when to do it???

[1stdiamondbuy]

OK, the custom ring should be ready in the next couple of days. Here are some of the factors I am thinking about ....

1. I wanted the ring to be a total surprise, but decided I couldn''t pick a setting without input. I was going to have her narrow it down and then pick one, but we got into a store and got into details about a custom setting so there was no backing out. She knows what the design is supposed to look like, but hasn''t seen the completed setting.

2. She has a pretty good idea that the ring should be done in the next couple of days.

3. Our families are about 2.5 hrs away. We will be there this weekend for Father''s Day. We will also be there the weekends of 7/16 (my sister''s wedding) and 7/23 (a friend of mine''s wedding ... a girl I dated 10 years ago).

4. I''d like to talk to her father before I propose.

5. I''d like to be able to be with our families right after the proposal.

OK ... with all of that in mind, what is the right time? I was thinking about trying to talk to her dad this Saturday, propose Saturday evening. My second thoughts on that are that I don''t want to conflict too much with Father''s Day, her dad and brother are going out of town to a baseball game on Sunday, and I''d like to have some element of surprise (keep her waiting a bit since she knows the ring is done this week).

I think proposing the weekend of my sister''s wedding would be bad (is this weekend, 4 weeks before, even infringing on her weekend?). The weekend of 7/23 is already a bit awkward and I don''t really want to add to that. It will almost look like (to some people) that since this girl I dated a long time ago is getting married and I can''t have her, then I will go ahead and propose to somebody else. That is absolutely not the case, but I don''t want our proposal date to be my ex''s wedding date.

Another option would be around 8/21 ... a Jimmy Buffett concert. We started dating after hanging out at a Jimmy concert last year. I just wonder if that is making her wait too long. And logistics could get a little sticky because I know she wouldn''t want something in public. Plus we probably wouldn''t see our families until 2 weeks later.

OK, I realize that is quite long and rambling ... but if somebody can offer some insight into why one of those weekends makes perfect sense, you would make my day. Thanks.

 

[countingdown]

I am in the same boat as you, I will be doing it on vacation in August. We have been looking at some stones and settings so she kind of has an idea. I keep saying New Years would be so romantic that way in her head she will not be expecting in August. I really want it to be a surprise so I am not going to talk about it from now tell then since I have wrapped up the ring today. I think doing it a month before the wedding would be romantic. Its not like it would be the same week or anything.

 

[blueroses]

The sooner the better--if you''ve spent any time on the ladies-in-waiting thread, then you''ll know how nutty we get when we know it''s supposed to be happening and it''s NOT.

This weekend''s plan sounds good for a few reasons:
1) it''s SOONEST!!!
2) the family will be there
3) it''s long enough before the sister''s wedding that it doesn''t steal her thunder (IMO) but will still make your enjoyment of the wedding all the more special as a couple.

Yeah, Buffett would be fun, but 2 months is way too far away!!

 

[Shay]

Allow me to reiterate Obsessed!''s very valid point.

Dont wait until the Buffett concert-- trust me! She will want to have that ring on her finger before you drag her to your ex''s wedding!!!

 

[1stdiamondbuy]

So this just got a little more sticky. The people making the custom ring had it totally done and were setting the channel diamonds and burned the platinum and couldn''t get it cleaned. Since they thought they were done, they had already gotten rid of the wax casing and are now starting from scratch. It won''t be done now until 6/22. They offered to set my diamond in a stock ring that is somewhat similar to the custom setting so that I could propose this weekend and then swap it out next week. I really don''t like that idea because I think a big part of the moment is seeing HER ring, not an imposter. But that totally throws off the timing thing. I could talk to her dad this weekend and propose sometime next week or weekend, but then we won''t see our families for about 3 weeks ... at my sister''s wedding. I really don''t want my engagement to be the subject of that much conversation at my sister''s wedding. Now what?

 

[royalasschergirl]

i hate that the timing didn''t work out for you -- i would say personally i wouldn''t want to finally get the ring, and then have to turn around and give it back! Wait the extra week, talk to her dad this weekend, and do it the week after at some point. It would be fun for your girlfriend to attend your sister''s wedding as ''an official member of the family!'' and everyone will be excited for you. I agree that if you do it AT the wedding or that weekend it would be distracting, but 3 weeks before the wedding i don''t see as a problem. That''s if it were up to me, and its not, so do what you gotta do!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[FireGoddess]

I agree - talk to her dad this weekend, and then propose next weekend. While it would be nice to have the whole family there for the engagement - it''s better not to have it compete with your sister''s wedding. And 3 weeks is plenty of time for it not to compete with the wedding. It would be such a wonderful feeling for her, as RAG said, to go to the wedding as part of the family, officially! She''s likely dying to have that ring on her finger...don''t make her wait forever!!!! And for sure DEFINITELY make sure she''s not going to your ex''s wedding without a ring on her finger!!! You can do something romantic and just for the two of you without your family being present...there''s plenty of family celebration for afterwards!!!

 

[kcwade33]

I''m in the same situation as her family 2.5-3 hours away and we are visiting July 4th. She knows its eventually coming but I need to ask her parents first and am trying to figure out something for a July 4th proposal. She is very close with her family and has always stated she wanted a proposal in front of her family?

Any ideas?

I want to show her the ring beforehand, is that a bad thing?

 

[MissAva]

So...did you ask your lady to be your wife this weekend?

 

[1stdiamondbuy]

The ring wasn''t ready yet ... should be by Wednesday of this week. I did tell her that they had to start over on the ring and it would probably be sometime next week. We are going on a weekend vacation to FL this weekend, so I am thinking that would be a good time. She doesn''t think the ring will be ready yet and the trip was planned because I had a voucher that was about to expire, so I don''t think she is expecting it at all this weekend. It is still 3 weeks before my sisters wedding so not too much conflict there.

The toughest part so far is the talk with her dad. I never had an opportunity this weekend. There was never a time that he was home alone. I''m hesitant to call, because I know her mom will answer the phone and if I ask for him she will know what is going on. I could talk to both of them, but I think it would be really nice for her to be able to tell her mom. Thoughts on that one?

 

[Munchkin]

Florida sounds great, especially since she won''t be expecting it!

Regarding talking to her parents, do you think her father wouldn''t tell her mother? I know that if my Dad were asked for his blessing, he would tell my mother about it. I want my BF to ask both my parents for their blessing. (I know that it would mean a lot to my mom, too.) Would it be possible to suss out if your GF wants just her father, mother or both involved in the asking? Also, if you truly want her to able to tell her mom, make sure you ask her father to not spill the beans! (Of course, my Dad would genuinely forget and tell my mom anyway!

)

Good luck!
Munchkin

 

[jennyann2]

i would call her dad. my dad told my mom after my fiance asked for their blessing and my mom was still super excited when i called to share the news.

if you really want to surprise her do like my fiance did. i knew the ring was ready on saturday and that he picked it up so i was expecting it sometime very soon but i assumed it would be on a weekend at a fancy restuarant or the like. well i came home from work on a monday to a house filled with hundreds of balloons, flowers, champagne, dinner in the oven and dessert in the fridge. even though i know it was coming i had no expectation on a monday evening. he definitely got me!