Who does which chores, etc. (husband or you?)

[MichelleCarmen]

Moms who work outside the home: who does which chores in your household?

Do you and your husband each have specific duties and/or errands delegated or how do you two plan things out?

(and how old are your children?)

 

[blackberry16]

I don't have any children yet. We both work full time and he is in school, therefore I do all the housework and he fixes stuff if it breaks.

 

[somethingshiny]

While I was working outside the home, DH and I pretty much split chores. I cleaned bathrooms, he cleaned floors, we switched off on dishes, etc. (no kids)

While being a SAHM, DH still helps out. He still does 90% of trash duties, and vacuuming and most of the mowing/weed eating. Sometimes he'll do some laundry and always does his own work clothes. I do all heavy duty cleaning and most of the day to day stuff. He'll do the dishes or sweep if I ask, but they're not something he would just do on his own. (children 4 yrs and 3 mo)


Really shows the difference in generations. Both of my parents and both of DH's parent's work full time. Our moms do all the housework.





Why do you ask??

 

[elrohwen]

We don't have kids, but we both work full time.

We both do the dishes and keep the kitchen clean, though he tends to do more pot scrubbing since I cook all of the food. He usually does the laundry. I vacuum and dust and he does the bathrooms. He feeds the rabbits in the morning and I do it at night. I'd say we're pretty equal on what we do, though I always have to initiate cleaning unless it's the kitchen or laundry (he does those on his own) - we kind of let everything else slide and then I get our butts in gear to do the rest of the house every couple weeks.

 

[stephbolt]

We both work full time but no kids yet.

I do all the laundry and ironing.

He takes out the trash, deals with the lawn, and cleans the litter boxes 90% of the time.

We split cooking and cleaning up duties, and also work together on vacuuming/mopping/dusting/other cleaning.

 

[Jennifer W]

We both work. DH does probably 90% of the cleaning related chores, leaving the things that need special care to me. He's not very patient, so I do stuff like beeswaxing antique furniture or blackleading the grate (very, very occasionally). He also seems incapable of cleaning the shower glass, so I do that once in a while, with bad grace. I do the tidying up aspects, so he can come in behind and do the heavy duty cleaning.

I do all things related to food, although we usually shop together. He does about 90% of the laundry, excluding my special "touch this and you die" extra laundry basket. He doesn't do well with delicate fabrics, we've discovered. We do our own ironing, and for DD's stuff, tend to buy clothes that don't need ironed. Neither of us loves that task, so we just avoid it as much as possible.

Gardening stuff is all his, although I'll take a turn at cutting the grass once in a while.

Our daughter is two and a half and he's responsible for at least 50% of her care, on the basis that parenting doesn't end at conception.

The rest of the time, he can sleep.

Oh, and he grooms the dog. I always clean my own diamonds, though. I've taken on a lot more responsibility over the years - used to be all his. We've just evolved into a pattern that suits, we've never really discussed it.

 

[random_thought]

We both do laundry and dishes. He generally takes out the garbage and I wipe things down, clean, etc. DH has been cleaning the litter box and helping me with some of my chores as well because I'm in week 8 of being pregnant and all I want to do is sleep and vomit and try to eat

 

[MustangGal]

We have a 20 month old, but the chores have remained the same since pre-baby. DH does the vacuuming (he says I don't do it right), the dishes, the trash most of the time, the diaper pail, and the yard work. I do the laundry, cooking, bathrooms and general putting things away. We both do the litter box and dog washing. I make the shopping list but we go together. It's a pretty even split.

My mom does everything and works more hours than my step dad. Ain't happening in my house!

 

[TravelingGal]

I do:

Dishes (washing, and I do them manually)
Cooking
Cleaning House (bathrooms except "his" bathroom), vacuum, dusting, floors, kitchen, etc)

He does:

Dishes (washing on occasion, but dries them and always puts them away)
vacuuming (when asked)
trash and recycling (taking it out as well as the large cans on trash days)
All things that need to be fixed
All things that need to be kept alive (waters houseplants and outdoor plants and waters lawn)
Car washing

We both do our own laundry.

 

[KimberlyH]

I work a few hours a week and am the primary caregiver to our 8 month old daughter.

He does: cooking, dishes, cleaning the kitchen, dining room and our room, recycling/trash, grocery shopping, yard work, household maintenance, his laundry, his bathroom

I do: vacuuming, living room, my bathroom, my laundry (although I found a clean load on the bed this morning), most things related to baby

We share: bath and bedtime, baby laundry, hardwood floors

 

[fieryred33143]

Our daughter is 15 months.

We don't really plan things. We just have stuff we're better at. Cleaning is relaxing to me so I don't mind doing it. Cooking is relaxing to him so he doesn't mind doing it.

Typical chores:

Me-organizing stuff, laundry, mopping
Him-cooking, taking out the garbage, straightening up when it starts to get a little messy

 

[steph72276]

Let's see...when I was working full time, I did everything....all the cleaning, cooking, organizing, laundry, paid bills, etc. and hubby had a lawn service do our yard so I basically did everything but the yard. Now that I stay at home, we cut out the yard service and he does it (cuts and edges the lawn, I weed and make sure mulch is put out, flowers are maintained, etc) and I still do all the cooking, cleaning, organizing, paying bills. I don't complain though...he works really long hours and I am slightly ocd when it comes to maintaining the house, so I probably would do it over if he did it anyway. He is a great help in watching/entertaining our boys while I am working on the house though.

 

[geckodani]

We're married, no kids yet.

When DH was working full time and in Law School, I did everything except take out the trash and do the dishes. We're working on dividing the labor a bit more evenly, but haven't gotten there yet. Baby steps...

DH:

Dishes
Garbage (this involves driving it halfway across the complex to the compactor, so it's a chore).
Vacuums
Helps straighten up when requested.

Me:

Laundry
Cook
Grocery shop (he'll go if I ask him to).
Bathrooms
Floors (kitchen, bathroom floors).
Everything else.

 

[pennquaker09]

The only think he does on a regular basis is take out the trash, and he occasionally loads the dishwasher. He's not predisposed to cleaning, I accepted it a long time ago.

 

[zoebartlett]

We don't have kids but I'll answer anyway.

My husband is like Penn's other half -- he's not predisposed to cleaning either. He's getting better, but I still need to ask for more help when needed. We've always lived in condos, so yard work isn't something that we need to worry about.

This is how we break it down:

Me: Vacuum, my laundry, dust, take care of the litter box, file papers, etc., general tidying up

Him: Sweep the bathroom and kitchen floors, his laundry, take the trash out, pay bills and go through the mail

Both: Unload/reload the dishwasher, cook, feed the cats, clean the kitchen (I still do most of it, like cleaning the counters, but he's getting better), wash towels, sheets, etc., shop for groceries (We rarely do it together. We'll both stop at the store on our way home from work and get things as needed.)

 

[Lynnie]

Married, with a baby on the way here...

DH does trash duty, and we split laundry duty (he carries the baskets and switches the loads, and I fold and put away). Same kinda deal with grocery shopping; I shop, he'll unload.
The kitchen is shared... whoever feels up to it will do the dishes. We both cook, so usually whoever cooks doesn't have to clean afterwards.
DH gets litter box duty.
I keep the majority of the house clean. DH does the bathrooms, though. He actually likes deep cleaning with bleach!
DH does the lawn and most of the outside work, but I do help water the plants in the warm months.
I am the bill payer (I'm far more organized than him!).

Oh, and we both work full time. I'll have 3 months off post-baby, but will be returning to work full time. I honestly don't see much changing as far as chores. We've been together for 11 years, and living together for 7, and it's always been this way. Except I may have to change the litter box post baby

 

[packrat]

Um..the things he is responsible for, his downstairs bathroom, his gun bench, his back garage/shed, the front garage..look like a bomb went off. Oh, and he does the weed eating a couple times during the summer. Not every couple weeks like I would prefer. Not that the things I'm responsible for (the entire main floor, yard work except for trimming trees/bushes and weed eating, the kids, dishes, laundry, the basement except for his bathroom/gun bench, taking out recyclables) are picture perfect but..He makes a token effort when he's had enough of my eye rolling and heavy sighing and constant nagging.

I work 10 hours on Wednesdays, he works full time, sometimes 6 or 7 days a week. 2 kids, almost 7 and 3 1/2.

 

[Haven]

We don't have kids, but we do have chores! We like to keep things very clean, so we're constantly doing something. DH, however, does more than the lion's share of the work.

I:
- Clean the bathrooms
- Cook almost all meals
- Dust the house
- Sweep the house
- Organize all paperwork and pay all bills EXCEPT for the cell and cable bills. They're too high and I don't want to see them.
- Grocery shop
- Straighten up the house
- Decorate the house and keep it looking and smelling nice

He:
- Does the dishes
- Cleans the litter boxes
- Does ALL lawn care (mowing, weeding, leaf blowing, fertilizing, planting, etc.)
- Waxes and buffs the cars
- Vacuums the house
- Cleans the kitchen counters
- Takes out the recycling and trash
- Brings all plastics to the recycling center
- Buys all the pet supplies--food, litter, meds, etc.
- Preps the pet food (we feed raw so it's a big job)
- Clips the pets claws
- Snakes my ridiculously long hair out of the drains
- Does a ton of things around the house that I don't even know about--recaulk the windows, clean the vents, winterize things??,

We both:
- Wash the cars
- Do our own laundry
- Wash the linens (bed linens, bath linens, table linens--we use only cloth napkins)
- Wash the windows (our house is all windows, this is an enormous job.)
- Clean out the pantry and fridge
- Walk the dogs (we take turns or do it together, it keeps us both healthy, too!)
- Bathe the dogs
- Clean the walls and ceilings

 

[Puppmom]

We have two children - one is 15 and the other is 3 months.

DH does:

the dishes
trash
yard work
straightening up
puts away groceries
keeps attic tidy and organized

I do:

pay bills
grocery shopping
all cooking
bathrooms
vacuuming
laundry
dusting
all of the less frequent chores unless i ask for his help (like window cleaning or woodwork wipe down etc.)

I like it this way even though it seems like I do more because DH's chores are more of the every day kind of stuff. DD is also a big help. She brushes the dogs teeth and hair and she cleans his ears. She also does a little day to day cleaning like wiping down the kitchen table and the bathroom counters.

When I was on maternity leave, I did the trash and dishes so DH would have time to hang out with our little one after work. Now that I'm back to work, those chores are his!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I work 35 hours a week, DH works 40+, we have a 2 year old son and a daughter on the way. Here is how we spit the chores:

ME:

- Vacuum and wet jet the entire house

- Dust

- Clean inside of windows

- Bathroom

- Tidy up

- Organize mail and other papers


DH:

- Dishes

- Outside work. Includes mowing lawn and maintaining the front and back yards, and cleaning out the gutters.

- Clean outside of windows

- Laundry. We used to share this equally, but my growing belly makes it very hard for me to get up and down our steep basement stairs so he's taken over for now.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

We split them pretty evenly.

I like to do deep-cleaning & DH prefers surface-cleaning, so I willingly do much of the indoor work.

I:
Clean the kitchen
Clean bathrooms
Clean floors
Garden
Cook meals
Clean cars

DH:
Mows, fertilizes, clears gutters & other "outside" work
Cleans litterbox
Does dishes
Pays bills/organizes finances
Takes out garbage & recycling

Both:
Wash animals
Feed animals
Run with the dog
Do laundry
Make beds
"pick up"

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I work 35 hours a week, DH works 40+, we have a 2 year old son and a daughter on the way. Here is how we spit the chores:

ME:

- Vacuum and wet jet the entire house

- Dust

- Clean inside of windows

- Bathroom

- Tidy up

- Organize mail and other papers


DH:

- Dishes

- Outside work. Includes mowing lawn and maintaining the front and back yards, and cleaning out the gutters.

- Clean outside of windows

- Laundry. We used to share this equally, but my growing belly makes it very hard for me to get up and down our steep basement stairs so he's taken over for now.

Things I forgot to mention in my previous post:

I wash the dog and make sure she's brushed. DH clips her nails while I hold her.

We share cooking duties. We each have things that we are good at making so it depends on what we're having for meals. We also grocery shop together, and will continue to do so until the baby is born. Then one person will go to the store alone or with one kid.

I also do the "deep cleaning" in the house. Including the bathroom and kitchen. I will not do the dishes though! Ew ew ew ew! There was a post about chores that hate you in Hangout not too long ago and that's mine. I'd rather scrub the toilet with a toothbrush than have to touch dirty dishes.

 

[Sha]

DH enjoys cooking but not cleaning, and I'm the opposite. He does 95 % of the cooking in our house, and I do 95% of the cleaning. It works for us, because it's what we both naturally prefer to do. We both do laundry.

When it comes to childcare - we have an almost 11 month old daughter who goes to daycare. I do most of the care when she's at home though, like the feedings, and changings etc. When we come home from work, I focus on taking care of her and DH usually gets dinner ready (although we don't cook every day). I do the major cleaning on weekends and might just do the dishes a couple times during the week.

I think it still breaks down to me doing more stuff...

 

[Pandora II]

I'm currently a SAHM, but go out to college two evenings a week. As far as I am concerned looking after DD is my 'job' (and doesn't come with lunch/coffee breaks, sick days or holidays). Chores are therefore not included!

We have a cleaner once a week who also does the ironing. We also have a dishwasher (machine not person )

Both of us cook, we both like supermarket shopping so tend to go together, I tend to do the laundry more often than DH and we're equally useless at tidying up. I do the 'gardening' on our terrace.

With DD I do most of the dressing/bathing/changing but DH will play with her, read to her and sometimes put her to bed at night.

 

[lliang_chi]

I'm so jealous of you ladies who have husbands that cook... My next lifetime.

I do:
All the cooking
Sweep & mop the floors
vacuuming
Dusting
wiping down the Kitchen
Cleaning the 2nd bathroom
Most of the dog walking
washing the dog
taking the car for service
unloading the dishwasher
my delicates laundry
changing & laundering the sheets
Plant watering/care
All bills except mobile phone

He does:
Trash most of the time
Loading the dishwasher
mobile phone bill
filling gas
Whites & Colors laundry
Dog's breakfast

We share:
Dog's last walk of the night
50/50 dog's dinner
Grocery shopping

 

[monarch64]

FI does almost everything. I'm certainly not shaking my tailfeathers. I'm just recognizing that he is 37, has been on his own all of his life, and hasn't had a woman to back his sh*t up EVER. He's very good at maintaining a household, and it has almost been detrimental to us as a couple!

He does:

his laundry (he won't touch mine in case he'll ruin something)
takes the dry cleaning
washes the dishes
puts the clean dishes away
washes the kitchen floor
vacuums the kitchen floor (it's carpeted)
steam cleans the living room
steam cleans the kitchen
steam cleans the 3 bedrooms


I do:

everything else:

steam clean/vacuum his room
wash/dry/dry clean his clothing
put away dishes
vacuum daily
steam clean front room daily
walk dog 6 times a day
wash dog, care for dog, bathe dog, dry dog, love dog
prepare for all entertaining
cook for entertaining
cleanup after entertaining


Pfhhhh. I am more than happy to do whatever it takes. I am submitting this only because I feel that this is what a LIW or BIW can expect at some point. Best of luck!!!

ETA: PS: get a housekeeper, stat!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Thanks ladies. . .I am going to copy down your lists so I can keep track of what I'm missing here in the house! lol

The reason I asked is because I stay at home and my DH works. I feel like I should get a job, but am the sort who easily stresses and couldn't handle full-time work plus everything else. I DO do everything so all the household chores PLUS a job and tending to two elementary school kids would wear me out. I'm not sure how bad it is, exactly, but nobody will even stick a bowl in the dishwasher, so I feel a bit annoyed (I ordered from Sephora to help make up for it! They had a 20% off sale (friends/family)...not sure if it's still on! I'm going to get a handbag for my b-day as my next "paycheck.")

I'm lucky to stay home, but at the same time....IF I did go back to work, I know things wouldn't change! Sooo... well.

All you gals do SO MUCH, though!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

The only think he does on a regular basis is take out the trash, and he occasionally loads the dishwasher. He's not predisposed to cleaning, I accepted it a long time ago.

Yeah, I guess this is my life, too. My dh was taking out the trash till we moved to our new place, but he works LONG hours and is so tired. I feel a bit guilty about how much he's working while I'm not...

 

[MichelleCarmen]

We don't have kids, but we do have chores! We like to keep things very clean, so we're constantly doing something. DH, however, does more than the lion's share of the work.

I:
- Clean the bathrooms
- Cook almost all meals
- Dust the house
- Sweep the house
- Organize all paperwork and pay all bills EXCEPT for the cell and cable bills. They're too high and I don't want to see them.
- Grocery shop
- Straighten up the house
- Decorate the house and keep it looking and smelling nice

He:
- Does the dishes
- Cleans the litter boxes
- Does ALL lawn care (mowing, weeding, leaf blowing, fertilizing, planting, etc.)
- Waxes and buffs the cars
- Vacuums the house
- Cleans the kitchen counters
- Takes out the recycling and trash
- Brings all plastics to the recycling center
- Buys all the pet supplies--food, litter, meds, etc.
- Preps the pet food (we feed raw so it's a big job)
- Clips the pets claws
- Snakes my ridiculously long hair out of the drains
- Does a ton of things around the house that I don't even know about--recaulk the windows, clean the vents, winterize things??,

We both:
- Wash the cars
- Do our own laundry
- Wash the linens (bed linens, bath linens, table linens--we use only cloth napkins)
- Wash the windows (our house is all windows, this is an enormous job.)
- Clean out the pantry and fridge
- Walk the dogs (we take turns or do it together, it keeps us both healthy, too!)
- Bathe the dogs
- Clean the walls and ceilings

Haven - WOW, you and your DH are on-the-ball! lol I think I do about 1/3 of that. Mostly cook (I spend about 2 hrs a day in the kitchen making home-cooked meals.)

How often do you clip your cats' nails? I tried doing that when we had multiple cats and they just went and sharpened them back up by the next day. Is it a daily chore? My current cat has dark nails. They're 3/4 black so I cannot see where that little vein thingy is. He also has black whiskers. lol

 

[Jennifer W]

Thanks ladies. . .I am going to copy down your lists so I can keep track of what I'm missing here in the house! lol

The reason I asked is because I stay at home and my DH works. I feel like I should get a job, but am the sort who easily stresses and couldn't handle full-time work plus everything else. I DO do everything so all the household chores PLUS a job and tending to two elementary school kids would wear me out. I'm not sure how bad it is, exactly, but nobody will even stick a bowl in the dishwasher, so I feel a bit annoyed (I ordered from Sephora to help make up for it! They had a 20% off sale (friends/family)...not sure if it's still on! I'm going to get a handbag for my b-day as my next "paycheck.")

I'm lucky to stay home, but at the same time....IF I did go back to work, I know things wouldn't change! Sooo... well.

All you gals do SO MUCH, though!

Make things change. There's no reason on earth why anyone should put up with that unless they want to. You don't have to do everything, and you don't have to accept that no one will take their share. It might be more effortful that doing the chores in the beginning, but it would be worth it!