Who gets the bling?

[Julian]

What''s tradition when it comes to passing down family bling?

Do you pass your diamonds down to your son to give to his bride-to-be or to your daughter?

What will you do?

I think I would give them to my daughter. I know the son carries the family name, but shouldn''t it be from direct relative to direct relative? Or does it matter?

 

[monarch64]

They are going to have to pry them off my cold dead body. Just kidding. Well, not really. LOL!

 

[SoonIHope]

In my family it''s generally more of a "daughter" thing, than daughter in law. That said, my grandmother did give my dad a ring to propose to my mom with! We also had one ring that was owned by ~4 generations of Anne''s, so they went to the niece or the first cousin once removed or whoever the next Anne was (hehe until me! No Annes in my generation, mwahaha). For me personally, I think I''d want most of my jewelry to go to my (future) daughter(s), but I would still like to give one or two pieces to any daughters-in-law. My mom gave an old family piece to my brother''s wife right before they got married and she was really touched, and I love that real "welcoming into the family" idea. That said, my mom did consult with me about which jewelry I really wanted before passing anything on to her.

The last names thing couldn''t matter less to me, especially since in my family at least, more of the women seem to care about the family heritage aspects so it MEANS more to have family pieces!

 

[SoonIHope]

Haha, scratch all that, I like Monarch''s answer better!

 

[Ann]

Just had this conversation with my husband
doers daughter or son get it?

my answer was to have plenty to divide!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

That''s a toughie as my kids want the same pieces. Now some of the stuff that Nanny gave me will go to my daughter as that was her wish. Hopefully I won''t have to think about this anytime soon. My ering will go to my son, my Leon will go to my daughter. The asscher, well they''ll have to fight over that one as they both love it.

 

[Julian]

Yes, I just never knew what the protocol was... maybe there isn't a hard & fast rule!

Monarch, you cracked me up! Not to be morbid, but don't some people get buried with their beloved jewelry?

I know I would want to pass on my diamonds, but I'd like to at least keep my wedding ring!

Anyway, on to happier subjects!!! Passing on bling (while alive and well!) would be a great excuse for an upgrade!

 

[dtnyc]

Date: 11/30/2006 4:08:08 PM
Author: Kaleigh
That''s a toughie as my kids want the same pieces. Now some of the stuff that Nanny gave me will go to my daughter as that was her wish. Hopefully I won''t have to think about this anytime soon. My ering will go to my son, my Leon will go to my daughter. The asscher, well they''ll have to fight over that one as they both love it.

My husband was given A stone from a massive family necklace that had belonged to his paternal grandmother. His mom and sister aren''t that "into" jewelry (his mom''s exact words) and originally they said that he could have some more of the necklace to make me another piece, but then his mom said no, his sister gets the rest of it. So in my husband''s family I guess they divide it up. I know that his paternal grandmother left something to each of her 3 kids- 2 daughters, 1 son. I think that the daughters got the best stuff though as they both have rings that make mine seem tiny.

I know my mom will probably divide her stuff up.

 

[Julian]

Date: 11/30/2006 4:06:02 PM
Author: albicocca
In my family it''s generally more of a ''daughter'' thing, than daughter in law. That said, my grandmother did give my dad a ring to propose to my mom with! We also had one ring that was owned by ~4 generations of Anne''s, so they went to the niece or the first cousin once removed or whoever the next Anne was (hehe until me! No Annes in my generation, mwahaha). For me personally, I think I''d want most of my jewelry to go to my (future) daughter(s), but I would still like to give one or two pieces to any daughters-in-law. My mom gave an old family piece to my brother''s wife right before they got married and she was really touched, and I love that real ''welcoming into the family'' idea. That said, my mom did consult with me about which jewelry I really wanted before passing anything on to her.

The last names thing couldn''t matter less to me, especially since in my family at least, more of the women seem to care about the family heritage aspects so it MEANS more to have family pieces!

I agree. Also, I would be heartbroken if my future son (sooooo getting ahead of myself here LOL) divorced. Would the ex-wife give back the family diamonds? At least when you give your daughter the diamonds, you know they will stay within the family forever.

 

[Julian]

Dtnyc, you are so lucky to get a family diamond. I think that is the highest honor, really.

Funny story: my mom has a diamond set aside for my future SIL but then my brother started dating a girl she didn't like so much so she decided against it. (I'm trying to convince her that once they marry, she's her daughter no matter what. And that means she HAS to love her like she does me!) Let's cross our fingers for no family drama!

So getting a family stone REALLY means a lot -- not only are you family, but they love you like one of their own. And no matter what happens, that bond is there for life. So I guess I answered my own question -- it's the same! Guess I'll divide equally, too.

 

[dtnyc]

Date: 11/30/2006 4:23:21 PM
Author: Julian
Dtnyc, you are so lucky to get a family diamond. I think that is the highest honor, really.

So getting a family stone REALLY means a lot -- not only are you family, but they love you like one of their own. And no matter what happens, that bond is there for life. So I guess I answered my own question -- it''s the same! Guess I''ll divide equally, too.

I realize it''s an honor - BUT both my DH and I hate the fact that my MIL tells everyone every chance she gets that the main stone in my ring is from her MIL. It''s a bit embarassing to my DH specifically- she never mentions the fact that he got a jeweler to make a unique setting, etc.

What bothers me about her constant harping is that the stone isn''t even from her side of the family, but she can''t stop bragging about it and as I said she is not that "into" jewelry so she doesn''t realize that the stone isn''t all that great- it''s big, but it has a lot of color M. My side stones are I-J and you can tell.

I also think that it''s a high honor to get a ring you really love and to be consulted about it before hand. While I love my ring, I hate being reminded of it''s orgin at every family function.

 

[Independent Gal]

My mom and I just had this talk when she was visiting last week. She''s not all that into jewels, and had only her gold w-band until recently her MIL gave her two diamonds. One''s a knock-out, super white sparkler, about 1 ct adn the other, a nearly 3 ct honker that''s a bit yellow and not quite as pretty. She had the bigger one set and wears it all the time. That one, she says, will be for me one day. My brother gets the pretty one for a future FI. Aw?! It''s funny, because I think she meant it as giving me the ''better'' diamond. But I''d rather have the smaller, sparklier sparkly!

But frankly, that kind of talk always gives me the heebiejeebies (how do you spell that?) I''d rather mom just stuck around indefinitely. I sure love diamonds, but she''s the sparkliest, most fiery, and most beautiful thing I know.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/30/2006 6:16:00 PM
Author: Independent Gal
My mom and I just had this talk when she was visiting last week. She''s not all that into jewels, and had only her gold w-band until recently her MIL gave her two diamonds. One''s a knock-out, super white sparkler, about 1 ct adn the other, a nearly 3 ct honker that''s a bit yellow and not quite as pretty. She had the bigger one set and wears it all the time. That one, she says, will be for me one day. My brother gets the pretty one for a future FI. Aw?! It''s funny, because I think she meant it as giving me the ''better'' diamond. But I''d rather have the smaller, sparklier sparkly!

But frankly, that kind of talk always gives me the heebiejeebies (how do you spell that?) I''d rather mom just stuck around indefinitely. I sure love diamonds, but she''s the sparkliest, most fiery, and most beautiful thing I know.

That''s so sweet!!!!

 

[sumbride]

Date: 11/30/2006 4:14:45 PM
Author: Julian

Anyway, on to happier subjects!!! Passing on bling (while alive and well!) would be a great excuse for an upgrade!

That''s how my mom worked it. My oldest brother was only 22 when he decided to propose. He was still in college and had no money but he was in LOOOOOOVVVEEEE. My mom gave him her diamond and upgraded her own ring! Then about 2 years later, my other brother decided HE was ready. Mom gave him her stone but she couldn''t afford to go up another step at that point so she replaced her diamond with a beautiful sapphire... but she couldn''t wear the ring until after he proposed because she didn''t want anybody to know his secret!!! The first brother did see it though and said he was going to have to have a talk with Dad because obviously something must be wrong since her "diamond turned blue". He knew what was up, but had to make a joke about it.

She said she would replace the sapphire with a big stone when she could afford it... but after paying for both boys share of their weddings, then college for me, then getting me out on my own in the world, and now my wedding, and the grandkids''s private school tuition, her "diamond" is still blue. And she loves it.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I''m planning to give everything to my daughter.... I don''t know these maybesomeday dil''s yet so I might change my mind down the road.... but at least this cushionomc is going to my daughter and likely the earrings and probably everything else also. I *did* tell her though when I was telling her I was going to give her this ring/stone that it would be for her right hand and she still had to get her *own* engagement ring

 

[darling]

Date: 11/30/2006 7:32:07 PM
Author: sumbride


That''s how my mom worked it. My oldest brother was only 22 when he decided to propose. He was still in college and had no money but he was in LOOOOOOVVVEEEE. My mom gave him her diamond and upgraded her own ring! Then about 2 years later, my other brother decided HE was ready. Mom gave him her stone but she couldn''t afford to go up another step at that point so she replaced her diamond with a beautiful sapphire... but she couldn''t wear the ring until after he proposed because she didn''t want anybody to know his secret!!! The first brother did see it though and said he was going to have to have a talk with Dad because obviously something must be wrong since her ''diamond turned blue''. He knew what was up, but had to make a joke about it.

She said she would replace the sapphire with a big stone when she could afford it... but after paying for both boys share of their weddings, then college for me, then getting me out on my own in the world, and now my wedding, and the grandkids''s private school tuition, her ''diamond'' is still blue. And she loves it.

That''s a funny & lovely story.

 

[Blenheim]

I''d love to have my FMIL pass on her rings* to me, but it doesn''t look like it will happen. Over Thanksgiving, she kept saying that she''s going to be buried in them and my FSIL kept telling her that she''s going to dig up her body to steal her jewelry.


* Sidestory I don''t think I''ve told here: She went with FI to pick up my engagement ring from Quest when it was done, and liked them so much she decided to upgrade through them. She now has a ~1.5 carat round center stone with four sidestones, designed to match her five stone ring that she mostly wears on her right hand. I might have to borrow it sometime over Christmas to take pictures.

 

[fire&ice]

I have my Hubby''s grandmother''s engagement ring. I save everyone the long story - but I never really thought of it as *my* engagement ring. Since hubby gave me my anni stone, the ring has been in my lock box. After talking to many members of the family, we thought that Grandmother''s intention would be to give it to my nephew (hubby''s side) as he is in a serious relationship with a very nice gal. We decided upon no restrictions as to keeping in orginial setting, etc. A gift is a gift. I would hope that if the marriage desolves that it would remain in the family. It is out of our control though.

For what it''s worth, this is the decision we made after much soul searching.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

In my family it seems to go to all of the girls. My grandmother gave me her ring, my cousin has my great grandmothers ring, and my sister has my mothers. My mom also had a 3 stone ring that will go to my niece (although I really think my dad should just divide the 3 diamonds

between us). I also have another ring (not wedding) from my other great grandmother. That being said, my brother is getting a huge piece of antique furniture that is probably worth more than the rings!

 

[AmberWaves]

Well, I have a slightly morbid story that goes with this! Our family is po''. Okay, not poor poor, but we aren''t really a diamond buying family, in fact, I''m the only "first e-ring w/diamond stone" owner in the family, the others all got theirs after being married for bagillions of years. Anyway, my beloved grandma passed away 10 years ago, and my wickedly evil aunt took her ring, (word is, right off the finger in the casket

) and kept it, saying Grandma said she could have it. Years later, Cruella decided I was her favorite of the nieces and nephews and gave me the ring. So, now I have this ill-gotten ring, and while cherished, feel torn as to what to do with it. This is the only thing I have from my grandma, my other cousins and aunt have tons of her things, and my brother has nothing, because we weren''t willing to "raid the loot" after she passed away. What would you do with it?