Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hello to everyone. Got back from my nuclear stress test. Felt fine during the whole thing. Now just have to wait for the test results.

I mentioned earlier that I have a pacemaker. Long story short: I got it in February because my heart rate was in the mid 30s and while I was in the hospital my heart stopped several times.( I had absolutely no symptoms prior to landing in the hospital except for 1 or 2 incidences of lightheadedness.) That meant emergency implant surgery. I had no problems with my heart until just last week when I noticed that my heartrate sped up while I was just sitting (not palpitations, just rapid heartbeats that slowed down quickly). No history whatsover of heart disease in my family. I was the athlete, am slim , eat right, etc. With the pacemaker I am not on any medications whatsoever.To this day I still don't understand why this happened to me and now am wondering what else could be wrong with my heart.

It brought tears to my eyes reading about the medical problems some of you are experiencing. Especially not knowing the why's and how it happened. But what I do know from reading all the posts that we are strong and will get through everything that life dishes out.

I am not ready to call it quits just yet. I have to see my DD graduate high school, college, start her own life, etc.

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Just checking in to say hi, before taking my afternoon nap! Why don't we have our red icon that brings us to the first unread post? I'm not dead yet and I want my icon back!! I don't want to resort to sending Python videos to Ella. Who knows, maybe she is a secret fan

 

[PinkTower]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Pink Tower---- I'm in the Crohn's camp. I haven't had a flare this year though. I take Lialda, never had to use steroids.

What's up with using the quote function now. And can we highlight?

Hello, Lulu,
Yes, I recall you are a Crohnie!!!

Glad you are doing well. So am I. I take a different version of the Rx you take, but I also have to take Imuran. I was supposed to switch from Imuran to Cimzia in July, but I haven't done so, even though the doctor wants me to. I just feel like it means losing some of my independence, and I am going to fight that as long as I can.

Oh, and on the quote: sometimes that is allowed, sometimes not. At times, you will encounter a button that says quote above a post. It is hit or miss; Depends on the mood of the forum. I don't post much because it is always logging me out, which is too tedious to bother with.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi gang! Longest day in the history of the world!! I'm going to rest and then come and share some of the craziest parts with you.

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi all, just checking in. This is now my favorite thread ever. Hope everyone had a good day. My wonderful husband is taking us to a cheese and wine tasting at our favorite cheeeeeese shop. It should be fun and tasty!

Let's hear it for those wonderful men who put up with us ,eh? Mine has been so sweet to me. My favorite memory is when I was feeling crappy and had to come home from my travels to find a new blowdryer, and was all weepy and being a big baby, all he said, was "Why don't you go lie down for a bit OK?" I did, and fell asleep a bit. When I woke up, there was a new blowdryer, and a big jar of my favorite garlic-stuffed olives. I just about swooned from the sweetness of the gesture. Not classically romantic perhaps, but for him that's a declaration of undying love, and I KNEW it.

Cheers to our guys!!

 

[lulu]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, I might as well tell you my worst old age idiot moment since so many of you have shared. A couple months ago I was going through a McDonald's drive-thru while carrying on a conversation with my friend in the passenger seat. While I was looking at my friend and talking to her the lady said the amount due.Instead of driving around I started trying to push the money thru the microphone. It took 30 seconds for me to realize the error of my ways. Yes, I did it.

 

[Catmom]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hello to everyone. Got back from my nuclear stress test. Felt fine during the whole thing. Now just have to wait for the test results.

I mentioned earlier that I have a pacemaker. Long story short: I got it in February because my heart rate was in the mid 30s and while I was in the hospital my heart stopped several times.( I had absolutely no symptoms prior to landing in the hospital except for 1 or 2 incidences of lightheadedness.) That meant emergency implant surgery. I had no problems with my heart until just last week when I noticed that my heartrate sped up while I was just sitting (not palpitations, just rapid heartbeats that slowed down quickly). No history whatsover of heart disease in my family. I was the athlete, am slim , eat right, etc. With the pacemaker I am not on any medications whatsoever.To this day I still don't understand why this happened to me and now am wondering what else could be wrong with my heart.

It brought tears to my eyes reading about the medical problems some of you are experiencing. Especially not knowing the why's and how it happened. But what I do know from reading all the posts that we are strong and will get through everything that life dishes out.

I am not ready to call it quits just yet. I have to see my DD graduate high school, college, start her own life, etc.

Ah soocool, I'm so sorry about your heart issues and hope they get solved soon. [We need a huggy smilie.]They come out of the blue at you don't they? One day I was as healthy as a horse and the next thing I know I'm having a mini stroke and come to find out I have a hole in my heart that allows unfiltered blood to go to my brain. 2 years later and I have a titanium device plugging most of the hole but I still have a leak. If it gets any bigger then I have to have another device put in. I hate heart issues!

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hello to everyone. Got back from my nuclear stress test. Felt fine during the whole thing. Now just have to wait for the test results.

I mentioned earlier that I have a pacemaker. Long story short: I got it in February because my heart rate was in the mid 30s and while I was in the hospital my heart stopped several times.( I had absolutely no symptoms prior to landing in the hospital except for 1 or 2 incidences of lightheadedness.) That meant emergency implant surgery. I had no problems with my heart until just last week when I noticed that my heartrate sped up while I was just sitting (not palpitations, just rapid heartbeats that slowed down quickly). No history whatsover of heart disease in my family. I was the athlete, am slim , eat right, etc. With the pacemaker I am not on any medications whatsoever.To this day I still don't understand why this happened to me and now am wondering what else could be wrong with my heart.

It brought tears to my eyes reading about the medical problems some of you are experiencing. Especially not knowing the why's and how it happened. But what I do know from reading all the posts that we are strong and will get through everything that life dishes out.

I am not ready to call it quits just yet. I have to see my DD graduate high school, college, start her own life, etc.

Ah soocool, I'm so sorry about your heart issues and hope they get solved soon. [We need a huggy smilie.]They come out of the blue at you don't they? One day I was as healthy as a horse and the next thing I know I'm having a mini stroke and come to find out I have a hole in my heart that allows unfiltered blood to go to my brain. 2 years later and I have a titanium device plugging most of the hole but I still have a leak. If it gets any bigger then I have to have another device put in. I hate heart issues!

Catmom, HUGS TO YOU TOO!

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Nothing like 75 mph winds to get your attention. Gaaah. Right over ME. AGAIN!

Poop.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

It'll be here in just about another half an hour.

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Best wishes, soocool. I hope that all will be well. I'm having a test in the nuclear medicine dept tomorrow. Newest thing in the early detection in breast cancer. So far my mammo and exam have been fine, but the breast surgeon wants me to have this nuclear imaging done. She expects it to be fine. If so, I'll have another in 18 months. Being at high risk for breast cancer, I do what I have to do. If anyone wants more info, let me know.

I will be thinking of you, soocool, and wishing that your pacemaker ticks on for many years to come. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I want every good thing for you.

 

[AGBF]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

uppy - how much does the dental floss thing hurt?l

My Mum used to tie cotton around them and eventually they would drop off. A little less drastic than the dental floss route. Also, my doctor will freeze them and take them off. I have a couple of teeny ones that so far haven't bothered me enough to do anything about them.

I use a nail clipper on mine. Soak it in alcohol first, then hold an ice cube on the tag for a minute till it's a bit numb & CLICK, gone. Quick & only a little sting.

--- Laurie

I am truly AMAZED at the variety of do-it-yourself-ers among us! (It would never in a MILLION YEARS have occurred to me to do anything other than to see my dermatogologist!) If I am ever stuck in a Chilean mine, I want to be stuck with this group of problem solvers!!!

Deb/AGBF

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Michelle~I had no idea that you were dealing with such serious medical concerns. I just wanted to post my support and tell you that I'm thinking about you. These sorts of health problems can be life changing. I wish you the very best. [We need a heart and a hug icon!]

 

[Catmom]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Michelle~I had no idea that you were dealing with such serious medical concerns. I just wanted to post my support and tell you that I'm thinking about you. These sorts of health problems can be life changing. I wish you the very best. [We need a heart and a hug icon!]

Aww thanks Marian. You never know what's going to come at you out of the blue. The good news out of all of this is that although I have suffered from migraines my entire life since my closure procedure I haven't had any migraines. There is a growing consensus among neurologists that migraines can be caused by holes in your heart allowing unfiltered pieces to get into your eyes [floaters] and brain causing the headache.

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Re: my post on nuclear imaging for breast evaluation. It does not preclude the need for yearly mammograms. I don't want to give out inaccurate information.

 

[movie zombie]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

speaking of "floaters".....i had an emergency trip to the opthamologist last week due to classic retinal tear symptoms: sudden floater that didn't go away for several days and then with "lightening strikes" at the periphery of my eye. good news: no tear.....although my mother thinks i should see a retina specialist. i did leave with a list of symptoms to watch for [loss of a vision quadrant, lots of floaters, lots of lightening strikes]. thus far no increase in symptoms. however, this floater is driving me crazy: its like having something on your eyelash that gets in the way of your vision.....ALL THE TIME! large enough the opthamolgist could see the darn thing in there but she says it should go away in a few weeks or my brain will work around it........ i am so grateful it wasn't a tear!!!!!!

MoZo

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, survived the storm intact, if a bit damp. We needed the rain!

Went to our wine/cheese tasting. It was fun and the store presenter was just as polished and informative as she could be, although the wines were not quite as good as we'd hoped. Somewhere along the line my beer-loving husband has turned into a pretty fair wine critic. Who'da thunk?

I went to sleep at 10, slept about 5 hours and then woke up at 11:30. Yeah. Then I went back to sleep, slept another 4 hours and woke up at 1:30 - this time with a freakin' migraine. Staggered up, rummaged around blearily to find the Excedrin - couldn't find it, so I took some that was in my purse. I decide to look one more time and it had cleverly moved itself - label outward-facing - to the front of the medcine cabinet - where mere moments before, it had not been, since I had stared at that very spot and not seen it. Staggered back to bed, slept another 3 hours, and woke up at 3. So...lessee...I got at least 12 hours of sleep right? 10-3, yeah 12 hours. Why do I feel so tired??? And this is more often than not.

So Uppy, you aren't the only one up at screwy hours.

Hold a good thought for me folks to get through this day - cause it's gonna be a long one. We're off to KC tonight for a British car show and the museums. We won't leave until after work, so 5.5 hours is gonna be a bit grueling. I know I'll have fun, but dang I'm tired!

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

speaking of "floaters".....i had an emergency trip to the opthamologist last week due to classic retinal tear symptoms: sudden floater that didn't go away for several days and then with "lightening strikes" at the periphery of my eye. good news: no tear.....although my mother thinks i should see a retina specialist. i did leave with a list of symptoms to watch for [loss of a vision quadrant, lots of floaters, lots of lightening strikes]. thus far no increase in symptoms. however, this floater is driving me crazy: its like having something on your eyelash that gets in the way of your vision.....ALL THE TIME! large enough the opthamolgist could see the darn thing in there but she says it should go away in a few weeks or my brain will work around it........ i am so grateful it wasn't a tear!!!!!!

MoZo

That sounds pretty scary! I've known several people who have had floaters and tears, and they are just bizarre things. I'm glad it isn't more serious and is just annoying. I suspect we're all getting pretty good at dealing with "annoying"...

Get better!

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Re: my post on nuclear imaging for breast evaluation. It does not preclude the need for yearly mammograms. I don't want to give out inaccurate information.

Not to ignore my need for a mammogram, but I'm going to finally come out and say that I have had a THING for your ring for a long time. It's just gorgeous. If I ever get my diamond haloed, yours is one of the gorgeous-est I've seen, and will be my ispiration.

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

If I am ever stuck in a Chilean mine, I want to be stuck with this group of problem solvers!!!

Deb/AGBF

NOTHING gives me more creeps than the thought of that!! I have claustrophobia -- get the chills even in crowded elevators -- and can't IMAGINE the horror of being stuck in a mine. Or being in a mine at all. Get breathless just thinking about it. I feel so bad for those poor guys & have prayed they get out soon. Yack, I'd be brought out in a straitjacket, babbling.

--- Laurie

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Best wishes, soocool. I hope that all will be well. I'm having a test in the nuclear medicine dept tomorrow. Newest thing in the early detection in breast cancer. So far my mammo and exam have been fine, but the breast surgeon wants me to have this nuclear imaging done. She expects it to be fine. If so, I'll have another in 18 months. Being at high risk for breast cancer, I do what I have to do. If anyone wants more info, let me know.

I will be thinking of you, soocool, and wishing that your pacemaker ticks on for many years to come. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I want every good thing for you.

Marian I will saying a prayer that your nuclear imaging comes back free and clear. My sister has to go and get some magnified images of her left breast. Something about microcalcifications that are looking somewhat "powdery". I need to schedule my mammogram, but want to wait until I get the results of my stress test first. My mom died from breast cancer, but she had not had a mammogram in years and chose to ignore all her symptoms until it was just too late.

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

About sleeping through the night. Someone mentioned taking melatonin. I read something about keeping your room as dark as possible and keep lights off or at least subdued about an hour before bedtime as this is how your own body produces melatonin? I have to do some research on this. I know when I go early to bed and watch about an hour of tv before bedtime in a dark room, I fall asleep rather quickly and am less apt to wake up. When I read just before going to sleep I have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep.

If I get up during the night and try to leave the bedroom, my DH will get up and ask me a zillion questions (he's worried something is wrong other than I can't sleep) so I stay in bed, otherwise I would be here on PS. If DH gets up the dog will then get up and want to play or he will jump on top of me (the dog that is not DH) and want to sleep on my lap.

Oh now that DD is back at school I have no choice but to get up at 6am now because she is so loud getting ready for school. 'MOM, WHERE ARE MY "FILL IN THE BLANK" usually it is "where are my car keys?", "Anymore cerea?l", "I need a check for this or that". How about doing this the night before. She needs her radio alarm on full blast, otherwise she won't wake up. But as I remember my sister and I didn't have to get up until after 7 am and we walked to high school and my mom always had breakfast ready for us in the morning.

 

[vintagelover229]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Hi guys!
I know that I'm not considered an "aging" PSer, and I don't have some of the health issues yet, but I was hoping it would be okay if I hung out around here anyways? I've been around for a few years now, and time just seems to be going more and more quickly and I'm not sure where it's going. It seems like just yesterday I was softball little league and in the church plays. I know I am only 22 years old, but I've gone though a lot of thing in my life, and have always felt in my 30's, even as a young teenager. I've just recently began to understand loving ones self, learning, growing, and how to have adult discussions without getting feelings involved. But because of my past experiences, I can now apply my new found knowledge and learning skills to my past, and have learned a great deal from it. It has put my maturity level past most people my age, and it makes it even harder to relate to those my age. I don't have kids, so I can't relate to that. But my mind-set is more of living life to fullest, loving everyone, learning everything I can, and over all just trying to be a good person and to be open minded. As much as I love dress shopping and doing things in my age group, I've always gotten along with those much older than myself, and I like to learn from those who have done it before me. So I hope you don't mind if I pop in every once in a while. I don't have a grandmother here either, so if anyone wants a granddaughter much to old to be there real one, I'm up on the adoption list, lol.

I want to say it's great reading about all of this. It's a normal part of life, and to see how you ladies handle things (which, I think we have a very mature select amazing group of woman role models on here) so well, and are so grateful and just all around good people, it's hard not to want to hang out and learn. I wish we all could get together and I would love to listen to your stories and see what I can learn from you all. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you! Many of you ladies actually do inspire me (despite it being on the internet) and I want to grown and learn and not be a selfish close minded no-it all young woman. Even if that means I have to change my attitude or my mind-set. (ETA: I don't think I am one now, but outsiders can see better than you can!)

Does anyone else find it sad that when you have learned and have the knowledge when your old, that you don't get to posses that knowledge when your young? It's almost like being young and having your youth is a trade off. You get your youth, but you don't yet have an understanding of certain things yet, but yet when you get that knowledge and understanding, your older and most won't listen to you, and you may not have as much time to do anything with it, and then you have health issues, etc.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that you all are amazing and strong ladies. I hope that when I'm your age I handle it with as much grace and spunk (can you have those at the same time? lol) as you ladies do. I hope my post made since! I just woke up and I"m not sure if I articulated things correctlly!

Oh, and also, if I already have a bad memory....I'm sure I'll be sticking money in the microphone at the drive though much sooner than you did! I hope that doesn't mean that I'll be doing much more crazy things in the future...like leaving the house not fully dressed or something

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Redrose, I think the saying is "Too soon old, too late smart."

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Redrose, I personally don't mind you visiting us "oldies, but goodies" here. There are many many years of combined wisdom contributing to this thread.

I remember my sister and I shrugging our shoulders and ignoring my mom whenever she said"Wait until you're my age". Not that all she said was true, but the most of it was. I don't think she was trying to tell us how to live our lives, but was trying to give us the "heads up" on what to expect so we can be better prepared to deal with life. While my mother was sick she never complained and died with the utmost dignity. I sometimes catch myself saying to DD " Wait until you're my age" and DD told me the other day, "Don't worry mom, I won't disappoint you or dad, but much more I won't disappoint myself." Wow, I thought! DD is all grown up (she'll be 18 in December).

I don't think we who had lived more years than we have ahead of us know all the answers, it's just that we've been there and done that.

Redrose, maybe you can teach us old-timers something!

 

[AGBF]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Does anyone else find it sad that when you have learned and have the knowledge when your old, that you don't get to posses that knowledge when your young? It's almost like being young and having your youth is a trade off. You get your youth, but you don't yet have an understanding of certain things yet, but yet when you get that knowledge and understanding, your older and most won't listen to you, and you may not have as much time to do anything with it, and then you have health issues, etc.

Actually, there is a saying, "Youth is wasted on the young", that pretty well expresses what you were saying, redrose. I think you put it more clearly, however! Welcome. I am delighted you are planning to hang out here.

Deb/AGBF

 

[vintagelover229]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Does anyone else find it sad that when you have learned and have the knowledge when your old, that you don't get to posses that knowledge when your young? It's almost like being young and having your youth is a trade off. You get your youth, but you don't yet have an understanding of certain things yet, but yet when you get that knowledge and understanding, your older and most won't listen to you, and you may not have as much time to do anything with it, and then you have health issues, etc.

Actually, there is a saying, "Youth is wasted on the young", that pretty well expresses what you were saying, redrose. I think you put it more clearly, however! Welcome. I am delighted you are planning to hang out here.

Deb/AGBF

I knew there was a simplified version of what I was getting across! Three posts after mine and I feel like I've learned something already! Thanks for posting that AGBF! BTW...does your SN stand for something or are those just your favorite letters?


I agree youth is wasted on the young. My FF has a cousin who's BEAUTIFUL. She is a mix of Chilean and Dutch and has beautiful dark hair, blue eyes and that beautiful tan skin colour...but man is it going to get her into a world of trouble. I just sometimes wish our old selves could come slap our young selves and say HEY...YEAH HEY YOU! YEAH! THAT'S A BAD IDEA! NO...NO...DON'T DO IT!

I guess the hardest thing for me to deal with (even though I'm still young) is the stupid selfish motives that drove me to make unwise decisions that hurt other people at the same time. If it had just hurt me, okay, I can handle the conquenses for my choices. But when I take into consideration the outside people affected by them It pains me to no end. Thankfully my mother is very wise (years of poor decisions, she lost us kids due to drugs and alcohol abuse) and since she's been in recovery for the last 4 years she's gained this wisdom from her past mistakes that most never have. So right now I have sticky notes around the house reminding me to keep positive thoughts in, and let the past go. Two years ago I never would have called her for advice because even though I was happy she was sober, I thought she was off her rocker. Little did I know I was the one off my rocker!

Redrose, I personally don't mind you visiting us "oldies, but goodies" here. There are many many years of combined wisdom contributing to this thread.

I remember my sister and I shrugging our shoulders and ignoring my mom whenever she said"Wait until you're my age". Not that all she said was true, but the most of it was. I don't think she was trying to tell us how to live our lives, but was trying to give us the "heads up" on what to expect so we can be better prepared to deal with life. While my mother was sick she never complained and died with the utmost dignity. I sometimes catch myself saying to DD " Wait until you're my age" and DD told me the other day, "Don't worry mom, I won't disappoint you or dad, but much more I won't disappoint myself." Wow, I thought! DD is all grown up (she'll be 18 in December).

I don't think we who had lived more years than we have ahead of us know all the answers, it's just that we've been there and done that.

Redrose, maybe you can teach us old-timers something!

Wow! I wish I had that attitude at 18! It's just been in the last 6 months that I've realized...wow...I shouldn't do that because it doesn't make me happy! I know it seems like such a DUH I should know this already, but in reality...I didn't even realize it! I was what I hated, but I didn't even realize it! I wonder how many people go though life unhappy with themselves and choose not to do anything about it. I'm happy that your daughter realizes that not disappointing yourself is one of the most important things in life, and at such a young age too! As far as teaching you oldies but goodies (LOVE that btw) I hope I can contribute something back to you all. Like I said, you inspire me and if I can give back even just the smallest amount, it would be an honor!

Redrose, I think the saying is "Too soon old, too late smart."

Ksinger: Perfect! Youth is wasted on the young and the wisdom that the old try to teach isn't heard by them. Which is strange if you think about it...we are the ones that still have most of our hearing!

Thank you guys for making me feel welcome!

And uppy, if you have an extra tissue, boob pit sweat isn't just limited to the aged. Perhaps that's the next millon dollar idea. How to conquer boob sweat, LMAO! And btw...I love house dresses. I wish I could dress like I was from the 50's every day of the week! They had it right!

 

[junebug17]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Redrose, I for one would love for you to hang out with us old ladies! I think it would be great to have younger women throw in their two cents. I'm sure you can teach me a thing or two! For someone so young, I think you're very wise. And you think about things that many people in your age bracket don't even consider.

All of us are "growing older" and there are transitition periods sprinkled throughout life, all with their unique challenges and issues. I think it's great there's a safe haven here, where we can help each other muddle through!

 

[vintagelover229]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Redrose, I for one would love for you to hang out with us old ladies! I think it would be great to have younger women throw in their two cents. I'm sure you can teach me a thing or two! For someone so young, I think you're very wise. And you think about things that many people in your age bracket don't even consider.

All of us are "growing older" and there are transition periods sprinkled throughout life, all with their unique challenges and issues. I think it's great there's a safe haven here, where we can help each other muddle through!

Awww thank you. I know I have a lot to learn, but when I look back at my former self, I'm horrified! I'm glad that my eyes were able to be opened, even though the road to get mature and healthy has been rough. It's so worth it though, because I'm so happy with my life and it's worth all the pain and heartache to better yourself. I love the fact that if you don't like something about yourself, you can change it. I am not kidding when I say I had to go though and re-wire the simplest things.
For example: Someone would make a comment (usually constructive criticism, or just a general statement), and my mind would run off with about a million other things, and they weren't usually positive. My boyfriend couldn't even talk to me because of the fear that my mind would twist it and turn it and who knows do what with it! It started out simple: He would say something, and I would think...hmmm...how should I react to it.
It frustrated him at first because he didn't understand why my brain and emotions couldn't process the simplest things (and I'm not talking about intellectually, I mean emotional maturity). I had to explain to him that my brain was wired incorrectly and I didn't know how to handle things because I was never taught how. It went on for about a month that I had to think, hmmm, how should I react to this. Where does this thought need to go, etc. and re-route all the crazy things to the way they were supposed to.
I know it sounds strange, but between my boyfriend, my own intelligence (thank God for that) and God I've managed to do a 180 degree turn and now I'm a totally different person. Still have a long road, but it's a start!

I'm find it hard to talk to people my age in general. My thought process still isn't perfect, and I know I have a lot to learn, but boy am I grateful that I'm not a prisoner of my own mind and emotions. It dictated my life and my actions in a very negative way, and I'm happy to say that so far I've managed to break free of most of it, and most of them, if not all of them, can't relate. I have one gf who's my age and I've always gotten along great with her, but I've come to realize she's a very selfish person. She only wants to hang out when it's beneficial to her (meaning no one else to go out with, or do something her bf wouldn't approve of and lead me to believe we are doing something totally different, but when we get there other people are there, etc) and only wants to talk about herself. I lost a few friends just before I made some changes and I wonder if it's because I was acting in that same selfish manner. I realize now I probably was, and it makes me sad that it's my fault that I've lost some good people in my life because they didn't want a bad friend...which I was! I now have moved on and let it go, but keep in the back of my mind that good friends are hard to find and I need to be a good friend in order to have them myself.

I'm hoping with you ladies I'll be able to gather different, older, wiser insight that I don't have yet. I've learned enough things the hard way, and if I can avoid learning a lesson that way by listening to the ones who've done it before me, I will gladly read and soak everything in. And if I can help in any way, even if it's just words of encouragement and *dust* I'll do my very best with what I have! LOL!

Geeze, I feel like I'm writing a novel here! Sorry guys! It's just the first time I can really "talk" about these things with people other than my mom. I don't have any gf's up here (still in Canada) and stay home all day, so I don't really get to communicate with adults other than my SO on a daily basis. So feel free to tell me to shut it so others can talk too! I promise I won't be offended! A year ago I would have been though! We have progress LOL!

 

[Gayletmom]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

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I guess the hardest thing for me to deal with (even though I'm still young) is the stupid selfish motives that drove me to make unwise decisions that hurt other people at the same time. If it had just hurt me, okay, I can handle the conquenses for my choices. But when I take into consideration the outside people affected by them It pains me to no end. Thankfully my mother is very wise (years of poor decisions, she lost us kids due to drugs and alcohol abuse) and since she's been in recovery for the last 4 years she's gained this wisdom from her past mistakes that most never have. So right now I have sticky notes around the house reminding me to keep positive thoughts in, and let the past go. Two years ago I never would have called her for advice because even though I was happy she was sober, I thought she was off her rocker. Little did I know I was the one off my rocker!

Welcome, Redrose! We are glad to have you here. If you don't mind some unsolicited advice from someone with a few years on her, I'd like to chime in. We all make plenty of mistakes along the way and, unfortunately, other people sometimes get hurt. You are obviously doing a great job of learning from them but don't skip the part where you forgive yourself. Figure out whatever works for you to LET IT GO. You're who you are today because of your past experiences and the guilt isn't constructive. What worked for me was to ask God for forgiveness, which is always freely given. Then I realized that it would be awfully presumptuous of me not to forgive myself when the big guy had done so. And btw, my Mom-who's also a therapist-helped me through the process.