Dreamer_D
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2007
- Messages
- 25,520
If I go based on norms, my ring does not fit at all. It is much too large.
I get that women are judged for all sorts of things in ways that men are not. But we cannot escape it. We are a stigmatized group, much as we have made inroads. The research is very clear on this. But trying to meet the dominant majority's standards of behavior has never served stigmatized groups of any persuasion. And I don't think it serves women either.
The fact that so many women seen to devote so much evergy to this issue reminds me of the concept of stereotype threat. If you are a member of a group about which there is a negative stereotype in a particular domain, then being reminded of one's group membership when attempting to perform in said domain severly undermines one's performance. It happens for women in math, blacks on the SATs, white men on athletic activities said to favour natural abilities... and on and on. The underperformance occurrs because one is so afraid of confirming the negative stereotype (e.g., women are bad at math) that the anxiety messes up performance. If women waste too much time worrying about confirming negative stereotypes, they will underperform, pure and simple. I think worrying about one's engagement ring (clothing, breast size etc etc etc) is just one of those things that can cause us to underperform. The solution? How about removing the e-ring, getting a breast reduction, wearing a muu muu? Won't help. We will be judged for something else, because we cannot erase our group membership. Instead, every time you find yourself worrying about this crap, substitue an image of a white bear
Works to overcome stereotype threat on math tests for women. And would likely work at a faculty meeting too.
Then go out and kick butt at your job and be a role model for change. It will take a few generations, but it ain't gonna happen by us trying to fit in with men's ideals and norms and standards.
I get that women are judged for all sorts of things in ways that men are not. But we cannot escape it. We are a stigmatized group, much as we have made inroads. The research is very clear on this. But trying to meet the dominant majority's standards of behavior has never served stigmatized groups of any persuasion. And I don't think it serves women either.
The fact that so many women seen to devote so much evergy to this issue reminds me of the concept of stereotype threat. If you are a member of a group about which there is a negative stereotype in a particular domain, then being reminded of one's group membership when attempting to perform in said domain severly undermines one's performance. It happens for women in math, blacks on the SATs, white men on athletic activities said to favour natural abilities... and on and on. The underperformance occurrs because one is so afraid of confirming the negative stereotype (e.g., women are bad at math) that the anxiety messes up performance. If women waste too much time worrying about confirming negative stereotypes, they will underperform, pure and simple. I think worrying about one's engagement ring (clothing, breast size etc etc etc) is just one of those things that can cause us to underperform. The solution? How about removing the e-ring, getting a breast reduction, wearing a muu muu? Won't help. We will be judged for something else, because we cannot erase our group membership. Instead, every time you find yourself worrying about this crap, substitue an image of a white bear
Works to overcome stereotype threat on math tests for women. And would likely work at a faculty meeting too.Then go out and kick butt at your job and be a role model for change. It will take a few generations, but it ain't gonna happen by us trying to fit in with men's ideals and norms and standards.
jewlery are meant to be worn 
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