I will rue that moment till the day I die. She was healthy and we had no clue she would die of a sudden and extreme asthma attack that Friday night. It was a huge horrible shock that we never saw coming. I made the right decision though my dh was less ready for it and I said ok time to give him peace. My dh and I held him as my sister put him down. I regret so not knowing that morning before we went to see her because he crawled into my lap and was purring and I said Billy I have to workout but we will hang out later that afternoon. There was no later that afternoon for him. I regret that action deeply and wish I had spent the time with him purring in my lap that morning. 
Do you have any pictures of Billy by any chance that you would like to share? I'd love to see him.
missy|1455896483|3992926 said:Asscher, thank you for sharing. If I may share one piece of wisdom I have truly learned well over the years. If a problem can be solved with money it is surmountable. I know I sort of changed the saying but just because I get how you feel and I am not devaluing the importance of this issue for you. Just saying with time it will be so much better. And I'm glad you went with your gut and stayed with your true love. Thank you so much for sharing.
CJ, thank you for your kindness. I know you get it. I can share the pic I have on my phone as I am out right now but if you want I can certainly share more photos of my dear Billy when I get home. Lol we have photos of him all over our home. Greg and I both loved him so dearly. He was a child to us. Sorry if that seems silly to some people. That's how we feel about all our fur babies but especially about Billy.
First pic from when we were at my sister's house. Lol you can see my sister and Jesse (her dog) in the background photo. Jesse died a long time ago. Oh if only our fur babies could live a longer life. They are gone too fast.
And the video Greg made commemorating Billy's life. Very rudimentary but heartfelt.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AOxele31zsU
And if I may adding a pic of my grandma with all of my (small) family. My sister, me, my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle. Very early 1970's.
In the last pic you can see what Greg made to hold Billy's ashes. It was one of his first woodworking projects. 
The greater the love the greater the grief. 
Sandeek|1455916730|3993038 said:Missy, I am so sorry you feel such sadness over that Monday visit you rushed with your grandma. I'm sure she knew how very much you love/loved her and she would never want you beating yourself up about that one day. One day in a life of love. She understood, I promise!
My greatest regret was not realizing I would lose my parents a month apart and I stupidly spent most of that time talking to Dr.s, cleaning their home (what WAS I thinking?!), and running around trying to make arrangements for home care or treatments, ect. When dad unexpectedly passed, I so wish I had taken the remaining weeks of moms life just talking to and enjoying her. Brings tears to my eyes. I thought taking care of the 'things' were what I needed to do (alone/no siblings) when all I should've done was be with her. I was also on a quick sanity walk when mom passed, even though I was with her 24/7 at that time. What a fool I was not to recognize what was important at that time, but I was just on autopilot.
My greatest personal (not professional) accomplishment was being best 'friends' with my parents (very few people I know had that), and making a happy family for my kids who, now adults, consider me and their dad their best friends too!
Wow, I needed to unload that as I carry this guilt and have no one IRL I would confess it to! Thank you!!
msop04|1455909608|3992995 said:missy, I am in tears over your loss of Billy. I, too, lost a cat who was very dear to me. It was sudden and unexpected. Bless you for loving him so much while he was here! Billy was beautiful and reminds me of my (soon-to-be) 16 year old kitty, Punkin, who is orange where Billy was gray. He has been with me my entire adult life. I can't imagine my life without him.
My biggest regret was being so hard on myself regarding my weight. I was always the "chubby friend" in the group. However, looking back, I wasn't chubby -- I was really thin. Oh, to go back to those days! I would've had a lot more self confidence!
The best thing I ever did (besides marrying my DH) was having a baby. I always thought it sounded cliché when I heard others make that remark, but now that she's here, I understand. I never knew I could love something/someone so much.
Here is my Punkin
...and my little *princess head*, Blaire.
and I just couldn't do it. It bothers me and upsets me to this day that I couldn't step out of my own mental blocked and be there for him.
You could not have known and it was not your fault. Hindsight is always 20/20. If only we could go back in time. (((Hugs))).
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