Yet ANOTHER friend engaged

[KissyKissy]

It''s hard this time of year because more and more people get engaged around the holidays and leave us "LIW" in the dust. UGH. Like other posts I''ve read, I am happy for these people, but it''s impossible not to be jealous. Every day it gets harder and harder for me to be patient. Anyone else becoming obsessed with engagement thoughts? I know the time will come and I''ll be able to calm down, but for now, AHHHHHHHHH!

 

[snuga]

I can definitely see how it becomes harder during the holidays. Even reading on PS that so many people are getting engaged can be difficult. I''m so happy for them and wouldn''t ever wish them not to be, but it is definitely frustrating. None of my friends have gotten engaged so far this holiday season, but you just have to hold on and realize that your day will come!!

 

[ellewoods]

I''m sorry you''re feeling annoyed Kissy....HUGS! Today I''m feeling fine about things (too busy and stressed with upcoming exams to think about engagement at the moment)....but hey, today is a good day. Ha ha.

Who knows how I will feel tomorrow. Hopefully I don''t see a engagement on TV or hear about a friend/acquaintence''s new engagement...

I''m sure I''ll be here through the holidays as a LIW, so even if every one of your friends gets engaged this holiday season, and every other LIW on Price Scope gets engaged too, don''t worry, I''ll still be here.

 

[anchor31]

*hugs Kissy*

Yes, it''s hard to see people around get engaged. My bestfriend might be getting engaged sooner than I am and they are both younger and have known each other and been dating for a shorter time than my SO and I, and I can''t help feeling jealous.

But I tell myself that my turn is coming soon! By January 1st 2007, I will be engaged!!!

 

[caligal]

Hang in there Kissy- we ALL have felt this at one point or another! Whenever I start to feel like that I plan a really great date or something romantic with my fella- then I''ll also see something about hurricane Katrina or another tradgedy and I''ll snap out of it.

Anchor, Elle, and Kali- I''ll be here for the holidays too! Anchor I was so thrilled you got a timeline! Mine is hopefully early this summer- I''ve put a time of October in my mind so in case he takes a while to get the ring I''ll give him some leinancy!

 

[MissAva]

Kissy, I am sorry you are feeling left behind. While getting engaged/married/firstchild...can feel like a race it really is not one. Hopefully things will calm down for you soon. You love each other and in the long run that is what counts.
Everyone has a lot going on this time of year, in school or at work it is crazy!

Perhaps focusing on what super spiffy and fanastic gifts you are getting him for Xmas, or he you would lift your spirits a bit!

 

[Caribou]

*sigh* Why can't these people wait for us to catch up!!!!! I totally know how you feel Kissy. All my friends are married and are now on to their next phase in life (babies). They need to just wait for me to catch you!!!!

Seriously though, I am happy for them...just with I were there.

*looking underneath the blankets and pillows* Where's my ring!!!!!!!!

 

[MissAva]

Date: 11/29/2005 11:57:51 AM
Author: Caribou

*sigh* Why can''t these people wait for us to catch up!!!!! I totally know how you feel Kissy. All my friends are married and are now on to their next phase in life (babies). They need to just wait for me to catch you!!!!

Seriously though, I am happy for them...just with I were there.

*looking underneath the blankets and pillows* Where''s my ring!!!!!!!!

ROFL!!! That would definately be me...Its here, it is mine, GIVE IT TO ME!!!!

 

[Evie75]

Hello, I understand where all of you are coming from! i feel the same... X-mas this year is depressing me.. especially since I KNOW that im def. not getting a ring for x-mas. My wonderful BF informed me.... at first i was thinking oh yeah he is totallly throwing me off.. but now i realized im really not getting one... I just hope im not going to be too dissapointed after we all exchanged gifts... its going to be hard but i have to try..

So il just wait.. ive givien up on wondering when he''ll do it... i know he is going to do it... but i cant drive myself nuts anymore....

 

[squarediamondlove]

Well I''v just read up on you and yes I can see why your down, 5 years is a long time. How old were you when you guys start dating?

I think the fact that he doesn''t really want to talk about the engagment may be a HINT that he has something in the works and he wants it to be surprise. When I was in your shoes, I was convinced that there will be no engagement any time soon b/c he would get all upset when we talked about the engagement and the ring. It started to make me feel defenseive and think that he may not be very interested for a while. We used to talk about it freely all the time, but then for the next year or so, nothing! Little did I know is that he was trying to avoid the issue b/c he wanted it to be a complete surprise and didn''t want to reveal any info by accident. And so it was, I thought it was surreal when it happend b/c nothing made sense to me. One day he didn''t want to talk about it b/c whats the point it aint going to happen any time soon and the next there is the ring.

My point is that you never know when it will happen so try and (I know this is hard to do and easy to say

) but try not to think too much about it. It will drive you MAD trying to predict when it will happen!

And look at the brite side, your bf can check out his competition, the other rings your fiends got form their bfs,

and will probably try to out do them or compare with them, so it may not be such a bad thing! In my case after seeing my engagement ring (2ct) and her other close friend (3ct), her boyfriend uped the budget form $10,000 to 20,000. So if she had gotten engaged before us, it would probably have been below a $10,000 and her dreams of having a 2ct. may not have been possible.

So, cheer up!

 

[ammayernyc]

Two people who were at Thanksgiving announced they were engaged. So my bf asks me, ''so, how many weddings do we have next year? How many couples do we know that could get married next year?'' I told him that we have four for sure, but all I was thinking in my head was ''and what about us??? Are we going to get married next year??? I told you I wanted to be married next year??? Are you even thinking about it???'' Of course, that all stayed quietly tucked away.

 

[KissyKissy]

Kaleidescopic-

We were 18/19 (college freshman) when we met. We''re now 23/24.

 

[SeattleSparkle]

Me too KissyKissy! Same ages and everything but he was a sophomore and I was a freshman. I''m hanging in there. I''m thinking of it this way: we''ve been together for a long time - he knows me better than anyone, so when a proposal does come it really will be perfect.

 

[squarediamondlove]

Date: 12/3/2005 12:42:26 AM
Author: KissyKissy
Kaleidescopic-


We were 18/19 (college freshman) when we met. We''re now 23/24.

Hang in there KissyKissy, he''ll come around.

He is at that age when guys just START to wonder or think about marriage, eventhough you and most women generally have been wondering this like 2 years ago.

 

[anchor31]

My SO is turning 24 next week. He''s been hinting at proposing for a year, telling me he was going to marry me even longer than that, and he''s going to propose in 2006. They need a little time, I guess!

 

[sunkist]

Yes, anchor31, I second that. Guys are on a totally different timeline than us girls. We''ve also been together since we were 18 & 19 freshmen in college. Now my BF just turned 25 and I think he''ll propose summer 2006. I guess I''m starting to see it more from his eyes now though. As much as I''d like him to propose now and get married tomorrow, we have eachother now and forever and it''s best for us to wait untill school is over and we''re both graduated. I respect him and his reasons for not getting married right now. So that''s how I stay sane!

 

[monarch64]

Shoot, AmandaPanda, I''d be more concerned with what I was going to be wearing to these 4 weddings you''re committed to! LOL! I had 6 to go to last spring, and many of the same people we knew attended them, so I had to come up with a different dress (I know, it''s stupid) for almost all of them! You''ve just got to practice your "game face" and remember that he''s in love with you and you too, will soon be engaged and married.

To all other LIW: personally, I wish I''d not been in such a rush and really enjoyed the anticipation rather than stressed out about it, which I did. (The engagement, or proposal, I mean.) When I look back now, it all went way too quickly, and I regret not taking more time to stop and smell the roses.

Hmmm. That being said, what about this for a "get your butt in gear" motivator: what if LIW''s were a little more laid back about engagements? I mean, what would happen if your BF, who up until now has been feeling a little pressure to get engaged, suddenly didn''t feel that pressure because you were like, "well, we''ve got plenty of time...you just keep saving for that ring I want and I''ll go about my own business in the meantime." In my experience, the more I lay off a subject, the more my now husband is like, oh we can do that now! Thoughts, questions, comments?

 

[sunkist]

Ooooo, sounds like the LIW should start a little experiment here!! Anyone up to trying this one out? I dont'' know though, what if it backfires

hahaha

 

[anchor31]

I''m definitely a lot more relaxed about this since I found PS last September. And now that he gave me his timeline, I''m definitely stting back and enjoying the ride. I''m really excited, and all I do now is send him a few pics, links and quotes of what I want for my ring, and since I know exactly what I want, it''s not very complicated.

 

[caligal]

Monarch- I think this is a great idea! I''m hoping it works for me as this is my strategy, esp. since his timeline is late spring/early summer for the proposal. I continue to do things just for me, and have a lot of fun in the meantime! When the moments of bringing up engagement happen- I come to PS!

 

[AmberWaves]

It''s funny, because this is what I''ve "kinda" been doing since I''ve been a LIW, instead of a lurker in SMTR.

And I''ve found that because I''ve shown less interest (as far as he knows..

) and less pressure, Paul seems to want to talk about it more, and joke about it. In all honesty, because I''m here, I''ve actually found it so much easier to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Although I did slip yesterday while in the car, telling him about "The girls at PS" and about so many of us want these rings with a ton of glitz all around the bands, and how that''s THEIR dreams, but mine has always been a solitaire, and the fanfare is going to be so different between showing my little WG solitaire, as in contrast to a completely original diamond covered ring. I meant it as an interesting thing, not a comparison, but he got angry and said, "well, some guys can afford that, but I''m just a P.E. teacher." And because he got mad about that (and that wasn''t even what I was saying!!!), I got mad at HIM because he didn''t even know that''s not what I meant! Hello? Does he really think I care about that? And I told him that I don''t even care about how much he can pay or can''t! It doesn''t matter to me. I said that the solitaire has always been my dream, no matter what size. I think he understood, but what the hell?

 

[SoonIHope]

Ohh, sorry Amber!! I totally know what you mean though...sometimes they just twist ANYTHING that comes out of your mouth into some bad weird pressure-inducing threat. When it''s like ummm, I just said, "I''m excited!" in a happy way without saying it need to happen sooner or anything like that.... But hopefully your boyfriend figured out what you meant in the end!

On a not too related note...I was complaining yesterday when I found a $78 tank top that was really cute but still, you know, a TANK TOP. And my boyfriend got all serious saying he wanted to be able to provide me with anything I wanted and it was really sweet, but I was like uhhh, I don''t think I''m ever going to want to spend $78 on a tank top no matter how much money we have, b/c that''s just silly. I think he thought I was just trying to take the pressure off him to make a lot of money or whatever, but seriously, I just have no interest in that.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 12/5/2005 2:11:49 PM
Author: albicocca
Ohh, sorry Amber!! I totally know what you mean though...sometimes they just twist ANYTHING that comes out of your mouth into some bad weird pressure-inducing threat. When it''s like ummm, I just said, ''I''m excited!'' in a happy way without saying it need to happen sooner or anything like that.... But hopefully your boyfriend figured out what you meant in the end!

WORD!!! When we had that Christmas holiday conversation before my SO told me his timeframe, I told him I didn''t know how many years I could still visit both my parents'' families for the holidays and I really wanted to go this year because we weren''t engaged yet, and he asked: "Does that mean you''d have wanted us to be engaged after one year, or what?"

Er... no... That''s not what I said!! So I did a bit more explaining and asked for his trameframe, and now we understand each other. I promised him I''ll spent either Christmas OR New Year''s with his family next year IF we are engaged. He told me he''ll hold me to my promise, so I think it''s safe to say he''ll propose BEFORE Christmas. I really think our anniversary in August will be P-day. I can''t wait!!

 

[AmberWaves]

It''s so funny how worked up Paul can get about this kind of stuff. I spend a lot of time looking at other people''s rings, and he sees me and says, "You want something like that, huh?" Even though it''s the complete opposite of what I''d want. He seems to think that the more glitz and glamour a ring has, the more I''d want it. If I really wanted a life full of shiny things, tons of money, and expensive trips, wouldn''t I be looking for a better job? And come on, what''s cuter than watching your boyfriend teach 6 year olds how to catch a ball? He never seems to remember, I haven''t settled for him, I chose him. After dating back in 97/98, I treated him really crappily (yes, I made that up

) and broke up with him (on his birthday! I''m such a bitch!!

) but after dating a bunch of guys who had so much and bought me so much crap, I realized- What the hell am I doing? Paul''s the one I''m supposed to be with! And searched for him for years. So I wanted him with everything involved. I LIKE staying home during the week. I LIKE watching him create a life for our video game family (SIMS). I love this about our life. He just forgets that, and thinks that I''m settling. Fool.

 

[Evie75]

x-mas is so depressing......

 

[AmberWaves]

Evie, I partially agree with you (I love to give presents, even though what I will be receiving is not what I really want), but what''s up? Something happen?

 

[anchor31]

What''s wrong, Evie?

 

[Evie75]

Ahhh nothing is really wrong.. I LOOOVE giviing presents its great!..... just this year is kind of poopy for me.. specially since i KNOW im not getting what i really want.... (a ring) for christmas, I mean i know he is going to give me one.. sometime after, but i just cant help it!

Ba Humbug