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who pays for honeymoon?

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sammyjoey

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my fiancee and i have read that it is generally the groom''s family''s responsibility to pay for the honeymoon. is this basically how it works? my family (groom''s) seems pretty reluctant to help pay for it - i believe they view it more as a vacation that we should pay for rather than part of the wedding. are we on our own here or should i expect them to help us out more on this one?
 

robbie3982

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Jun 28, 2006
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I''ve never heard of it being anyone''s responsibility other than the bride and groom''s. We''re paying for our own.
 

laine

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Feb 21, 2006
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While there are many traditions as to who pays for what regarding weddings, no one is required to pay anything. If the families are able and willing to pay for things, thats wonderful, and should be appreciated. If not, well, it happens, and many couples end up paying for everything themselves.

My parents had never heard that the grooms family pays for the honeymoon (it came up in conversation once), so this may not even be the tradition everywhere. Also, it seems to be that parents tend to recreate what was done for their wedding, so if Dad's parents didn't pay for their honeymoon, they may be less likely to pay for their son's.
 

musey

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It really depends on the cultural background of the family. I grew up in the midwest, where people tend to follow that tradition (bride''s family pays for wedding, groom''s family for honeymoon & rehearsal dinner). For us, it just served as a better reference than trying to hash out who pays for what from scratch, because otherwise there would have been a lot of "well, okay, we''ll pay for the officiant''s fee" and "I guess we''ll cover the flowers" which wasn''t worth the time! Both our parents wanted to contribute, but didn''t know to what, so we decided to follow that tradition to make everything fair. It has helped keep the peace (except for FI''s father''s "this is ridiculous, who came up with this!?" comments...)

Those traditions were put in place so long ago, though, and for most people there is really no reason to swear by them... Especially since there are about a zillion other traditions from different parts of the world dictating who pays for what and how.


I personally think that if all parties have the means to contribute, that it''s unfair for one side to pay for everything and the other side to refuse to conrtibute. However, it should be the parents''/family''s initiative to offer to pay, not the bride and groom forcing them into it! If they don''t want to pay, don''t make them pay--you may regret it later...
 

Pandora II

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In the UK traditionally:

Bride''s family pay for:

Reception
Flowers for reception venue
Buttonholes
Dress
BM''s dresses

Groom pays for:

Licenses
Cars
Bride''s bouquet
BM''s flowers
Rings
Honeymoon
Groom''s outfit

Groom''s family don''t normally pay for anything - all on the groom.

99% of people I know pay for their own honeymoon.

In my case, my father is paying for nearly everything. FI and I are paying for all the licenses, my dress, BM''s dresses, extras and rings. FI thinks his father will offer to pay for our honeymoon, but I''m not counting on it. He is very generous, but I don''t like to presume.
 

FireGoddess

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Jan 25, 2005
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I''ve always thought you pay for your own. The groom''s family is ''traditionally'' responsible for paying for the rehearsal dinner. But the honeymoon? Didn''t think so.
 

sumbride

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Feb 17, 2006
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Ha... My FI saw that on the "guideline" sheet last month and almost blew a gasket! As if! The RD was hard enough to arrange. We''re planning on paying for our own. My parents graciously gave us airline miles for our tickets, which saved us a couple thousand dollars, but I doubt they will pay for the trip itself. If they do, we''ll be very grateful, but at the moment we''re planning on footing the bill ourselves.

I told my FI about the bouquet and such and he agreed to pay for them, but since it would be coming out of his pocket, and not his parent''s, my mom just kept them in the part of the budget she''s paying for. Very sweet.
 

Gwyn

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Date: 4/10/2007 1:22:36 PM
Author: Pandora II
In the UK traditionally:

Bride''s family pay for:

Reception
Flowers for reception venue
Buttonholes
Dress
BM''s dresses

Groom pays for:

Licenses
Cars
Bride''s bouquet
BM''s flowers
Rings
Honeymoon
Groom''s outfit

Groom''s family don''t normally pay for anything - all on the groom.

99% of people I know pay for their own honeymoon.

In my case, my father is paying for nearly everything. FI and I are paying for all the licenses, my dress, BM''s dresses, extras and rings. FI thinks his father will offer to pay for our honeymoon, but I''m not counting on it. He is very generous, but I don''t like to presume.
I this this is mostly accurate. Usually the bride and groom buy each others rings. and the Grooms family is usually responsible for hosting the rehersal dinner.

The groom, not his family, is charged with paying for the honeymoon. i think
 

firstbase32

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May 12, 2006
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366
We''re paying for our own honeymoon too. The only time I thought my parents were offering to pay for the honeymoon is if we got married in Florida or Jamaica or something. My parents knew the stress that would bring on us with planning a wedding for 200+ people and figured they would pay for us to have a small wedding somewhere else instead of a larger wedding here. At the time we said no way because we wanted a wedding here with our friends...but now all the stuff gets crazy we hate that we turned it down.

Also if my parents or her parents were offering to pay for the honeymoon I would be very cautious. I would want to choose everythign about the honeymoon and not worrying about what her parents thought about the resort we decided to pick or what time our flight left or what not. It would just create more frustration than it should.
 

Tacori E-ring

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20,038
My DH paid for ours.
 

akw94

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Feb 10, 2006
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1,937
My FI''s parents gave us some $ and asked that we put part of it toward the honeymoon so... they''re paying for a bit and we''re paying for the rest.
We''re also going to register for honeymoon stuff to help w/the cost, especially since we don''t need a lot of household stuff.
 

monarch64

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We paid for the majority of our honeymoon, but DH''s parents'' wedding gift to us was some "mad money" in the form of cash we could take to Vegas with us on the honeymoon...it was definitely a great gift!
 

swingirl

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Apr 6, 2006
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5,654
Keep in mind some of these "traditions" were set in place because the bride and groom still lived with their parents, the bride had no income and the groom might just be starting out. But nowadays both bride and groom have jobs, decent incomes, apartments, houses and a lot of disposable income so it seems silly to expect the old traditions to be appropriate anymore.

I''m from the midwest and even my parents who got married in 1947 paid for their own honeymoon since they both had jobs and were buying a house. Speaking of traditions, a honeymoon was usually taken because back in the day of arranged marriages it gave the newlyweds a little time to get to know one another before they got back into the daily grind. It seems nowadays most couples are already living together or very well aquainted so that the honeymoon is just a nice vacation after months of stressful wedding planning. It''s understandable that the groom''s parents wouldn''t want to pay for that.

Take a honeymoon that you can afford.
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Aug 12, 2005
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17,758
Date: 4/13/2007 1:01:48 AM
Author: swingirl
Keep in mind some of these ''traditions'' were set in place because the bride and groom still lived with their parents, the bride had no income and the groom might just be starting out. But nowadays both bride and groom have jobs, decent incomes, apartments, houses and a lot of disposable income so it seems silly to expect the old traditions to be appropriate anymore.

I''m from the midwest and even my parents who got married in 1947 paid for their own honeymoon since they both had jobs and were buying a house. Speaking of traditions, a honeymoon was usually taken because back in the day of arranged marriages it gave the newlyweds a little time to get to know one another before they got back into the daily grind. It seems nowadays most couples are already living together or very well aquainted so that the honeymoon is just a nice vacation after months of stressful wedding planning. It''s understandable that the groom''s parents wouldn''t want to pay for that.

Take a honeymoon that you can afford.
Wow, swingirl you hit the nail on the head IMO! Very astute explanation!
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
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3,867
One of my co-workers has a honeymoon registry with Marriott... just little extras for the honeymoon, like breakfast in bed, massages, wine with dinner, etc... This is one of the few I''ve seen that doesn''t take a cut. I just bought them 1 morning at the breakfast buffet and I had fun with it, plus it helped since I forgot to buy a gift for the shower today! I don''t really know her well enough to buy something for the house, but I know she loves breakfast since I see her cook it in the work kitchen every morning!


I am personally not doing a honeymoon registry, but I still think they''re kind of cool for the untraditional couple!
 
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