Who wore a "non-wedding dress" dress for their wedding?

[sirbenson]

I've finally started searcing for a wedding dress, though I'm not sure I want a wedding dress

I have issues with spending so much money on a single dress that will only be worn once. I'd rather spend the money on the honeymoon or save it for a blingy wedding band.

I am open to used/cheaper dresses though I feel like I'd have to pull a miracle to find one that way since I have something very specific in mind (along the lines of Jim Hjelm's 8663).

I don't want to settle for a cheaper dress just because its what I want to spend if its not a style I love. I'd rather find a formal dress that I love and have the potential to wear again. While part of me thinks when am I ever gonna get to wear a wedding dress again, another part of me thinks if I get a wedding dress when am I ever gonna wear it again?

For those ladies that didn't wear a traditional wedding dress, what did you wear? Looking back, did you make the right decision? Did you disappoint people by wearing a different dress? I know its ultimately what I feel comfortable in and what I feel comfortable spending but I know that my mother and sister would love to see me in a wedding dress (finace things I should get whatever the heck I want and to heck with people's expectations).

Advice?

 

[IrisAccents]

Hi sirbenson!

It seems you and I might have a lot in common in our wedding planning (I just posted my button bouquets on your other thread). Again, I'm going to recommend you check out offbeatbride.com. That site really empowered me to make some non-traditional decisions that I am really excited about!

I knew from the get-go I didn't want a white "wedding dress" but sort of let pressure from people around me get to me. I ended up purchasing a dress at the running of the brides for really cheap, and then found myself trying to add lots of color to it in the form of accessories. It was exhausting. I finally came to the conclusion, after realizing I'd need to sink a few hundred into the dress to have it cleaned, altered, and bustled, that my money was better spent on something I'd always wanted and something that I'd wear again.

I purchased a custom corset and couldn't be happier! I am blessed that my mother is a wonderful seamstress, and she is almost done making my skirt. I went for an 1890's silhouette and I feel so beautiful in the ensemble. The best part is, I know I'll wear the corset over and over because, being in theatre, I am always attending costume parties!

I haven't gotten married yet (my wedding is on Halloween- 30 days- eek!!) but the reaction has been nothing but positive so far.

I say- go with what you want! There are so many options out there other than just the customary white wedding dress.

 

[sirbenson]

Thanks for posting! The corset looks amazing on you! I've been checking out offbeatbride here and there and its great for non traditional ideas. In the end, I will do what makes me happy and if that means a non traditional wedding dress so be it. I've been scouring webistes for hours looking for options to rent, bridesmaid dresses that would work, formal dresses that I'd like....nothing so far. The *easy* and predictable things would be to bite the bullet and go try on traditional gowns but I want to make an good effort at finding something else that is special that I'd love and that won't break the bank.

 

[slg47]

FrekeChild had a non-traditional wedding dress...maybe she will chime in. I think you can find pictures of her gown on the 'show me your dress' thread or 'favorite dress photo' in newlyweds

 

[FrekeChild]

I wore silver. Badgley Mischka evening gown. Bought for $450 on Bluefly.com. 20 pounds later I only needed a $10 hemming job.

Pic attached.

I had kind of an unlimited budget (as in, my dad was paying and he didn't give me a budget, but he did have a cow at the cost of certain things...) but the ideal dress that I wanted was probably something he would have had a $#!+ fit over and I'd had to have had it custom made...you may have seen it before (Nina Ricci attached). Musey here on PS originally found the dress I got back when I was a LIW and not engaged--and it was still full price at $900ish, and I didn't think my parents would be keen on buying a dress before I was engaged.

Then I found it AFTER I was engaged, for basically half price and I couldn't have been happier. Kismet and all that.

Even though i wanted the Nina, I was fine with the BM, and I don't feel like I settled.

Everyone remembers my dress. I imagine they will for a long time.

But I had a damn wedding dress when I was a damn debutante, and I didn't want to repeat that experience/feeling. Not to mention the stupid debutante ball was held in a HUGE venue where they would have car shows sometimes. Oil, tire residue, dirt and grime are never going to come out of my debutante dress since it was white white, and it's so disappointing that that dress was so freaking expensive (Ok, $600, but it was 10 years ago) and I'll never even be able to wear it again...

I dunno. Mixed feelings on the white dress deal. But at least if I wear the silver dress again, no one will KNOW it's a wedding dress. Speaking of, it made it really easy to go incognito in Vegas. Just about everyone thought I was just really dressed up--which was nice. I didn't get harassed nearly as much as I was afraid of! None of that "OMG CONGRATULATIONS!" that this other white-wearing-bride I ran into got...

Screw expectations. Wear what you want and what you love! (For the record my husband figured I wouldn't wear white. I shocked him with silver, because he was expecting blue. The only thing he could say about the dress was, "It's perfect. It's just perfect." Lol.)

 

[MishB]

I'm not a big foofy dress wearer at any other time so I wasn't about to change my style just to get married. I wore a white pantsuit.

 

[sirbenson]

FrekeChild: Wow....stunning. Your example further proves to me that a formal dress can be even better than a typical while gown.

I'm not a big foofy dress wearer at any other time so I wasn't about to change my style just to get married. I wore a white pantsuit.

Great point. I've never grown up dreaming up myself in a white wedding dress. So why would I bother doing so "just because"?

 

[Winks_Elf]

I did! I wore a Calvin Klein evening gown in coffee silk, with an ivory veil. It has a lace bolero that goes with it, and a little fishtail train. I got it at Lohman's on clearance for $78, and had it in my closet for over a year and a half before we got married! I had bought it with the intention fo wearing it for New Year's Eve, but never wore it until we got married.

 

[that_someone_special]

I wanted to do a colored dress but then didn't because I thought I would miss out and be sad on not having a proper wedding dress. NOW I wish I wouldve just done it. Too late now..

 

[iheartscience]

I didn't think I would wear an actual wedding dress for my wedding, but I ended up with a non-traditional wedding dress. It was the Aurora by Amsale and was light pink. I love it but will definitely never wear it again although I could in theory, I suppose. I certainly don't regret that, though! I like to buy a new dress when I'm just a guest at a wedding, so it's not like I would really wear a "non-wedding dress" dress again anyway.

 

[pancake]

I wore a BCBG evening gown - light tea/nude coloured, strapless, floor-length, sort of tiered (not "ruffly" - just in bands of fabric). It was 100% more "me" than the first dress I bought, which was a flowing strapless silk chiffon-over-satin gown in ivory. Fortuitously my dress ended up costing just a tick over $300 (my shoes were much more expensive than my dress!) and I NEVER would have imagined I would buy a dress for that little - I am a fashion tragic ! My friends/family couldn't believe it either

It got great reactions - it is one of the first things that people have commented on in looking at our photographs.

 

[Diamondhalo]

I wanted to do a colored dress but then didn't because I thought I would miss out and be sad on not having a proper wedding dress. NOW I wish I wouldve just done it. Too late now..

Ladies I need some advice.. I have already ordered and paid for a custom Marianna Hardwick gown...18months before the first fitting (!) now it's about 12 months away and I'm having dress regret..

I am seriously considering cancelling the order, I'd lose 20% about 1.5k! But I'm really lusting over a coloured dress...so some advice is in order:

I've got three photo's here, the last image is basically the first dress I decided on, it's stunning, feminine, gives me a fantastic shape and I feel like a million dollars in it. Light Ivory, heavy glass bead details and a french train. Bolero to be confirmed.

But I really want a coloured dress, I'm only just starting to look and I found these while googling (I don't know how I'm going to actually find a retailer for them - any help much appreciated, if you know a designer who makes similar evening gowns please post their websites) I've looked at Bloomingdales, Nordstrom and net-a-porter, nothing similar to these:

Blue gown on the right (I don't really like the one on the left) and I rather like this floaty purple chiffon confection.

Is this too much colour? Should I stick to a sash? Will I regret wasting money to cancel my MH contract? (I know that's a yes, just wanted to ask anyway). Will I regret not having a 'proper' white wedding? Do I have to feel 'bridal' - will I be missing out on some extrodinary magical life moment? Can I still feel bridal in the blue and white one-shouldered gown? (SJP married in black, yes she looked stunning but she's often been quoted saying she regretted not having a big ol' white do'...

Questions for those of you who went with a drastically non-wedding wedding dress, any reflections you can offer a very indecisive gal?

While I like the dress I've already chosen, I didn't have that 'moment' where I *just knew* it was the one. Should I keep looking or settle? I know I'm just looking for a dress not a cure for cancer but why does it feel so important?!

Halo

 

[Rae~]

I haven't picked a dress yet (yeck, not officially engaged yet, either!!) but I am dreading the search for what to wear.... I'd love to find something non-wedding-dress-y. This thread has been great for some general ideas.

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Diamondhalo, I know what you mean. I found a dress that I would love to get married in someday, but it is quite simple and it's also a light blue/purple color with no white in it - not at all bridal. When I showed my sister she said that it's very pretty, but it's not a wedding dress. I didn't buy it (I'm not even engaged, so that would be strange), so I suppose if it is still available when I get married I will have to seriously consider it. I've never really been attracted to the classic white gowns, but would I regret wearing something different on my wedding day?
After some deliberation, I think the answer is no. Your wedding gown should make you feel gorgeous and glam, and if a colored gown is going to accomplish that better than a white gown, then go for it. I think you will still feel and look very "bridal" with a bouquet and maybe a veil (I love birdcage veils, and they will work with any color).

 

[slg47]

it's stunning, feminine, gives me a fantastic shape and I feel like a million dollars in it

so what's the problem? I think it's normal to have some doubts about your dress, especially if you haven't seen it in a while. plus, you can always get a colored dress for the reception?

 

[Loves Vintage]

SB - Your post reminded me of MMM's wedding dress, which was actually a bridesmaid dress: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/mmm-professional-pictures.111170/ I believe she also had a thread specifically about the dress, which was much less expensive than a wedding dress. I always thought this was such a great idea!!

 

[blueberrydot]

I was thinking about this, and perhaps it would be a possibility to have your dress dyed after you wear it? I took a look at the Jim Hjelm 8663 and was thinking it would be lovely in black, and it could be shortened or left long. Since it's silk and lace, I *think* it could be dyed without a problem (not sure about this, though - I'm not an expert!). It might be something you'd want to look into if you really want to be able to wear your wedding dress after the big day!

 

[sirbenson]

Well I think I found the dress:

http://www.jasminebridal.com/J_2_1_1_1.aspx?sqno=JPN20110739&j_style_no=STYL20080821006&j_line_no=LINE20080821017&j_line_season=F

Except I'd get it in a light colour like their latte or oyster colour with a different coloured sash. The dress fits me the best of all the dresses I've tried on. I tried on some more detailed Enzoani dresses but I find that the Belsoie (one above in link) can go many way. For example I could do a bird cage veil or a fancy hair clip plus a blingy brooch on the sash with some blingy chandelier earrings.

This is the runner up:

http://www.bestbridalprices.com/enzoani-love-evening-dresses-style-ma6-p-51631.html

But the more and more I tried on the runner up the less and less I liked it.

I am definately sure a non wedding dress dress is for me. While shopping at bridal stores to chekc out their bridesmaids collections I relaly felt uncomfortable when going thru the racks of wedding dresses just to have a look. They were all so.....fussy....busy....or something like that. Or I'd like them just till below the waist and them they'd puff out or get all big. Just not me.


Any other ideas on how to spice up the dress I posted (first one)? Also What colour shoes would I have to wear with a short dress? The same colur as the dress?

 

[pancake]

sirbenson - I love that first dress you posted! I love that fitted and tiered look - I wore this dress in a light tea/nude kind of colour.

I would definitely do a birdcage veil, perhaps attached to a disc-type hat if that's your thing? You could play up the 40s factor with gloves and pumps if you wanted to, otherwise I would go with fairly bold jewellery (nothing too delicate or busy). I love the dress and would wear it myself for sure!

 

[sirbenson]

sirbenson - I love that first dress you posted! I love that fitted and tiered look - I wore this dress in a light tea/nude kind of colour.

I would definitely do a birdcage veil, perhaps attached to a disc-type hat if that's your thing? You could play up the 40s factor with gloves and pumps if you wanted to, otherwise I would go with fairly bold jewellery (nothing too delicate or busy). I love the dress and would wear it myself for sure!

oooohhh....I love the dress you wore? From where?

 

[paris29]

I will be wearing a non-wedding dress on the day of my wedding. It seems I waited to long to place my order and they couldn't guarantee my wedding dress would arrive on time, So I am wearing the dress I was going to wear to our Celebration party later in the evening during the ceremony as well.

 

[sirbenson]

I will be wearing a non-wedding dress on the day of my wedding. It seems I waited to long to place my order and they couldn't guarantee my wedding dress would arrive on time, So I am wearing the dress I was going to wear to our Celebration party later in the evening during the ceremony as well.

Wow! Hot hot hot! I would love to wear something like that but I have a wee issue with my knees showing as I hate my knees

Where is that dress from?

 

[pancake]

sirbenson - my dress was from BCBG and cost a fraction of what I thought it would after seeing it randomly in a window 10 days before my wedding!! Here is a pic of the dress in white so you can see the detail a little better; I haven't been able to find online pics of the colour I had.

 

[paris29]

I will be wearing a non-wedding dress on the day of my wedding. It seems I waited to long to place my order and they couldn't guarantee my wedding dress would arrive on time, So I am wearing the dress I was going to wear to our Celebration party later in the evening during the ceremony as well.

Wow! Hot hot hot! I would love to wear something like that but I have a wee issue with my knees showing as I hate my knees

Where is that dress from?

Thanks, I'm excited to wear it. It's a Herve Leger dress from Saks. I'm sure you would look great in a dress like this one.

 

[UnderBlue]

I wore a non-white bridesmaids dress for $150-ish that I plan on reselling.

I had one friend that freaked out a bit, but that's not my problem and she was fine by the time of the wedding. Everyone else was supportive too. I didn't want a white dress. It was a bit of a pain to find something, but I did and I definitely don't regret it.

 

[DiamondBabe81]

I got married on a very hot and humid month in Florida. It was done at Leu Gardens and wearing a long bridal gown may be unsuitable because of the warm weather. I wore an empire waist, open-back, above the knee dress. It was so feminine and flouncy. I accessorized it with pearls and donned a pair of elegant silver strappy sandals. I love it and it was the perfect ensemble for a summer wedding.

 

[chemgirl]

My dress was from BCBG. It looks like a wedding dress, but I bought it at a half off sale so it was under $300.

I've attached a picture of the dress with a champagne colored sash. Mine wad a black sash and I wore black peep toe shoes and Tahitian pearl earings. It was different, but still weddingy so I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

I originally had a black knee length dress that was fantastic, but my friends talked me out of wearing black to my own wedding. I'm glad they did because I like having more traditional wedding pictures.

 

[chemgirl]

Here's one of me freezing my butt off.

 

[marymm]

I also didn't see myself in a traditional wedding-style dress - just not me. I actually went to Macy's and was trying on loads of dresses - short, long, print, solid, floaty, ruffled, streamlined - then I slipped on a dress that was perhaps the most wedding-y of all the dresses I had schlepped into the dressing room - and even as I put it on I knew it was "the one" - and when my head popped out and I saw myself in the mirror, I was a bride. It was a tea-length ivory lace dress with deep scoop neck, flutter sleeves and tie-back sash, princess-seamed bodice with three small ivory satin rosette (fake) buttons and fuller skirt. I wore it with my great-grandmother's ivory carved rose pendant and earrings, and high-heeled cream tapestry lace-up boots (sounds strange, but it worked and was "me"). The veil I wore cost more than the dress, which was less than $100...

Funnily enough, I just put it on again last week (going through my closet spring-cleaning), and it is still "the one" - it makes me feel and look beautiful in a way no other dress has ever done.

 

[jstarfireb]

I'm really envious of all you ladies who wore non-traditional dresses! My dress was very traditional...white, train, satin, the whole deal...and if I could do it over again, I would have picked something totally different and something I could wear again! Silver/grey would have been great. So if you're thinking about going non-traditional, go with your gut and don't let anyone else hold you back!