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Which job to choose?

Gypsy

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,303
Hi. I (hopefully) have some decisions to make coming up about where I will be working going forward. And I need some input/perspective.

1. Job 1. Location is perfect, and exactly where we want to move to. Pay will be good. Company is unknown and so are co-workers. But employee satisfaction about work life balance on glassdoor. VERY concerned about this, I do not do well in corporate environments that are too strict and formal and do not accommodate balance and lifestyle. DH would have to work for a different company, but we would be within an hour of his family and he wants that very much.

2. Job 2. I'm doing the job already and I like it and know I can do it, and appreciate the company in terms of family oriented and work/life balance friendly place. But would have to move somewhere we don't want to live and have no connections to-- and the job HAS to be filled out of this location, there is no other choice. I do like my boss already and she likes me. DH could work for same company where he is well regarded.

Neither of these jobs are where we currently live.

Problem with both Jobs. Right now I make more than DH. But if we stay here, where we currently are, he is in line for 2 good promotions. The first one would come in March, the second one would be down the line a couple years. And then he'd be making more than me. And he WANTS this and I want it for him. And they won't happen if we move to where Job 2 is. They are dependent on being where we currently are, geographically.

Advice? Thoughts and opinions wanted.
 
What's your concern about work-life balance with job 1? I don't understand the term glass door in this context.
 
Sorry, I'm a little confused. So which job option would you need to take to enable your DH to stay in line for these promotions? Does your DH have good job prospects to where you would have to move for job #1? Also, what is your gut feeling between the two jobs?
 
Stay in the job you are in, assuming I read right and it allows your husband to continue in his current job. You know you like this job. Given the long road it took to find that, don't throw it away.
 
Dreamer_D|1354217398|3318549 said:
Stay in the job you are in, assuming I read right and it allows your husband to continue in his current job. You know you like this job. Given the long road it took to find that, don't throw it away.
Click to expand...

I think they can't stay where they are with either alternative.
 
Such a difficult choice where either one means a lot of change anyway.

I take it you have interviewed at Job 1? How do you find the work environment? Your potential coworkers and boss? All these will also play a factor in how much you are willing to sacrifice for it. Do you have any opportunity to ask any insiders about the work life balance? How easy or difficult will it be for DH to find a good employer that he can be happy with?

Are there any benefits to moving to the new town for Job 2? Why don't you want to live there? When starting out from college, I moved over 1000 miles away from school with zero friends and family. DH joined me 6 months later and we've continued to stay in this "new" town even through several employment changes. We consider this our town now.

Seems like there is the 3rd option of staying put. Again, nothing is set in stone and the promotion might not pan unless he has it in writing. I've seen this happen often enough to know that promises and expectations remain so until it actually happens. If not too personal, is there a reason why you are looking to move and/or why you cannot stay?
 
If I’m reading this right, if you take job #1 you can stay where you are geographically (or move to a place that you want to be in) and DH is happy because of the two upcoming promotions… Is that right? If so, I would go with job #1 because (a) IMHO people are more likely to post negative information than positive about working scenarios, (b) you never know until you get there if it is right for YOU, and (c) if you don’t like it you can get ANOTHER job (yes--that’s easier said than done, but knowing you like I do, I am confident with your qualifications that you could indeed find another position if that’s what you decided to do.
 
Gypsy|1354216623|3318529 said:
But employee satisfaction about work life balance on glassdoor. VERY concerned about this, I do not do well in corporate environments that are too strict and formal and do not accommodate balance and lifestyle.
Click to expand...
Did you mean "employee DISsatisfaction"?
 
No I'm sorry guys. I was unclear.

NEITHER job allows us to stay HERE. One is in Seattle the other in Philly and we are in CA. ONLY staying in CA let's DH have his promotions at this company. SO NEITHER job allows DH to have his promotion at this company.

Job 1. In Philly, ,which is where we want to be geographically. Company has employee DISsatisfaction with work-life balance. Not family friendly. 'Glassdoor' is a review website for employees to post about their employers. The rating is below 3 (out of 5) for this company. DH's company has no properties there, so he would have to change companies. He's willing to, but it's a consideration.

Job 2. In Seattle. We really know no one there and would ONLY be moving for my job. DH's company is based out of Seattle though, so he would be able to transfer. He would just loose out on promotion opportunities. I am REALLY worried about the weather up there as neither of us deals well with cold. But I work for the company now and am very happy with my job, and I would be doing the same thing. Unfortunately I cannot fill that position permanently from CA, in order to keep the position I would have to move to Seattle.

Staying in CA would allow DH to stay with the same company AND get promoted. It would also mean that as of January 1, I have no idea what job I could get as I have not found a job here. And we can't do one income.
 
Gypsy, if you come to Seattle I will be your friend! :wavey: if you've got questions about the city that I can help with, feel free to ask here on PS or elsewhere. Actually, since I used to live in Philly until last year, I could probably talk about that, too, but IIRC you're from somewhere close to there so probably have a good idea what it's like. If you don't have my info, I'm sure Claritek can pass it on to you.

Sorry to hear that your company can't make you permanent where you are now and that nothing else has turned up. If you went with option 1 (Philly) would your hubby have a good chance of getting a job there? If not, since you can't do one income and you're not sure you will like the job there, I think it would be a very risky move. Although moving sucks, remember either way that if you go somewhere and hate it, you can always keep looking and make another move later. Not ideal, but not impossible.

Good luck either way, I hope you guys can come to an agreement that you're both happy(ish) with.
 
I'm posting after just reading your first post. Honestly, neither job sounds great, although it's hard to say without knowing the specifics of the work you'd be doing. I'd never heard of glass door but my husband told me he thinks it's a site where employees rate job satisfaction.

My thoughts about job #1: Not having a good work/life balance is huge, and I know how important that is to you. I also know how important it is to have less stress in your life. To me, honestly, it doesn't sound like this place would make you happy (judging by past posts and getting to know you here over the years. Apologies if I'm off...). Yes, you'd be near family, which IS important, but considering how much time you could be spending at work, I'd personally want to really enjoy where I was working.

My thoughts about job #2: Moving to somewhere you don't want to live, especially without family or friends there, doesn't sound great. Again, if work/life balance is important, you'll want (ideally) to explore where you are. If you know you already don't want to live where ever this is, that might make for an unhappy experience. You may discover that you really do like Seattle, though, once you get to know the area.

ETA: I just finished reading your second post, Gypsy. I tend to be a little leery of employer review sites. I'm just always not sure how reliable the feedback is. Have you heard of City Data? They have a forum for each state, and many for larger states, all based on geographic location. It's a great site to read through and get advice if you feel comfortable posting questions in their forums (fora? -- that sounds funny but maybe more accurate). I did a lot of research on City Data before we moved to a new state a few years ago, and I found a lot of the advice very helpful. Just a suggestion.

If I'm understanding this correctly, your current job is a contract position that ends Jan. 1, right? That does make the situation a bit more sticky, but I'm honestly not sure you'd be really happy with either of the two possibilities you're considering now.
 
Ugh, difficult decision. Philly is cold too Gypsy. Truthfully neither of these places will match Ca in terms of amazing weather so that's a consideration since you guys don't like the cold.

If you stay put your dh will be getting a promotion/raise in a few months. Would that buy you time to find something good too perhaps?

It doesn't sound palatable to move somewhere you don't know anyone or where the job situation is new and where work/life balance would be less than ideal since that is very important to you (as it would be for me as well). And fwiw I do have faith in glassdoor because it rings true in my experiences. It really does. Sure some are disgruntled employees but when the majority of reviews say the same thing I recommend you give it credence.

So if you must move then I would choose Seattle though you know no one (you will make connections) and you are far from your dh's family -hey you have to earn a living and have a quality of life. Seattle isn't that cold- I think it is warmer than Philadelphia actually! And you both will have jobs there. Or I would stay in sunny Ca and hope for the best. You never know what is coming opportunity wise for your career. You're good and you are likely to find something.

Good luck Gypsy!!
 
I've lived in both places (well actually all three places heheh) and if it comes down to Seattle or Philly, I most certainly would pick Seattle every time. DH and I live in CA now but we plan to retire back to WA in about 10 years when he's out of the military. Philly gets colder than Seattle!!! I know that's only taking into account geography, but that's a big part :)
 
Could you wait until he gets his promotion in March and then move to Seattle? Would he be able to transfer with his new promotion? If yes, could you negotiate to defer transfer until March and work remotely until then? That way he'd have at least one promotion, and you'd keep the job that you love. I agree with Zoe that I'd want to enjoy where I was working. DH and I are both admins, though his job is more stressful and he usually comes home tired (but unable to sleep), whereas, my job is more relaxed and I don't come home physically and mentally exhausted.

If you went to Philly, would your DH readily find employment there? And if you found that you didn't like your new job, how would you feel about that? Would you stay or try to look for something else?
 
You have have some great insights. Maybe if I share more you can help more?

Weather:
1. Seattle. The thing that worries me isn't actually how cold it is. I stated that badly. Cold isn't what worries me. It's that it's very gray. And I tend to get seasonally affected (depressed when it's not bright out). DH though isn't into cold weather.

2. Philly, I lived for three years in NJ (right next door), and the weather was fine. I actually adore having 4 seasons. And even when it's snowing it's BLUE out and sunny most times. So I have no really worries about Philly weather. I actually think CA is monotonous.

Geography and friends and family.

1. I love that Philly is at least an hour away from Dh family. We are close but not too close. It's a great city. And it's got a great airport with easy and relatively cheap flights out here to CA, so I can come back and visit my family.

2. Seattle, I am worried about being somewhere new. Neither DH or I are very outgoing. At all.

Jobs
1. Philly job. I am interviewing with them and I will continue to be super careful to vet them. I am scared though, because interviews do NOT tell the whole story. And I just can't go back to working with people who expect me to be this overachieving person that works their arse off at the risk of their health. I can't do it.

2. Seattle job. The job I am doing now as a lot of things I didn't know I could find. When I am sick, they care. They don't sit there and dock me and think I'm defective because I can't push myself too hard. That's RARE and so valuable. They value me, and it shows.

DH.
1. Dh would have to change companies as his company has no properties in Philly. But he has a GREAT resume and honestly he does get really frustrated with his company now about certain things... and if he did companies he might get promotion opportunities at his new company too. He would have to carefully vet wherever he applied.

2. Seattle is very stagnant in terms of mobility for his position. So no, if he moved up there he would not be able to get the promotion. And if he moved up there after March, after the promotion, there is no guarantee he could keep it. The promotions at his level depend on the property. The larger and better the property, the higher your grade and your pay. There are MANY more properties in the Bay Area at higher rank than in Seattle and the competition for those positions is ridiculous. He wouldn't be first in line up there, whereas here he would be.


So overall... it is a weird situation. There is a SLIGHT chance that I could go permanent here in CA at the company I am at. But the only way that would happen is if someone got fired. And there is someone who is absolutely not performing their job here, that I could take over for. But they have been with the company for 20 years, and senior and established, and have 2 kids in college. I don't want them to get fired, and honestly I think they are scared of firing him in favor of someone young (opens up an age discrimination suit). It honestly has nothing to do with his age though. He is bad tempered, hard to work with, and bad at his job. So I don't know if I can even ask for dust for that, or how I would feel if he did get fired so they could hire me. Or even if they would.

I am going to keep searching around here. And I did find out that my job isn't over January first. But sometime in January.... so I don't know what to do with that, just happy that I will still be employed come 2013... at least for a little while.
 
I think you're already drifting towards Philly. Go with your gut!
 
Gypsy, I relate to you on the overcast and gray weather issue. I am affected by SAD and I get very depressed when there is no sun for long periods of time. *That* would be a big concern of mine as well.

There really is no clear cut answer for you guys right now. So I am sending you "clarity on what to do" dust and hoping that the right opportunity comes along sooner rather than later.
 
neither sound great to me. the tradeoffs in each situation are too risky for my taste in these economic times. getting stuck somewhere w/o a job and not knowing anyone would not be fun.

i'm no help here. but i'm going to send lots of dust hoping you'll find something very soon in california that will allow your hubby the advance he needs and you the income needed. moving to be near his family is great....but it would be nice to do so without all the unknowns.

i remember when you were so very unhappy with the type of job that didn't allow for quality family time. i don't think you can physically or mentally go back to that. grey seattle will get you down. love the city but i don't suffer from SAD.

here's hoping that a third and viable alternative reveals itself!


dustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdustdust
 
Boy... this is a tough one... It sounds like Seattle is the better *job* option for both of you, but I get you on the weather thing... Have you spent any time in Seattle? Total aside, but when I was interviewing for the job I have now I also interviewed in Pittsburgh and the guy I was talking to said that Pittsburgh has more overcast days a year than Seattle... and he seemed proud of it... :eek: But I digress!

Do you have NO potential options for your work in CA come Jan. 1, or are there things out there that you are still exploring?

One more thing: You said you want to be in the Philly area. That is important--if you can get where you want to be goegraphically you can find another job if the one you have there doesn't work out. (Sorry for repeating that point from my earlier post.)

Honestly, I think you should just pack up the hubby and the kitties and come live with me in Kansas City! :cheeky:
 
Neither options are appealing because the risks are too great. Seattle is the safer choice but I don't like the weather there either. I am close to Philly and like the city and weather. I love Seattle's diversity and eco-friendliness. It's the depressing weather I cannot handle. Summer has a few rare sunny days but the rest of the year is gray and overcast. It seems to be continually damp and slightly drizzly too, perfect weather for moss and mold. :knockout:
 
Sorry for the novel...

I think if you're prone to depression, (focusing here on the seasonal aspect), I'd skip Seattle. Maybe visit for a week or two to get a feel for the area and see what you think. It doesn't seem like a great fit though. I should state that I haven't been there but my sister lives in the PNW and the rainy, overcast, gray skies would get to me after a while. From your latest post about the job in Seattle, that sounds like a better fit, regarding how they seem to treat employees. That's how it SHOULD be, and you should feel valued. That's HUGE and it would be a big influence for me. I'd still think carefully, as you are, about moving to a place where the weather could affect you so greatly. It's a big consideration.

Philly job: It's hard in an interview to get a really great feel for a place. Just as the person interviewing is putting their best foot forward so to speak, so are they. You can get an idea of what a typical day or week is like regarding the actual work, but as far as the climate of the department or the company goes, if people aren't happy working there, who's going to tell you that during an interview? While I said earlier that I don't often trust online reviews, Missy does have a point that it's hard to ignore bad reviews from several people. You have a lot of reservations already and you haven't been there yet. That seems pretty telling. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised when you interview. Hopefully you will be. From what you've shared though, I'd be cautious of moving across the country for them.

I wouldn't count on someone at your current employer being fired. It might happen but it might not.

I'd stay and continue to look in CA. If a position in the Philly area opens up that you feel matches what you need in order to feel happy, successful, and valued, then go for it.
 
I lived in Seattle for 12 years, and I can agree that the weather isn't everyone's favorite. It's not really all that rainy, more sprinkle-y, with a lot of cloud cover. The gray sky day after day is what will get to you.

The other thing about Seattle, which I can attest to, is the "Seattle Freeze". Making friends there is no easy task, generally speaking. Just a fair warning from one introvert to another.

A good point, though, is that housing is so much cheaper than the Bay Area that you'll find some extra bling money. Most other costs are similar, though I do find that vets are much less expensive here in SF than in Seattle.

I've never been to Philly, but it sounds like you're leaning that way at least for the location. I think you have to consider the worst case scenario (as far as your DH's job situation) and see if it's doable before you head that route. The job for you sounds less than ideal as well.

I dunno, I'd say keep looking, here and elsewhere. I hope the perfect job pops up for you soon.
 
That's a tough decision to make. Have you researched those area's economies compared to the the Bay Area? This area is really thriving and doesn't seem to be slowing down but there are still a lot of areas that are not doing great (some of my Boston family is still feeling the recession so it's not just small towns). I would be worried about leaving the area, what if you don't like the new job and you can't find anything else?

I am totally affected by dreary dark weather and would not be able to handle Seattle at all. I don't like cold either but if I could have cold/sunny I would pick that over rainy and cloudy. If you are that affected by the weather, you should nix Seattle off the bat.
 
Wow. That is a really hard decision. Seattle sounds like a better fit in terms of the job and your DH having a job as well, but obviously the other factors play a big role. For CA and Philly, do you have good job prospects in CA and does your DH in Philly? If Philly is where you really want to be then I guess I would take the job and if it didn't turn out well I would look for another.
 
Gypsy|1354230329|3318729 said:
No I'm sorry guys. I was unclear.

NEITHER job allows us to stay HERE. One is in Seattle the other in Philly and we are in CA. ONLY staying in CA let's DH have his promotions at this company. SO NEITHER job allows DH to have his promotion at this company.

Job 1. In Philly, ,which is where we want to be geographically. Company has employee DISsatisfaction with work-life balance. Not family friendly. 'Glassdoor' is a review website for employees to post about their employers. The rating is below 3 (out of 5) for this company. DH's company has no properties there, so he would have to change companies. He's willing to, but it's a consideration.

Job 2. In Seattle. We really know no one there and would ONLY be moving for my job. DH's company is based out of Seattle though, so he would be able to transfer. He would just loose out on promotion opportunities. I am REALLY worried about the weather up there as neither of us deals well with cold. But I work for the company now and am very happy with my job, and I would be doing the same thing. Unfortunately I cannot fill that position permanently from CA, in order to keep the position I would have to move to Seattle.

Staying in CA would allow DH to stay with the same company AND get promoted. It would also mean that as of January 1, I have no idea what job I could get as I have not found a job here. And we can't do one income.
Click to expand...

#1 You'd be changing to a job you might like less and he'd be looking for a job from scratch. It might be worse than the one he has and all you gain is location and two jobs that you are unhappy in. So to me, this one would be ruled out.

#2 Ugh..weather, I agree! Losing promotions for him, not a good idea. I am not seeing why this would be positive at all compared to staying where you are.

Staying where you are seems to be the best option other than the fact that you have to look for another job. But you'll be making a change no matter what, so it still seems to make the most sense to me.
 
:)) You guys are confirming my gut feeling. I want the job in Seattle, and the location of either Philly/NJ/DC/MD/VA or CA.

Dh said he's rather not have me be miserable in Philly, and would prefer to take a chance on happiness in Seattle. So... I'll keep interviewing, and see what happens. And I'll keep applying to positions around here in CA too.

Thanks guys. You REALLY REALLY helped. I needed a gut check badly.
 
I don't feel qualified to advise you what to do - too many variables for me to keep track of and I know nothing about the weather/social life/lifestyle of any of the places - but I do wish you happiness in whatever you choose! I hope you find something that will be the perfect fit for the two of you!

My DH and I left Toronto and moved away 22 years ago. We had no family, no friends, no jobs and I was 7.5 months pregnant when we moved... and we survived. It was weird not knowing a SINGLE SOUL and not having any family or friends to talk to, but slowly we met a few people and got involved in things in the area, but there were a few months where we questioned if this was the right thing to do. Then - DH got a job, #2 son was born, I eventually got a PT job and things just worked out. You just never know where opportunities will come from and while a situation may start out as daunting (even tho we consciously made the choice to move) it could actually turn out to be a really wonderful thing in the end!

I hope whatever you decide - turns out with that same wonderful ending!
 
You've already gotten some great advice, so I have nothing helpful to add, but I wanted to send hugs and dust that you make the right decision for both you and DH (whatever that might be)....these decisions are so stressful, any way you look at it. :roll:
 
Thank you Yenny and Enerchi.

Enerchi, I'm pretty adventerous when it comes to living in different places (that's where "gypsy" name comes from), so I agree, I can definitely find a way to make contacts in a new area. Honestly it's really the gray weather, I REALLY have a problem with it. Today was gray here and I could feel it pushing down on me.

Yenny, yeah it is hard. But... I do think that all this input has helped. My gut is... neither is right with the information I have right now. So unless something changes... I need to keep looking.
 
Gypsy|1354321489|3319655 said:
Thank you Yenny and Enerchi.

Enerchi, I'm pretty adventerous when it comes to living in different places (that's where "gypsy" name comes from), so I agree, I can definitely find a way to make contacts in a new area. Honestly it's really the gray weather, I REALLY have a problem with it. Today was gray here and I could feel it pushing down on me.
Click to expand...

Gypsy, I'm down here in San Diego and it was grey and raining here today, and as I walked into the grocery store I thought of you lol!
 
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