why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social circle?

[Dancing Fire]

i mean...why give a "F" on how they feel?

i shouldn't sport a honker Ering if they don't? ..i shouldn't drive a $100k car if most of them are driving a $20k car?...

 

[MonkeyPie]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

i mean...why give a "F" on how they feel?

i shouldn't sport a honker Ering if they don't? ..i shouldn't drive a $100k car if most of them are driving a $20k car?...

I certainly don't. I had the biggest diamond among my friends and rocked the heck out of it. Real friends support your choices, they don't pick at you for it.

 

[Circe]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Why wear a suit to work? Why don shoes to go shopping? Why bother brushing your hair before you hit a nice restaurant?

Because human beings are social animals, and social animals follow social codes.

I don't follow them too, too closely, but I tend to be known as an eccentric. So ... I'll happily wear my big bling most places, but maybe not to faculty meetings if it makes me look out-of-place, and I'll rock my platform boots and my crinoline down to the Village, but maybe not to my husband's business dinner, no matter how pretty they make me feel.

Time and place, dude. What's the saying - you must know the rules in order to break them? You must know them in order to know when to break them, too. Time. And. Place. If it's worth it to you for the bling or the car or the whatever, it's worth it: if you break too many, you may wind up needing to find a different circle. And, hey, sometimes that's worth it, in and of itself ....

 

[Autumnovember]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Nothing we've bought has been based on *my* social circle at all. It fits more with SO's circle.

 

[kenny]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Some care what others think of them in every possible way.
Some care what others think of them in just certain ways.
Some don't care at all what others think of them.

Many people take great comfort in being similar to those around them.
We see questions here all the time asking, "Is it normal to . . . XYZ?"

This may be insecurity or lack of self esteem, youth, or something else.
Nothing wrong with it.
People vary.

Actually, IMHO every one is perfect just as he or she is.
We are even free to be inconsistent.
We are free to change when ever we want.

This is a very radical view that upsets people who think everyone should be one way. THE RIGHT WAY!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Why wear a suit to work? Why don shoes to go shopping? Why bother brushing your hair before you hit a nice restaurant?

Because human beings are social animals, and social animals follow social codes.

I don't follow them too, too closely, but I tend to be known as an eccentric. So ... I'll happily wear my big bling most places, but maybe not to faculty meetings if it makes me look out-of-place, and I'll rock my platform boots and my crinoline down to the Village, but maybe not to my husband's business dinner, no matter how pretty they make me feel.

Time and place, dude. What's the saying - you must know the rules in order to break them? You must know them in order to know when to break them, too. Time. And. Place. If it's worth it to you for the bling or the car or the whatever, it's worth it: if you break too many, you may wind up needing to find a different circle. And, hey, sometimes that's worth it, in and of itself ....

I think most of these examples are different - I took the original question to mean that you would buy a 1 carat round brilliant because that's what all your friends had, when what you REALLY wanted was a 3 carat pear.

 

[Circe]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Why wear a suit to work? Why don shoes to go shopping? Why bother brushing your hair before you hit a nice restaurant?

Because human beings are social animals, and social animals follow social codes.

I don't follow them too, too closely, but I tend to be known as an eccentric. So ... I'll happily wear my big bling most places, but maybe not to faculty meetings if it makes me look out-of-place, and I'll rock my platform boots and my crinoline down to the Village, but maybe not to my husband's business dinner, no matter how pretty they make me feel.

Time and place, dude. What's the saying - you must know the rules in order to break them? You must know them in order to know when to break them, too. Time. And. Place. If it's worth it to you for the bling or the car or the whatever, it's worth it: if you break too many, you may wind up needing to find a different circle. And, hey, sometimes that's worth it, in and of itself ....

I think most of these examples are different - I took the original question to mean that you would buy a 1 carat round brilliant because that's what all your friends had, when what you REALLY wanted was a 3 carat pear.

Oh, I interpret the question the same way - I just think it's a difference of degree, and not kind. You show up to work in shorts and flip-flops, you'll probably get some dirty looks: you buy an e-ring that's drastically different from what everyone around you is wearing, you might, again, get the side-eye. Sometimes it's worth worrying about, sometimes it isn't, 'cause you gotta pick your battles.

 

[suchende]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

When I am making decisions like buying a car or jewelry, I don't really think about what my friends will think, I think what my colleagues/bosses/clients will think. In my past job, my appearance mattered a lot, so I spent a fair bit of time making sure the image I was projecting was the one I had intended to project. That mentality extends to my jewelry, car, or anything else that might be associated with "me" in my professional life. I come from one judge-y, image-conscious field and I'm going into another one. I've heard women get slammed for their clothes/accessories before. While I wish it were different, conforming is easier than trying to justify yourself.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

i mean...why give a "F" on how they feel?

i shouldn't sport a honker Ering if they don't? ..i shouldn't drive a $100k car if most of them are driving a $20k car?...

Basing the e-ring on the social circle is not about how others feel, but more about how "I" feel. I don't like to draw attention to myself, so I dress to conform to office standards, I drive a car that conforms to the ones seen in my neighborhood, and my e-ring is the biggest that I feel confortable wearing. I just like to be inconspicuous. Is that so wrong?

 

[Kaleigh]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

As Nanny would say, I don't shive a git what people think. I wear what I like...

I could give a rats as* as to what people wear . I am dressing for myself not other's..

And DF....Who says social circle these days... You are showing your age my friend... But I get the question, just don't care what anyone thinks.

I am on PS because my friends in my social circle are not as caught up into jewelry as I am. And some of them trump my stuff 3X's over...

 

[Circe]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

As Nanny would say, I don't shive a git what people think. I wear what I like...

Pratchett?

 

[kelpie]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

I sure as heck don't but I understand it's about feeling self conscious if your purchases are significantly outside the norm and as readily displayed as jewelry. I went to a formal ball the other day and my friend asked if I had on a new ring (it was only $350 but a flashy colored stone) and I asked if she had on a new ring as well which I was already admiring. It was a lovely three stone...maybe 1.50 cts with another .50CTW in sides. She said, well it's newer but it's a little big for me to wear usually. My response was, "Honey, go big or go home!". Jewelry should be worn and enjoyed, especially if it's a gift from a loved one.

 

[Amys Bling]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

No, not really. I am more of a "buy what I want, wear what I want" type of girl

 

[Krae11]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

I understand not wanting to stick out in a negative or indecent way in the workplace certainly. I work from home so it isn't an issue for me so much, but it's completely understandable. I even understand how some people aren't comfortable having a ring excessively larger or smaller than one's friends, but it completely depends on the individual. I admit there's a part of me that is thrilled and a little proud that I will have the nicest and biggest (though far from huge at 2ct) ring of anyone I know (and I won't even have it for a other month or so). Maybe that makes me a little tacky in some people's opinions, but I don't care. Hell, I would have loved a 3-3.5ct stone if that was in the budget for us (without losing the ideal quality), but that's just because I love how it looks on me. I'm 5'8, size 6 finger and far from super skinny. I'm not a petite woman. A <1ct diamond doesn't look good on me. However, a gf of mine who recently got engaged chose her own e-ring (I didn't ask the size etc because I didn't want to offend, but I'd approximate it's .5ct EC with teeny little sidestones) and it looks gorgeous on her small hands and petite frame.

 

[Lula]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

i mean...why give a "F" on how they feel?

i shouldn't sport a honker Ering if they don't? ..i shouldn't drive a $100k car if most of them are driving a $20k car?...

Basing the e-ring on the social circle is not about how others feel, but more about how "I" feel. I don't like to draw attention to myself, so I dress to conform to office standards, I drive a car that conforms to the ones seen in my neighborhood, and my e-ring is the biggest that I feel confortable wearing. I just like to be inconspicuous. Is that so wrong?

This is the way I am, too. But even though I don't feel comfortable wearing larger bling, I do love seeing photos of it on PS! So I appreciate the efforts of those of you who can pull it off

 

[ksinger]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Why wear a suit to work? Why don shoes to go shopping? Why bother brushing your hair before you hit a nice restaurant?

Because human beings are social animals, and social animals follow social codes.

I don't follow them too, too closely, but I tend to be known as an eccentric. So ... I'll happily wear my big bling most places, but maybe not to faculty meetings if it makes me look out-of-place, and I'll rock my platform boots and my crinoline down to the Village, but maybe not to my husband's business dinner, no matter how pretty they make me feel.

Time and place, dude. What's the saying - you must know the rules in order to break them? You must know them in order to know when to break them, too. Time. And. Place. If it's worth it to you for the bling or the car or the whatever, it's worth it: if you break too many, you may wind up needing to find a different circle. And, hey, sometimes that's worth it, in and of itself ....

Well I was going to say (in reply to the original question), because humans are tribal status-conscious lemmings, but I refrained.

..oh...wait...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

i mean...why give a "F" on how they feel?

i shouldn't sport a honker Ering if they don't? ..i shouldn't drive a $100k car if most of them are driving a $20k car?...

Basing the e-ring on the social circle is not about how others feel, but more about how "I" feel. I don't like to draw attention to myself, so I dress to conform to office standards, I drive a car that conforms to the ones seen in my neighborhood, and my e-ring is the biggest that I feel confortable wearing. I just like to be inconspicuous. Is that so wrong?

yes it is!..from time to time i see members asking... "is a 2ct too big?" ,and sure enough some members would reply..."that depends on the size your circle of friends are wearing"...i mean, who cares! ..i needed to get an approval from my circle of friends before i buy a piece of jewelry?..

 

[AmeliaG]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Why wear a suit to work? Why don shoes to go shopping? Why bother brushing your hair before you hit a nice restaurant?

Because human beings are social animals, and social animals follow social codes.

I don't follow them too, too closely, but I tend to be known as an eccentric. So ... I'll happily wear my big bling most places, but maybe not to faculty meetings if it makes me look out-of-place, and I'll rock my platform boots and my crinoline down to the Village, but maybe not to my husband's business dinner, no matter how pretty they make me feel.

Time and place, dude. What's the saying - you must know the rules in order to break them? You must know them in order to know when to break them, too. Time. And. Place. If it's worth it to you for the bling or the car or the whatever, it's worth it: if you break too many, you may wind up needing to find a different circle. And, hey, sometimes that's worth it, in and of itself ....

I like this answer. I'm pretty original so at the end of the day, I don't care what people think. However, in some of the situations you mentioned, I would conform just like you do because I wouldn't want to deal with the side effects of sticking out.

I also agree that timing is everything.

 

[somethingshiny]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

My ring is bigger and my car is older than EVERY one of my friends. I'm in the who gives an F camp.

In the words of my baby sis, "don't tell me how to live my life."

 

[princesss]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

I think there is something to be said for not sticking out in a negative way - that said, if a guy were to give me a 3ct honker, you bet your butt I would rock it! I haven't seen anything over about 1.5 in my office, but I'd be happy to start the trend of wearing larger stones. But I'm also not customer facing, and the company as a whole isn't very image conscious, so I can't see it mattering. I can definitely see it playing a role in other careers/workplaces, though, and I think that does need to be taken into consideration. I don't want to make my life harder just because I like to sparkle...

 

[lbbaber]

Re: why do people buy/wear jewelry based on their social cir

Not me, I would have NO PROBLEM wearing something that is 5 times bigger than those in my social circle. That being said, sadly mine is just average amongst my current friends and neighbors. When I compare it to my old High School friends mine is much bigger. If they dont like it, I have never heard any negative remarks. If they think badly---too bad for them! I try not to judge others and I hope people dont judge me. I am not going to change anything about myself though in an attempt to stay under the radar. Take me for what I am or walk away.