Would You Be Angry???

[mrs jam]

I am not sure I would be right, but I would probably me mad. It is definitely one of those things that you need to talk over after. I think
the bottom line is your a bit put out because in essence, he chose his mom over you. When you are married that needs to change.
It would have been courteous and kind for him to call you, but you did say he could go. Mom was probably a little tense and wanted to get on the road too. I guessing it was more mom than your guy.

I agree! Mom was probably on his case about when they would be leaving. Mothers (at least in my experience) can prod people to the brink of insanity! My own mom used to think we needed to be at the airport three hours before a flight! It used to drive me nuts, but there was no arguing with her. I would sit at the gate with my stack of magazines and just stew quietly.

Try not to be too irritated with your SO. It sounds like he was stuck in the middle and frustrated and tense himself.

 

[swingirl]

My bf's mom really wanted to go to his high school alma mater's playoff game tonight, so we made plans to go with her. I left work at 5:00--it usually takes me 15-20 minutes to get home. Traffic was horrible. I called at 5:10--no answer. He called me 10-15 min later, and I explained the situation. He literally called back 3 minutes later asking where I was. I was like, "ummmm... I just talked to you three minutes ago. I am still pretty much in the same place." He asked, "are you moving at all? When will you be back?" I answered that I was about 15 minutes away and asked why he was calling 3 minutes after I spoke to him, and if it was extremely urgent, why didn't they just leave without me. I got home 15 minutes later and they had left!!!

I am furious! I checked my phone and there is a text that says, "We're leaving. Be home aroung 11-12. Sorry." I am pretty irritated that they left without me, but moreso, I am fuming that he didn't even call me to tell me that they were leaving.

I could have stayed at the office and worked for another hour or two, but instead I rushed home only to sit at home alone all night, so now I'm stewing about how pissed off I am. What do you PS'ers think? Do I have the right to be angry about this, or is it my own fault for telling him that if it was so urgent they should just leave without me. I don't know if my judgement is clouded because I have hurt feelings about being ditched, or if it really is as rude as I think. Objective opinions please.

You told him to leave without you. You shouldn't test people. Understand that if you do, you have a 50/50 chance of being disappointed. Next time, speak your desires, "please wait for me, I'll only be a little while." should suffice.

Exactly. Say what you really want. Don't expect to get what you want unless you are clear. You didn't ask them to wait. You told them to leave.

 

[Maisie]

If you were driving, even if stuck in traffic, why were you using your phone? Its not safe.

Couldn't you have followed along once you got moving again? Then you could have gone to the game with them.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

My bf's mom really wanted to go to his high school alma mater's playoff game tonight, so we made plans to go with her. I left work at 5:00--it usually takes me 15-20 minutes to get home. Traffic was horrible. I called at 5:10--no answer. He called me 10-15 min later, and I explained the situation. He literally called back 3 minutes later asking where I was. I was like, "ummmm... I just talked to you three minutes ago. I am still pretty much in the same place." He asked, "are you moving at all? When will you be back?" I answered that I was about 15 minutes away and asked why he was calling 3 minutes after I spoke to him, and if it was extremely urgent, why didn't they just leave without me. I got home 15 minutes later and they had left!!!

I am furious! I checked my phone and there is a text that says, "We're leaving. Be home aroung 11-12. Sorry." I am pretty irritated that they left without me, but moreso, I am fuming that he didn't even call me to tell me that they were leaving.

I could have stayed at the office and worked for another hour or two, but instead I rushed home only to sit at home alone all night, so now I'm stewing about how pissed off I am. What do you PS'ers think? Do I have the right to be angry about this, or is it my own fault for telling him that if it was so urgent they should just leave without me. I don't know if my judgement is clouded because I have hurt feelings about being ditched, or if it really is as rude as I think. Objective opinions please.

You told him to leave without you. You shouldn't test people. Understand that if you do, you have a 50/50 chance of being disappointed. Next time, speak your desires, "please wait for me, I'll only be a little while." should suffice.

Ding, ding, ding--we have a winner folks. You TOLD him to go. He did. Circumstances were beyond your control. You and your BF will probably have enough disagreements in the future--don't go looking for trouble.

ps I would be THRILLED if I hadc to miss a football game.

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

You certainly have the right to be upset, hurt and angry.

Although I understand that you gave them permission to leave, I feel you were being polite and considerate because you were running late and didn't want to make anyone else late. But I also feel the same consideration should have been given to you that you were stuck in traffic and really would it be all that much of an inconvenience for them to wait another 15 minutes for you to arrive? After all didn't your bf did say it was no big deal that they miss the kickoff?

I really wonder how much he enjoyed the game knowing that you might be upset upon his return? If he's a caring person I believe that he probably thought about this the entire night and didn't enjoy the game as much as he could have if he would have been considerate and waited an additional 15 minutes for you to go along with them as originally planned.

He made a mistake and if he's any kind of a man I would want to spend my time with, he would admit his mistake and apologize. And if you are a caring and understanding woman you will joyfully accept his apologyand give him at least 3 options oh how he can make it up to you.

Everyone makes mistakes (hey, it happens!) but try to resist the urge to say "Remember when you left for the football game without me....yadda, yadda..." the next time you are upset with him. Seriously, just kiss and make up and move on and you relationship will be much happier for it.

 

[Rhea]

I did tell him to leave if it was urgent, and, as I said, I am somewhat irked that they left without me, because I DONT really think it was that urgent. But...

What I am asking is: would you be ticked off if you were left behind and your guy didn't even call to tell you that they were leaving without you?!?! I just feel like that is so completely rude!! I would never do that! If I felt like I was going to be late I would call and say, "I'm really sorry, but we have to leave... If we wait any longer we are going to be late!"

No, I wouldn't be mad. He let you know by text. It's illegal to be on the phone while driving in my area and I don't want the distraction of the phone ringing while in stop and start traffic. You said to leave if they wanted or needed to and they did. He let you know that they left. I might be mad at myself for saying that they should go without me, but I wouldn't be mad at boyfriend.

 

[MonkeyPie]

In reality, I'd be a bit miffed for about a minute or so, and then I'd move on. I would take advantage of the night alone to watch my favorite chick flicks and eat popcorn for dinner while wearing my wedding dress and veil.

Please excuse my threadjack, but I gotta ask - why do you always do this? LOL I have seen you mention this countless times and it's so funny. You say you do it like once a week or something

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Yes, I certainly would be upset. He did choose his mother over you. If he is living with his parents and under 18 or even 21, then I can see the scenario better. If not, all I can say is, if you end up marrying him, move out of the town where his mother is!!!!

 

[ormosporter]

This is hard to say,it depends.

 

[mrscushion]

I would be miffed for maybe a minute, then I would have gotten back in the car and followed them to the game.

What's the point of being mad about little things like that?

You told him if it was urgent, he could leave. Don't say things you don't mean and then get mad at other people for it afterwards.

 

[Haven]

In reality, I'd be a bit miffed for about a minute or so, and then I'd move on. I would take advantage of the night alone to watch my favorite chick flicks and eat popcorn for dinner while wearing my wedding dress and veil.

Please excuse my threadjack, but I gotta ask - why do you always do this? LOL I have seen you mention this countless times and it's so funny. You say you do it like once a week or something

Haha, I do mention it a lot on PS. I probably only do it two to four times a year. I do it because it's my favorite *me time* activity--movies, popcorn, wedding dress, what a perfect night! I mention it a lot because I think we should start a movement. More women should wear their dress while watching movies at home! Join me!

 

[chemgirl]

I for one would be very hurt to come home to an empty house after I left work early so I could make it to the game! Actually, regardless of where we're going, DH knows better than to leave without me unless we have an honest and frank conversation about it. An exasperated "Well if its that urgent go without me!" would not be seen as permission to leave me behind. If anything, it would prompt him to ask me to call him back if I thought I was going to be too late to make it to the event. Sure, you shouldn't have said that, but he still shouldn't have left you without discussing it further. Texting really isn't good enough. Its illegal to text and drive here, but I can answer calls on bluetooth no problem. To me, texting is a way of letting you know, but only after its too late for you to say anything to stop him from leaving.

I'm really surprised so many ladies here are saying they wouldn't be angry to be left behind by their SO. I would find it very hurtful, especially if I was 15 minutes away and he still had plenty of time to leave and make it to the game.

I am generally very punctual and I hate it when people are late, but bad traffic can pop up where you least expect it. The OP drove this route every day, but not usually at 5:00pm. It stands to reason that there could be more traffic than she's used to and I think being late in this situation is totally understandable.

 

[pregcurious]

I think both you and your BF did not handle this in the best way.
-You were being passive aggressive, and to you credit, you've already acknowledged it.
-Your BF shouldn't have called you 2x, then just left you hanging with a text. Did he text you b/c he was trying to avoid telling you in person that he was leaving? Is he a conflict avoider?

I think the mistake you guys both made is actually very similar in that you both appear to be avoiding conflict. Of course, we only have your side of the story.

If my husband really had to be somewhere, I would tell him to go and I would meet him there. If he doesn't have to really be there, he would wait for me on his own because we enjoy things much more when we are together. Not everyone is like this. If this is what you want, you need to find someone who likes this also. Otherwise, you might be too clingy for them. Finding a good relationship is sometimes about finding a good fit.

 

[why2not]

My bf's mom really wanted to go to his high school alma mater's playoff game tonight, so we made plans to go with her... He literally called back 3 minutes later asking where I was. I was like, "ummmm... I just talked to you three minutes ago. I am still pretty much in the same place." He asked, "are you moving at all? When will you be back?" I answered that I was about 15 minutes away and asked why he was calling 3 minutes after I spoke to him, and if it was extremely urgent, why didn't they just leave without me.

By my reading, bf's mom is really who wanted to go, so ya' all decided to go with her. It wasn't that she decided to join you. So this event was really about her.

If I were in his shoes, when you ridiculed his choice of calling you after 3 minutes to check your progress, I probably would have chosen to text you rather than call you 3 minutes after that when the decision was reached to leave without you. Had you reacted more positively to that 2nd phone call, then I probably would have called you to aplogize.

Avoidance? Maybe, but who wants to deal with a critical/stressed gf when they already have mom upset that she was going to be late for her event? If it were an event that you/bf had planned and mom had decided to join you, then I would have told mom that I was sitting tight and would miss as much as the game as needed until you made it home. If mom couldn't handle it, then she could leave without me and we'd be along when we could.

 

[mayerling]

In reality, I'd be a bit miffed for about a minute or so, and then I'd move on. I would take advantage of the night alone to watch my favorite chick flicks and eat popcorn for dinner while wearing my wedding dress and veil.

Please excuse my threadjack, but I gotta ask - why do you always do this? LOL I have seen you mention this countless times and it's so funny. You say you do it like once a week or something

Haha, I do mention it a lot on PS. I probably only do it two to four times a year. I do it because it's my favorite *me time* activity--movies, popcorn, wedding dress, what a perfect night! I mention it a lot because I think we should start a movement. More women should wear their dress while watching movies at home! Join me!

Sorry for my threadjack, but, Haven, how do you manage it? I'd love to be able to wear my dress and prance around the house but I'd need someone to zip it up for me; kind of gets rid of wanting to keep it a secret

 

[Missy]

In reality, I'd be a bit miffed for about a minute or so, and then I'd move on. I would take advantage of the night alone to watch my favorite chick flicks and eat popcorn for dinner while wearing my wedding dress and veil.

Please excuse my threadjack, but I gotta ask - why do you always do this? LOL I have seen you mention this countless times and it's so funny. You say you do it like once a week or something

Haha, I do mention it a lot on PS. I probably only do it two to four times a year. I do it because it's my favorite *me time* activity--movies, popcorn, wedding dress, what a perfect night! I mention it a lot because I think we should start a movement. More women should wear their dress while watching movies at home! Join me!

Sorry for my threadjack, but, Haven, how do you manage it? I'd love to be able to wear my dress and prance around the house but I'd need someone to zip it up for me; kind of gets rid of wanting to keep it a secret

Ditto here LOL. I doubt I would be able to fit into my wedding dress these days.
I'm with you on the popcorn and moves though- one of my favorite me time activities as well!
(especially old movies- love them!)

 

[Haven]

Oh, I definitely can't zip it all the way up by myself. No matter: a) It probably wouldn't zip all the way up anymore, anyway, and b) I can push it up enough on my own that it fits snug enough for lounging around and watching movies.

TRY IT, LADIES! You will have so much fun. A wedding gown makes everything so much more festive. Join me in my underground gown-wearing movie club!

 

[pregcurious]

TRY IT, LADIES! You will have so much fun. A wedding gown makes everything so much more festive. Join me in my underground gown-wearing movie club!

I wish we could all hang out in our wedding dresses and talk about jewelry, for real.

 

[packrat]

I doubt I could get mine up past my knees. If I put it on over my head..I'd probably be stuck. You could feed me popcorn thru the armhole or something. Or I'd have to leave it on the hanger and drape the hanger over my head.

 

[Hera]

I doubt I could get mine up past my knees. If I put it on over my head..I'd probably be stuck. You could feed me popcorn thru the armhole or something. Or I'd have to leave it on the hanger and drape the hanger over my head.

OMG-Packrat! That's so funny!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

In reality, I'd be a bit miffed for about a minute or so, and then I'd move on. I would take advantage of the night alone to watch my favorite chick flicks and eat popcorn for dinner while wearing my wedding dress and veil.

Please excuse my threadjack, but I gotta ask - why do you always do this? LOL I have seen you mention this countless times and it's so funny. You say you do it like once a week or something

Haha, I do mention it a lot on PS. I probably only do it two to four times a year. I do it because it's my favorite *me time* activity--movies, popcorn, wedding dress, what a perfect night! I mention it a lot because I think we should start a movement. More women should wear their dress while watching movies at home! Join me!

A friend and I dressed up in our wedding dresses to watch the royal wedding earlier this year. We had a BLAST and I can't wait for an excuse to do it again! (seriously considering turning it into a fairy outfit by adding a pair of wings for a fantasy themed outdoor movie screening of the Labriynth in a few weeks!)

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

TRY IT, LADIES! You will have so much fun. A wedding gown makes everything so much more festive. Join me in my underground gown-wearing movie club!

I wish we could all hang out in our wedding dresses and talk about jewelry, for real.

The night we wore our dresses we put all of our jewelry together and had a diamond photo shoot. It was so much fun!