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Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issue?

jaysonsmom

jaysonsmom

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 13, 2004
Messages
4,907
I have had several co-workers past and present that have had personal hygiene issues that I avoided telling them, but as I'm getting older I feel more amd more compelled to say something.....here are some examples of the things I'm talking about:

1) Good-looking guy with earwax coming out of both ears.
2) One coworker with really bad smokers breath and body odor. I literally hold my breath when he is within 5 ft of me
3) One lady that hardly ever washes her hair, not only to I have to see the stringy lank hair, I can smell it.
4) One person who has strong feminine odor (for lack of a better description). I feel like throwing up whenever she is near me.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Grimace...

I'd probably leave it up to HR...
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I have a good friend that has the. Worst. Breathe. I. Have. Ever. Smelled. To be fair, I'm convinced that it's some sort of problem/issue and not simply bad hygiene. Some people have said that if we are good friends, then I should feel ok saying something to her abut it, but I don't. How do you do that without hurting someone's feelings? I guess that I jut don't feel like it's my job to tell someone how to perform their personal grooming habits.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

If HR won't do it, I'd be tempted to leave anonymous notes. I don't see those as being appropriate in a workplace (although ear wax is the least concerning).
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I'd lean towards not telling them. Maybe if they were a close friend and I knew it wasn't medical (maybe parents never taught them?) then maybe. I'd probably mention it not in a "Hey, you really smell bad" sort of way but more along the lines of "I found the greatest thing at the store the other day! I tried it and loved it so much I just wanted to tell others how great it is!"

There are lots of health things that can cause stuff like you're describing. If it is a health thing, the person is probably VERY aware of it and is doing the best they can.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Are you sure that you're not especially sensitive to smells?
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I am sensitive to smells, but the ear wax and the unwashed hair is something that is visible. Plus others have mentioned the same problems....
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Did you talk to someone in the HR department about it yet?
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

That's a tough one.

I'd also just inform HR since it is their job to make the workplace acceptable.

Another idea is to anonymously leave a bar of soap, tooth paste and floss, earwax remover, deodorant, shampoo for him/her to discover on his/her chair.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Maybe a friendly "just because" (or thank you etc) gift basket with bath goodies or nail pampering stuff or whatever an individual is in need of?
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

If it's a good friend then definitely yes I would gently tell them so they do not have to go through time like that and embarrass themselves in front of colleagues and acquaintances. If it is medical they would want to know so they can get help and I would want them to know for their good health. If it is just a colleague who is not a friend it becomes a lot tougher a choice. If it is just poor hygiene I would probably avoid them as best I could because I get nauseous easily. However if I thought it a medical condition I might find a way to try to tell them.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I like the "anonymous" note idea! one of these offenders is a close friend :)
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

But how would you feel if someone left you an anonymous note saying they didn't care for your perfume, or some other personal hygiene issue? If it were me, I would be very hurt and I would be wondering who did it, which would lead me to become a little paranoid. Seriously, what are you going to do, leave a note on a woman's desk that says "sorry but I can smell your vagina and I think you might have an infection."?

I would let HR deal with it. And that HR person is going to have a lot of work to do when he/she sees your list.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Don't know about you, but an anonymous note would make me feel AWFUL. I'd much rather have someone gently suggest breath mints or scented feminine products.

An unsigned note or "gift" on my desk would have me looking at everyone, wondering how much they talked me over & feeling miserably embarrassed. People with these problems aren't aware of them (or they would fix them).

If I felt funny saying something, then would ask HR to handle it. They probably know how to do it.

--- Laurie
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I had a coworker who smelled terrible! It did not matter what day, or occasion it was, she always had body odor and greasy hair. We all tried giving her shampoo, perfumes, etc. but still no change. This went to HR, got embarrassed and scalded then she transferred to another facility where she's doing great [clean] I hear.
If I were the stinky one, I would want to be told as gently as possible. I would really prefer to hear it from another coworker rather than management. :(sad
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Point taken Monarch, JewelFreak & Saoirse2. As I mentioned 2 of them were from previous jobs, so they don't bother me. Of the other 2, one is a good friend, and I will find a way to tell her in the nicest way possible....the other, I'm not close to, and I'll just continue to hold my breath haha.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

monarch64|1397686628|3654628 said:
But how would you feel if someone left you an anonymous note saying they didn't care for your perfume, or some other personal hygiene issue? If it were me, I would be very hurt and I would be wondering who did it, which would lead me to become a little paranoid.
Click to expand...

If there was no just cause the note would be mean.
But the person deserved the note because they were being offensive.

Hygiene so poor that it offends everyone else is not diversity we should respect as if it were a genetic characteristic.
We don't work cause we want to.
We work because we need the money.
It's the responsibility of management to ensure the work environment meets certain minimum standards.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

JewelFreak|1397687285|3654636 said:
Don't know about you, but an anonymous note would make me feel AWFUL. I'd much rather have someone gently suggest breath mints or scented feminine products.

An unsigned note or "gift" on my desk would have me looking at everyone, wondering how much they talked me over & feeling miserably embarrassed. People with these problems aren't aware of them (or they would fix them).

If I felt funny saying something, then would ask HR to handle it. They probably know how to do it.

--- Laurie
Click to expand...

It doesn't matter how it was delivered - if someone told me (in person or in a note) that I needed a scented feminine product, I'd probably run home, hide, and never leave my house again :shock: Also, not to derail this thread, but scented feminine products would likely make matters worse (spraying chemicals on your V is a recipe for disaster).
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I am guessing the bad breath comes from rotten teeth or gums which are infected.

Feminine hygiene issues are also related to an infection of some kind.

Products that mask the odor probably won't help much. HR could encourage annual medical and dental exams. But does anyone care if it doesn't directly affect them? I don't think the "subtle" hints do anything but embarrass. Back in the old days we had "health" class in school which covered person hygiene care. How do people live with dirty hair and smelly bodies these days?

I think it's HR's responsibility since they hired the person and have the needed resources. (i.e. medical attention)
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

swingirl|1397693971|3654711 said:
I am guessing the bad breath comes from rotten teeth or gums which are infected.
Click to expand...


I think this is usually true and due to periodontal disease, which I believe the vast majority of Americans have since daily flossing is far from universal.

I know one person who had horrid projectile-bad-breath.
It would hit you from across the room.
His bad breath went away shortly after he got full dentures.
I can only assume the gums heal and seal up so the 30 holes that were swarming with gunk are gone.

IIRC my dentist once told me there are medical conditions that can cause bad breath but it's a different smell.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Bad breath can be caused by any number of things. I know that in the case of my friend, her teeth look lovely and her personal grooming habits are otherwise above normal (so I suspect the same of her oral hygiene). I think that it's something out of her control, but sometimes, I wonder if she knows? There have been times when I've literally had to back away because the smell was so bad...
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

You wont believe me, but this is too gross for me to get into.
I will say that I am constantly amazed to find people in sales who smoke cigarettes and drink coffee with cream! How ever do they make a sale? Just last week I saw a sales person at a high end boutique of toddler clothes smoking in front of the store. At the day's end the sidewalk in front of the store was littered with her butts.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I'm always shocked at how many people who don't know what a tongue scraper is. Every. Single. One. Of my ex-partners have never known what it was, and I had to teach them.

I use one every day or two, sometimes more often if I had dairy products. And yet, I still feel like my mouth "stinks" sometimes after a nap or something, when it gets dry.

*shudders.






I have the balls to tell the person I'm going to bed with about their hygiene, but I don't have the balls to tell others. I'd report it to HR if it's really that big of a problem, and let them handle it.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

momhappy said:
It doesn't matter how it was delivered - if someone told me (in person or in a note) that I needed a scented feminine product, I'd probably run home, hide, and never leave my house again :shock: Also, not to derail this thread, but scented feminine products would likely make matters worse (spraying chemicals on your V is a recipe for disaster).
Click to expand...

Of course it would mortify you -- but would you rather NOT know? I was thinking a hint like that should make someone consider showering daily, which is usually the problem in that case. It could come up as part of the (short) conversation. Sure as heck is better than an anonymous note. Bad breath from dental disease can be dealt with too -- at least the person knows to try to minimize its effect on others while they are getting treatment.

"What kind of cowardly sleazy wimps are these people?" Is that I would think of any anonymous "hint." Obviously not worried about MY embarrassment because they "told" me with a bottle of shampoo on my desk -- thinking only of their own embarrassment. It sounds cruel imho. If it's too hard, understandably, HR must be equipped to handle these sorts of things.

--- Laurie
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

^To be honest, if I had "odors" down there - I think I'd rather find out from an anonymous note. Having someone tell you something like that face-to-face is just too awkward for words.

Also, (in response to the topic by Madelise) I don't think that a tongue scraper is the norm for most people - am I wrong? I don't use one (never have) I think it's sort of gross. I brush my teeth and take care of my mouth, but I don't feel the need to scrape my tongue and it's not something that my dentist has ever recommended to me either (I'm guessing that if it was that beneficial, then my dentist would be telling me about it).
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

momhappy|1397737428|3654904 said:
^To be honest, if I had "odors" down there - I think I'd rather find out from an anonymous note. Having someone tell you something like that face-to-face is just too awkward for words.

Also, (in response to the topic by Madelise) I don't think that a tongue scraper is the norm for most people - am I wrong? I don't use one (never have) I think it's sort of gross. I brush my teeth and take care of my mouth, but I don't feel the need to scrape my tongue and it's not something that my dentist has ever recommended to me either (I'm guessing that if it was that beneficial, then my dentist would be telling me about it).
Click to expand...

I don't use a tongue scraper, either, but I brush my tongue whenever I brush my teeth. I don't know how common that is, though. Probably more common than using a tongue scraper.

I had a boss that smelled like rotten crotch really bad one time. So gross. I didn't tell her because I was trying not to breathe and couldn't think of anything tactful to say. Plus, she was my boss. Small office, so no HR department.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

JewelFreak|1397687285|3654636 said:
Don't know about you, but an anonymous note would make me feel AWFUL. I'd much rather have someone gently suggest breath mints or scented feminine products.

An unsigned note or "gift" on my desk would have me looking at everyone, wondering how much they talked me over & feeling miserably embarrassed. People with these problems aren't aware of them (or they would fix them).

If I felt funny saying something, then would ask HR to handle it. They probably know how to do it.

--- Laurie
Click to expand...



I so agree. That'd be the worst.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

Tongue scraping is important.
The top of the tongue is like a sponge and fills up with slimy sticky plaque.
It IS quite disgusting when you remove it … which is even MORE reason to not ignore it.

I brush/floss/scrape my tongue twice daily.
My dentist also taught me to use my tooth brush backwards to remove plaque from the inside of the cheeks.
Plaque is plaque.

I won't post gross pics (the grossness is proof enough that we all need to clean our tongues at least daily) but click on this educational link about bad breath and scroll to the bottom.
http://www.geoffbelldds.com/blog/2011/12/do-i-have-bad-breathe/
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I think some people are unaware that they stink and some don't care. I'm a very non-confrontational person so I've always just tried to stay away from the offensive person if it's a co-worker. If it's a friend, I tell them nicely that they might want to *fill in the blank". (try a breath mint, switch deoderants) I'd want to know if I smelled bad so I could remedy the situation.
 
Re: Would you tell someone they have a personal hygiene issu

I have a huge fear of being the stinky girl. Just like I have a huge fear of having a stinky house. If someone comes to my house and knows I have cats before they see them, I would go crazy. If someone knew...I don't know, something gross, like if someone knew I had my period b/c I was not clean...I would just be completely mortified. But I would want to know, so I could take steps to remedy the situation. I don't know a *nice* way to receive that information tho. It's completely embarrassing, no matter who says it or how it's said.

So...yeah I have no advice, just ramblings, sorry.
 
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