When newbies come here AFTER buying a poorly cut stone . . .

[kenny]

What should we do?
Just congratulate them and be quiet about the fact that for the same price, or less, they could have gotten a much better-cut and therefore more beautiful diamond?

It is possible some are still in a return period.

I'm torn.
It seems very rude to make someone feel bad about their ring after it is already on her finger.
After all, that wonderful man picked it out for her.

What should we do?

 

[strmrdr]

if its a bad cut stone tell em the way it is.
If its a reasonable well cut stone and its just that they could have got it cheaper then its nicer to shut up.

 

[ladykemma]

if they are asking questions about returns, them i tell the truth

if they are happy, i don''t pee on their parade.

 

[tracys126]

I say let them be happy. The deal is done!

And if there is a return policy, ew, who wants to try to explain to their FI that they were on pricescope and now they want a better cut. Eeek!

It's a good question though.


I wonder if you were talking about me!?

 

[Mara]

yeah basically if they come asking how they did or what we think, i will be honest about if i think it's a dud or a winner...sometimes they are within a return period and they DO want to know if they got ripped off or if they could have gotten more for their money etc. there have been great success stories where someone comes here after the fact, is able to educate a bit and return what they got for something that makes them REALLY happy.

but if they are posting a ring or specs to share, and not asking how they/he did or what we think etc then i just either don't comment at all or i just say something like congrats.

eta that also the tone of their own post sometimes determines what i will say..aka if they say 'you know i got engaged and my stone looks odd, here are the specs' vs 'hey i just got engaged and my stone looks fab, here are pictures and specs'...obviously if they think it looks fab and the numbers don't make sense to me, i'm not going to say anything. but if they already think it looks ODD then it kind of opens the door for 'well are you happy with it' kind of thing. ....think i know which thread may have inspired this Q.

 

[tracys126]

Ladykemma,

I''ve never heard the phrase "pee on their parade" before!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

It depends I guess. If they come on here saying look at the gorgeous stone I got, then I keep my mouth shut. If they are coming on here asking how did I do?? Then I tell them hey you could do a lot better, this stone isn''t well cut. I ask if they can return it etc... Most people want the truth, but then again some only want to hear what a beautiful stone they bought and if I feel that vibe from them I usually keep my trap shut. Last thing I want to do is hurt someone''s feelings but rather do that than let them think they got a great stone when in fact they didn''t and over paid for it too. That kills me.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 6/17/2006 9:01:43 PM
Author: Kaleigh
It depends I guess. If they come on here saying look at the gorgeous stone I got, then I keep my mouth shut. If they are coming on here asking how did I do?? Then I tell them hey you could do a lot better, this stone isn''t well cut. I ask if they can return it etc... Most people want the truth, but then again some only want to hear what a beautiful stone they bought and if I feel that vibe from them I usually keep my trap shut. Last thing I want to do is hurt someone''s feelings but rather do that than let them think they got a great stone when in fact they didn''t and over paid for it too. That kills me.

Ditto. Except... this is what I aspire to. Don''t always suceed. I use this place to unwind... so if I''m stressed or frustrated... well. I fail.

 

[UCLABelle]

I don''t post too often, but check the forums everday (perhaps a few times a day!). I was one of the people that was given a ring by the most wonderful guy and soon found out that the color was low for the cut ("I" for an Asscher). However, while I was a tad sad about it, it was good to know the truth. I also learned that just because my diamond isn''t perfect, it does have its good points (like it is an excellent cut, 2cts, GIA certified and was purchased at a VERY VERY VERY good price). Now that I know most people shouldn''t buy an "I" for an asscher, if I ever upgrade, I will buy an "H" or better

(Not that I plan on an upgrade!).

As Kaleigh said, it is pretty easy to determine what answer people are looking for! For example, a "Look at my beautiful diamond" topic in SHOW ME THE RING should receive positive comments....but a "DID I DO GOOD?" in ROCKY TALK could be open for an honest discussion.

 

[diamondfan]

This is tough. Once the ring is bought and paid for it is hard to burst someone''s bubble, but, since so many folks here are SO in the know (I am NOT one of them) it is a fine line. If the ring or stone is returnable still, I think I WOULD want the info so I could get something else. I guess it is sad that a lot of people find this site AFTER the fact, and wish they had found it prior! Maybe at least they will be informed if they ever upgrade, or get other gifts for their S.O.!

 

[RockDoc]

This is a problem. When someone''s pet rock is not what the new parents expect, they are severely dissappointed.

Because we don''t live in a "perfect" world, the expectations of perfect hardly is true.

As almost ALL the experts have said, some diamonds with less than stellar proportions can look extremely pretty and beautiful, and estimating how good or "bad" a stone really is does require human eye examination, and that examination really needs to be done by someone who has seen thousands of stones.

There are also stones that have great numbers and great cut ratings by some of the systems and programs used to evaluate cut, but in appearance they are duds.

It is just the "nature of the beast" with pet rocks. Table and depth are just not emough information to render an accurate opinion.

Many times in round shape diamonds the proportions are reasonably predictible. But NOT always.


Yes, consumers appear as if they want to know the facts, and the truthful facts. But some just want some reliance that they made the "right" pick and purchasing decision.

These are emotional purchases, and as such really deserve qualified advice. Not seeing a stone in order to render an opinion is sort of "reckless". Experts don''t do it without seeing the stone, unless the proportions are so obviously askew that it the chances of it are reasonably predicitible, but even then some diamonds just break all the rules.

Results of analyzing sarin images, and Diamond Calc information many times can be what the results reported actually are, but not always, so when a diamond might be less than what you think it might be, probably better to have the person get an expert opinion, or at least soften what might be taken harshly, by suggesting it.

Just my 2 cents on this.

Rockdoc

 

[blodthecat]

I think people start searching on the internet when they are worried that they made a bad buy. That''s how a lot of folk find their way to Pricescope.

But if they don''t want to know the answer, then they shouldn''t ask the question!

JMHO

But we all know it''s not ALL about the diamond specifications that matters. Most folk buy their ering with no diamond knowledge whatsoever, and are very happy with their purchase. (and there''s nothing wrong with that)

But if you''re doing your research after making your purchase, my guess is you''re not entirely satisfied with your diamond

 

[Dancing Fire]

what gets me is...when newbies swears they been reading about cuts on PS for months, then goes out and buys a S**TY deep cut.

then comes on here thinking they just rip the jeweler off b/c they got the stone at such a low price. to those people....i tell the them truth

somebody got to do the dirty work.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 6/19/2006 12:57:52 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
what gets me is...when newbies swears they been reading about cuts on PS for months, then goes out and buys a S**TY deep cut.

then comes on here thinking they just rip the jeweler off b/c they got the stone at such a low price. to those people....i tell the them truth

somebody got to do the dirty work.

Agree with ya there....
Nothing annoys me as much as someone saying iv been reading PS for months what do you think of this 90% deep 80% table "asscher" I got a deal on from my friends friends friend yesterday.

 

[diamondfan]

strm, yikes, I still do not really know what some of the numbers and percentages mean! (me bad)...esp on asschers...

 

[Lorelei]

Depends....I try to find out the reason why they are asking - if they have just purchased and are within the return period and are doubting their choice as they can see something is missing ( like cut quality) I will be honest and encourage them to return it. If it is a done deal then I won''t reply if I can''t think of anything positive to say and try to remember that far more people than on here are admiring their diamonds daily with 65% depths, 62% tables and extremely thick girdles! If they are happy then the diamond is worth what it cost even if I shudder and think " what a woofer!" To quote Lady K I wouldn''t want to pee on their parade - but if I can help them to make a better choice if it is doable and what they want then I will. I know the unenlightened non PSer is often very happy to have " a diamond" and cut etc doesn''t enter the equation

 

[Bella]

I would congratulate them and keep quiet. As I do with ALL people who purchases diamonds, including myself. I believe EVERY diamond purchase is a waste of money and NOT a good "value." But people buy them because it gives emotional satisfaction. Even a poor stone can provide that satisfaction. I don''t see the need to hurt their feelings by pointing out what a poor purchase they made when all diamonds (no matter where you get them from) are over-priced too.

 

[WinkHPD]

Date: 6/17/2006 8:55:28 PM
Author: tracys126
Ladykemma,

I''ve never heard the phrase ''pee on their parade'' before!!!

LOL! Then you were never in the Marines!

Wink

 

[puddy]

as a newb (sans ring) I would want the blunt truth. Like someone else said, if the person is perusing this forum they probably already have a seed of doubt in their mind. I''m so glad I came here before we purchased so now I can avoid getting an iffy ring.

 

[gem-ini]

As one of the newbies who just had their diamond evaluated in the last few days, I can only say that a thread like this is guarenteed to inspire... paranxxx... worrxx... feax.. ummm... interest! Yeah that''s it! interest!

Please be kind but honest. Or else what''s the point? Ok, it''s a little nerve-wracking, especially when, like in my case, it''s a done deal... nevertheless I did ask. I got to this site by googleing "asscher" just because I love the cut and wanted to learn more about it after I got my ring. This site is one of the best and has a lot of asscher info. I did learn about the difference between a Royal Asscher cut and my more generic square emerald cut and honestly like the more square shape (for me), though both are beautiful.

If strmrdr tells me the preference for small or large windmills is a personal thing and that either can produce a "kicken" stone, I''d like to be able to take that at face value. If it really is a flaw in the cut, then you can tell me that too. I think what''s important is intent. This seems to be a site for people who really care about these jewels and gives off a friendly enthusiastic vibe... I think what would be tough would be if any critiscm was given in a mean spirited manner... and the very existence of this thread shows that people here don''t tend to go that way...

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/19/2006 3:41:17 PM
Author: gem-ini
As one of the newbies who just had their diamond evaluated in the last few days, I can only say that a thread like this is guarenteed to inspire... paranxxx... worrxx... feax.. ummm... interest! Yeah that''s it! interest!

I KNOW I''d feel the same way Gem-ini ... but I went back to look at the pix of your stone & stats & I really, really don''t think you''re the inspiration here!

Your Asscher indeed looks "kicken" & we are eagerly awaiting more pix ... full hand shots, more of the setting ... the works!

 

[gem-ini]

Date: 6/19/2006 3:46:39 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 6/19/2006 3:41:17 PM
Author: gem-ini
As one of the newbies who just had their diamond evaluated in the last few days, I can only say that a thread like this is guarenteed to inspire... paranxxx... worrxx... feax.. ummm... interest! Yeah that''s it! interest!

I KNOW I''d feel the same way Gem-ini ... but I went back to look at the pix of your stone & stats & I really, really don''t think you''re the inspiration here!

Your Asscher indeed looks ''kicken'' & we are eagerly awaiting more pix ... full hand shots, more of the setting ... the works!

Thanks so much decodelighted! Whew!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 6/19/2006 3:46:11 AM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 6/19/2006 12:57:52 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
what gets me is...when newbies swears they been reading about cuts on PS for months, then goes out and buys a S**TY deep cut.

then comes on here thinking they just rip the jeweler off b/c they got the stone at such a low price. to those people....i tell the them truth

somebody got to do the dirty work.

Agree with ya there....
Nothing annoys me as much as someone saying iv been reading PS for months what do you think of this 90% deep 80% table ''asscher'' I got a deal on from my friends friends friend yesterday.

I''ve stopped reading the posts that do this. "I''m been on here for a while now and I''ve learned so much!"

Yeah. Okay.

 

[fire&ice]

Beauty is in th eyes of the beholder. And, unless something is WAYYYYY out of wack, no one here can render an opinion on a stone they have not seen. If I posted my specs (sans pav/crown angles) on my OEC, people would pee on my parade.

In reality, it''s a beautiful stone with much depth (in the metaphysical sense) and character. It''s not going to look like a super douper louper - but that''s not what it is about. Lot''s of different stones can be pretty.

So, unless lots of red flags go up - like my diamond was graded by tommy''s lab to be a DEF VS1 stone & it''s yellow with tons of visible inclusions - or someone really wants to know if they should return the stone (again - not splitting hairs on whether a diamond is painted) - then if they are happy - I''m happy for them.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/19/2006 3:46:11 AM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 6/19/2006 12:57:52 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
what gets me is...when newbies swears they been reading about cuts on PS for months, then goes out and buys a S**TY deep cut.

then comes on here thinking they just rip the jeweler off b/c they got the stone at such a low price. to those people....i tell the them truth

somebody got to do the dirty work.

Agree with ya there....
Nothing annoys me as much as someone saying iv been reading PS for months what do you think of this 90% deep 80% table ''asscher'' I got a deal on from my friends friends friend yesterday.

My personal favorite: "I''ve been reading for months"....and then proceeds to ask for opinion on a diamond with only depth/table info.

If you''ve been reading for months, how did you miss the 468 threads that say "not enough info? Need crown/pavilion/girdle, etc."??????????????????

 

[luvsdiamonds]

I just started posting here this month and I know my little three stone ring is by fair perfect,,, but me and my husband bought it way before we even knew that there was a PS. That''s way I''m going with Whiteflash for my a pendent in hopes to someday have that perfect diamond that will be my ering. And I will for sure need all of your help so I will know that my stone is it''s best...

 

[Small]

I think it''s a tough balance to be honest and yet not hurt anyone''s feelings. Alot of times they are coming here because they are concerned. I found this forum when I was searching for advice on how to set my marquise (which I''ve since learned is an awful cut

). It''s alot of overwhelming, alarming LOL info when learning about your diamond which you thought you loved only to find out that it was way over priced and not cut very well at all LOL. At any rate, I see no reason to rain on anyone''s parade (or pee on it either LOL). They will soon learn all there is to know on their own then IF they find out that they were ripped off or their ring is a dud it''s going to make them feel bad so why add to that IMO. My husband cringes because I found this site LOL...I convinced him that my marquise was bad and he let me buy a new RB that''s excellent...he''d rather I just stay away from the internet all together

 

[Dee*Jay]

I don''t know enough about anything really to give a technical opinion so I try to stay out of that part, but as someone who came here as a newbie right after buying my current stone I think *gentle* honesty is the best way to go.

Seriously, if it''s a dawg (woof woof!) and they can still take it back, then by all means light whatever fire is necessary under them to get them back to the store for a refund, but if it''s "just a little bit outside of ideal" and they love love love love love it, well, what the hell, make ''em feel good!

 

[flopkins]

hm... well speaking as someone who WAS one of those newbies way back, I agree w/those who say the response depends on what the poster is asking. I found PS after DH and I got engaged, and after I found PS I realized my stone wasn''t anywhere close to a H&A/ideal cut - my center stone is a 60/60... (horror of horrors!!

)

I simply posted on SMTR, and got many nice comments from folks on it. Which i think was appropriate for what I posted and I appreciated all the nice compliments. People can comment however they like, of course, and can not comment at all if they don''t like it, it''s that simple. But PS is very nice in the way that they don''t really flame folks because they have something they don''t care for, and Leonid does a good job of moderating. If I had posted my diamond specs in RockyTalky and asked if the cut was good, then I would expect my diamond probably woulda got completely pooped (or peed?

) on by the cut mavens here... and that would have been totally appropriate too, bc the honset opinion was asked for.

Yes, my future diamond purchases will now be much more informed, but overall I think PS is a very nice place and everyone is very polite, encouraging, and sensitive to feelings for others for the most part. I know if I had posted in SMTR and got a bunch of posts w/unsolicited opinions/advice saying ''You know your RB is a steep/deep and you ought to return it ASAP for blah blah blah'' then I would not still be here today... and I like being here!

 

[fire&ice]

That''s just my point about peeing on someone''s diamond THAT THEY DON''T SEE. Many 60/60 stones are beautiful & have benefits that other "supposedly" better numbered specs have.