neck should work for most people since it can allow for uh, supportive undergarments.
Pretty scoopneck dress from Ann Taylor (would have to be shortened):


Pretty Dessy dress in black.

If you really think you can''t get everyone to look good in one dress, then why not say something like:

Pick any tea-length J Crew dress in black silk
Pick any Dessy chiffon dress in black
Pick any watters dupioni dress in black

That way they would all look similar, but can each pick the most flattering style.
 

labbielove

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Jun 28, 2006
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i would choose a manufacturer, and a color or color family if you want more than one color, and let them choose the dress they like.
just make sure you order them all on one order so dye lot will be the same.

my personal opinion is that they will feel more like "them" in something they are comfortable wearing.
 

dtnyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
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1,082
Also let me add- w/ letting your girls choose their own style it''s much more likely that they will actually want to wear the dress, be more likely to re-wear the dress because it''s one they chose, and it''s less likely they will need ''spensive alterations, etc.

Lastly I think they will feel more comfortable and confident in themselves and when they smile you will see this in the pictures.
 

njc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 10, 2004
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1,997

I was BM in a friends wedding and we ended up getting dresses from David’s Bridal that were two piece. Everyone got the same skirt and everyone picked a different top, we even had maternity wear thrown in (BM to the right of the bride). As you can see, we were all shapes and sizes and I LOVED being able to pick out my own. I have worn the top several times since. I think it’s a great look and actually made me feel bad for making my girls all wear the same dress, but we got married within 3 weeks of each other and I didn’t want to steal her idea! ;-)



The key thing that made this work was it being the same company, same fabric and the same color. We noticed the same color looks different when used on different fabrics.



all_diff_dresses.jpg
 

tanyak

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
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209
I''m a fan of picking the designer, color and length and letting them choose the style most comfortable to them. This is what I did for my wedding. One of my maids who has an awesome body (5''7, size 6, C cup) picked a dress with straps because she hates how she looks in strapless dresses. I, on the other hand, am larger and busty and I prefer strapless dresses over halthers and spaghetti straps. They look the best on me. Sometimes body shape alone doesn''t determine what people can or cannot wear.
 

FireGoddess

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 25, 2005
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12,145
I second the notion of same color/designer etc but allowing the girls to pick their own style. Your idea of 3 in one style and 3 in another is good if they all feel comfortable with that as well.
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
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1,747
Thank you ladies for your responses! The LAST thing I'd want is for anyone to think "oh, they didn't fit into that style dress, so they had to get a different one." That'd be awful.

I think it may be better to just pick a designer and length/basic style and let them pick their own from a certain line (to make sure all the blacks are the same black and that the material/quality is similar). I really do want to just let them pick, but my mom keeps pressuring me to pick just one dress for everyone, but it's not important to me that they all look the same. She keeps saying "how is everyone going to know who the bridesmaids are" and I don't see why they have to be all the same.

IT may be time to put some of my sales training to use and pursuade my mom that it's better...or at least that it'll make me happy and she shouldn't be so concerned about it.
 

tanyak

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
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209
They''ll know because they''ll be the one standing beside you during the ceremony! And frankly, what guests get in a tizzy about who the bridesmaids are? Mothers.




 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
Date: 12/13/2006 3:29:59 PM
Author: mercoledi
I would be concerned that guests would think ''huh, guess the bigger girls didn''t fit into the other dress''. I hate seeing the pictures of 6 thin BM''s in a little strapless something, and then another girl who has clearly had straps tacked into her dress for support and coverage; I feel so bad for her. A dress with a modest V neck or scoop neck should work for most people since it can allow for uh, supportive undergarments.
Pretty scoopneck dress from Ann Taylor (would have to be shortened):


Pretty Dessy dress in black.

If you really think you can''t get everyone to look good in one dress, then why not say something like:

Pick any tea-length J Crew dress in black silk
Pick any Dessy chiffon dress in black
Pick any watters dupioni dress in black

That way they would all look similar, but can each pick the most flattering style.

Yeah I was thinking of telling them to pick any jim helm''s dress in black and tea length. He has a whole line of tea length and I really do like them all. He''s a bit pricier, but my shop said that if they order with the shop I bought my dress from, they''ll give them 20% off, even if it''s something they don''t usually order or carry b/c they can order anything with the style number and measurements...
 

dtnyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
1,082
You should also try and get quotes from Pearl''s Place and netbride, both often can make better deals than B&M bridal shops.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Date: 12/13/2006 3:33:03 PM
Author: labbielove
i would choose a manufacturer, and a color or color family if you want more than one color, and let them choose the dress they like.
just make sure you order them all on one order so dye lot will be the same.

my personal opinion is that they will feel more like ''them'' in something they are comfortable wearing.
I''ll do that too... Same designer, fabric and length (I hope they can agree on one for each! I won''t be chosing for them) and whatever style they want. If my dress has colour, they''ll probably both wear my second main colour, if not, I''d like that if they wore one colour each.
 
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