Who''s suppose to pay for dresses?

[cutes814]

Hi, I was wondering, who is suppose to pay for the Matron of Honor's and bridesmaids' dresses? Them or you? Or do you pay for the MOH and the BMs pay for their own?

 

[ammayernyc]

I''ve been a bridesmaid twice and I had to purchase my own dress both times.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 11/22/2005 5:25:29 PM
Author: AmandaPanda
I''ve been a bridesmaid twice and I had to purchase my own dress both times.

same here. although- with one, i got to pick it out. also her family paid for the alterations.

 

[AndyRosse]

I''m paying for the MOH''s because she really cannot afford any extra expenses right now.

But all the weddings I have been to, the bridesmaids all paid for their dresses including the MOH.

 

[Kaleigh]

I got married almost 20 years ago, but my bridesmaids paid for their dresses as did my MOH. All the weddings I have been in I had to pay for my bridesmaid dresses. I saw this and was wondering if things have changed since I got married many moons ago, guess it''s still the same pretty much.

 

[flopkins]

I wanted to pay for my bm dresses but they wouldn''t let me~! ah well. I paid for my dress when I was a bm too though, so I guess it all evens out.

 

[AChiOAlumna]

I''ve always had to pay for my own MOH/BM dresses in all the weddings I''ve been in and my MOH/BMs paid for theirs.

My mom did pay for all of my BMs/MOH make-up sessions on the day of the wedding though.

 

[elepri]

I''ve only been in one wedding where the bride wanted us all to wear the same dresses. She paid for all of them, which was nice of her. Although I wasn''t necessarily expecting it, she certainly got a bigger gift since i didn''t have to pay for the dress.

 

[FireGoddess]

I paid for my own wedding in its entirety, so I couldn't afford to pay for my bridesmaids' and MOH's dresses, though I would have liked to. I have been in 4 other weddings in the past year, and for two I paid for my bridesmaid dress. In the other two (I was a MOH in one, and a bridesmaid in the other) the brides paid for the dresses. It was a very nice gesture, although it wasn't expected of them.

 

[squarediamondlove]

I was wondering about this as well,

I''m actually paying for my bridesmaid dresses. My family though that this was more appropriate. It kind of makes some sense since I am picking the dresses they have to wear. Its weird telling someone this is the dress you have to purchase, even though they may never have wanted it otherwise. I may have a budget though and if they want to go beyond that, they would have to add to it with their money.

Which raises another question what is the cost of brides maid dresses? I figure this is a great post to add this question to. I was thinking of having a budget of $300 (for 4 bridesmaids). Is that too much, too little, or just right?

 

[Blue824]

I''ve had to pay for my own bm dresses. My grandparents paid for the bridesmaids and tux rentals when their children got married. I guess it depends on your budget. I don''t think anyone expects that to be done.

Date: 11/22/2005 9:58:30 PM
Author: Kaleidoscopic

Which raises another question what is the cost of brides maid dresses? I figure this is a great post to add this question to. I was thinking of having a budget of $300 (for 4 bridesmaids). Is that too much, too little, or just right?

$300 each? or total for 4?

 

[squarediamondlove]

$300 each.

 

[aljdewey]

$200-$300 each......plus alterations, likely.

 

[AndyRosse]

Date: 11/23/2005 1:21:18 AM
Author: Kaleidoscopic
$300 each.

$300 is quite a nice budget. Mine were purchased from NetBride.com and were around $110 each

. Of course, that is before alterations.

 

[Tybee]

We''re not going the traditional route at all.
I wasn''t sure that I was even going to have bridesmaids because we''re having a destination wedding, and I didn''t want to force anyone to spend all that money! My three best girlfriends insisted that they would stand up with me whether I asked them to or not! So my three bridesmaids are going to choose their own dresses, but all in the same color. They''ll be buying their own, but the dresses will be ones that they''ve chosen, so I think that will work out. Honestly, I want as little drama as possible!

 

[gingerBcookie]

I''m paying for all the dresses. It''s traditional in Vietnamese weddings for the bride to pay for all the dresses. I''m paying for the entire wedding mysel aso so it''s really hard to find nice dresses for the girls that i can afford!

 

[squarediamondlove]

Are you worried that the tone of the color you picked from bridesmaid to bridesmaid might not match each other? Or are you picking the fabric and they are designing it?

 

[bookworm21]

It may be a cultural thing. When I was a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding, she and her fiance paid for all her bridesmaids' dresses, although alterations were our responsibility. In another friend's wedding, the bridesmaids paid for their own dresses. They come from different cultural backgrounds, and I've noticed that those with similar backgrounds tend to pay for their bridesmaids' dresses.

But there is also a question of financial difficulties for some bridesmaids. My friend chose a bridesmaid dress that cost $350. Alterations cost another $100. So if I had to pay for the dress myself, it would have cost me a total of $400

, not including the costs associated with the bachelorette party and the bridal shower. For some people, the amount of money is affordable. For others, including myself, the extra $400 would have been an extra strain on me, since I had quit my full time job to go back to school.

This is definitely something that depends on the individuals, their beliefs, and possibly, their finances.

ETA: Oops, I meant that it would have cost me a total of $450. Forgive my poor math skills.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Date: 11/23/2005 11:37:15 AM
Author: Tybee
We''re not going the traditional route at all.

I wasn''t sure that I was even going to have bridesmaids because we''re having a destination wedding, and I didn''t want to force anyone to spend all that money! My three best girlfriends insisted that they would stand up with me whether I asked them to or not! So my three bridesmaids are going to choose their own dresses, but all in the same color. They''ll be buying their own, but the dresses will be ones that they''ve chosen, so I think that will work out. Honestly, I want as little drama as possible!

I sort of did this too. Personally it looks strange to me to have adult women wearing the same matching dresses (maybe it''s because as a twin, I was forced to wear the same thing as my sister when we were little), so I just told them to pick a church-appropriate, knee-length black spaghetti strap dress. I also did that because I figured everyone already had that in their closet so no one would have to buy anything new if they didn''t want to.

In the 2 weddings I''ve been in, I''ve bought my own dress. It would be nice to be able to wear them in a non-wedding setting, but so far, they''ve just sat in my closet, never to be worn again.

 

[Tybee]

Date: 11/24/2005 1:01:34 AM
Author: Kaleidoscopic
Are you worried that the tone of the color you picked from bridesmaid to bridesmaid might not match each other? Or are you picking the fabric and they are designing it?

I''m not worried about a thing. I don''t care if they''re all different shades of the same color (green.) Frankly, I''m just pleased that they all want to stand up for me and are willing to travel so far!
Our wedding is going to be very tropical/casual, my FI and I are wearing flip flops. I might feel different if we were having a formal wedding in a church, but, like I said, I''m older. I want our wdding to be very unique. My girl friends are very unique too, I want to celebrate that.

 

[snuga]

I have been in two weddings, and both times I had to purchase the dress. I didn't really see a problem with it, I was honored to be a part in the weddings and wanted to make the day exactly how the bride and groom wanted it. Yes, my dresses are sitting in a closet and yes, I will probably never wear them again.

However, I would never take back the experience of being a bm and standing up for people I love. Just my opinion.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

The dresses I picked out are $150 each and the girls are paying for the dresses themselves. I have always thought this was the norm.

 

[icekid]

from what I know, the dresses are usually paid for by the bms.

I am thinking that we will decide on a designer and color together, and then let each girl choose what dress she likes best. I already feel bad enough about making them spend money on a dress! But this way, maybe it can be something they would like to wear again. Who knows.

 

[codex57]

I believe the norm is that you pick out the dress and they pay for it. That''s how I voted in the poll.

However, we paid for our bridesmaids'' dresses and they paid for any alterations. We gave them the dresses as part of their gift. No big deal since each dress was only $15.

Chinatown baby!

Flower girl was on her own tho. It''s ok, my uncle''s rich and I figured it was better for them to pick out a dress they liked. They might think our stuff is too ghetto. I was told the dress cost like $250! Well, least my little cousin said she really loved her dress. It was really pretty tho. Pretty complicated too for a little girl''s dress.

 

[Kaylyn]

I found this thread while on the "search" function and thought I''d add what I''m doing.

My dresses are being custom-made. My seamstress will be charging my bridesmaids to make the dresses (probably around $50-$75 each), but as part of my "thank you for being in my wedding" gift, I paid for the material to make the dresses ($40 for each bridesmaid). I will also be buying their wedding day jewelry, but this is how I worked out the dresses. That way, it''s affordable for them, and I get exactly the dresses and colors I wanted without having to deal with the constraints of the bridal stores.

 

[Mara]

my girls all paid for their dresses, i paid for their shoes and their jewelry. their dresses were something like $220 and then whatever the costs were for alterations.

in every wedding i have been in i have paid for my own dress and all accessories. so i think if you do anything other than that, it''s kind of a nice to have...but not necessary.

 

[ocbride2007]

Date: 11/23/2005 2:53:46 PM
Author: gingerBcookie
I''m paying for all the dresses. It''s traditional in Vietnamese weddings for the bride to pay for all the dresses. I''m paying for the entire wedding mysel aso so it''s really hard to find nice dresses for the girls that i can afford!

both weddings I have been a bm in were for my fiance''s family, so they were traditional Vietnamese, so I haven''t had to pay. Of course, they were all rental dresses, both the dress and the ao dai. I think, even though I will probably only have one Vietnamese bm, if that, I will still pay for the dresses - but I will probably rent them!! I doubt we will do ao dais, and if we do it will be for me only (and I''d have to have it made - the rental ones rarely are long enough for me, especially in the sleeves). I saw one set of rentals for bm dresses that were $40 each! I haven''t decided yet, but that sounds like a much better option than spending $200 or more on something that they may never wear again, plus alterations!!

 

[Gypsy]

When I having attendants... I was going to pay for my maid of honor''s dress b/c she''s a grad student... but my 1 BM and my matron were going to pay for their own. I was looking at about $200-250 BM'' gowns... and both my Matron and my BM said this would actually save them money as they''d spend easily that much a new dress for our wedding. But then Matron was FSIL (the one I like-- who happens to be very well situation) and my friend who also well situated. I would have paid for the dresses but they really didn''t see any reason for it.

 

[codex57]

Double post... oops

 

[MustangGal]

I paid for my 4 BM''s dresses, but I did find them all on clearence for $20 each . My SIL paid for my dress in her wedding, but not any of the others, and I wasn''t the MOH, I still don''t know why she did

. Those were $175 each, I''ve never worn it since, and it didn''t even sell on ebay for $.99!