When you got engaged, did people ask to see your ring?

[Gleam]

I am truly surprised by how few people asked to see my ring. I'm not offended or anything, but just surprised! I always ask to see people's rings when they get engaged! I always get really excited to see diamonds, any diamonds!!

One of my closest friends (a woman my mother's age) was jumping up and down with excitement for me but she did not ask to see my ring. Again, I do not want to imply I need anyone to throw a parade for my diamond or anything like that but I guess I'm just surprised by the amount of... indifference?

The only people who have asked to see my ring are my 5 or 6 closest girlfriends and my mother. I never posted my ring on facebook or anything like that.

What about you?

 

[FrekeChild]

One person did. And I wasn''t wearing it because I''d been baking all day. Oh well...

 

[jjc]

I had the same experience and was also very surprised. Like you said, it''s not a big deal, but I was definitely surprised because that is one of the first things I would ask someone about! *shrug*

 

[emeraldlover1]

I don''t remember but I guess I didn''t really pay that much attention either. I was so thrilled to be engaged and planning our wedding that I didn''t really care if people asked to see my ring or not. I guess the same is true when I learn of others engagements. I don''t spend a lot of time focusing on the ring but more on the feelings around their engagements. Only my close girlfriends are the ones I ask to take a closer look and the reason for that is because they are the only people I feel comfortable having a more in depth conversation with about their ring. As we are well aware of at ps, jewelry is an extreamly personal thing.

 

[caribqueen]

I don''t think too many people asked to see my ring which is fine with me because it''s not really supposed to be about that. Some close friends asked but I was surprised at who else did. My bosses at the time who are women asked to see it after they heard through the grapevine, which is surprising because I never talked personal things with them. I didn''t really like them and figured that they wouldn''t care about something like that.

 

[JerseyGrl81]

I had a lot of people ask to see my ring, both when I got engaged and after I got married. I am a teacher and a lot of the parents in my school ALWAY ask to see it.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

You know, not as many as I thought would. I think I spent so much time on PS becoming diamond obsessed, that I couldn''t understand for a couple weeks why no one cared as much as me!

We''re a different breed here I think.

It''s always the first thing I ask when someone says they just got engaged. Hell, it one of the first things I notice about what women are wearing!

 

[sillyberry]

I''m never comfortable asking to see someone''s ring, even though I''m always interested, so I very rarely ask.

Perhaps I should just ask instead of trying surreptitiously to see the sparklies!

 

[charbie]

Date: 1/17/2010 5:21:10 PM
Author: sillyberry
I''m never comfortable asking to see someone''s ring, even though I''m always interested, so I very rarely ask.


Perhaps I should just ask instead of trying surreptitiously to see the sparklies!

i''m the same way, but i''ve gotten a lot more comfortable. i love when people ask to see my ring...any chance to show off is great so i''ve slowly become more comfortable bc it seems a lot of people are thrilled you''ve asked! they love to show off their sparklies!

 

[beltane]

I must admit I am hesitant to ask because I have had more than one occasion when the bride-to-be didn''t receive an engagement ring, so it was embarassing for both of us. I now try to keep an eye out ''casually'' to make sure there is a ring there, and then YES I definitely love to gush over her ring with her!

I must admit, my fiance has adult children and none of them asked to see my ring. They aren''t evil, just thoughtless. But it did hurt my feelings.

 

[yssie]

These responses are interesting - I found it was the first thing most people wanted to see.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I agree with you Beltane, I only ask about the ring if I know there is one. That is, I see a pic on facebook or hear about one, otherwise I keep mum until I see them in person. In this modern era, I can''t always assume there''s a ring!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Only one of my friends asked me to send a pic of the ring. At work, people who see the ring and realize I am newly engaged, ask to take a closer look at it.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

not that many people asked me at first either, I though maybe they were confused b/c I have a sapphire and diamond three stone with a sapphire center. Other than really close friends, I think it''s just not a NY thing to do...

 

[Maisie]

I saw a friend recently who I hadn''t seen for a year or so. She was married a few months ago. The first thing I did was grabbed her hand to see her rings! Mind you, what else would a PS''er do?

 

[kittybean]

It felt like almost everyone asked to see my ring! I was happy to oblige.

 

[honey22]

I did notice that alot of people didn''t actually ask to see the ring, but I could see them stealing glances at it over and over again. I think some people don''t like to be so forward.

And we do have to keep in mind that not everyone is as diamond obsessed as us PSers!

 

[LilyKat]

A lot of women did (probably about half) - and as we ordered my ring after the engagement, I kept having to explain I hadn''t got it yet! I didn''t mind though, it seems like a natural question, along with "have you set a date yet?"

None of the guys did. And women who weren''t particularly "girly" or into jewellery didn''t either.

Often when someone tells me she''s engaged, it''s accompanied by a "hand flutter" - I''ve never thought of this as showing off, so maybe a good way to draw attention to the ring if you feel it''s being under-appreciated

 

[IrisAccents]

What''s funny is I have found that a lot of people notice my ring and comment on how beautiful it is, and then I have to tell them I am engaged. I think they are surprised because it isn''t a diamond. Once I tell them it''s my engagement ring, they usually want to see it closer- and then ask what kind of stone it is. It''s been fun!

 

[sba771]

Nope. Even my mom wasn't interested. One friend expressly told me she has no interest in seeing it and another said, 'wow that looks really small.' (Its 2.35 carats) I just shrug and say whatever, I like it and its for me and no on else.

 

[emilina22]

ive had a few people come up and ask right after our engagement to see my ring, which i didnt mind at all, they even come up to me now and ask too see my set

and at work i get lots of compliments on it as well (lets just say the lighting is AWESOME at work.

BUT what makes me a little uncomfortable is when im at work (i work at a paper store in a chicago suburb) and women GRAB my hand when im trying to help them, this happens at least once a week since ive worked there. i just dont like having my hand grabbed, its just a little too aggressive for me especially since they are complete strangers who are doing this.

 

[Luckyeshe]

I''ve had all of my friends ask to see my ring and I''m one of those people who steal glances at other peoples rings. If someone was recently engaged that I know, I take a quick look at her ring finger and once I confirm there''s a ring on it, I ask to see it and give her compliments about her sparkly. I''ve never minded either way, but compliments are nice and my FI loves hearing them!

 

[hihowareyou]

people seemed more interested in mine when i didn''t have it. i find most just want a quick glance and then to bombard me with wedding questions and advice.

 

[CurlySue]

I''d say about 75% of people have asked to see the ring. One thing I have found funny is that more men have asked to see it than women. For some reason, I imagined that men wouldn''t really care, but virtually all of them have asked to take a look!

 

[ts44]

Date: 1/18/2010 9:58:40 AM
Author: CurlySue
I''d say about 75% of people have asked to see the ring. One thing I have found funny is that more men have asked to see it than women. For some reason, I imagined that men wouldn''t really care, but virtually all of them have asked to take a look!

True!

Most of the people who have asked to see my ring have been men, including my boss, who I thought had no interest in my personal life what-so-ever. Women, not so interested.

My dad''s side of the family, not so interested either, they just wanted to hear about the details of the engagement and of course "when''s the wedding!". I forgot it when I went to visit my mom''s side of the family right after the engagement (I was cleaning it, and left it on the counter because we were running late) and thought well, they probably won''t care either. Of course, everybody there was like WHERE''S YOUR RING GIRL. I think some of them even jumped to the conclusion that I didn''t like the ring and was too embarrased to wear it - so far from the truth! I could have kicked myself for forgetting it.

And one awkward moment - I was at my 10 year high school reunion (practically the definition of awkward moments) and one girl I used to hang out with and I were talking, and I said hey I heard you got engaged! And she said yes, so excited, etc etc and I asked may I see your ring? She sad sure! and showed it right up, no hesitation. I appropriately gushed (it was very pretty, truly), then she said to me I heard you recently got engaged as well, and I said yes, I sure did, very excited, etc etc...and she said sounds great so happy for you and then walked away to refresh her drink. WTF? I wanted to show mine off too!

 

[pinki]

I get about a 50/50 reaction. I''m not really surprised though because when someone I know announces an engagement I never ask to see their ring because I don''t want to make it seem like an engagement is all about the ring (even though deep down inside I''m DYING to see it because I L-O-V-E the Bling!). Plus some people are *gasp* just not into rings as us PS''ers so I never know if they''ll think I''m rude if I ask to see the ring.

I do find myself not showing my ring when I tell someone I''m engaged though, strangely enough...weird. I think it goes back to the "its not about the ring" theory?

 

[Laila619]

Date: 1/17/2010 6:32:28 PM
Author: yssie
These responses are interesting - I found it was the first thing most people wanted to see.

Ditto! Especially the girls at work...they gathered around my desk and demanded to see the ring as soon as they found out.

Now that I think about it, other times when I told people I was engaged, I just flashed my left hand to sort of announce it for me, so I guess they didn't really need to ask to see it!

I had to have my ring re-sized a few weeks after I got engaged, so I was ringless for several days, and people freaked out! "OMG, where's your ring?!" It was kind of awkward having to explain all the time.

 

[DearBuddha]

When my cousin was considering getting engaged, I offered to help him scope out rings and find something lovely with his budget and his GF''s preferences. I advised him against buying at a mall chain store, but he did anyways and purchased for her a very small (RB, .3ctw, I2) three stone diamond engagement ring.

When they became engaged, I offered my congratulations to her and enthusiastically gushed with her over her ring. I could tell she loved it so I kept my opinion to myself and instead told her how beautiful I thought it was.

In the midst of our reverie, my cousin came over and proceeded to inform everyone that he had only spent $499 on the ring. His fiance''s face was scorching red, and to add insult to injury, he then asked my husband how much my ring had cost and what the carat size was. I was offended and horrified/embarrassed for her.

So I refrain from asking to see rings, because I don''t want the bride to feel bad about what she''s been given.

 

[trillionaire]

I only ask very close friends to see their rings. I find it really awkward in most other circumstances. I didn''t mind as much before, because I could gush and make it all about the bride, but now that I am engaged, and I have an unusual ring, I feel pretty uncomfortable with people assessing and commenting on my ring. It''s not traditional, and I love it, and I don''t want it negatively scrutinized or unfairly compared to others. for example, the last time I showed it to another bride (at her request), she started sputtering about how she didn''t want her FI to spend a lot of money on a ring, and it wasn''t a priority for them.

My FI spent what he felt comfortable spending, and not a penny more. My ring is 1ct, so a lovely size IMO, but not at all over the top. Anyway, I don''t ask, because it feels weird to me. I will compliment people on their rings, but I never ask to see them explicitly.

I love ring compliments, but I really don''t like to be asked to throw my hand in people''s faces. I would say I was asked the most by family, and not many other times, only a handful. I am glad it wasn''t more than that.

 

[D&T]

Date: 1/17/2010 6:36:24 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I agree with you Beltane, I only ask about the ring if I know there is one. That is, I see a pic on facebook or hear about one, otherwise I keep mum until I see them in person. In this modern era, I can''t always assume there''s a ring!

agree 100%.... I don''t ask unless I see it on their finger after I take a glance to see if there is actually a ring.