why is he taking so long!

[soonerthanuthinkgirl]

Ok so I am new to the forum but not new to the waiting game! My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We have always talked marriage and i have had engagement fever for at least a year and a half now

. We actually went together and bought the ring in October and he was having it shipped. i thought for sure he was going to give it to me on the day we met in november, but alas no. Then i thought christmas time, then new years and still no ring!

He must have the ring if we bought it back in october right? What the heck is he waiting for? I am getting so upset over the whole thing because everyone is constantly questioning me about when we are getting engaged. I tried for so long not to nag him about it but i cant help myself at this point. Im afraid that engagement fever is ruining our relationship!

I dont want him to propose just because i keep talking about it. I wanted his proposal to be a happy and surprised time, not an "its about time" kind of thing.

How can I chill out??
What could he possibly be waiting for????
Does anyone else get embarrased when people ask when you are going to get engaged?

 

[poptart]

Just ask him what is taking him so long. Hinting doesn''t work, and you''ll never know what he is thinking unless you ask.

*M*

 

[kcoursolle]

My fiance took four months to propose after we already had the ring! I think honestly boys don''t really understand the rush and they take their time...very frustrating though. He may be planning something special and have a date in mind.

 

[KimberlyH]

How about asking him? Not hinting, suggesting, hoping, just point blank asking him.

 

[diamondfan]

there is that whole big boy time versus girl time debate, you know he has the ring almost with 100% certainty, and some good dates have come and gone without a proposal...so now I might tease and say, Hey what ARE you waiting for?! Just make it light. Maybe he is really waiting for some big thing, and just has no clue how upsetting this is for you.

 

[ladykemma]

there was a thread on here (alexis?) a woman was in the same situation. we planned manipulation central.

one good point blank asking, and then weep and weep and weep and weep. for days. in front of him. then don't speak to him for a week. not a mean silent treatment just look at him with those weepy teary eyes.

that should do it...

edited to add: I remember now! she had a crying fit in the basement, made sure he heard it too. he was sooooo clueless. a nice dinner and a proposal happened within the week.

 

[MiniMouse]

Oh heck, I'm not sure I could stay sane in your situation.

I think you need to jokingly tell him he's cruel to hang onto a ring for so long, knowing you really want it, plus let him know the longer you're without a ring, the higher your expectations could be

 

[MustangFan]

Getting the ring is just one step....
then the next is deciding how he''s going to present it to you, he might have gotten the ring in November and with the holidays didn''t put a lot of thought in the proposal (a guess) I would stay that it should be happening very soon for you
My b/f told me a couple weeks ago he had no idea how he was going to give it to me, he wants to make me happy with a grand proposal I suppose...

be patient, it should happen very soon, he must have something up his sleeve

 

[soonerthanuthinkgirl]

Thanks girls~ I needed some good advice! i''ll keep you posted on what happens.

 

[Pandora II]

When mine proposed on Xmas eve, he mentioned he had been planning on proposing on New Year''s Eve the year before when we were supposed to be renting a cottage with friends for 3 days. In the end we didn''t go away and he just didn''t think it felt right. Not that we weren''t right or anything - just the moment he had imagined had not happened. So... he waited nearly a year and I didn''t get a single hint - infact he told me and all our friends that he didn''t believe in marriage to put me off the scent!

Keep calm - men are weird

 

[maggiemai]

Oh I really understand how you feel, it’s such a difficult situation, especially if you are like me and HATE waiting. I have to say patience was never one of my strong points and waiting in a queue makes me feel physically sick. But you must focus on the facts; he has the ring so your proposal is very near your BF is probably planning the perfect proposal, and he probably wants to completely surprise you. And when It happens you will look back and say that you ‘wouldn’t have had it any other way’! (Including the waiting).

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/12/2007 6:01:57 AM
Author: ladykemma
there was a thread on here (alexis?) a woman was in the same situation. we planned manipulation central.

one good point blank asking, and then weep and weep and weep and weep. for days. in front of him. then don''t speak to him for a week. not a mean silent treatment just look at him with those weepy teary eyes.

that should do it...

edited to add: I remember now! she had a crying fit in the basement, made sure he heard it too. he was sooooo clueless. a nice dinner and a proposal happened within the week.

LOL, I love this tactic!!!!

 

[LaLaDozier]

Hey,
I had been dating my now fiance for 4 years before he proposed. everyone knew it would happen someday soon, but the actual day was unknown. We didnt have a love at first sight thing, because we started dating when we were 18 but we grew together very fast and knew that we were meant for each other. I wasnt to worried about getting engaged, but then EVERYONE would ask me, and him about when we would get engaged, then i became upset about it. Like you, i thougth it would be on different days, valentines, my birthday, our anniverserary, ANY DAY!! And, I knew he had a ring...but, it was a really random Sunday and in the afternoon over lunch. Very special, and worth the wait. So, as annoying as it is, he probably has a reason,. i would be worried if he wouldnt talk about marriage, but considering he has the ring, he is totally in the right direction!