Wouldja say something?

[Indylady]

I was going up an escalator next to a woman and a little girl. The little girl is squirming/horsing around. Mom (I'm assuming it was her mom, though I don't know really know) goes, "Stop being a whore!..........you think you're grown, you're only 3!" I was so shocked; the little girl didn't seem upset, and I doubt she understands what those words mean except that they mean she's in trouble. Would you have said something? All I could do was stare. I wish I had said something, but I have no idea what I'd say. What would you do? Would you have done anything?

 

[Tuckins1]

No I wouldn't have said anything. Someone like that would not take your "constructive criticism" well, and probably would have just made more of a scene and used a lot more profanity around the kid....

 

[elrohwen]

I agree with Tuckins - my mouth would've fallen open and I would've stared and shook my head, but I wouldn't have said anything. What would it accomplish?

 

[Nashville]

I have kind of a big mouth, and probably would have said something only to instantly regret it. I can't stand people who are so inappropriate and cruel to children.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I don't think I would have said anything since it would not have helped. But boy oh boy, I am sad for that little girl

 

[packrat]

Classy. I feel bad for the little girl being in an environment like that.

 

[lyra]

I definitely would have blurted something in return. I don't know what, but I would have somehow attracted attention probably too. I am not too shy about things like that. That is absolutely shocking to me though. Wow.

 

[Kaleigh]

No I wouldn't say anything, but sure as heck would make sure the Mom saw my displeasure... Doesn't do much, but that's all I would be able to do. I don't think it's proper to have it out with the Mom while she has her little girl with her.. And no, wouldn't likely get through to her even if I did...That mind set is set in stone. Sad but true.

My heart breaks for the little girl. God what she has to look forward to??

 

[Anastasia]

I think something may have popped out of my mouth before I thought about it. Unfortunately, however, with someone like that, I can't imagine that a stranger's comment in a mall would make any difference in the long run. How sad for the little girl.

 

[Indylady]

It was really, really, really sad for me. I just wished I could have taken her home with me.

 

[yennyfire]

Bless her heart (the little girl obviously). One can only hope that this woman isn't worse in private than she is in public. I have to go and hug my children now...picturing that scene brought tears to my eyes.

 

[Imdanny]

IMHO you will damage the child more by embarrassing the child's mother in front of the child than by doing nothing.

That's my opinion.

 

[Kaleigh]

IMHO you will damage the child more by embarrassing the child's mother in front of the child than by doing nothing.

That's my opinion.

I agree. This is one of those things, you just have to bite you lip?? I dunno....

Now had she hurt the child with physical force?? Big difference.. But verbal attacks aren't cool either...

 

[Shoopy]

I was raised in a really bad neighborhood so I saw things like this all the time. I still do in this neighborhood and it makes my blood boil. I always used to go off which would make FI upset so now I just mutter "way to brake the cycle" while moving on. Ugh so disgusting

 

[lyra]

IMHO you will damage the child more by embarrassing the child's mother in front of the child than by doing nothing.

That's my opinion.

I agree completely. However, at almost 50, I've lost a few filters and a bit of volume control. I wouldn't get into a verbal fight with someone, but they'd know how I felt. I might just say "Seriously??". The child wouldn't understand that, but the mother would. If I was too angry for speech, which happens often, I'd give my best deathglare. Point would be taken, to no avail perhaps, but sheesh, at some point someone needs to be on the girl's side and stand up for her or let her know what's not okay. Poor girl.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I'd give the mom the stink eye for sure but I probably wouldn't say anything to her.

That poor little girl though....

 

[Indylady]

IMHO you will damage the child more by embarrassing the child's mother in front of the child than by doing nothing.

That's my opinion.

I agree. This is one of those things, you just have to bite you lip?? I dunno....

Now had she hurt the child with physical force?? Big difference.. But verbal attacks aren't cool either...

There wasn't any force. The mom was aggressive, but wasn't physical. It just made me feel so..helpless.

 

[Laila619]

No, but I sure would be horrified!

 

[April20]

I wouldn't say anything but only because it wouldn't accomplish a thing other than perhaps solicit a few more inappropriate, choice words from the mother. I find it completely horrifying that she would talk to a child in that way. I can only imagine the damage that will be done to her over time.

 

[somethingshiny]

are you sure she wasn't saying "horror?" I've misunderstood some people when they say it.

If she was really calling her daughter that, I would most definitely say something. I'd assume that's the least of the verbal abuse the child receives if the mother thinks that's a good one for public use.

 

[Autumnovember]

I was going up an escalator next to a woman and a little girl. The little girl is squirming/horsing around. Mom (I'm assuming it was her mom, though I don't know really know) goes, "Stop being a whore!..........you think you're grown, you're only 3!" I was so shocked; the little girl didn't seem upset, and I doubt she understands what those words mean except that they mean she's in trouble. Would you have said something? All I could do was stare. I wish I had said something, but I have no idea what I'd say. What would you do? Would you have done anything?

woaaah. I probably would have *wanted* to say something but I doubt I would have uttered even a word. It's not really my business to comment on someones parenting skills...I could only see the situation escalating from there

 

[Mara]

are you sure she wasn't saying "horror?" I've misunderstood some people when they say it.

If she was really calling her daughter that, I would most definitely say something. I'd assume that's the least of the verbal abuse the child receives if the mother thinks that's a good one for public use.

This was my thought too, maybe you misheard what she said. Because seriously I can't believe that a Mom would say that to her 3yo daughter! But if you did not mishear, just wow.

 

[Indylady]

Nope.

It was the w-word. I wish it was "horror"! I understand your thoughts entirely..its such an odd way to show your anger at a little kid.

 

[zoebartlett]

I agree with Tuckins - my mouth would've fallen open and I would've stared and shook my head, but I wouldn't have said anything. What would it accomplish?

I'd react the same way.

 

[ksinger]

Nothing you can say really, not that would help. Something like that just hammers home for me that procreating is merely a sign of life, not necessarily intelligent life. That woman would have done everyone a favor had she chosen NOT to have that child, who will likely say the same things one day to her children, which she will probably have with as little apparent thought as her mother.

 

[steph72276]

I probably would have said something to the effect of "what an awful way to speak to a child", but really what good does that do? If she freely speaks this way to her child in a public place, she obviously doesn't feel it's anything to be embarrassed about and a comment from a stranger isn't going to change anything. I think it's so very sad that children can come out of the gate with such a bad example in life...I hope she finds some good female role models in her life, because her mother is certainly not going to be one

 

[Circe]

I wouldn't say anything under those circumstances, for all the reasons people have already mentioned here ... but if I knew her a little more than as a stranger on an elevator, oh, yes, indeed. Hopefully some friend, family member, or coworker will do her the favor of explaining verbal abuse and its consequences before the little girl gets big enough to understand what she's hearing.

 

[ericad]

I probably would have said something before getting my brain-mouth filter up. Something really mature like, "Takes one to know one, loser." Or perhaps something more heartfelt, like, "Wow, the crappiness of your parenting is nothing short of amazing. You don't deserve that beautiful little girl."

I used to be a conflict avoider and would let stuff like that slide without remark. But lately I find myself speaking up a lot more. So I would have probably thrown caution to the wind and said something in the hopes of embarrassing her into treating her child better, but more than likely would have wound up getting my butt kicked (I'm a lover, not a fighter).

 

[ericad]

IMHO you will damage the child more by embarrassing the child's mother in front of the child than by doing nothing.

That's my opinion.

I disagree. Let's assume the child is routinely verbally abused at home and in public. If everyone who witnesses the abuse says nothing and turns their head, the child will grow up believing it's normal and acceptable, or that she somehow deserves it, etc. But if people are vocal, the child will learn that her experience is not ok, her mother's behavior is wrong, and that there are people in the world who will advocate for her and who she can turn to for help.

 

[lyra]

IMHO you will damage the child more by embarrassing the child's mother in front of the child than by doing nothing.

That's my opinion.

I disagree. Let's assume the child is routinely verbally abused at home and in public. If everyone who witnesses the abuse says nothing and turns their head, the child will grow up believing it's normal and acceptable, or that she somehow deserves it, etc. But if people are vocal, the child will learn that her experience is not ok, her mother's behavior is wrong, and that there are people in the world who will advocate for her and who she can turn to for help.

I agree with you. I was trying to make the same point. Someone (adult) has to intervene at some point, theoretically speaking. We don't know anything about this child, but there are things you can say that get a point across to the mother without involving the child. Also agree that I've lost some of my fear of speaking up over the years.