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Would you be nervous about this?

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newbie124

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I was talking to one of my 2 BMs last night about her plans for flying out to SF for our wedding.

We''re getting married in Napa on a Friday, the rehearsal is Thursday afternoon. FI and I are flying out on Tues and driving up to Napa on Wednesday.

My friend asked how I''d feel about her arriving in SF at 11 am on Thursday.

On the one hand, I want to be accommodating of her schedule, but on the other hand, I''m just a little bit nervous that something could happen like the flight getting delayed, she misses her connection, she gets lost, etc...(After she arrives in SF, there''s still a 2 hr drive to Napa).

It also makes me nervous not really knowing just how crazy those few days before the wedding might be. B/c we''re getting married out in CA, there are a lot of things we won''t be able to take care of until we get out there, and I''m not sure if I should anticipate needing extra hands to help with stuff the days before or if we might just be OK with just immediate family available.

My friend said she would be open to coming in on Wed if that makes me more comfortable, although I think her preference would be to only have to take 2 days off if she doesn''t have to take a 3rd.

Ideally for me, we''d all travel up to Napa together on Wed and I wouldn''t have to worry about who''s arriving when on Thursday (my friend would also be staying w/ us at the house we''re renting). But I also don''t want to be that bride, asking my friend to take another day off, if I don''t have to.

Does anyone have any thoughts/suggestions on this? Will it probably be OK just having her come in on Thursday?
 

CDNinNYC

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Is it possible for your BM to take a late flight to SF Wednesday night so she doesn't have to miss a third day of work?

I'd be a bit nervous too with an 11am arrival.
 

Guilty Pleasure

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You are right to not want to be "that bride". I would not recommend asking a friend to take 3 days off for the wedding. She may be cutting it close, but it would not be the end of the world if something freakish happened and she missed the rehearsal anyway. I'm sure people can fill her in on where to stand if her plane gets delayed or something like that. I don't think that it will be any problem though.
 

violet3

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Date: 2/3/2009 2:54:26 PM
Author: Guilty Pleasure
You are right to not want to be ''that bride''. I would not recommend asking a friend to take 3 days off for the wedding. She may be cutting it close, but it would not be the end of the world if something freakish happened and she missed the rehearsal anyway. I''m sure people can fill her in on where to stand if her plane gets delayed or something like that. I don''t think that it will be any problem though.
Ditto to this. I would probably be nervous if she wanted to come the day of the wedding, but this should give her plenty of time to get there, even if her travel plans get a little delayed - you''re very sweet to consider her work schedule and i am sure she appreciates it!
 

DiamanteBlu

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If there is a problem with the airline schedule and she is late I don''t think it would be a disaster. I am sure that your other BMs could fill her in re the protocol. Coming in earlier in the day [may be impossible based on her departure city] or coming in late the night before could also work. I do not thing that this is sufficiently critical to merit her missing another day of work [if that is an issue for her].
 

marchswallowbird

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I would be EXTREMELY nervous about her coming in on Thursday. SFO is infamous for having to cancel/delay/reroute flights because of fog, when they have to shut down one runway because of the way the airport is configured.

I would ask her to come in on Wednesday. Especially because even if she makes it on time her luggage may not.

Also, the drive to Napa is technically 2 hours, but the traffic from SFO to Napa can be WAY BAD (gridlock as bad as that in Los Angeles) and it can take a lot longer.
 

Clairitek

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Date: 2/3/2009 3:00:17 PM
Author: violet3
Date: 2/3/2009 2:54:26 PM

Author: Guilty Pleasure

You are right to not want to be ''that bride''. I would not recommend asking a friend to take 3 days off for the wedding. She may be cutting it close, but it would not be the end of the world if something freakish happened and she missed the rehearsal anyway. I''m sure people can fill her in on where to stand if her plane gets delayed or something like that. I don''t think that it will be any problem though.
Ditto to this. I would probably be nervous if she wanted to come the day of the wedding, but this should give her plenty of time to get there, even if her travel plans get a little delayed - you''re very sweet to consider her work schedule and i am sure she appreciates it!
Thritto.

Just remind her to carry her dress on the plane with her in the event that her luggage gets lost. Vacation time can be precious and it sounds like she wants to avoid eating up a 3rd day of vacation time when the stuff she has to be present for is only on Thursday and Friday. its definitely nice of you to consider her schedule.
 

choro72

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I wouldn't worry. If she misses the rehearsal, then someone can tell her afterward. I think not taking an extra day off is more important.
 

tessari

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Date: 2/3/2009 3:31:40 PM
Author: marchswallowbird
I would be EXTREMELY nervous about her coming in on Thursday. SFO is infamous for having to cancel/delay/reroute flights because of fog, when they have to shut down one runway because of the way the airport is configured.

I would ask her to come in on Wednesday. Especially because even if she makes it on time her luggage may not.

Also, the drive to Napa is technically 2 hours, but the traffic from SFO to Napa can be WAY BAD (gridlock as bad as that in Los Angeles) and it can take a lot longer.
The drive to Napa, assuming this is Napa not Calistoga should only be an hour or even less on a Thursday afternoon. You may hit bad traffic on the way back to SFO--esp on a Satuday and Sunday evening so I would account for that when you are leaving wine country.

Also, I find that SFO delays are usually when you are flying out of SFO and are due to delays from other airports or aircraft issues or waiting for passengers from a connecting flight. I can''t remember the last time of a delay bc of weather at SFO, although it happens occasionally but SFO is not so bad at all when it comes to delays--it doesn''t even snow here!

If she''s coming in from the midwest or even east coast she could catch a flight that leaves at 7:30 PM and arrive at 9:00 PM and then spend the night near the airport or SF or drive all the way to Napa if she feels like it. But that''s still annoying--extra hotel stay or driving at night in an unfamiliar area.

I would be very annoyed about taking 3 days off...vacation time is a precious commodity!

There are no guarantees in life, but I wouldn''t worry about this too much!
 

newbie124

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Date: 2/3/2009 2:51:38 PM
Author: CDNinNYC
Is it possible for your BM to take a late flight to SF Wednesday night so she doesn''t have to miss a third day of work?

I''d be a bit nervous too with an 11am arrival.
She did say she had also considered taking a 1/2 day on Wednesday and getting in at either 8 or 9:30 pm. My only concern then is her driving up to Napa by herself at night, not being familiar w/ the area (the 8 pm arrival might be fine, but I think 9:30 would be pushing it). It''s possible someone else may also be coming in on Wednesday that could go up w/ her, but my relatives are still sorting out their schedules so I''m not sure yet.

I only have 2 BMs (my sister being the other) and honestly will probably end up relying more on my friend since my sister isn''t really into all this wedding stuff. But I know I also tend to over worry about things that usually end up turning out OK, so maybe I''ll just tell her Thursday is fine...and suggest that she avoid checking-in luggage if possible (thanks for that extra tip!)
 

fieryred33143

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I would just let her keep her original plans. The rehearsal won''t be that big of a deal. She can discuss with the other girls where she should stand, etc. And you have other girls to count on to do the last minute stuff.
 

elrohwen

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I'm going to agree with others and say don't worry about it. I fly constantly and rarely are delays longer than a few hours unless there's some horrible weather (though I don't fly into SFO, so I could be wrong regarding this specific airport). If she misses the rehearsal, I'm sure someone can fill her in.

ETA: If she wants to get in at 9:30 on Wednesday night, I wouldn't worry about that either. I'm sure she can find her way there in the dark with good directions and a map. And rental car companies offer GPS devices for minimal expense, so she could always spring for one of those.

ETA2: If she has a direct flight, it's rare that her luggage would be delayed (and if it is, they'll drive it up to you within 24 hours usually). Still, it's always best to carry on if you can! It's stressful to have to wait for your luggage when you have something important coming up that you need to look good for.
 

newbie124

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tessari-GoogleMap''s directions show the quickest route from SFO to Napa would be taking 101 and crossing over the Bay Bridge. However, I know every time we try to head north going through the city, it''s a pain. (I feel like we might have even tried this route at one point and got really turned around picking up the highway once we hit the city, but I could be confusing this with just another time we got lost trying to find the Bay Bridge...ha, let''s just say the Bay Area for whatever reason seriously challenges my navigation abilities :razz:)

I''m almost tempted to tell her to take the San Mateo Bridge, but that would be heading in the opposite direction for a bit then doubling back.

What would your recommendation be?
 

tlh

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No, I had a bridesmaid who had to come in from out of town, and she was going to be cutting it close. I figure all the bridesmaids do at the rehearsal is learn how to walk... and I think most people have had that down for sometime. It is normal to stress... but just vent to your man. If she is late, she''ll still make it for the wedding.

So, I''d just make it... her choice... but I would say. "Honestly I understand if you cannot take another day off from work. I would just be more comfortable if you arrived Weds night. That being said, I will leave the decission up to you."

and then.......let it go. Things happen all the time... and if her being late to the rehearsal is the worst thing to happen at your wedding, you really have NO worries at all!

best wishes!
 

bee*

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Date: 2/3/2009 3:51:16 PM
Author: choro72
I wouldn''t worry. If she misses the rehearsal, then someone can tell her afterward. I think not taking an extra day off is more important.
I''d agree. I''d let her fly in on the Thursday. If it was the day of the actual wedding I''d be a bit nervous but as it''s the day before I wouldn''t worry about it.
 

Elmorton

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I wouldn''t worry too much about her flight - even if it was to be late, things would be OK. Our "reverend" (the friend who officiated our ceremony) missed his flight and didn''t come until right before the rehearsal dinner - and our ceremony was perfect, even though he hadn''t been there for the rehearsal (which was a big confusing mess, btw - I think that''s the general rule as those things go). We just filled him in after dinner.

Re: needing the bridesmaid for bridey stuff the day of the rehearsal - I actually found that once my friends were there, nothing was accomplished (we were too busy catching up or going from point A to point B for the rehearsal, dinner, etc), and really, all the last minute other stuff had already been taken care of by DH and me. I delegated out a few things to my parents and to DH and my SIL (who lives in the area), in terms of running errands, but that was about it. We also got a few things done (decorating our reception hall) after the rehearsal dinner - but that was a big group and nearly everyone just pitched in - it took literally 20 minutes.
 

Gypsy

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Date: 2/3/2009 3:51:16 PM
Author: choro72
I wouldn''t worry. If she misses the rehearsal, then someone can tell her afterward. I think not taking an extra day off is more important.
Ditto. The rehearsal isn''t that big of a deal for the BM''s generally. I think she''ll be fine.
 

tessari

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Date: 2/3/2009 4:35:19 PM
Author: newbie124
tessari-GoogleMap''s directions show the quickest route from SFO to Napa would be taking 101 and crossing over the Bay Bridge. However, I know every time we try to head north going through the city, it''s a pain. (I feel like we might have even tried this route at one point and got really turned around picking up the highway once we hit the city, but I could be confusing this with just another time we got lost trying to find the Bay Bridge...ha, let''s just say the Bay Area for whatever reason seriously challenges my navigation abilities :razz:)

I''m almost tempted to tell her to take the San Mateo Bridge, but that would be heading in the opposite direction for a bit then doubling back.

What would your recommendation be?
I think the San Mateo bridge takes you too much out of the way...I would stick with the Bay Bridge--101 North out of the airport and then take E80 over the Bay Bridge and it''s just a matter of following arrows and staying in the correct lane--you don''t even deal with any surface streets. If she''s on the road before 4PM she should be fine traffic-wise. It''s not as scenic as taking the Golden Gate Bridge but much faster and somewhat easier--you probably got turned around when you took the Golden Gate Bridge bc to get there you have to trace 101 North all the way through the city surface streets-- 101 becomes different streets with very few signs to let you know you are sticking to it. If she has GPS in her rental car it should not be too hard to do it at night, but without GPS it might be tough-- Napa has country roads, hard to see the names at night, etc.
 

oobiecoo

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One of my bridesmaids flew and didn''t get in until maybe 3 hours before the rehearsal. I really wasn''t concerned. I was pretty laid back though so it just depends.
 

newbie124

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Thanks for everyone''s input! I just emailed my friend this morning to tell her to go ahead and book the Thursday flight if that''s what works best for her.

tessari - Thanks for the direction tips! We have taken the Golden Gate route before, and while we didn''t get too lost, we also sat in traffic FOREVER...
ugh, I definitely learned my lesson taking those directions. Coming back across on the Golden Gate isn''t too bad, but, yeah, I would never recommend that someone take that route to go north (at least during the day) if they don''t have to.
 

AmberGretchen

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I have to disagree about the Bay Bridge - IME, it can back up WAY more than the Golden Gate and is much more confusing. Plus its really out of the way to come up to wine country.

If I were her, I''d take the Brotherhood Way exit off of 280 from the airport, then that dumps onto Sunset Blvd which will take you all the way through to the park, and from there onto Park Presidio and onto the GG Bridge. If the traffic is bad when you get off the bridge, there are frontage road options through most of Marin, and then you can get off at 37 and cut over anyway. Much easier and IMO as a native, quicker.
 

newbie124

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Date: 2/4/2009 4:01:26 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
I have to disagree about the Bay Bridge - IME, it can back up WAY more than the Golden Gate and is much more confusing. Plus its really out of the way to come up to wine country.

If I were her, I''d take the Brotherhood Way exit off of 280 from the airport, then that dumps onto Sunset Blvd which will take you all the way through to the park, and from there onto Park Presidio and onto the GG Bridge. If the traffic is bad when you get off the bridge, there are frontage road options through most of Marin, and then you can get off at 37 and cut over anyway. Much easier and IMO as a native, quicker.
Hmm...I''m not seeing the Brotherhood Way Exit or Sunset Blvd on the map?

Also, I''m confused about why the Bay Bridge would be really out of the way. I could see how it would be if you''re going up to Sonoma, but it appears to actually be more direct for going up to Napa. You can take 80 all the way rather than have to cut across on 37.
 

violet02

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When we go to Napa we take the bay bridge from the south bay. Particularly from the airport it would be 101 North from the airport then the bay bridge from there. But, it really depends on traffic. Personally I''m not a fan of trekking all the way through SF from the freeway to get on the golden gate bridge, but i''ve come home that direction and missed a ton of traffic. So imo, it really depends on traffic, either way can work.

And not to add any stress about the thursday arrival but my friends got married in napa a year ago and the groom''s sister missed her flight on friday (saturday wedding) she couldn''t catch another flight to make it in time on sat so she just canceled her trip. I think her flight had her arriving late afternoon/evening. I''m sure that''s not the norm but it did happen! And the drive can take awhile if there''s a lot of traffic... i''ve been stuck in some seriously bad traffic trying to get there in the past.

My wedding was on a saturday in carmel and all of our wedding party came in on thursday "just in case". I''m a worrier though. Sorry to add any stress!
 

DMBFiredancer

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Date: 2/3/2009 3:51:16 PM
Author: choro72
I wouldn''t worry. If she misses the rehearsal, then someone can tell her afterward. I think not taking an extra day off is more important.
ditto. she can figure it all out pretty easily day of if she needs to. i''m sure everyone else will help her out, so dont stress it! if she doesnt make it, have another friend be a ''stand-in'' :)
 
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