would you be upset if your parents didn''t split up their fortunes...

[princesss]

Date: 9/15/2009 8:19:35 PM
Author: Mara
i''d be upset if my parents didn''t spend all their money having fun and enjoying themselves, rather than leaving it to us! we should be able to take care of ourselves... in theory.

Yup! My parents worked hard for what they''ve got, and I hope they spend it all and have a blast while they''re retired.

And whatever''s left over...well, logically, I understand that it''s their money and they can do whatever they want with it. But emotionally...I think I''d be a little hurt. It''d be hard to feel like another sibling was valued more or less than I was. I think of us as equal. (This would be negated, though, if one of us ended up having to take care of our parents more than the others - like if my parents were ill and ended up living with my sister, it would make sense that she got more of any inheritance.)

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I''m with Mara and have often told my parents that if they leave me a dime, I''ll be mad at them for not spending it on themselves since THEY are the ones who deserve it.

I have an aunt who is waiting for my grandma to die like a vulture. My grandma isn''t wealthy, but owned a dairy farm, worked extraordinarily hard and saved every penny she could. I''d rather see her buried in a diamond casket than leave money to a greedy child with a bad sense of entitlement.

 

[PrettyBlues]

Mara I agree with you.

My Mom just passed away in May, and she had inherited (maybe 5-6 years ago? there was a long legal battle that I won't get into) money - not a fortune though- from her Father's estate. Knowing my Mom, she was too nervous to really touch this money in case something happened to my Dad and she liked having it as a form of security.

When she passed away, my Dad told my sister and I we were to get this money, split 50/50. At first we were upset that he wasn't keeping it, but that had already been decided between our parents. But then, my sister and I were so sad that she hadn't spent any of the money on herself. All of the wonderful things she could have done, trips she could have taken... it was very hard to take that money, and I really do wish she had been able to spend it rather than give it to us.

 

[upgrade]

I come from a big complicated blended family... on my mom''s side there really won''t be much to inherit- their plan is to have fun with it and I think that''s great. Whatever is left will be split evenly amongst the assorted kids.

My dad and his wife have kept their finances fairly seperate. His percentage of communal property will be divided between my 1 biological sibling and me. Her share will go to her child. Odd and complicated, but we''ll work it all out. I think it would be easier to just divide everything 3 ways (and that would result in less going to me) but they don''t want it that way.

I think with blended families, heirlooms and personal items should stay within the family of origin, other "stuff" can be distributed evenly. I would be hurt if one of my step siblings inherited my mother''s jewelry, just as I would never dream of keeping my step mother''s jewelry- that belongs with her offspring.

My husband''s parents (still married) will spilt everything evenly between their children and are really working towards making sure there''s something to inherit. His grandparents really sacrificed to leave an inheritance to their children and while I think it was very kind of them, their children would have preferred to see them enjoy their hard work themselves.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 9/16/2009 3:02:49 PM
Author: PrettyBlues
Mara I agree with you.

My Mom just passed away in May, and she had inherited (maybe 5-6 years ago? there was a long legal battle that I won''t get into) money - not a fortune though- from her Father''s estate. Knowing my Mom, she was too nervous to really touch this money in case something happened to my Dad and she liked having it as a form of security.

When she passed away, my Dad told my sister and I we were to get this money, split 50/50. At first we were upset that he wasn''t keeping it, but that had already been decided between our parents. But then, my sister and I were so sad that she hadn''t spent any of the money on herself. All of the wonderful things she could have done, trips she could have taken... it was very hard to take that money, and I really do wish she had been able to spend it rather than give it to us.

You should take your dad on some nice trips! I''m sure he''d love to travel with his girls!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 9/15/2009 9:00:15 PM
Author: jstarfireb
I wouldn''t say there''s a ''fortune'' to inherit. But I have one brother, and I would be pretty upset if it all went to him! On the other hand, I have a job and he doesn''t, so it would be reasonable to give him a little more.

maybe you should consider quitting your job.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 9/15/2009 8:26:07 PM
Author: Lynnie
I think it should be fair, as in all kids getting an equal amount. Unless one of the kids has a gambling/drug addiction, and the $ would knowingly support the ''addiction''. hehe I''ve been watching too much Intervention.

It''s different in the Chinese culture, yes... but those girls know that from the start, right? What happens if there''re no sons? Do the daughters split it? Enlighten me!

Yes, I''d be miffed, too, if one of my parents left me less (not that there''s a whole lot to begin with).

lucky Lynnie.

 

[jet2ks]

What fortune????

Date: 9/15/2009 8:19:35 PM
Author: Mara
i''d be upset if my parents didn''t spend all their money having fun and enjoying themselves, rather than leaving it to us! we should be able to take care of ourselves... in theory.

Yep, I just hope they leave enough to pay for the funeral expenses.

 

[Black Jade]

Father died almost 10 years ago, so the family money went to my mother who has made it very clear that everything is going to my youngest brother and nothing to the rest of us.
I used to be provoked about this, but life is short and I''d rather be on good terms with my family. My mother has her reasons and once we got talking about it, it was clear that it''s not because she doesn''t love me or loves him more. I think that people''s anger about inheritances has little to do with being left out of money and everything to do with thinking they are less loved.
These things can drag on forever--my mother''s family is still arguing about property that my grandfather died and left in 1967! Nobody has got anything out of this but lawyers. And my father''s family completely broke up over an inheritance, too.
so Idecided to be happy with what me and my husband have earned together.
I don''t know how we''re going to leave our money yet--I''m thinking, even split, however one of my sons has a mental illness that seems in control now but might not stay that way? He might need something more. Time will tell. and of course who knows if we''ll have anything to leave. Life is uncertain as we all found out last Sept.
Me and husband have told our sons that they get nothing when we die and will only get an education from us--all of them seem hard working and interestingly, the one with the mental illness seems the most independent and hardworking so far.

 

[Black Jade]

In old fashion Chinese culture, daughters get dowry when they get married, don''t they? I''ve seen some mothers argue pretty savagely to make sure their daughter got everything she should from husband''s family before marriage (substantail solid gold jewelry included--12 pieces from what I recall)--isn''t this her security?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 9/16/2009 9:47:11 PM
Author: jet2ks
What fortune????

Date: 9/15/2009 8:19:35 PM
Author: Mara
i'd be upset if my parents didn't spend all their money having fun and enjoying themselves, rather than leaving it to us! we should be able to take care of ourselves... in theory.

Yep, I just hope they leave enough to pay for the funeral expenses.

luckily you aren't Chinese. when my dad pass away 2 yrs ago his funeral cost us $25k and that's not including the plot which was purchased 24 yrs ago. Chinese people spent more on funerals than weddings.