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When people ask if they are invited to you wedding?

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larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
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1,747
So, as most of you know, FI and I moved to Ann Arbor from Boston in September. We''ve made a lot of nice friends here, but when I was choosing a room for the wedding reception and everything before moving, I did not take into account new friends that I would make. The list is nearly finalized (my mom STILL has to finish her list, but promised to not go over 150 people) and there is no room to add new friends that we''ve made here. I sort of planned this way on purpose, to keep our wedding on budget, and I didn''t want to plan for extra people I didn''t know at the time.

But last night, one of my new friends asked if she was going to be invited to the wedding, pretty bluntly. I just responded that I would love to be able to, but I chose a smaller room and was not anticipating inviting anyone that I met in Ann Arbor. She didn''t see it as a big deal (not offended or anything) but I was wondering how the best way to answer these questions are (if I get them)?

I guess I''m just looking for a graceful and polite way to say "no, we''re not inviting anyone from Ann Arbor."
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
I might just say the list and the venue and the numbers that could be accomodated were unfortunately decided upon before you moved, and you are sorry that you did not anticipate that you would make some great friends and want to include them too...but that things were pretty mcuh set prior to your move. It is nice people in Ann Arbor would like to come, but I am also amazed when people put you on the spot like that!
 

Fancy605

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
1,446
I think you did just fine actually. That is a pretty graceful way to respond to a pretty not-graceful question.
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
17,757
I agree with the above posters. It is quite rude to ask a bride whether you will be invited to her wedding! I had a handful of people ask me the same question when I was engaged, and I responded in a fashion similar to your response. I think most people will understand the idea of a set budget and the amount of guests it will allow.

DH and I even had one single guy ask us point blank if he could just come to the reception. It was SO weird, and we were really taken aback that he would be so forward. He was a friend-of-a-friend type acquaintance, so DH just said, "sorry, we''ve already had to stick to a pared-down guest list, and can''t make any more exceptions." It was SO awkward, though!
 
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