You ding someone''s car- do you leave a note? Ethical question

[asscherisme]

OK, I disagree with my huband here and am pretty disturbed at his response to something.

If you are in a parking lot and you ding the persons car next to you, to the point of removing paint, do you just walk away like it never happened or do you leave a note with a cell phone number so they can contact you?

My husband thinks its OK to damage someones car and if no one sees him, just walk away like it never happened.

I find that really disturbing and if someone did that to me I would be PISSED. What really frustrates me is that I teach my children to treat others as they want to be treated, and I just think he is wrong, wrong, wrong.

He was justifiying it, in front of our kids at breakfast this morning.

I actually had asked him a hypothetical when I read Dear Abby today that has a similar but not exact situation and it opened up a can of worms about his past behavior.

He thinks I''m over reacting but I''m upset at his ethics here.

Am I over reacting?

 

[DiamanteBlu]

"You ding someone''s car - do you leave a note?"

Yes, absolutely, no question.

 

[neatfreak]

I''m with you- of course you leave a note!

 

[Maisie]

Yes I would leave a note. Just like I would own up if I was given too much change in a shop, or like when I was in Ikea and they didn't charge me for a glass of lemonade... I realised when I was looking at the receipt. The girl thought I was mad when I returned to the till to pay for it!

 

[AmberGretchen]

As someone whose bumper is covered in horrendous marks and dings, all of which were done by people who didn''t leave notes (at least 4 separate occasions that I know of), I''m going to go with yes, especially since the quote to fix it is over $700 and I''m in graduate school, so I don''t exactly have that kind of cash lying around. I wonder if one of the horrible scratches or dings on my bumper is from your husband...

 

[FireGoddess]

I dinged someone''s car once and left a note.

Karma is not in my favor here, as my car has been severely hit in the parking lot (a gouge through the driver''s door AND the back door on one side...that was the first time, and there was a second time with a big dent, and a third time where the paint was taken off in a line on my back bumper) and none of those jerks left a note.

It is NOT okay to do that.

 

[mrssalvo]

i''d leave a note too.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Asscherisme, your husband is wrong; unfortunately, I think he''s in the majority.

 

[fansynancy]

I have always left a note. However. . . when MY car gets a ding I am left noteless

 

[HollyS]

Certainly in the past, I have, in fact, left a note.

In today''s "sue happy" culture, I would have to pause and consider. I would gladly take responsibility for my error, if only I could be sure that Mr./Ms. John Q Citizen would not use that as a method of fleecing me via the courthouse. You know -- going out and deliberately damaging their car (perhaps totaling it) and then claiming it was my fault. If you don''t have a witness to your accidental ding, how can you protect yourself? I hate to be a cynic . . . but.

And I guess I am cynical because of a problem my dad encountered last year. He was in the parking lot of a local discount chain, at a complete stop in the pedestrian walkway while people crossed, when a man in a wheelchair managed to run into his vehicle, and later claimed my dad had run into him. Then he proceeded to sue. Dad''s insurance company was forced to settle. Even when you have dozens of witnesses, and a police report, you can be sued, and you can lose.

In a perfect world, where EVERYONE is nice, not just me, I would own up to my boo-boo in a heartbeat.

 

[Cleopatra]

Yes, I''d leave a note.

My brand new car got severely scraped up 3 weeks after it was purchased...and - no note.

It really burns me up when people don''t take responsibility for their actions ...but, I hear you about the sue-happy culture we live in today.

 

[Patiently_Waiting]

I agree with many others - definitely leave a note.

 

[pennquaker09]

I would totally leave a note.

 

[Julianna]

Leave a note! It''s kind, and it keeps you level on the Wheel O'' Karma.

 

[february2003bride]

Date: 12/13/2007 12:45:56 PM
Author:asscherisme
OK, I disagree with my huband here and am pretty disturbed at his response to something.

If you are in a parking lot and you ding the persons car next to you, to the point of removing paint, do you just walk away like it never happened or do you leave a note with a cell phone number so they can contact you?

My husband thinks its OK to damage someones car and if no one sees him, just walk away like it never happened.

I find that really disturbing and if someone did that to me I would be PISSED. What really frustrates me is that I teach my children to treat others as they want to be treated, and I just think he is wrong, wrong, wrong.

He was justifiying it, in front of our kids at breakfast this morning.

I actually had asked him a hypothetical when I read Dear Abby today that has a similar but not exact situation and it opened up a can of worms about his past behavior.

He thinks I''m over reacting but I''m upset at his ethics here.

Am I over reacting?

Yes, no question, leave a note! It''s the legal, ethical and moral thing to do.

 

[Skippy123]

I agree leave a note. One time I accidentally hit a cars tail light while trying to park so I ran inside the store asking who has a red car. No one answered so I shouted again and found the owner. The owner was so nice and said don''t worry; I was in shock. He said that since I told him that meant a lot; I was in college at the time so I think he felt bad for me. I was ready to pay since it was my fault.

On the other hand I have been hit many times. One time a young boy forgot to put his car in park and it rolled into mine and he waited for me to tell me. I felt bad for him but there was lots of damage and couldn''t look the other way. Another time I got my bumper hit and no one left a note; I still think that is awful!

 

[princesss]

Absolutely you leave a note. My car is my baby, and I know I''d want somebody to own up to it.

However, I''d probably also take a picture with my cell phone to show that I hadn''t done anything else. People are a little sue-happy.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 12/13/2007 1:32:08 PM
Author: HollyS
Certainly in the past, I have, in fact, left a note.

In today''s ''sue happy'' culture, I would have to pause and consider. I would gladly take responsibility for my error, if only I could be sure that Mr./Ms. John Q Citizen would not use that as a method of fleecing me via the courthouse. You know -- going out and deliberately damaging their car (perhaps totaling it) and then claiming it was my fault. If you don''t have a witness to your accidental ding, how can you protect yourself? I hate to be a cynic . . . but.

And I guess I am cynical because of a problem my dad encountered last year. He was in the parking lot of a local discount chain, at a complete stop in the pedestrian walkway while people crossed, when a man in a wheelchair managed to run into his vehicle, and later claimed my dad had run into him. Then he proceeded to sue. Dad''s insurance company was forced to settle. Even when you have dozens of witnesses, and a police report, you can be sued, and you can lose.

In a perfect world, where EVERYONE is nice, not just me, I would own up to my boo-boo in a heartbeat.

As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with you.

My car was dinged really bad right after I bought it (like a week later) while I was at work and there wasn''t anything I could do about it. Luckily, my dad was able to fix it for the most part but I still wasn''t a happy camper.

I work in the legal business and it is easy to see how something like this could get out of control and I''m not sure I''d want to expose myself to a (credit ruining) lawsuit over a ding on a door so I shamefully would not leave a note.

If I were caught in the act by the titled owner of the car I would leave my info and offer to fix the problem without hesitation. I''m just being honest.

Since this very topic is something that I worry about when going out and about I always park far far far away in the lot away from everybody else. That way no one can ding my car and I can''t ding anyone elses either. I don''t mind the walk - I see it as good exercise.

 

[gwendolyn]

I was in that situation once, left a note, and ended up getting scammed. I just made the tiniest of tiny dents (no paint even came off!) on the side of the car, but my insurance ended up paying out to fix that AND replace the bumper which had a few dents in it that weren''t from me--I tapped the SIDE of his car! Learned my lesson on what people do when you try to do the right thing.

 

[WTNLVR]

I have never once had a note left on my car despite multiple major dents! UGH!

 

[Kaleigh]

I''d leave a note.

 

[Munchkin]

I leave a note.

I actually have some good Karma going with this topic. I once scratched the inside of a truck while pulling into a parking space in a tight parking garage. I left a note. The man called and said it wasn''t a big scratch and as he respected that I had left a note, he wouldn''t make me pay for anything.

When a similar thing happened to my car in grad school, I called the woman who left me a note and told her not to worry about it.

 

[Libster]

Leave a note, without a doubt...


Years ago I was parked in a lot of a high-rise office building, didn''t put my emergency brake on and my car rolled into the car parked in front of my space. I was in the process of writing a note and a man came out of the building and wouldn''t you know it....it was his car! I apologized and was handing him my information. He told me not to worry about it, and come to find out he was the President of a company who''s account I''d been trying to get, and that day I landed it! Have to believe my honesty played a big part.

A few years ago my car was hit in a parking lot and no one left a note. The repair cost roughly $3,000. It was not a minor ding. I still can''t believe someone could just drive away. Needless to say, I thought I was cautious before about where I parked, now I''m a paranoid freak

 

[door knob solitaire]

I never would have that problem as I never park where I can damage or anyone can damage me. I''m the nut that walks a mile to the front door. Many of you have your shopping completed by the time I make it inside.

I think you reap what you sow. Well, I should have worded that I know you do.

With digital cameras and cell phones there is no reason you can''t take a shot of the damage with your car in position. Same measure, height and color of paint can''t be imitated again. You can forward it in the case of trouble when that occurs. When the estimate includes the other side of the car, or taillight or the opposite you will have proof to cover your butt.

Just a ding can be removed or popped out for less than $50. If the person is willing to have a touchup which is just a dab of paint to cover the loss of paint...that again is cheap $6.00 for the paint. But if you chip the paint and the owner demands the car be renewed to as it was ...before you caused the damage....which inmost cases with a metallic finish paint ...that can only be achieved by painting the whole side of the car...It is his decision. He is entitled to be as he was before you were a buffoon.

So I would keep that in mind before you put yourself in the position of causing damage to another''s property.

Your hubby gets 30 days in the cooler for parenting skills...while you get to go to the head of the class.

Great job! §

PS. where does the leaving of the note begin and end. What if he destroyed someones mailbox...or flower bed ...etc? Property is property. right?

 

[somethingshiny]

I would leave a note...now.

I''m still ashamed of a time when I knocked a mirror off a vehicle with my book bag while crossing a campus parking lot. That was several years ago, and it still bothers me that I just kept walking.

I''ve never hit a car and a car''s never hit me (or my car) so I can''t say from experience, but I hope that anyone would leave note.

 

[Linda W]

Yes I would leave a note.

I had my car damaged 3 weeks ago. A very "nice" person backed into my car with his/her truck and left a huge dent, while I was grocery shopping. Did not leave a note. Needless to say, I was pissed.

Linda

 

[sumbride]

Definitely leave a note. I'm in the process of dealing with the insurance ramifications of a hit and run accident (my car wasn't parked!) and am fortunate that we got the driver's license plate. That still doesn't mean his insurance will pay though, so it's a big nightmare right now and I wish him many many bad things. I almost wish I'd been injured so I could get him arrested for a felony. almost.

Anyway, my car has a gazillion dings from living in the city and no notes.... but with my last car, somebody left me a note one time and I was so impressed that they left a note (and I couldn't see the damage they talked about) that I didn't call. That really does happen most of the time, I think.

 

[gwendolyn]

All of you who say you will leave a note, make sure that you cover your own rear and take all kinds of photos, like DKS said, otherwise you may end up getting taken advantage of like I was.

 

[crystalheart1]

My son''s car ( who is an 18 year old college student ) was parked in front of our house. Someone backed out of their
driveway ( I really think I know who it was) and dented his rear end. He can not drive it since the car shakes so bad
He has no money to repair it , and our insurance is just for liability... Should we go to the door of the only person that it can be ? This happended before with them with my other son''s car and they did own up to it. We never had his car repaired since it was minor. I thought I would ask very nice if they saw anything ???
.

Sorry to thread jack....

 

[zoebartlett]

I''ve never been in that situation, but if I accidently hit a car, I''d leave a note.