Who''s Officiating Your Wedding?

[ellaila]

Just wanted to add my two cents about having a stranger marry you ...

First off, not everyone has the option of NOT havnig a stranger marry them! My fiance and I don''t belong to a temple or a church, nor do we have family members or friends who are ordained.

Second, yes, just picking a stranger''s name out of the phone book doesn''t sound very personal, but that''s not the only option! Ask friends whose weddings you''ve been to and liked who they used. And do research! (I found mine through local Knot reviews and am beyond thrilled with her!) Just because someone hasn''t known you your whole life doesn''t mean that they aren''t capable of making your day incredibly special and, yes, personal. Like I said, so far I''ve only spoken on the phone once with our officiant, and I know that every single wedding she does is an honor for her. I mentioned a few of the names of couples she''s married that I found on the Knot, and she knew every single one of them (truly -- she offered up details about their weddings!) -- and one was a year ago -- so I don''t think that she is a "OK, you''re husband and wife -- now pay me so I can move on!" type of woman. Maybe she doesn''t know the couple personally when they make initial contact, but she does everything she can to get to know the couple, their story, their personalities, and so on by their wedding day, and she incorporates that all into the ceremony.

And I like to think that there are more people like her out there who choose to do this profession because they truly love and respect marriage and what it stands for. Not just to make a buck.

OK, just wanted to throw that out there!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

We are having an officiant who specializes in custom weddings. She''s a reverend, but she has customized our ceremony as a more buddhist, spiritual ceremony than a religious one. She''s absolutely wonderful! She said she wants to meditate and do breathing exercises with me and my fiance before the ceremony to ease my tension. She says this is because she wants us to remember our ceremony and if we''re extremely nervous, we mostly likely won''t. I''m glad I hired her.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 6/9/2006 12:23:44 PM
Author: ellaila
Just wanted to add my two cents about having a stranger marry you ...

First off, not everyone has the option of NOT havnig a stranger marry them! My fiance and I don''t belong to a temple or a church, nor do we have family members or friends who are ordained.

Second, yes, just picking a stranger''s name out of the phone book doesn''t sound very personal, but that''s not the only option! Ask friends whose weddings you''ve been to and liked who they used. And do research! (I found mine through local Knot reviews and am beyond thrilled with her!) Just because someone hasn''t known you your whole life doesn''t mean that they aren''t capable of making your day incredibly special and, yes, personal. Like I said, so far I''ve only spoken on the phone once with our officiant, and I know that every single wedding she does is an honor for her. I mentioned a few of the names of couples she''s married that I found on the Knot, and she knew every single one of them (truly -- she offered up details about their weddings!) -- and one was a year ago -- so I don''t think that she is a ''OK, you''re husband and wife -- now pay me so I can move on!'' type of woman. Maybe she doesn''t know the couple personally when they make initial contact, but she does everything she can to get to know the couple, their story, their personalities, and so on by their wedding day, and she incorporates that all into the ceremony.

And I like to think that there are more people like her out there who choose to do this profession because they truly love and respect marriage and what it stands for. Not just to make a buck.

OK, just wanted to throw that out there!

Well very said!
BTW- I love the idea of repeating the reading/prayer in Hebrew and Spanish.

 

[ellaila]

thank you, thank you verrr'' much, ChargerGrrl!

I feel really lucky to have been able to get the officiant we did - and aphisiglovessae''s sounds fantastic, too! - so I just feel like others shouldn''t rule out "strangers" so quickly.

 

[codex57]

I''m religious, but my wife''s not. We were married by a minister from my cousin''s church cuz my church had "rules" that didn''t permit my preferred minister to do it.

If you''re not religious, get someone who''s not going to be boring. Ask to hear a sample of their speeches.

 

[Kaylyn]

We''re both practicing Catholics. We''re having the head priest at our church preside over the wedding, but our officiant who actually does the wedding vows will be my great uncle Don. He''s been an ordained deacon for something like 25 years now, and he''s one of the sweetest people I know. I''m super excited about having him do it...it gives it such a personal touch.

 

[ocbride2007]

My FI''s family is very Catholic, and I converted from Lutheran to Catholicism three years ago. We originally wanted the priest who taught the classes for my conversion and confirmation, but he has since moved to another parish and it may be hard to get him back to our church. However, what may be a nicer option, is that my FI''s mother has a very good friend who''s son is being ordained as a priest this weekend. He''s a very nice guy, I''ve met him a few times, and actually will be living down the street from us, since they are going to break ground on a new Cathedral by our house soon, and he will be placed there along with the Bishop. So we''re going to his ordination this weekend, and once we get our date set we''ll probably ask him to do it. It will be nice to have someone who is actually a friend of the family who we will see from time to time after the ceremony marry us who is actually ordained in the Catholic faith than a priest that we don''t know that well.

But even then, Catholics are a bit unique in that there is a more extensive premarital counseling program that usually takes place with the priest, so you get a little more conversation with them if you don''t already know them

 

[AmberGretchen]

Hi - just wanted to chime in that I think we have a unique (but very fortunate) situation as well.

We have three (yes, you read that right) people officiating our ceremony. One is the rabbi that is the current head rabbi of the synagogue where my FI and I are members, and where I grew up and had my Bat Mitzvah. One is the rabbi that was the head rabbi there while I was growing up and helped me prepare for my Bat Mitzvah, etc... And the third is a cantor at the temple my father and stepmother are members of - is a really warm, amazingly happy person - he just radiates this feeling of peace and happiness. Plus he has an amazing singing voice.

Also a small side note for OctBride - Jews do the same thing with the extensive premarital counseling, though its not necessarily as formal as for Catholics. But my FI and I took a 12 week class and we''ve been meeting with the rabbi one every 5-6 weeks for almost a year now. Just as an FYI.