Would you rather be the one who loves more or is loved more

[Jambalaya]

Re: Would you rather be the one who loves more or is loved m

The one who is more loved.

Having done it the other way round in every. single. relationship (even in my marriage where he seemed to love more in the early years but still ended up walking out on me) I know that pain like a longlost enemy. No thank you very much again! Now it's time to experience the guilt of being the one who's loved more!

 

[JessicaVibes91]

Re: Would you rather be the one who loves more or is loved m

There are just so many broken hearts, loving more than being loved simply does not make sense anymore. Unless it's your first relationship, it simply does not happen.

 

[missy]

Re: Would you rather be the one who loves more or is loved m

The one who is more loved.

Having done it the other way round in every. single. relationship (even in my marriage where he seemed to love more in the early years but still ended up walking out on me) I know that pain like a longlost enemy. No thank you very much again! Now it's time to experience the guilt of being the one who's loved more!

And you deserve that Jambalaya! Sending you lots of good wishes for meeting a good guy!

I'm going with the minority here. I would rather love more. I don't think I could handle the guilt that I feel would come along with my spouse loving me more than I love them.

This is of course assuming I am indeed shown love and respect. If that's not the case, I'm out altogether.

Precisely and exactly this for me, too. Thanks for putting what I was thinking into such a perfectly concise statement, puppmom!

It seems the percentage of those wanting to experience the feeling of loving the other more is getting higher. Slowly but yes it is a decent proportion as of now. It will never be in the majority for sure but still a good percentage of us do want that (if one has to choose one or the other).


Alybetter , could you explain what you meant? I didn't understand what you wrote. Thanks.

LLJsmom,I think that is perfect. One complements the other. Yin and yang. If both partners were the same there might be a deficit in the relationship of who does what and what gets accomplished. (And if you both wanted lots of bling it might be a problem ). I think we are attracted to those who fill a void we need if that makes sense. Subconsciously but nonetheless that seems the hallmark of successful relationships. Just a generalization of course.

 

[Jambalaya]

Re: Would you rather be the one who loves more or is loved m

Thanks for the good wishes, Missy! But honestly, I think I'd rather be on my own, on balance. Relationships are so much work, and so very many couples don't make it. As I've gotten older, I've seen many couples split who I'd never dreamed would - really good couples, not people who you never thought were meant to be together. What's also been interesting is where I've had lifelong friends who I know really well, and so I know they are wonderful loyal, caring, witty, entertaining women, and their husbands have grown bored with them, had affairs, walked out on them. That has been scary to watch. I do also know a couple of women who have treated their husbands that way, but so often, it seems the man grows bored with his partner no matter how wonderful she is. I honestly like the lack of drama in my life.

 

[missy]

Re: Would you rather be the one who loves more or is loved m

Thanks for the good wishes, Missy! But honestly, I think I'd rather be on my own, on balance. Relationships are so much work, and so very many couples don't make it. As I've gotten older, I've seen many couples split who I'd never dreamed would - really good couples, not people who you never thought were meant to be together. What's also been interesting is where I've had lifelong friends who I know really well, and so I know they are wonderful loyal, caring, witty, entertaining women, and their husbands have grown bored with them, had affairs, walked out on them. That has been scary to watch. I do also know a couple of women who have treated their husbands that way, but so often, it seems the man grows bored with his partner no matter how wonderful she is. I honestly like the lack of drama in my life.

I hear you Jambalaya and I want for you what you want for you!
I am right with you on wanting and needing a drama free life!