Wouldja say something?

[hlmr]

I would hope I'd have the guts to say - your little girl is not a whore, and neither are you. (eta: hopefully this would get the mother to think for a minute about what she is saying to her daughter, by making it personal to her).

I have no doubt the mother has been called that name many times, over her years, if she is saying that to a little girl.

Very sad.

 

[Kaleigh]

I was thinking about this today. If we saw here hitting her, or using physical force, many would report it... If she's yelling at her kid in public to a 3 year old that she's a whore... How is that ok??

I know it's not, but can't wrap my head around what that little girl must be hearing every day at home.. If she was as bold to say that in Public, no filter, imagine the filth that gets spewed on this sweet little girl..

I changed my mind, if I saw it, I would report it. I wouldn't confront her, as that would go way the wrong way. But if other's were as upset about this as I was, I would get them to make a report as well....


Not sure it would help, but ya have to do something.....

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I hope that mother doesn't really know what the word "whore" means because if she meant to call her daughter a prostitute, she has serious mental health issues. I wouldn't be so alarmed (just disgusted) if she had used a term like bastard, bitch, or *******. Even a lesser word like slut would indicate the crazy because associating a sexual slur with a child is illogical. Anyways, aside from the debate of saying anything or not, I just hope that woman has a limited vocabulary and was using "whore" to mean "brat"

 

[risingsun]

IMHO you will damage the child more by embarrassing the child's mother in front of the child than by doing nothing.

That's my opinion.

I disagree. Let's assume the child is routinely verbally abused at home and in public. If everyone who witnesses the abuse says nothing and turns their head, the child will grow up believing it's normal and acceptable, or that she somehow deserves it, etc. But if people are vocal, the child will learn that her experience is not ok, her mother's behavior is wrong, and that there are people in the world who will advocate for her and who she can turn to for help.

I agree with you. I was trying to make the same point. Someone (adult) has to intervene at some point, theoretically speaking. We don't know anything about this child, but there are things you can say that get a point across to the mother without involving the child. Also agree that I've lost some of my fear of speaking up over the years.

I agree, lyra. I'm missing a few filters these days, too. I don't know if I could have remained silent. If this is the way that mother behaves in public, I have no doubt that the child is being verbally abused, and possibly worse, at home.

 

[doodle]

Personally, I would've turned around, smiled, and said something complimentary to the little girl. Maybe it'd be the only nice thing she heard all day, maybe it'd make her calm down enough that the mother would see some value in speaking kindly to her child, or maybe it'd have no real effect whatsoever. Who knows? I just know it would've been my immediate reaction to want to temper the mother's words with something positive.

 

[Indylady]

Wow, Doodle, I really like the way you think.

 

[Haven]

Personally, I would've turned around, smiled, and said something complimentary to the little girl. Maybe it'd be the only nice thing she heard all day, maybe it'd make her calm down enough that the mother would see some value in speaking kindly to her child, or maybe it'd have no real effect whatsoever. Who knows? I just know it would've been my immediate reaction to want to temper the mother's words with something positive.

Yes, this is what I would do.

I've heard parents say horrible things to some of the children in my gifted classes, and I always make sure to do what doodle described in response. (I've also reported some parents, but that's a different story.)

I think there's a big difference between intervening and exacerbating a situation. Some of the posters who said they would feel compelled to intervene provided possible comments that, to my mind, would only make the girl's situation worse. If you get the mother even more upset by confronting her and challenging her parenting style, for example, she is even more likely to leave the mall and continue to be verbally abusive to her daughter.

Regardless, what a horrible situation and a horrible thing to call a child. Or anyone. I, too, thought that perhaps you just misheard her call her daughter a "horror" but that's probably my mind just trying to make the situation a teensy bit better to take. So sad.