Wording for announcement

[Mannequin]

I want to send out an announcement card this week, something printed and postcard sized, to tell my family who received STD magnets that my wedding is no longer taking place. I don''t want people planning vacation time around something that no longer exists and a lot of places finalize vacation schedules around now. I am only doing this for my family, the ex is on his own with his part of the guest list. How is this supposed to be worded, though? Can I get away with something like this?

Due to unforseen circumstances,
the wedding of equestrienne and eq''s ex
has been cancelled.
Please remove this event from your calendars.

 

[sumbride]

I think a printed announcement is maybe not the best route on this. How many people did you send it to on your side of the guest list? Can you, and maybe your parents, call and tell them? I know it may feel like you''re rehashing, which would make it better if your parents could do the bulk of the family, but if you send the announcement, people are going to call anyway to find out what those "unforeseen circumstances" are.

 

[janinegirly]

i agree with sum. it''s an expensive and formal way of telling people an event is cancelled. In this circumstance, a phone call/email, word of mouth would suffice I''d think.

 

[Mannequin]

Well, that's just the thing, the rehashing by phone is what I DON'T want to have to do or put my folks through at this time. Once you start talking to some of these people, it's an hour long conversation. We have urgent family concerns at this time that are more important than having to take a few hours to make phone calls... let's just say that after events of last week, there is likely NO WAY a wedding would have happened this year anyway, regardless of my situation with my ex. I just want to move on. Something short and sweet without the "oh you poor thing"-ing is what I want.

I could get the word out through an email, too, as that news will filter through a number of people on both my mom's and dad's sides of the family and they will get the word around...

 

[jcrow]

well email might give you similar results as a phone call. they would most likely respond with questions. email & phone both illicit a response, whereas the announcement via mail would take more on their part to ask questions.

 

[FacetFire]

If it were me, I''d probably send a card. I saw a humorous cancellation card once that said something along the lines of, "Picked the wrong guy, gave him the wrong finger, thanks for your support at this difficult time." Not that I recommend that you take that route, but it just stuck in my mind. Personally, if I received a cancellation card, unless I was VERY close to the bride/groom, I wouldn''t call and ask...it just doesn''t seem polite when you know that the reasons behind the cancellation can''t be good.

BTW, how are you doing?

 

[fatafelice]

I think you should do whatever is easiest/best for you. You have enough to deal with already. Sure some people will want to call and find out what happened, but I would think that number would be much lower if you send out cards. If it helps, it is what my etiquette book reccommends as well. She mentions wording something like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Equestrienne''s Parents
announce that the marriage of
their daughter
Equestrienne
to
Equestrienne''s ex
will not take place

The one above implies that the parents are the hosts (and that invitations have been sent); if they were not hosting your wedding, then it would not be neccessary to include their names. What I do like about -- it is very to the point with no extra information. I think that implies that calls and questions might be unwelcome, which would help you out.

Finally, I have been sort of MIA lately, so in case I haven''t said it before, I am so sorry that you have to go through this Equestrienne. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be. And to be having other problems to deal with now as well...My thoughts are with you. Stay strong.

 

[Finding_Neverland]

Date: 1/29/2007 10:16:31 AM
Author: FacetFire
If it were me, I''d probably send a card. I saw a humorous cancellation card once that said something along the lines of, ''Picked the wrong guy, gave him the wrong finger, thanks for your support at this difficult time.'' Not that I recommend that you take that route, but it just stuck in my mind. Personally, if I received a cancellation card, unless I was VERY close to the bride/groom, I wouldn''t call and ask...it just doesn''t seem polite when you know that the reasons behind the cancellation can''t be good.


BTW, how are you doing?

That''s probably the card I would choose, Facet!! That''s too funny. And would probably be too true!!

I''m with Facet,........... If I wasn''t a close relative or on "best friend" level with the bride or groom, I wouldn''t ask. If you wanted to tell that would be one thing. But if not, well it''s not my business. It''s your business and you chose not to share. But not everyone is that considerate. You''ll have tacky Cuz Sue and Aunt Polly and the neighbor down the street all doing the "Inquiring Minds Gotta Know" routine.

However you say there''s not gonna be a wedding, Eq,........... You might add at the end of your note something to the effect of,........... I know you all love and support me, but PLEASE do not deepen the wounds with lots of questions that I have neither the time nor the energy to answer right now. When the time is right,......... When this all much less painful,.......... I may talk about it sometime in the future.

Just a thought for you.

 

[Mannequin]

Date: 1/29/2007 10:02:52 AM
Author: jcrow
well email might give you similar results as a phone call. they would most likely respond with questions. email & phone both illicit a response, whereas the announcement via mail would take more on their part to ask questions.

That was kind of what I was going for, jcrow. They have to do a lot more to get fuel for the rumor mill if it''s just a quick card through the mail. My immediate family knows the story, and they could just go from that point rather than speak directly to the source.

 

[Mannequin]

Date: 1/29/2007 10:16:31 AM
Author: FacetFire
If it were me, I''d probably send a card. I saw a humorous cancellation card once that said something along the lines of, ''Picked the wrong guy, gave him the wrong finger, thanks for your support at this difficult time.'' Not that I recommend that you take that route, but it just stuck in my mind. Personally, if I received a cancellation card, unless I was VERY close to the bride/groom, I wouldn''t call and ask...it just doesn''t seem polite when you know that the reasons behind the cancellation can''t be good.

BTW, how are you doing?

LOL I love that card you mentioned, FF.

I am doing okay, thanks for asking. I am really positive about this whole situation, and have gotten nothing but support and "you go, girl"-s from most of the people I have told about what happened. I redid my bedroom (see the thread in the Shopping forum), I''ve been meeting new people and going on some dates, and I''ve been working on me and my best interests for the last few weeks. Apparently he is not doing as well, so I have heard through mutual friends, but that is really not my concern anymore.

 

[Mannequin]

Date: 1/29/2007 10:20:34 AM
Author: fatafelice
I think you should do whatever is easiest/best for you. You have enough to deal with already. Sure some people will want to call and find out what happened, but I would think that number would be much lower if you send out cards. If it helps, it is what my etiquette book reccommends as well. She mentions wording something like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Equestrienne''s Parents
announce that the marriage of
their daughter
Equestrienne
to
Equestrienne''s ex
will not take place

The one above implies that the parents are the hosts (and that invitations have been sent); if they were not hosting your wedding, then it would not be neccessary to include their names. What I do like about -- it is very to the point with no extra information. I think that implies that calls and questions might be unwelcome, which would help you out.

Finally, I have been sort of MIA lately, so in case I haven''t said it before, I am so sorry that you have to go through this Equestrienne. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be. And to be having other problems to deal with now as well...My thoughts are with you. Stay strong.

Thank you for your assistance, ff. I would have to word this with both sets of parents'' names if I did that wording you suggested, and this is only going to go to my family. I am not doing anything for his guests on our list - he can handle that. Being that it is for a limited amount of guests, I just wanted to send something brief and to the point. No invites were sent (or even ordered) and the STD magnet is the only thing that people received, so I think I can be a bit more informal.

Thank you for your support too. I may post a bit in another forum as soon as I know what is going on for sure, but I think the year potentially looks pretty rough and may not have allowed for a wedding after all.

 

[onedrop]

Equestrienne: I am SO sorry about the cancelling of the wedding, but it seems you are really hanging in there. That said, a few years ago my cousin called off her wedding, and we received a typed note. Can''t remember the exact wording but it was something to the effect of, "we regret to announce that the wedding of X and Y has been called off..." It was short and right to the point. Personally, I think notes that announce the cancellation of the wedding are great for the reasons that you cited. It''s painful enough to call off the wedding, but then to have to re-hash the reasons why is even more so. Those that need to know details of the cancellation already know, and those that don''t...well it''s really not that necessary to go into specifics through a phone call or e-mail. And usually people who want to be supportive will call and offer that. Hope my .02 helps.

 

[Mannequin]

Date: 1/29/2007 10:29:44 AM
Author: Finding_Neverland

Date: 1/29/2007 10:16:31 AM
Author: FacetFire
If it were me, I''d probably send a card. I saw a humorous cancellation card once that said something along the lines of, ''Picked the wrong guy, gave him the wrong finger, thanks for your support at this difficult time.'' Not that I recommend that you take that route, but it just stuck in my mind. Personally, if I received a cancellation card, unless I was VERY close to the bride/groom, I wouldn''t call and ask...it just doesn''t seem polite when you know that the reasons behind the cancellation can''t be good.


BTW, how are you doing?

That''s probably the card I would choose, Facet!! That''s too funny. And would probably be too true!!

I''m with Facet,........... If I wasn''t a close relative or on ''best friend'' level with the bride or groom, I wouldn''t ask. If you wanted to tell that would be one thing. But if not, well it''s not my business. It''s your business and you chose not to share. But not everyone is that considerate. You''ll have tacky Cuz Sue and Aunt Polly and the neighbor down the street all doing the ''Inquiring Minds Gotta Know'' routine.

However you say there''s not gonna be a wedding, Eq,........... You might add at the end of your note something to the effect of,........... I know you all love and support me, but PLEASE do not deepen the wounds with lots of questions that I have neither the time nor the energy to answer right now. When the time is right,......... When this all much less painful,.......... I may talk about it sometime in the future.

Just a thought for you.

Thank you for your assistance, FN.

BTW, I love your avatar. It makes me laugh every time I see it.

 

[Mannequin]

Date: 1/29/2007 12:31:19 PM
Author: onedrop
Equestrienne: I am SO sorry about the cancelling of the wedding, but it seems you are really hanging in there. That said, a few years ago my cousin called off her wedding, and we received a typed note. Can''t remember the exact wording but it was something to the effect of, ''we regret to announce that the wedding of X and Y has been called off...'' It was short and right to the point. Personally, I think notes that announce the cancellation of the wedding are great for the reasons that you cited. It''s painful enough to call off the wedding, but then to have to re-hash the reasons why is even more so. Those that need to know details of the cancellation already know, and those that don''t...well it''s really not that necessary to go into specifics through a phone call or e-mail. And usually people who want to be supportive will call and offer that. Hope my .02 helps.

Thank you, onedrop. Short and sweet is what I am going for, and I am thinking that the typed note/printed card route will be best.

 

[dtnyc]

I think doing a short announcement is definitely the way to go if you have the time since you sent out the save the dates.

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
announce that the marriage of
their daughter
Barbara Marie
to
Howard Franklin
will not take place

this link might be helpful-
http://www.ultimatewedding.com/articles/get.php?action=getarticle&articleid=588

 

[sumbride]

I think the "regret to announce" is the best way to word it. Leave out any mention of "unforeseen circumstances". That''s really implied anyway.

 

[mercoledi]

Hi,
I followed your earlier threads too and I''m sorry you''ve had to go through all of this. It looks like what dtnyc posted is pretty much standard for a broken engangement announcement. This one has an extra line too. Best of luck to you!


Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
announce that the marriage of
their daughter
Jane Marie
to
Tom Smith
will not take place

We appreciate your support during this difficult time for our family

 

[Mannequin]

Okay, postcards are printed on cardstock and I am cutting them. The wording I chose is:


We regret to announce that the wedding of
************ and *************
will not be taking place.
Please remove this event from your calendars.

Thank you everyone for your input.