Why are people so nasty about not having children?

[LaraOnline]

Maybe people are trying to convince you to have kids because they worry you''ll be lonely in old age, or that maybe (just maybe, because us parents are soooooo sensitive and EVERYTHING revolves around our own little darlings...)

..maybe they think that SOMEHOW you don''t like THEIR kids. Or maybe your friends think you don''t like their lifestyle, and maybe you won''t be friends in the future unless you ''jump the fence''.

If you are in your 20s, try to keep an open mind (okay, maybe just a teensy chink) and just nod - but don''t tolerate rudeness. You may not know quite where your life will go, and don''t want everyone crowing ''I told you so''.

If you are over 30, and of sound mind and body, the discussion is over. Tell them to .... . Yeah.

Try this phrase: "Can you not talk to me in this way? I find it very rude."

 

[HollyS]

Date: 4/23/2008 8:42:38 PM
Author: deegee
My husband and I have been married for 13 years and we still get asked when we are going to start a family. Over the years, I have heard remarks like ''I feel so sad for you,'' ''you will regret it later,'' and my favorite, ''your husband would be such a great father - why are you robbing him of the chance to be a dad?'' And then I am told how great it is to be a parent and I don''t know what I''m missing, etc. Lately I have responded ''I''m too old to have kids.'' That doesn''t work either because whoever I''m talking to relates a story about someone they know who is about my age who just had a baby. I give up!

"Why are you robbing him of the chance to be a dad?"

OMG. I think I would go ballistic. The idiot who chose to make that comment to me would get my full, no-holds-barred opinion of their miserable, ugly existence. Because that bit of nastiness could only come from a true @$$.

 

[Dandi]

Date: 4/23/2008 8:38:16 PM
Author: ksinger
Yeah, at 45 and childless, I''ve gotten plenty of it too. I''d step off the politeness wagon, and when they say such things, just say that given the quality of most of the kids you see these days, you''ve decided that while reproduction is a sign of life, it is not necessarily a sign of intelligent life. Then smile sweetly.

OH MY GOD. That is magnificent. I worship you.

I am SO using that when I''m harassed at work about my lack of child-bearing urges!!!

Does my head in, it does.

 

[allycat0303]

I don''t get it either.

Someone told me I was a ''''screwed up woman''''

Which was funny. I think it''s because it''s one of those things that society believe is natural and necessary. And to hear of a woman who doesn''t want children makes us less of a woman somehow.

It''s so expected, that I have driven myself crazy with ''''why don''t I want, what''s wrong with me??'''' with lots of thought, I finally figured it out, I raised my sister and brother. Fed, nurtured etc. And it was SO SO hard, that I don''t know if I want to repeat the experience.

It''s one of those things people who are on one side of the issue can never understand why anyone else thinks different. I just wish that people were a little more open minded.

 

[nytemist]

Now that we''re coming up on Mother''s Day, my friend (who has promised twice now to stop bugging me about the topic, so much for that) said to me in an email that she feels bad for ''people like me'' that won''t get a gift or recognition of smile from a child who loves me that morning. How could I miss out on that?

I wrote back.

"I''m not missing out; we will be busy doing other things that morning, you know practice make perfect. By what you''ve told me, you don''t do that anymore."

I know it sounded mean, but she really needs to let it go.