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WWYD? (What would you do?)

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,232
This situation was resolved while my partner and I (watching from a higher floor of the discount hotel we're staying at) discussed what, if anything, to do. But it raised an interesting moral question, I think.

So, a youngish couple get out of an old van that's loaded down with lots and lots of disorganized stuff and more stuff tied poorly on top of the van.

The guy throws lots and lots of stuff out onto the parking lot. The girl gets out and waves her arms around, they are fighting. They are both rummaging through all the stuff like they are looking for something.

There may have been a brief shoving match or some such, obscured partly from our nosey view. Or it could have just been that they were facing each other and both going through things, we couldn't say for sure either way. Then the guy picks something up and smashes one of the van's windows with it. He may have just been chucking things back into the van and done it accidentally, though. He was obviously angry but we still couldn't tell if he meant to smash the window or not.

The hotel manager comes out and then the guy cleans up the glass with an article of clothing.

The manager goes back in. Back and forth the couple go, towards the hotel lobby, back to arguing, rummaging through their stuff, sitting in the van. At first we thought maybe they were searching for a drug fix because the search seemed so frantic and they threw so much stuff right out onto the parking lot (they also looked pretty thin like addicts often do, but there again, maybe not). But as it went on, we thought they had probably really lost their money and were looking for it so they could get a room, I assumed.

Then the guy gets out with a gas can, stands there covering his eyes, maybe crying. Ugh. We were torn between helping them out and just staying away from them, because it doesn't seem the brightest idea to approach strangers who are acting crazy. We just couldn't tell if they were just at the end of their rope or, er, lunatics (who might also be staying right by us if we offered them any money).

While we discussed, someone else gave the guy some money. The guy walked away (to the gas station, I assume). He came back and filled the tank and they drove away.

But, what would you have done?
 
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kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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28,865
I I thought the woman was in danger, I'd move somewhere where they can't see me and call 911.

If not, I'd ignore it all.
 
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1ofakind

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Aug 22, 2012
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1,119
Following....#alsonosey

For your original question...If alone I would not approach such a situation but I would ask the manager if he knew if the couple needed help and then decide. I most likely would not give cash but go to the gas station and fill the gas can to bring back to them.
 

redwood66

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 22, 2012
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7,183
If there isn't a physical altercation then I would mind my own business unless directly asked something by them.

Edit - if I saw the manager was already involved I would let them handle their business as they see fit.
 

Karl_K

Super_Ideal_Rock
Trade
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Aug 4, 2008
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10,301
nothing unless the lady was being hurt.
 

Volute

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 5, 2020
Messages
75
Agh, I know that on a gut level, your description certainly makes me anxious. I hope you’re ok, and I hope they’re ok!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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38,509
I don't know. Until I am in that situation I can only guess what I would do. Sometimes I surprise myself. Generally I would say stay out of it unless someone is getting hurt and then I would call 911 and create a commotion to stop the violence from continuing.

But, if I saw that someone was crying I just might have gone down there to see if I could somehow help even if it would just be to get them food and shelter for the night. IDK. Like I said I can surpise myself so while on an intellectual level that might not be the wisest action to take I might have done just that. It pains me to see others suffering and if I could have done something and felt it was safe to do so (and only if I was there would I know if it was safe because I would listen to my gut) I might have intervened.

But if violence was occurring I would have called 911 immediately and created some type of diversion to do what I could to stop the violence.

I hope they are OK and you too.
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,232
Oh, I'm fine, thanks. It was just confusing. Before someone else stepped in, I couldn't make up my mind if I/we should just keep watching to see if we'd need to call the police, try to see if she was okay, just mind my own business, go offer them a few bucks, or whatever. I definitely get what you mean about the head vs. the heart.

It appears they are sleeping in their van in the parking lot, possibly living in it. I wonder if we'll be seeing a lot more of this kind of thing with so many people out of work. :(
 
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dk168

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 7, 2013
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6,574
Late to the party ....

I would probably ring the reception desk to inform the hotel management that something is going on in their parking lot, so that they can take the appropriate actions.

DK :))
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,232
The saga continues. The van was gone this morning but then returned once again. And now an ambulance just pulled up and a medic is talking to the man, outside their van.

I like the suggestion to use an intermediary such as hotel staff if they seem to need some type of assistance or intervention again.

As the saying goes, "There but for the grace of God, go I."

(I'm not even religious but it still somehow applies). :)
 

JPie

Ideal_Rock
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I would continue to mind my own business unless there was obviously a need for assistance.
 

Arcadian

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 17, 2008
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Call the police. Arguments can escalate quickly. I would not intervene (because I wear a weapon, its best that I never put myself in a situation where I'd have to use it or, it could be taken away from me by force) Unless there was some immediate danger, I would not personally intervene.

There were only a couple of times in my life where I did and it was a good thing to do so, an overwhelming instinct guided me to do so in those instances. In others, I let law enforcement do their job.
 

smitcompton

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 11, 2006
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2,679
Hi.

It appears to me that they lost or misplaced something of value, whether money or something they could use in place of money. It seems they ere blaming each other for the lost item. Obviously they were also out of gas and needed the money for hat. I think they are sleeping in their van but maybe don't have enough money to get to their destination. I don't think they want a hotel room.

My niece and her boyfriend took a trip through the US in a van, and sleep in hotel parking lots for safety. The couple you see have their belongings with them. I would feel sorry for them. They didn't hurt the man who gave them gas money. I would inquire, even from the manger, what their story is. The most I would give them might be 100.00. Thats a figure I like. Or pay for a meal. Or do nothing.

I have a very disturbing problem that I am trying to sort out. Its much closer to home, but awful.
c
These people don't seem dangerous to me.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Aug 14, 2009
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20,938
I'm nosy too, I just clicked Watch on this thread 8)

I trust my other half's opinion more than mine in situations like this. I've been known to pay for others' groceries when they were having trouble getting payments to go through (and watch them then wheel their carts out to vehicles much nicer than mine), pay for others' animals' meds at the vet when they declined treatment or opted for cheaper options (and only then realize who the designer purse on the chair out in the waiting room belongs to). I probably have helped a few people who genuinely needed it, but I've also been suckered enough that I don't trust my judgment!
 

GliderPoss

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 25, 2008
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2,561
I would definitely use intermediary to intervene if you felt someone's welfare was at risk.
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,232
Yep, I agree that an intermediary is a great idea, thanks. No reason not to be cautious.

Well, they're back again. Or he is anyway. I couldn't tell who, if either of them, went in the ambulance earlier today.

It was rainy today and the guy put an umbrella up to cover the broken window, which I thought was kind of clever.

Gee, I'm starting to feel like they're part of the family haha. I'm a bit friendly with one of the desk clerks. Maybe I'll ask her what's up if she's here tomorrow.
 
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