would you...

[mrssalvo]

I would go probably keep the name b/c we have kids, unless I remarried. Probably b/c my parents are divorced and my mom re-married and took a different last name so she and I didn''t have the same last name for very long and it was normal to me. my hubby''s ex kept his last name even once she remarried and it drove me nuts during the first year of my marriage. they had 2 kids though and the youngest didn''t want her to change, so she didn''t. I had to just let it go and accept it for what it is and will myself to be confident that he loved me and i was the true mrs.s...a few years later his ex did end up taking her 2nd husbands name and I was thrilled

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 1/29/2009 2:12:03 PM
Author: cbs102

Date: 1/29/2009 2:09:56 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I LOVE my maiden name. It is cool and sounds amazing with my first name. It is also really uncommon. It was totally hard for me to let go (which is why I dropped my middle instead). Now there is nothing wrong with my married name. It is long and people TOTALLY have trouble spelling it (which I don''t get) but I do love having the same last name as my DH and child. So for me it was worth it to change my name. If we got a divorce I would keep it just b/c we do have a child. If we got divorce BEFORE she came along I would go back.

tacori,

i just want to say that your daughter is so flipping cute- i can;t stand it.!

Awww...thank you. That means a lot

 

[cbs102]

Date: 1/29/2009 2:15:04 PM
Author: Circe

Date: 1/29/2009 2:02:10 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/29/2009 12:35:46 PM

Author: coatimundi

Date: 1/29/2009 12:14:59 PM

Author: monarch64

Yes, ''god forbid'' any of us should ever get a divorce. I''m going through one right now and am sick and tired of the stigma that goes along with the ''d'' word.

(((hugs Monnie)))


yes, and another poster is going through a divorce right now.


In answer to the question--I have kept my name to begin with--never took hubby''s name. So, if I ever was to divorce, no change.

Ditto. He fell in love with ME and when I married him, neither of us thought I needed to change my name for tradition''s sake.

Thritto.

That said, on your particular issue ... is his last name all that uncommon? Because, with most last names, it''s not just that there''s another Mrs. ... say, Jones, out there. There are probably thousands of Mrs. Jones! And each and every one of them is unique.

I and my parents are literally the only people in this country with my last name. It''s one of the reasons that I was adamant about keeping it: I''m the last of the line. My husband is the only person in this country with his last name. If it wasn''t for that, I think we might have amalgamated our names (example: Circe + Odysseus = ... Curious? Or something similarly euphonious). If your FI objects to changing his last name to yours (why, btw?) perhaps you could come up with a new last name that would be yours alone? I''ve always rather liked that idea ....

i am not actually sure why he would not take my name, but i thinkt hat it has to do with me... i don''t have any attachment to my name at all. my mom divorced my father and he had nothing to do with my sister and i. when my mom remarried, he adopted my sister and i and we took his last name. my mom divorced him and took her maiden name back. i have always been really excited about taking my husbands name.. it seemed so intimate to me. his last name is not very common. we also live in the same SMALL pa town.

all in all it does not really matter. i know that i am just sensitive to the situation. but beleive me, i would not mind in the least if she would drop his last name and move on!

 

[Rhea]

This is not a problem that I personally will need to worry about.

I think it does change things when children are involved. I could see why a divorced woman would choose to keep her married name if she has children with that name, has been married for a very long time (I doubt my mother would change back at this point even though she didn''t want to give up her birth name to begin with), or has been known by that name in a professional capacity. Or heck, she may just want to keep it.

I don''t think I ever would keep it but I haven''t been in that situation.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I think I am going to keep my last name because I have my degree and have started building my reputation already (Although I have seen many women in my profession do it and are just fine). I think the bigger issue for me is that I worked hard for my degree and using my last name gives credit to my family who gave me so much support. It also honors my mother who has a PhD and had the same last name.

I would like to take on my future husbands name in non-work situations. My mother did that and it worked fine. A lot of women have told me they didn''t do it because they had different last names than their children. I don''t want to drop my middle name because there is a long family tradition behind it, so I am not sure how I am going to work it.

If for some reason I divorced, I would go back to my maiden name since I will be using it for a big part of my life anyways.

 

[coda72]

Well I am divorced and remarried, and I changed my name back to my maiden name when I got divorced. When I remarried, I took my husband''s name. It was a hassle changing my name 3 times, but my husband''s name is so much easier to pronounce and spell, that I took the easy way out and changed it to his name.

 

[sevens one]

So I''m talking with my girlfriend today (who''s been divorced for several years now) and she tells me that she''s
heading to the courthouse tomorrow to change her name back to her maiden name.
I told her how strange it was because of this thread today that started.
So ofcourse I asked her why and her response was that it had become a hassle dealing with
her ex and still being linked to him.
She also had been dating a guy and thought they would have been married by now but
that doesn''t appear to be working either. It seems that this is her way of proclaiming her independence.

She did mention that she waited until her four daughters with the ex were older before changing her name.

 

[Elmorton]

Hypothetically speaking, I think I''d probably change it back, though it would be a major hassle, since my legal middle name is my maiden...I don''t think I''d take back my old middle name, I''d probably just not have a middle initial anymore. Anyway, my reasoning is that just like my new last name symbolized a new part of my life, changing it back would represent a new life after a divorce.

Also, my MIL kept her name because after her divorce she asked her kids (my DH, the oldest, was 11) and they said they wanted her to keep it the same. She regrets that she did - it didn''t lessen the pain for her or the kids and just serves to be confusing.