Yet another invitation etiquette wording/suggestions

[miraclesrule]

I am supposed to give my opinion on my daughters invitation samples. I''m not thrilled with them, but I don''t really have any helpful suggestions. Technically, I am paying for most of the wedding, but FI''s Mom and Stepdad are contributing money too. It would be awful to include their names without including his Father, but technically, I''m not sure he is paying for anything. If we start naming everyone who is contributing, such as my Mom and Stepdad who are paying for the flowers, we are going to have a laundry list of "So and so" requests the honor of your blah, blah, blah.

I really like the look of the invites where it is just the bride and groom requesting the guests presence, but then again, I do think it would be nice to get some billing on this madness I have had to go through.

But I am ready to tell her just to nix all of us, instead of the drama of possibly offending or hurting anyones feelings.

Your thoughts?

 

[surfgirl]

The traditional version is just the bride's parent(s) so you can just go traditional and do that.

Or you can simply say "Together with their parents...so and so request the honor of your presence blah blah blah...."

Or you can just do the bride and groom requesting the guest's presence and no mention of parents.

If it's your daughter's idea to include you and the mother/step father and not the father, assuming the FI has a relationship with his father, that's not right, IMO and one of the above solutions is much kinder and more appropriate.

 

[doodle]

i''m in the same boat because my wedding is being paid for my me and my FI, my mother, my father and stepmother, and my FI''s mother and stepfather, and his father is deceased. we''re going with "together with their families..." because it includes EVERYONE contributing without hurting anyone''s feelings or having an invitation that''s eleven inches long just to fit all the names on it!

 

[miraclesrule]

See, this is why I love you girls. You have solved my problems. I will suggest that my daughter tell her FI to not call his Mom and see if she would be alright leaving her husbands name off and putting FI''s father''s name instead. It''s likely to incur drama. It''s so crazy.

I like the "Together with their families..."

Otherwise it would have been a book instead of an invitation... or just my name which would be fine by me in reality, but made me nervous because I didn''t want anyone resenting me. Who knew people got really sensitive about these things? I never knew. It just isn''t worth it the drama to me.

:::

ff to tell the bride, problem solved:::::

 

[miraclesrule]

Or I could be a smartaleck (SP) and suggest she use "Together with our families, MOB requests..."
I''m just humoring myself now...lol

 

[doodle]

well, if you''re gonna go that route, you COULD just print the invite wording over a picture of yourself wearing a shirt that says "i rock more!" what? that''s subtle!

 

[miraclesrule]

rofl...at least in the $$$ department I do. Now, I if I could just find my MOB dress, I can check that off the list and we will be nearly ready...until she changes her mind about something for the umpteenth time<-----Oh gawd, I sound like my mother.

Oh well, I am taking a four week "vacation" to finish my remodel after the wedding so that I can have the sanity that comes with the pleasure of soaking in my bathtub. It''s the absence of this ability that is adding to the stress.

 

[miraclesrule]

My daughters response....

"I like together with their/our families…but you are giving so much…I wanted everyone to rek-a-nize!! Lolooooll."

Word....

 

[doodle]

as long as she be rek-a-nizin'' (sorry--my ghetto slang is subpar; i grew up in the "my dog got hit by a tractor while my mama was pickin'' her teeth" region of the country) don''t worry about the invites. and hey, you can always do a mother daughter first dance, hehe

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/5/2008 1:59:44 AM
Author: doodle
(sorry--my ghetto slang is subpar; i grew up in the ''my dog got hit by a tractor while my mama was pickin'' her teeth'' region of the country)hehe

Doodle--HILARIOUS description of your region!

Miracles--I think it''s very kind of you to share the billing on your daughter''s invite. I did want to add that technically, it''s traditional for the bride''s parent/s to host the wedding regardless of who is paying for it. Miss Manners says something funny about cash not purchasing you hosting rights. SO, you could go with the traditional "Mrs. Miracles Rule requests the honour of your presence/the pleasure of your company . . . " wording, as it would be absolutely proper.

I just love reading your posts, Miracles, you do rock! Your daughter is very lucky to have you.

 

[mimzy]

i agree that you should stick with "together with their families/parents".

we just went through this and even though i would have liked to have put my parents names on it, we would of had to include my FI''s parents too and that''s six people being named, and it just looked cluttered and redundant. there''s a chance that even if you went the ''traditional'' route and put your name on it anyways that your daughter''s FI''s parents will be hurt. i think leaving the parent''s names off is more modern anyhow, so unless your goal is to host a super traditional wedding it''s likely the best option.

i agree with whoever said that as long as your daughter recognizes how much you are contributing than that is all that matters!