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Why do so many people want to be cool?

kenny

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
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34,304
... your 2 cents, please ...
 
If by "cool," you mean interesting, a little edgy and daring and so on, who wouldn't want to feel like they were that and be seen as that?

But it seems to me a lot less important with age, to many of us anyway. Maybe as one becomes more sure of themselves and so on with age, the outside approval means less. JMO
 
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People want to be liked. Wanting to be cool always reminds me more of adolescents than adults, but I am sure there are enough adults that still want to be perceived that way. Unflappable, in the know, in vogue - whatever. I was never a ‘groupie’ and was very comfortable in my own skin. Thank goodness, I honestly didn’t strive to be anything but myself. It must be miserable to want to be something, achieve it and then have to maintain it!
 
Now that I've cracked myself up with my above post. I can't really say I know why people want to be cool (as in popular/in the know...etc), I imagine it varies from person to person, and to some it doesn't matter.

It could be they were taught that was important by their family
They want to feel liked/accepted
They think that is the answer to being happy
They look to others for validation/ or they have other insecurities

The first time I realized I didn't fit society's beauty standards was in kindergarten. I decided at a young age to just accept myself. Sure I still had to deal with bullying, name calling....etc, but I didn't let it change me, as I've always liked myself. I think I'm kind and conscientious and I've always been happier to be that, than to be pretty/popular...etc.
 
Regardless of how we define "cool" (as it will have different meaning to different people), it's about the way others perceive us and, more importantly, accept us. And wanting to be perceived in good light and accepted is a quality we probably evolved over time. Historically (think tens of thousands of years ago, not the middle of last century), humans who lived in social groups had higher chances of survival. Being accepted, being a part of a group was a distinct evolutionary advantage.

So really, who can blame teenagers?
 
When we are young we (the majority) are easily influenced and want nothing more than to be accepted and to have lots of friends and be "popular".

Hopefully as we get older we get wiser and care less about being popular and become our own person. With our own moral compass. Not easily influenced by others. Instead we go by our own sense right and wrong and do what we want to do. No longer a "sheep" but rather a "lion".

The freedom to be who we are and do as we see fit without worrying about what others think about us.

Knowing yourself is, IMO, the beginning of wisdom. And freedom. And it is oh so sweet.

Personally, when I was young, I was never easily influenced by anyone. That's the truth. I have to credit my parents for this. They helped nurture these qualities.

I had a very strong sense of self (still do) and always did what I felt was right (for me) and good (for others). I never cared very much about what others thought of me. And I still don't. As long as I feel I am doing the "right" thing I am content and happy with my actions.

I like who I am and it is really none of my business what others think of me. I do not need approval or validation from other people. Truth.

"The greatest challenge in life is to be our own person and accept that being different is a blessing and not a curse."
 
At this time in my life, I'm happy just to be lukewarm!

I guess if "being cool" is your natural personality I'm good with it but nothing worse than someone older trying too hard to be
cool! We've all seen it and cringed! :sick:
 
lets see...
doing mental arthrimatic (which im better at than spelling)
its been 34 years since i was at high school
by which time i had long stopped worrying about being cool (or not)
what @missy said was spot on

i dont need others to valadate my existance ...or my coolness or otherwise
and even though im a bit upset not to fit my skinny clothes anymore i am finally comfetable in my own skin and i think a lot of that is from working with people who just accept me for who i am (and of course years of 'therpy' via Mr Bruce Springsteen)
 
I don’t know that I’ve ever been cool. I was certainly not back in high school. Not uncool, but just middle of the road. My goal when dressing is to look nice and appropriate for the occasion. I’m not gonna lie genetically I’ve been blessed ( 5’11” with blond hair and decent figure) so I probably look good with less effort than other people. As far as taste, possessions, or anything else, I like what I like. And I like people that are authentic so sometimes they are cool and sometimes they are not.
 
I think being cool is an attitude not a look.

It's not a label you give to yourself, it's something you see on other people's faces when you "enter the room". You know it, they know it, no words needed.
 
Gloria27 said:
I think being cool is an attitude not a look.

It's not a label you give to yourself, it's something you see on other people's faces when you "enter the room". You know it, they know it, no words needed.
Click to expand...

That but a great handbag never hurts!
 
Piper70 said:
I don’t know that I’ve ever been cool. I was certainly not back in high school. Not uncool, but just middle of the road. My goal when dressing is to look nice and appropriate for the occasion. I’m not gonna lie genetically I’ve been blessed ( 5’11” with blond hair and decent figure) so I probably look good with less effort than other people. As far as taste, possessions, or anything else, I like what I like. And I like people that are authentic so sometimes they are cool and sometimes they are not.
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I’m 5’5” , born with red hair and freckles...always considered myself ”genetically blessed” too! I’m sure you didn’t mean to insult anyone who isn’t tall and blonde , but you kind of did!
 
jeaniefish said:
I’m 5’5” , born with red hair and freckles...always considered myself ”genetically blessed” too! I’m sure you didn’t mean to insult anyone who isn’t tall and blonde , but you kind of did!
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I certainly didn’t mean to! To be honest, I have low self esteem and struggle to feel confident let alone cool.i need all the help I can get!
 
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Piper70 said:
I certainly didn’t mean to! To be honest, I have low self esteem and struggle to feel confident let alone cool.i need all the help I can get!
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Hi Piper,
I completely understand. Coming from the generation when Barbie‘s plastic figure was the standard for beauty, I confess to being a bit sensitive regarding the term “ genetically blessed” . Between Barbie, Playboy and Raquel Welch, it was a difficult time to be an ordinary little girl. It wasn’t cool ( trying to stick to Kenny’s thread topic) to be a chubby little redhead, or a little girl of color , or to be any girl who didn’t fit that perfect tall, curvaceous and ( preferably) blonde ideal. Thankfully, we are evolving but still have a long way to go, IMHO.
 
jeaniefish said:
Hi Piper,
I completely understand. Coming from the generation when Barbie‘s plastic figure was the standard for beauty, I confess to being a bit sensitive regarding the term “ genetically blessed” . Between Barbie, Playboy and Raquel Welch, it was a difficult time to be an ordinary little girl. It wasn’t cool ( trying to stick to Kenny’s thread topic) to be a chubby little redhead, or a little girl of color , or to be any girl who didn’t fit that perfect tall, curvaceous and ( preferably) blonde ideal. Thankfully, we are evolving but still have a long way to go, IMHO.
Click to expand...

you know there are tons of people out here (um me) that pay good money for red hair
ginger people are awsome
1702754622518.jpeg
back in the mid 70's i had a red haired Barbie with an orange dress and platform shoes8-)
 
I've always been very anti cool. too nerdy to be cool...lol
 
Borris and Fluffy know i am not cool:lol-2:
Puff Ball on the other hand, thinks i walk on water :kiss2:
he is the one the SPCA would not take in, so we had to keep him
when he was a kitten he was like a pompom he was just a ball of fluff
:kiss2:
 
I think cool is about knowing who you are, being yourself, not feeling like you have anything to prove, being kind, and protecting your peace.

I think people confuse edgy / tortured / unstable yet emotionally thrilling with "cool". Likewise, thinking of cool exclusively in terms of image.

Something I've been reflecting on too as seasons change in life. =) I don't want to have "cool" friends; I want friends who are cool with who I am.
 
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