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1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever did
- Thread starter missy
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
My biggest regret is a tie actually. Sorry I'm breaking my own instructions to pick just one but I can't. It's similarly themed though if that counts.
It was not getting to say goodbye to my grandma before she died. She was not feeling well that week and I visited her that Monday before she died (that Friday night) as I always visited her Monday afternoons. I was in a rush that last Monday I visited her with some errand or other. Cannot even remember what was so important. I regret that day so much. I stopped by and visited with her for just a short while and she wanted me to stay but I said grandma I'll see you next week and stay for a longer visit then.
I will rue that moment till the day I die. She was healthy and we had no clue she would die of a sudden and extreme asthma attack that Friday night. It was a huge horrible shock that we never saw coming.
If only I could go back in time and spend the day with her and let her know how very much I loved and cherished her. How lucky I was to have her as my grandma. I can never get that time back and I still feel the pain almost 24 years later. Grandma I miss and love you and I am so so sorry I didn't spend more time with you that last day I saw you.
That ties with my regret over my darling and beloved cat Billy. He was not like any other cat I know. He was a cat who thought he was a human. He was special. He had been sick for a long time. He had diabetes for years for which we administered insulin injections every twelve hours. We had him on a special diet.
He developed kidney disease and heart failure but we kept him going with a good quality of life as long as we could. We had many times we thought that would be it. This particular morning I called my sister (his veterinarian) and said he was having trouble breathing again. She said bring him in. I thought it would be like all the other times she drained the fluid out of him and his breathing would be restored and we would once again take him home with us. Well that didn't happen.
She examined him and said it was time. He was suffering now. I made the right decision though my dh was less ready for it and I said ok time to give him peace. My dh and I held him as my sister put him down. I regret so not knowing that morning before we went to see her because he crawled into my lap and was purring and I said Billy I have to workout but we will hang out later that afternoon. There was no later that afternoon for him. I regret that action deeply and wish I had spent the time with him purring in my lap that morning.
So you can see how my two biggest regrets have a similar theme. I learned my lesson and will never put things above my loved ones again. You never know what is around the corner. Never.
The best thing I ever did was marrying my dh. Some of you know I never wanted to get married. Ever. Well I won't bore you with the backstory but in hindsight marrying my dh was the best thing I ever did and he is the best thing hands down in my life. I love him so I cannot properly express it with words. I a, so grateful I made the right decision because during that time I was very unsure and nervous about getting married.
Thanks for letting me share. Especially my biggest regrets. My heart still hurts thinking of those last days.
My biggest regret is a tie actually. Sorry I'm breaking my own instructions to pick just one but I can't. It's similarly themed though if that counts.
It was not getting to say goodbye to my grandma before she died. She was not feeling well that week and I visited her that Monday before she died (that Friday night) as I always visited her Monday afternoons. I was in a rush that last Monday I visited her with some errand or other. Cannot even remember what was so important. I regret that day so much. I stopped by and visited with her for just a short while and she wanted me to stay but I said grandma I'll see you next week and stay for a longer visit then.
I will rue that moment till the day I die. She was healthy and we had no clue she would die of a sudden and extreme asthma attack that Friday night. It was a huge horrible shock that we never saw coming. If only I could go back in time and spend the day with her and let her know how very much I loved and cherished her. How lucky I was to have her as my grandma. I can never get that time back and I still feel the pain almost 24 years later. Grandma I miss and love you and I am so so sorry I didn't spend more time with you that last day I saw you.
That ties with my regret over my darling and beloved cat Billy. He was not like any other cat I know. He was a cat who thought he was a human. He was special. He had been sick for a long time. He had diabetes for years for which we administered insulin injections every twelve hours. We had him on a special diet.
He developed kidney disease and heart failure but we kept him going with a good quality of life as long as we could. We had many times we thought that would be it. This particular morning I called my sister (his veterinarian) and said he was having trouble breathing again. She said bring him in. I thought it would be like all the other times she drained the fluid out of him and his breathing would be restored and we would once again take him home with us. Well that didn't happen.
She examined him and said it was time. He was suffering now.
I made the right decision though my dh was less ready for it and I said ok time to give him peace. My dh and I held him as my sister put him down. I regret so not knowing that morning before we went to see her because he crawled into my lap and was purring and I said Billy I have to workout but we will hang out later that afternoon. There was no later that afternoon for him. I regret that action deeply and wish I had spent the time with him purring in my lap that morning. So you can see how my two biggest regrets have a similar theme. I learned my lesson and will never put things above my loved ones again. You never know what is around the corner. Never.
The best thing I ever did was marrying my dh. Some of you know I never wanted to get married. Ever. Well I won't bore you with the backstory but in hindsight marrying my dh was the best thing I ever did and he is the best thing hands down in my life. I love him so I cannot properly express it with words. I a, so grateful I made the right decision because during that time I was very unsure and nervous about getting married.
Thanks for letting me share. Especially my biggest regrets. My heart still hurts thinking of those last days.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Regret: Not realizing how much my student loan debt would impact my adult life.
The Best: Ignoring many people who tried to convince me to break up with my high school boyfriend because those things "never work out". We've been together now nearly 15 years, married for 8, and have a lovely baby boy.
Regret: Not realizing how much my student loan debt would impact my adult life.
The Best: Ignoring many people who tried to convince me to break up with my high school boyfriend because those things "never work out". We've been together now nearly 15 years, married for 8, and have a lovely baby boy.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Missy - you know I have a special place for animals in my heart so I hope it doesn't sound totally callous or silly or weird that out of your 2 stories the one about Billy is the one that brought tears to my eyes.
I really feel your pain through the post. Do you have any pictures of Billy by any chance that you would like to share? I'd love to see him.
(and I am so sorry about that day you didn't get to spend with your grandma. Knowing the little I know about you your grandma knew how much you loved her by the companionship you gave her with your weekly visits and I am sure many other kind actions. I am sure she left feeling like you loved her and appreciated her even though you did not stay as long as she was hoping for that day. You had no way of knowing.)
Missy - you know I have a special place for animals in my heart so I hope it doesn't sound totally callous or silly or weird that out of your 2 stories the one about Billy is the one that brought tears to my eyes.
I really feel your pain through the post.
Do you have any pictures of Billy by any chance that you would like to share? I'd love to see him.(and I am so sorry about that day you didn't get to spend with your grandma. Knowing the little I know about you your grandma knew how much you loved her by the companionship you gave her with your weekly visits and I am sure many other kind actions. I am sure she left feeling like you loved her and appreciated her even though you did not stay as long as she was hoping for that day. You had no way of knowing.)
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Asscher, thank you for sharing. If I may share one piece of wisdom I have truly learned well over the years. If a problem can be solved with money it is surmountable. I know I sort of changed the saying but just because I get how you feel and I am not devaluing the importance of this issue for you. Just saying with time it will be so much better. And I'm glad you went with your gut and stayed with your true love. Thank you so much for sharing.
CJ, thank you for your kindness. I know you get it. I can share the pic I have on my phone as I am out right now but if you want I can certainly share more photos of my dear Billy when I get home. Lol we have photos of him all over our home. Greg and I both loved him so dearly. He was a child to us. Sorry if that seems silly to some people. That's how we feel about all our fur babies but especially about Billy.
First pic from when we were at my sister's house. Lol you can see my sister and Jesse (her dog) in the background photo. Jesse died a long time ago. Oh if only our fur babies could live a longer life. They are gone too fast.
And the video Greg made commemorating Billy's life. Very rudimentary but heartfelt.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AOxele31zsU
And if I may adding a pic of my grandma with all of my (small) family. My sister, me, my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle. Very early 1970's.
Asscher, thank you for sharing. If I may share one piece of wisdom I have truly learned well over the years. If a problem can be solved with money it is surmountable. I know I sort of changed the saying but just because I get how you feel and I am not devaluing the importance of this issue for you. Just saying with time it will be so much better. And I'm glad you went with your gut and stayed with your true love. Thank you so much for sharing.
CJ, thank you for your kindness. I know you get it. I can share the pic I have on my phone as I am out right now but if you want I can certainly share more photos of my dear Billy when I get home. Lol we have photos of him all over our home. Greg and I both loved him so dearly. He was a child to us. Sorry if that seems silly to some people. That's how we feel about all our fur babies but especially about Billy.
First pic from when we were at my sister's house. Lol you can see my sister and Jesse (her dog) in the background photo. Jesse died a long time ago. Oh if only our fur babies could live a longer life. They are gone too fast.
And the video Greg made commemorating Billy's life. Very rudimentary but heartfelt.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AOxele31zsU
And if I may adding a pic of my grandma with all of my (small) family. My sister, me, my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle. Very early 1970's.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
OMG missy I have tears running down my face. Billy was just so adorable. I am so glad you have video of him showing you affection. What a cutie. I would of course love to see more pictures of him! But share more only if you would like to.
And I love that you posted a picture of your family and grandma too.
(and you are so gorgeous! I see the kindness in your face. Or maybe I just know it's there so I see it so easily.)
missy|1455896483|3992926 said:Asscher, thank you for sharing. If I may share one piece of wisdom I have truly learned well over the years. If a problem can be solved with money it is surmountable. I know I sort of changed the saying but just because I get how you feel and I am not devaluing the importance of this issue for you. Just saying with time it will be so much better. And I'm glad you went with your gut and stayed with your true love. Thank you so much for sharing.
CJ, thank you for your kindness. I know you get it. I can share the pic I have on my phone as I am out right now but if you want I can certainly share more photos of my dear Billy when I get home. Lol we have photos of him all over our home. Greg and I both loved him so dearly. He was a child to us. Sorry if that seems silly to some people. That's how we feel about all our fur babies but especially about Billy.
First pic from when we were at my sister's house. Lol you can see my sister and Jesse (her dog) in the background photo. Jesse died a long time ago. Oh if only our fur babies could live a longer life. They are gone too fast.
And the video Greg made commemorating Billy's life. Very rudimentary but heartfelt.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AOxele31zsU
And if I may adding a pic of my grandma with all of my (small) family. My sister, me, my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle. Very early 1970's.
OMG missy I have tears running down my face. Billy was just so adorable. I am so glad you have video of him showing you affection. What a cutie. I would of course love to see more pictures of him! But share more only if you would like to.
And I love that you posted a picture of your family and grandma too.
(and you are so gorgeous! I see the kindness in your face. Or maybe I just know it's there so I see it so easily.)
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
I try to live my life in the moment, reacting and making choices as best I can with what I know at the time. Regrets will eat you up. We can't live our lives in hind sight. You loved (still love) your Grandmother and sweet kitty and they knew it. It's clear you have a sweet sensitive heart and love fully. Regreting is causing you pain, remember and embrace the love.
I try to live my life in the moment, reacting and making choices as best I can with what I know at the time. Regrets will eat you up. We can't live our lives in hind sight. You loved (still love) your Grandmother and sweet kitty and they knew it. It's clear you have a sweet sensitive heart and love fully. Regreting is causing you pain, remember and embrace the love.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
CJ, you are a sweetheart. Thank you. (((Hugs))). I am attaching a few more pics I found. In the first pic Billy was at my parent's house where they were babysitting him when we were away in Italy I think. IDK how the heck he got in their freezer but lol my mom took advantage of the photo opportunity.
In the last pic you can see what Greg made to hold Billy's ashes. It was one of his first woodworking projects.
Bonfire, I agree. You cannot let regret eat you up and honestly I have very few regrets overall. These are the 2 biggest ones and in reality I am still sad about these missed opportunities to say goodbye. I also have learned important things from these 2 regrets so I think from regrets can come learning and wisdom so in that regard regrets can be helpful in life.
And with time and experience and learning from one's missteps/mistakes (however you see it) has come perspective and hopefully some wisdom and I agree they both knew how much I loved them and still do of course.
Living in the moment is an admirable quality and one I try to do every single day. There are times I find it easier than others but I am constantly aware and working towards living in the moment.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I appreciate that.
Kenny, as always you have a good perspective and handle on things. Thank you for sharing it here.
And scuba diving in the Philippines sounds amazing.
I hope others will share some of their memories with us.
CJ, you are a sweetheart. Thank you. (((Hugs))). I am attaching a few more pics I found. In the first pic Billy was at my parent's house where they were babysitting him when we were away in Italy I think. IDK how the heck he got in their freezer but lol my mom took advantage of the photo opportunity.
In the last pic you can see what Greg made to hold Billy's ashes. It was one of his first woodworking projects. Bonfire, I agree. You cannot let regret eat you up and honestly I have very few regrets overall. These are the 2 biggest ones and in reality I am still sad about these missed opportunities to say goodbye. I also have learned important things from these 2 regrets so I think from regrets can come learning and wisdom so in that regard regrets can be helpful in life.
And with time and experience and learning from one's missteps/mistakes (however you see it) has come perspective and hopefully some wisdom and I agree they both knew how much I loved them and still do of course.
Living in the moment is an admirable quality and one I try to do every single day. There are times I find it easier than others but I am constantly aware and working towards living in the moment.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I appreciate that.
Kenny, as always you have a good perspective and handle on things. Thank you for sharing it here.
And scuba diving in the Philippines sounds amazing.
I hope others will share some of their memories with us.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
missy, I am in tears over your loss of Billy. I, too, lost a cat who was very dear to me. It was sudden and unexpected. Bless you for loving him so much while he was here! Billy was beautiful and reminds me of my (soon-to-be) 16 year old kitty, Punkin, who is orange where Billy was gray. He has been with me my entire adult life. I can't imagine my life without him.
My biggest regret was being so hard on myself regarding my weight. I was always the "chubby friend" in the group. However, looking back, I wasn't chubby -- I was really thin. Oh, to go back to those days! I would've had a lot more self confidence!
The best thing I ever did (besides marrying my DH) was having a baby. I always thought it sounded cliché when I heard others make that remark, but now that she's here, I understand. I never knew I could love something/someone so much. 
Here is my Punkin
...and my little *princess head*, Blaire.
missy, I am in tears over your loss of Billy. I, too, lost a cat who was very dear to me. It was sudden and unexpected. Bless you for loving him so much while he was here! Billy was beautiful and reminds me of my (soon-to-be) 16 year old kitty, Punkin, who is orange where Billy was gray. He has been with me my entire adult life. I can't imagine my life without him.
My biggest regret was being so hard on myself regarding my weight. I was always the "chubby friend" in the group. However, looking back, I wasn't chubby -- I was really thin. Oh, to go back to those days! I would've had a lot more self confidence!
The best thing I ever did (besides marrying my DH) was having a baby. I always thought it sounded cliché when I heard others make that remark, but now that she's here, I understand. I never knew I could love something/someone so much.
Here is my Punkin
...and my little *princess head*, Blaire.
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Cherokee1979
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Regret: Not getting over a bad habit of mine earlier in life
Best thing: Accidentally impregnating my ex-wife after only seven months of dating on our first trip together. For my beloved son, I would be honored to take a shotgun blast to the face, with a smile. Best things in life are always, always free, imo
Regret: Not getting over a bad habit of mine earlier in life
Best thing: Accidentally impregnating my ex-wife after only seven months of dating on our first trip together. For my beloved son, I would be honored to take a shotgun blast to the face, with a smile. Best things in life are always, always free, imo
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
msop04, I LOVE your sweet baby Blaire and your kitty too. Both are adorable!!!
And thank you for taking the time to read about Billy.
I totally get what you mean re appreciating what we once had/how we were in the past etc. I was just talking with a good friend about this the other day. How I wish I appreciated my youth when I had it. The clear skin, pretty hair, ease of keeping in shape. All of it. Sure it's all superficial but OMG how hard we were on ourselves in those days when we were relatively perfect physically compared to now. I do wish we could go back in time and have had that wisdom and confidence too to know a good thing when we had it. Oh well. I say to myself better appreciate the way things are now because in 20 years I will be longing for these days. LOL. See I am learning from past regrets.
Kenny, thank you! Just trying to pull my weight here a little more. You always do a great job at posting thoughtful and hot topic threads and I enjoy those. Just helping out a little so it's not all on you.
Cherokee, I agree. The best things in life *are* free!
msop04, I LOVE your sweet baby Blaire and your kitty too. Both are adorable!!!
And thank you for taking the time to read about Billy.
I totally get what you mean re appreciating what we once had/how we were in the past etc. I was just talking with a good friend about this the other day. How I wish I appreciated my youth when I had it. The clear skin, pretty hair, ease of keeping in shape. All of it. Sure it's all superficial but OMG how hard we were on ourselves in those days when we were relatively perfect physically compared to now. I do wish we could go back in time and have had that wisdom and confidence too to know a good thing when we had it. Oh well. I say to myself better appreciate the way things are now because in 20 years I will be longing for these days. LOL. See I am learning from past regrets.
Kenny, thank you! Just trying to pull my weight here a little more. You always do a great job at posting thoughtful and hot topic threads and I enjoy those. Just helping out a little so it's not all on you.
Cherokee, I agree. The best things in life *are* free!
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Biggest regret - not practicing the piano from 2nd through 6th grade, would rather go out and play in the backyard (after I finished my homework). Sure wished I was more proficient on that instrument today. My mom would yell at me about this all the time.
Best thing - taking up the flute in 7th grade, it has brought me much joy and I am still playing Principal Flute in a Community College orchestra 48 years later. This ties with marrying DH (after ex husband had an affair with a married woman and dumped me). He is my rock, is extremely kind, super intelligent, and has a great sense of humor (like a big kid), used to post here as Websailor. I think Wink likes him more than me, lol.
Biggest regret - not practicing the piano from 2nd through 6th grade, would rather go out and play in the backyard (after I finished my homework). Sure wished I was more proficient on that instrument today. My mom would yell at me about this all the time.
Best thing - taking up the flute in 7th grade, it has brought me much joy and I am still playing Principal Flute in a Community College orchestra 48 years later. This ties with marrying DH (after ex husband had an affair with a married woman and dumped me). He is my rock, is extremely kind, super intelligent, and has a great sense of humor (like a big kid), used to post here as Websailor. I think Wink likes him more than me, lol.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Missy, I am so sorry you feel such sadness over that Monday visit you rushed with your grandma. I'm sure she knew how very much you love/loved her and she would never want you beating yourself up about that one day. One day in a life of love. She understood, I promise!
My greatest regret was not realizing I would lose my parents a month apart and I stupidly spent most of that time talking to Dr.s, cleaning their home (what WAS I thinking?!), and running around trying to make arrangements for home care or treatments, ect. When dad unexpectedly passed, I so wish I had taken the remaining weeks of moms life just talking to and enjoying her. Brings tears to my eyes. I thought taking care of the 'things' were what I needed to do (alone/no siblings) when all I should've done was be with her. I was also on a quick sanity walk when mom passed, even though I was with her 24/7 at that time. What a fool I was not to recognize what was important at that time, but I was just on autopilot.
The greater the love the greater the grief.
My greatest personal (not professional) accomplishment was being best 'friends' with my parents (very few people I know had that), and making a happy family for my kids who, now adults, consider me and their dad their best friends too!
Wow, I needed to unload that as I carry this guilt and have no one IRL I would confess it to! Thank you!!
Missy, I am so sorry you feel such sadness over that Monday visit you rushed with your grandma. I'm sure she knew how very much you love/loved her and she would never want you beating yourself up about that one day. One day in a life of love. She understood, I promise!
My greatest regret was not realizing I would lose my parents a month apart and I stupidly spent most of that time talking to Dr.s, cleaning their home (what WAS I thinking?!), and running around trying to make arrangements for home care or treatments, ect. When dad unexpectedly passed, I so wish I had taken the remaining weeks of moms life just talking to and enjoying her. Brings tears to my eyes. I thought taking care of the 'things' were what I needed to do (alone/no siblings) when all I should've done was be with her. I was also on a quick sanity walk when mom passed, even though I was with her 24/7 at that time. What a fool I was not to recognize what was important at that time, but I was just on autopilot.
The greater the love the greater the grief. My greatest personal (not professional) accomplishment was being best 'friends' with my parents (very few people I know had that), and making a happy family for my kids who, now adults, consider me and their dad their best friends too!
Wow, I needed to unload that as I carry this guilt and have no one IRL I would confess it to! Thank you!!
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Far and away the best thing I have ever done is to marry the love of my life more than 42 years ago. We still sit and talk for an hour most days when we get home from work, we relish the children that we raised and absolutely adore the grandchildren that we now get to spoil whenever possible. In just a few hours I will be at dinner with my son's family for a birthday dinner for his youngest. Six years old next week, but they will be in Mexico on vacation and are letting us share the date a little early.
My biggest regret is a harder answer. I seriously have nothing that keeps me awake nights wishing I had done it differently. I have been to the edge of broke and back a couple of times and now have worked harder than ever and reached a quality of life I only dreamed about when on the edge of broke, yet being there made me stronger, so, no regrets. I have some minor regrets, people I wish I had been kinder to at one time or another and pets that died, leaving me somehow less than I was before they died.
I think, all in all, that my biggest regret is that it took me so long to realize how short life is and that I will not be able to live another number of years equal to those already passed. One of my lifetime goals has been to always make someone's day better in some way than it was before I got up in the morning. A smile, a kind word, a compliment, an anonymous donation or being part of a larger effort such as the polio plus program in Rotary which is now SO CLOSE to world wide eradication of polio, which touched my life as a child as I watched friends and relatives stricken with what was once a world wide scourge. I truly regret not having done more of this and most of all not being able to be here for another hundred or two hundred years to enjoy doing some more of it.
Still, I thank you for this thread and making me think about it. All in all I have worked hard and played hard, and like most, I wish I could stay and do more of it forever and ever. Since I can not I will just continue to treasure this wonderful life and revel in my good fortune to be born before the Internet so I can appreciate better just how much I love being here in the Internet era. For those who never had to do without, you have NO IDEA how much it has expanded our horizons.
Wink
Far and away the best thing I have ever done is to marry the love of my life more than 42 years ago. We still sit and talk for an hour most days when we get home from work, we relish the children that we raised and absolutely adore the grandchildren that we now get to spoil whenever possible. In just a few hours I will be at dinner with my son's family for a birthday dinner for his youngest. Six years old next week, but they will be in Mexico on vacation and are letting us share the date a little early.
My biggest regret is a harder answer. I seriously have nothing that keeps me awake nights wishing I had done it differently. I have been to the edge of broke and back a couple of times and now have worked harder than ever and reached a quality of life I only dreamed about when on the edge of broke, yet being there made me stronger, so, no regrets. I have some minor regrets, people I wish I had been kinder to at one time or another and pets that died, leaving me somehow less than I was before they died.
I think, all in all, that my biggest regret is that it took me so long to realize how short life is and that I will not be able to live another number of years equal to those already passed. One of my lifetime goals has been to always make someone's day better in some way than it was before I got up in the morning. A smile, a kind word, a compliment, an anonymous donation or being part of a larger effort such as the polio plus program in Rotary which is now SO CLOSE to world wide eradication of polio, which touched my life as a child as I watched friends and relatives stricken with what was once a world wide scourge. I truly regret not having done more of this and most of all not being able to be here for another hundred or two hundred years to enjoy doing some more of it.
Still, I thank you for this thread and making me think about it. All in all I have worked hard and played hard, and like most, I wish I could stay and do more of it forever and ever. Since I can not I will just continue to treasure this wonderful life and revel in my good fortune to be born before the Internet so I can appreciate better just how much I love being here in the Internet era. For those who never had to do without, you have NO IDEA how much it has expanded our horizons.
Wink
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
My biggest regret is not having said "I love you" more often. This was really brought to the fore with three recent deaths... how I wish I hadn't been so careful with those three little words! As to why - I didn't grow up in a very demonstrative family, and I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, which means, among other things, that I tend to over-think things.
My biggest regret is not having said "I love you" more often. This was really brought to the fore with three recent deaths... how I wish I hadn't been so careful with those three little words! As to why - I didn't grow up in a very demonstrative family, and I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, which means, among other things, that I tend to over-think things.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Sandeek, I am so sorry you lost both parents and so close together too. Your mom and dad knew how much you truly loved them. Look at all you did for them. They knew Sandeek. They knew. (((HUGS))).
I so agree with what you wrote. The greater the love the greater the grief.
How wonderful you had such an amazing and special and close relationship with your parents and have such a close and loving relationship with your children. That is so wonderful and rare. Your kids are very lucky to have you as their mom! And I know you feel the same way about them.
And thank you for what you wrote to me. You are kind and generous and caring.
Cheryl, I am glad you have such a wonderful marriage and unconditional love in your life. I wish that for everyone. To have unconditional love and to be able to give love unconditionally too.
Wink, thank you and thank you for sharing with us.
VRBeauty, I am sorry you didn't get to say it enough to the people you loved who are now gone but I bet they knew. Saying the words are great and all but actions speak louder than words and every single day our actions speak volumes. More than words ever could. (((Hugs))).
Sandeek|1455916730|3993038 said:Missy, I am so sorry you feel such sadness over that Monday visit you rushed with your grandma. I'm sure she knew how very much you love/loved her and she would never want you beating yourself up about that one day. One day in a life of love. She understood, I promise!
My greatest regret was not realizing I would lose my parents a month apart and I stupidly spent most of that time talking to Dr.s, cleaning their home (what WAS I thinking?!), and running around trying to make arrangements for home care or treatments, ect. When dad unexpectedly passed, I so wish I had taken the remaining weeks of moms life just talking to and enjoying her. Brings tears to my eyes. I thought taking care of the 'things' were what I needed to do (alone/no siblings) when all I should've done was be with her. I was also on a quick sanity walk when mom passed, even though I was with her 24/7 at that time. What a fool I was not to recognize what was important at that time, but I was just on autopilot.
My greatest personal (not professional) accomplishment was being best 'friends' with my parents (very few people I know had that), and making a happy family for my kids who, now adults, consider me and their dad their best friends too!
Wow, I needed to unload that as I carry this guilt and have no one IRL I would confess it to! Thank you!!
Sandeek, I am so sorry you lost both parents and so close together too. Your mom and dad knew how much you truly loved them. Look at all you did for them. They knew Sandeek. They knew. (((HUGS))).
I so agree with what you wrote. The greater the love the greater the grief.
How wonderful you had such an amazing and special and close relationship with your parents and have such a close and loving relationship with your children. That is so wonderful and rare. Your kids are very lucky to have you as their mom! And I know you feel the same way about them.
And thank you for what you wrote to me. You are kind and generous and caring.
Cheryl, I am glad you have such a wonderful marriage and unconditional love in your life. I wish that for everyone. To have unconditional love and to be able to give love unconditionally too.
Wink, thank you and thank you for sharing with us.
VRBeauty, I am sorry you didn't get to say it enough to the people you loved who are now gone but I bet they knew. Saying the words are great and all but actions speak louder than words and every single day our actions speak volumes. More than words ever could. (((Hugs))).
Amber St. Clare
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Oh my goodness--there is so much cuteness in this post it ought to be illegal!
msop04|1455909608|3992995 said:missy, I am in tears over your loss of Billy. I, too, lost a cat who was very dear to me. It was sudden and unexpected. Bless you for loving him so much while he was here! Billy was beautiful and reminds me of my (soon-to-be) 16 year old kitty, Punkin, who is orange where Billy was gray. He has been with me my entire adult life. I can't imagine my life without him.
My biggest regret was being so hard on myself regarding my weight. I was always the "chubby friend" in the group. However, looking back, I wasn't chubby -- I was really thin. Oh, to go back to those days! I would've had a lot more self confidence!
The best thing I ever did (besides marrying my DH) was having a baby. I always thought it sounded cliché when I heard others make that remark, but now that she's here, I understand. I never knew I could love something/someone so much.
Here is my Punkin
...and my little *princess head*, Blaire.
Oh my goodness--there is so much cuteness in this post it ought to be illegal!
NOYFB
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Missy Thank you for your kind words as well. I am very fortunate And blessed with my children. I feel so sad reading the other thread here and my heart aches for the parents struggling with mental illness and disabilities. I myself am a special education teacher so I feel and share their pain acutely.
I think the important thing for us to emotionally acknowledge (daily) is how much those final days/visits meant to our beloved, when they needed us the most. You were visiting grandma every week!! What an amazing gift your smiling face must've been. And I'm certain she wanted you to get on with your errands that Monday! She probably insisted, "Go, Missy, I'm fine!" I am sure your grandmother welled up with love and pride every time you stepped into her day! I know my mom would've with my children had they not been away in college and me in denial.
Thank you again and I'm so glad to find that I'm not alone in the sadness/regret that I feel. I almost deleted my post earlier...I'm glad I didn't!
I'm so sorry about your kitty too, my dog (mini poodle) is getting on in years and will not be with me much longer now. My mom and dad had his brother. :'(
Beautiful little girl msop. And thus the circle of life!
Missy Thank you for your kind words as well. I am very fortunate And blessed with my children. I feel so sad reading the other thread here and my heart aches for the parents struggling with mental illness and disabilities. I myself am a special education teacher so I feel and share their pain acutely.
I think the important thing for us to emotionally acknowledge (daily) is how much those final days/visits meant to our beloved, when they needed us the most. You were visiting grandma every week!! What an amazing gift your smiling face must've been. And I'm certain she wanted you to get on with your errands that Monday! She probably insisted, "Go, Missy, I'm fine!" I am sure your grandmother welled up with love and pride every time you stepped into her day! I know my mom would've with my children had they not been away in college and me in denial.
Thank you again and I'm so glad to find that I'm not alone in the sadness/regret that I feel. I almost deleted my post earlier...I'm glad I didn't!
I'm so sorry about your kitty too, my dog (mini poodle) is getting on in years and will not be with me much longer now. My mom and dad had his brother. :'(
Beautiful little girl msop. And thus the circle of life!
ckrickett
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Biggest Regret - Not saying good bye to my grandfather (or even visiting him in the hospital) when he had cancer. I couldn't bear to see him that way, I wanted to remember him for the person I knew he was, not what the disease turned him into. I know it bothered him, and I am haunted by our last phone conversation (basically him whispering I love you). Its the only thing that can make me cry on demand.
I don't know what I would do if I could do it over again. I miss him, and I loved him dearly. But I was young (1 and I just couldn't do it. It bothers me and upsets me to this day that I couldn't step out of my own mental blocked and be there for him.
Best Thing-When my husband and I formed our own business. Its been one of the most rewarding things to start what I do from the ground up and see it grown, and see our customer love and appreciate what we create!
Biggest Regret - Not saying good bye to my grandfather (or even visiting him in the hospital) when he had cancer. I couldn't bear to see him that way, I wanted to remember him for the person I knew he was, not what the disease turned him into. I know it bothered him, and I am haunted by our last phone conversation (basically him whispering I love you). Its the only thing that can make me cry on demand.
I don't know what I would do if I could do it over again. I miss him, and I loved him dearly. But I was young (1
and I just couldn't do it. It bothers me and upsets me to this day that I couldn't step out of my own mental blocked and be there for him.Best Thing-When my husband and I formed our own business. Its been one of the most rewarding things to start what I do from the ground up and see it grown, and see our customer love and appreciate what we create!
lulu
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Billy was adorable, Missy.
My biggest regret has to do with a kitty too. I used to do rescue work and someone brought in a week old kitten whose mother had disappeared. I named him Reilly-he was a long haired grey and white tabby. I took him home and bottle fed him and became very attached to him. I taught him to do tricks like jump up in into my arms on cue. We lived on acreage and eventually I let him outside with my other cats but they only went out during the day under supervision. We went out of town and I told the house sitter it would be okay to let him out.( against DH's opposition) I really wavered about it but eventually said okay. He disappeared while we were gone. We looked for him for months-door to door, posters, the whole shebang. I was heartsick.I even dug up a dead cat someone hit on the road to see if it might be Reilly. About a year later the psychopathic teenager next door admitted that one of their doberman's killed Reilly and they didn't even have the decency to admit it. That was over 15 years ago and I still think of him with sadness.
The best thing I ever did was actually a huge lie, but a funny story. At the end of my first year of law school I had a little breakdown that was initiated by a bad breakup but also I had a family history of depression. This was in the mid 70s. I checked myself into a psych clinic and they gave me a pass everyday to take my finals. After three weeks I was no better and they refused to give me an antidepressant because it was "situational depression". My mom came to see me and told me that I had received a call from the the only place I had applied for a clerking position. I got a pass to leave the ward and called them from a payphone one floor down. The secretary asked me to come in for an interview on Monday. I have no idea where this came from but I said "an interview? Do you know how many offers I have? If you want me you'd better tell me now". She left and came back and said "okay, you'll start Monday". That moment set up my whole career. I guess I thought I had nothing to lose. I saw an outpatient doc and was prescribed an antidepressant and two weeks later I felt terrific. Sometimes you just have to brazen it out.
Sorry to be so long winded.
Billy was adorable, Missy.
My biggest regret has to do with a kitty too. I used to do rescue work and someone brought in a week old kitten whose mother had disappeared. I named him Reilly-he was a long haired grey and white tabby. I took him home and bottle fed him and became very attached to him. I taught him to do tricks like jump up in into my arms on cue. We lived on acreage and eventually I let him outside with my other cats but they only went out during the day under supervision. We went out of town and I told the house sitter it would be okay to let him out.( against DH's opposition) I really wavered about it but eventually said okay. He disappeared while we were gone. We looked for him for months-door to door, posters, the whole shebang. I was heartsick.I even dug up a dead cat someone hit on the road to see if it might be Reilly. About a year later the psychopathic teenager next door admitted that one of their doberman's killed Reilly and they didn't even have the decency to admit it. That was over 15 years ago and I still think of him with sadness.
The best thing I ever did was actually a huge lie, but a funny story. At the end of my first year of law school I had a little breakdown that was initiated by a bad breakup but also I had a family history of depression. This was in the mid 70s. I checked myself into a psych clinic and they gave me a pass everyday to take my finals. After three weeks I was no better and they refused to give me an antidepressant because it was "situational depression". My mom came to see me and told me that I had received a call from the the only place I had applied for a clerking position. I got a pass to leave the ward and called them from a payphone one floor down. The secretary asked me to come in for an interview on Monday. I have no idea where this came from but I said "an interview? Do you know how many offers I have? If you want me you'd better tell me now". She left and came back and said "okay, you'll start Monday". That moment set up my whole career. I guess I thought I had nothing to lose. I saw an outpatient doc and was prescribed an antidepressant and two weeks later I felt terrific. Sometimes you just have to brazen it out.
Sorry to be so long winded.
Gypsy
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Biggest regret: Student Loan Debt
Biest Thing; My marriage and all the time and effort and STUFF to make it work, to make it through, so far. At a time when I didn't have the confidence ro make major life choices and stick with them, I picked him, I fought my family for him and it was the first thing I ever did for myself that I could own completely. And it still is the best thing I've done.
The rescues of my cats are all tied for.second place on best thing scale.
Biggest regret: Student Loan Debt
Biest Thing; My marriage and all the time and effort and STUFF to make it work, to make it through, so far. At a time when I didn't have the confidence ro make major life choices and stick with them, I picked him, I fought my family for him and it was the first thing I ever did for myself that I could own completely. And it still is the best thing I've done.
The rescues of my cats are all tied for.second place on best thing scale.
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Re: 1.Your biggest regret in life and 2.Best thing you ever
Sandeek, no sadly my grandmother had asked me to stay and visit a bit longer that day and I was the one to cut the visit short saying I had things to do but would visit longer next Monday. That is my regret that haunts me to this day and why it is still with me because she did ask me to stay. Still I know what you wrote is true and thank you. I cannot undo what I did but I have learned from it and I know my grandmother knew I loved (and still do) her. It just breaks my heart a little that I did not stay that day when she asked me to. I know you get it and I know your parents knew how much you loved them as well even though the final moments you did not get to share with them. That is not what matters. It was the lifetime of love and sharing you had with them. (((Hugs))).
And I am also grateful you did not delete your original post here. Thank you for sharing even painful memories here. It helps us to not feel alone in how we are feeling about similar issues.
Ckrickett, I am sorry you have that regret but you are right. You were young and despite it all your grandfather knew you loved him.
SO glad you and your dh created a successful business together. What a wonderful accomplishment and I wish you much continued success.
Lil Misfit, he may not be your first dh but he will be your last! And your true love. So you got it right when it counted!
Aww lulu, I am so sorry. How awful. You could not have known and it was not your fault. Hindsight is always 20/20. If only we could go back in time. (((Hugs))).
And wow on your success story. You had the drive and intelligence and strength to make it work and I am impressed! I love that line-
Do you know how many offers I have? Let me know right now if you want me. Love that!
Thank you for your kind words re my Billy.
Queenie, yay for marrying the love of your life! Definitely one of the best moves anyone can make. Finding someone they can share life's ups and downs with and share in the joy and the sorrow. What's that saying. A life shared makes happiness doubled and sorrow halved. Something like that.
Gypsy, so happy you have a wonderful life partner and your kitties are so lucky to have you too!
It's interesting how some of us encountered obstacles along the way to our true love. Other people can really suck sometimes.
Sandeek, no sadly my grandmother had asked me to stay and visit a bit longer that day and I was the one to cut the visit short saying I had things to do but would visit longer next Monday. That is my regret that haunts me to this day and why it is still with me because she did ask me to stay. Still I know what you wrote is true and thank you. I cannot undo what I did but I have learned from it and I know my grandmother knew I loved (and still do) her. It just breaks my heart a little that I did not stay that day when she asked me to. I know you get it and I know your parents knew how much you loved them as well even though the final moments you did not get to share with them. That is not what matters. It was the lifetime of love and sharing you had with them. (((Hugs))).
And I am also grateful you did not delete your original post here. Thank you for sharing even painful memories here. It helps us to not feel alone in how we are feeling about similar issues.
Ckrickett, I am sorry you have that regret but you are right. You were young and despite it all your grandfather knew you loved him.
SO glad you and your dh created a successful business together. What a wonderful accomplishment and I wish you much continued success.
Lil Misfit, he may not be your first dh but he will be your last! And your true love. So you got it right when it counted!
Aww lulu, I am so sorry. How awful.
You could not have known and it was not your fault. Hindsight is always 20/20. If only we could go back in time. (((Hugs))).And wow on your success story. You had the drive and intelligence and strength to make it work and I am impressed! I love that line-
Do you know how many offers I have? Let me know right now if you want me. Love that!
Thank you for your kind words re my Billy.
Queenie, yay for marrying the love of your life! Definitely one of the best moves anyone can make. Finding someone they can share life's ups and downs with and share in the joy and the sorrow. What's that saying. A life shared makes happiness doubled and sorrow halved. Something like that.
Gypsy, so happy you have a wonderful life partner and your kitties are so lucky to have you too!
It's interesting how some of us encountered obstacles along the way to our true love. Other people can really suck sometimes.
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