Yikes

[elrohwen]

I don''t have a question of anything, I just had to share this with people who understand (because FI''s playing a video game and not listening to what I''m saying

haha)

My mom just emailed me and said that, considering we don''t want any actual gifts, she and my dad think we should just ask people for money to offset the cost of the wedding and reception

Yikes. I''ve even told her that we''re doing a honeymoon registry, but that didn''t seem to register with her.

Anyone else''s parents suggest something crazy like this? I mean, I''m glad they''re trying to help, but I feel bad for shooting down ideas like this and sometimes wish they wouldn''t try to come up with stuff at all. Most of their ideas have been things I absolutely don''t want to do and it''s getting hard to keep telling them no because I don''t want them to think I''m ungrateful (especially since they contributed money towards the wedding).

Ok, end rant.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Ahhhh!!

No, can''t let her ask people that. I know she''s just trying to help you spread the word, but try to find a different way to do it. I''d just tell her something like: "Hmmmm...that''s a good idea, but since we are doing a honeymoon registry let''s just spread the word on that."

 

[elrohwen]

Yeah, I hope nobody has asked her about gifts yet because I would be mortified if she said "They''d just like money."

I need to make sure she understands the honeymoon registry so she can explain it to people and send them there. Luckily most of the people we invited are friends, so they won''t be asking her for info anyway, they''ll be asking us or the wedding party.

 

[Gypsy]

My parents told people where we were registered, but also told everyone that "the family" was getting us cash as that''s we could use the most.

It was the best way to say it, I thought.

 

[honey22]

If you are not comfortable with your Mum asking that of people, then explain to your Mum that you both don''t feel comfortable asking for cash, or her asking for cash on your behalf, and could she please let people know about your honeymoon registry if anyone asks for gift ideas.

 

[glueck]

Ditto.
I am sure the cost factor can be overwhelming to parents, but hopefully she can understand that your guests shouldnt pay for your wedding. My family is very dollars and cents too. I understand your dilemma. How many times have I heard "Save your bucks!" when I want to buy a stinkin'' Starbucks! I am 32 for crying out loud!


If she really understands the honeymoon registry, she might understand that your costs ARE being offset in a sort of way. That you are like minded in "offsetting costs" but you handled it THIS way. You can tell her she made a good suggestion by having your guests offset your costs. We all know its NOT the same thing, but for this situation, I would make the comparison for HER sake and say "Thanks. Good idea! I love offsetting my costs!"

Does that make sense?

By the way, I am ALL OVER the honeymoon registry. I just set my up 3 days ago. What a good idea it is! I much rather see the world than collect more stuff that i dont need in my apartment!

Good luck with Mom.