when good comments/questions go bad

[geckodani]

I answer phones for a living, and I get some doozies. My personal fav is:

Me: Where can I direct your call?
Caller: I am looking for Susan.
Me: Okay, do you know her last name and what department she's in? You've got a main operator.
Caller: Yes, I believe she is Chinese.

I really had no idea what to do with that one!!!

When I was working in retail at the mall, I would often run across older folks that came to walk in the morning (retirement home near the mall). One morning I saw an elderly gentleman sitting down near my store, and I smiled, said good morning, and went in to open. When I had opened the store, the gentleman came in and said, "I just wanted to thank you for smiling and saying good morning. I buried my wife yesterday, and your simple good morning and smile reminded me that there is still happiness in the world. So thank you young lady, and you have a nice day."

Just goes to show, you never know what a stray comment could mean to someone.

 

[Haven]

Date: 2/23/2010 12:18:59 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 2/23/2010 12:06:53 PM
Author: somethingshiny
I thought of another spilling episode. I was at work one day and helping an elderly lady with her glasses. As she was sitting at the counter she smiled at me and asked if I wanted to hear a story. Thinking I was going to hear how her last pair of glasses broke, I said yes. For the next 30-40 minutes she relayed the tale of how she and her late husband fell in love on an oceanliner similar to the Titanic. She told about how the ship looked, how it felt to be on it, all the dances and the little things. It was so sweet. She got teary eyed and thanked me for letting her share her story because she missed her husband so much. By the end of the visit, half the office was gathered around the woman and most of us were teary eyed too.

She died within the year and I couldn''t help but be happy for her, thinking of her dancing with her husband again.

That''s the thing when people spill to you. You take lots of stories with you and they take the memories with them. So, it''s better to be nice than to be rude.

Oh that is so SWEET. I would have loved that!

I love this, what a wonderful experience to have had.

I feel like I experience things like this more when I''m traveling abroad, I tend to engage in conversations with strangers more when I''m in Europe for some reason.

As for me, I try to keep my foot out of my mouth but it often backfires on me.

Most recently, I went to my dermatologist''s office and had an uncomfortable situation. We''ve never really talked about our personal lives much, which is how I prefer it thankyouverymuch. But on this particular day she was very chatty. She asked me how I met my husband, and when I said we met on an online dating service she said "Why the hell were YOU on an online dating service?"

Feet-in-Mouth Counter: Haven-0, Doc-1
I made some joke and we moved on. Then she asked "Are you two the same age?" I said "No, he''s ten years older than I." Her reply? "So he was online looking for much younger women? Creepy."

Feet-in-Mouth Counter: Haven-0, Doc-2
At this point she was scooping a potentially cancerous bleeding mole out of my back, so I was lying face-down and managed an awkward chortle in response. Then she continues by asking where we live now and where we lived before we married, I say we live in the burbs now, in the city before. She says "Wow, didn''t take him long to turn you into one of these North Shore JAPs, huh?"

This was a derogatory reference to both my current town and our religion. She shares our religion, so she probably thought it was okay to say this.
Feet-in-Mouth Counter: Haven-0, Doc-3
Then she pretty much stopped asking me questions and started to look a little irritated. When I asked when the biopsy would come back, her reply was snippy, and her mood shift was really eerie. She left the room, I changed back into my clothes, and then went to the front desk to schedule my next appointment.
The older lady working the front desk looked at me over the top of her glasses and said "I think you offended Dr. Footinmouth."

I asked why she thinks that. Her reply? "You never asked her about her pregnancy."
Um, she looked like she was either bloated or very early on in her pregnancy. I make it a point to *not* ask women about their pregnancies unless I am positive that they exist. And even then, I rarely ask unless they mention it.

I just smiled and said "I didn''t want to presume anything." I called in later that day to cancel the follow-up appointment, I think I need a new doctor.

 

[iheartscience]

Haven! Um yeah, definitely time for a new doctor. YIKES. It''s kind of impressive that she managed to say so many inappropriate things in so little time, though. And managed to be offended by you refraining from mentioning her expanding waistline! This sounds like something out of a movie!

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 1:29:51 PM
Author: thing2of2

Haven! Um yeah, definitely time for a new doctor. YIKES. It''s kind of impressive that she managed to say so many inappropriate things in so little time, though. And managed to be offended by you refraining from mentioning her expanding waistline! This sounds like something out of a movie!

Ditto. Holy cow!

 

[Haven]

I had to come back because I just realized I didn't share my best story in this thread.

Shortly after I was first hired at my former school I found myself with one other teacher in the copy room. He was this really good looking, young guy, and I knew that he had a reputation for being hilarious.
I introduced myself, to which he replied "Nice to meet you, I'm Serry _______." So, I then said "Serry, that's a really interesting name. Where does it come from?"
His reply: "Oh, I have eleven siblings and all our names rhyme--Serry, Lerry, Teri, Meri, Beri, Kerry . . . " and he proceeded to rattle of twelve rhyming names very quickly.
Well, I (naturally) thought he was joking so I busted out in a huge, full-throated guffaw, and said "That's hilarious. I love it."
His response:

"Um, no really, I have eleven siblings and all of our names rhyme. The girls' names end in 'eri' and the guys' names end in 'erry'.
My response: "Oh, um . . .

. . . I'm so sorry. I thought you were joking."
Him: "Well, nice to meet you."

So I not only managed to laugh in his face, but I then tried to make up for it by saying "I thought you were joking"!?!?!

AAAAAAAAAH! It was awful. I told my department the story at lunch and they relentlessly brought it up for the following three years whenever they felt the need for a good laugh.

After that, whenever I ran into Serry in school I would just blush, bow my head, and shuffle on. Humiliating.

 

[Haven]

Date: 2/23/2010 1:29:51 PM
Author: thing2of2

Haven! Um yeah, definitely time for a new doctor. YIKES. It''s kind of impressive that she managed to say so many inappropriate things in so little time, though. And managed to be offended by you refraining from mentioning her expanding waistline! This sounds like something out of a movie!

Yes, it was very weird. I think she must have been trying to establish a familiarity, or she was just a bit funny due to pregnancy hormones or something.

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 2/23/2010 1:58:39 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 2/23/2010 1:29:51 PM

Author: thing2of2

Haven! Um yeah, definitely time for a new doctor. YIKES. It's kind of impressive that she managed to say so many inappropriate things in so little time, though. And managed to be offended by you refraining from mentioning her expanding waistline! This sounds like something out of a movie!

Yes, it was very weird. I think she must have been trying to establish a familiarity, or she was just a bit funny due to pregnancy hormones or something.

Haven, she sounds awfully bitter and twisted (not to mention TOTALLY unprofessional and inappropriate for a doctor). I suspect marital troubles...

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 1:57:43 PM
Author: Haven
I had to come back because I just realized I didn''t share my best story in this thread.

Shortly after I was first hired at my former school I found myself with one other teacher in the copy room. He was this really good looking, young guy, and I knew that he had a reputation for being hilarious.
I introduced myself, to which he replied ''Nice to meet you, I''m Serry _______.'' So, I then said ''Serry, that''s a really interesting name. Where does it come from?''
His reply: ''Oh, I have eleven siblings and all our names rhyme--Serry, Lerry, Teri, Meri, Beri, Kerry . . . '' and he proceeded to rattle of twelve rhyming names very quickly.
Well, I (naturally) thought he was joking so I busted out in a huge, full-throated guffaw, and said ''That''s hilarious. I love it.''
His response:

''Um, no really, I have eleven siblings and all of our names rhyme. The girls'' names end in ''eri'' and the guys'' names end in ''erry''.
My response: ''Oh, um . . .

. . . I''m so sorry. I thought you were joking.''
Him: ''Well, nice to meet you.''

So I not only managed to laugh in his face, but I then tried to make up for it by saying ''I thought you were joking''!?!?!

AAAAAAAAAH! It was awful. I told my department the story at lunch and they relentlessly brought it up for the following three years whenever they felt the need for a good laugh.

After that, whenever I ran into Serry in school I would just blush, bow my head, and shuffle on. Humiliating.

Oh no!

Actually, come to think of it, I had something similar happen when BF and I were friends (before we started dating, that is). He is one of those people that loves to play jokes and will have a totally straight face the whole time, so I learned early on to not take anything he says at face value.

So we were talking about our families, and I knew his dad was in construction and his mom is a nurse. He mentioned something about being raised Christian Scientist, and not having taken medicine until he was 14. I laughed, and said, "Yeah, right."
"No, really. My dad is Christian Scientist and we went to church with him all the time."
"So you expect me to believe you''re Christian Scientist when your mom is a nurse?"
"Seriously, why do you think I talk funny? My dad wouldn''t take me to a doctor when I had ear infections. I ended up with 10 years of speech therapy because of it." (He''s got a speech impediment.)

Turns out he was being dead serious. I felt awful.

 

[Girlrocks]

Date: 2/23/2010 10:01:21 AM
Author: radiantquest
I have a funny story that snowflake reminded me of. The problem that I have is that in some situations the noise level gets a little bit louder and I have to speak up. Well this particular time we were talking about showers or soap or something and I was commenting about the mitt that I use. It is a little bear with a pink scarf. I was telling my friend about how my husband said that I need to put it in the washer because it was starting to stink. At the exact time I said ''I sniffed my mitt and it doesnt stink.'' all the noise around me had stopped and that is what everyone around heard.

I have come back to re-read this at least 6 times. This is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. ROFLMAO!! Thanks!

 

[swimmer]

It happens altogether too often!

On the first day of school one year I was matching kids up with names and a girl looked so familiar, exactly like a slew of kids from a huge family in our town. I asked if she was a "Jones" and she looked confused and said, "No, but they live across the street." Oh my. I never ask anymore.

My mom bumped into a friend at the store who was with another woman shopping, Mom said "Oh, you must be x''s daughter." To the stricken faces mom replied, "oh no I have made a huge mistake, please just ignore that question and we will move on." The women life-partners smiled and remain her dear friends. This is my example for why people should always apologize. It really works and is totally worth it.

 

[Liane]

I don''t have any good stories to add, but I am loving this thread. Thank you all for sharing them; it''s made my day better.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/22/2010 7:49:08 PM
Author: fiery
I asked a horrible, horrible question during my interview with my current job.

The woman, our former Sr. Director, was so inviting. She talked about the position but towards the end asked about Thanksgiving plans. When I told her I was going to see my family in Orlando and that I didn''t have family locally, she went on to discuss how she, her husband, and two children just moved to Miami from Texas. She said they were in Texas because they had just adopted their daughter, had to live there for a few months, and then moved to Miami once the adoption was finalized. This was all information that she gave me, I didn''t ask her anything.

The conversation got quiet so I asked something that you should never, ever, ever ask:

So what made you decide to adopt?

It was like diarrhea mouth. The words were coming out, I couldn''t stop it, I couldn''t take it back. I felt awful. She was awesome about it and went into her reason (she had TTC her son and had spent 6 years TTC for another).

That could have went a whole other direction because it was an extremely personal question that I had no business asking. To this day the story embarrasses the crap out of me. Turns out she''s very open and honest about her TTC journey and adoption story. But OMG talk about inappropriate questions.

I did something similar TODAY at my second interview for a position I''m really interested in. Towards the end of the dialogue, one of the interviewers asked me if I would be okay with the distance between my home and their office (the company is based in a nearby town), and I mentioned that we were looking to move once I found a suitable position so City X is looking favourable right now (City X is between where I live currently and this company). She responded by saying that she lives in City X. So I ask her how she finds the city and she then spent the next 15 min talking about how she loves it except that it''s a bit too affluent and snotty and everyone sends their kids to private school. To which I answered ''oh, that''s quite sad'' - only for her to say that both her kids are in private school

. Stupid. Big. Fat. Mouth.

I rarely have foot-in-mouth situations because I tend to keep my thoughts to myself unless it''s someone very very close to me. Sucks I had to open the trap at at such an inopportune time.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/22/2010 9:47:10 PM
Author: LittleGreyKitten


My DH works with a lot of people who''ve known him since he was little, know his whole family etc. Unfortunately his mom stopped speaking to him a few years ago (he was the last person in his family who had contact with her.) And so a lot of people innocently ask ''So how''s your mom?'' And then DH has to decide if he wants to blurt out ''I have no idea, she stopped returning my calls for no reason I can think of four years ago, you probably know better than I do'' or something like that. Awkward, and happens every few weeks, and of course nobody has any reason to think they''re asking anything major.

Something similar here for me too, but I just respond with a ''she''s good'' - even though I have no idea if she''s good or not!

 

[luckystar112]

As a substitute teacher I am destroying childhoods one child at a time....

The first incident was a few weeks ago. I had a classroom full of 6th grade boys who were extremely hyper and acting goofy. We were all joking and giving each other a hard time, but in a funny way. One of the boys kept talking to me in this obnoxious voice, so when he asked to go to the bathroom I said, "Sure, Kermit!"
Well, the others just stared at me in bewilderment before laughing uncontrollably. Turns out that is his real voice (and it wasn''t a cracking puberty voice...he probably had some speech impediment that I was unaware of). He looked so humiliated.

Then of course the other kids kept calling him Kermit for the rest of the day. I had to pull them aside and beg them to PLEASE stop. I just assumed he was using that voice with me to be funny, since he was kind of the class clown.

So. Foot in mouth.

So then TODAY I had the 2nd graders. After I picked them up from gym class we took a trip to the bathroom/water fountains. They were taking forever in the bathroom, and so when a boy came out I saw that there were a ton of kids in there, including Alex, the cute little girl with the pretty ponytail. When Alex came out I said "What were you doing in the boys room?" Alex just stared at me. I go, "You CANNOT go in the boys the room. You are supposed to use the girls room"
Alex just looked confused. Finally, another boy goes "Alex IS a boy!"

I had spent all day with Alex and I had NO IDEA. The ponytail completely threw me off. Not to mention they were uniforms at that school and he was hanging out with the girls all day. Boy did I feel like jacka$$. Luckily my little snafu wasn''t brought up again.

 

[jas]

I love this thread if only because it makes me feel not-so-alone with my chronic Athletes Tongue...from foot in mo..oh, you get it.

There was a time when I was teaching and as I was working with students independently, I kept hearing a whistle...like the beginning of West Side Story. This was fairly late in the year and this class was full of clowns who loved to make weird noises to each other in efforts to get each other to laugh. (6th graders, apparently that''s the height of humor.) I was just fed up with the shenanigans of this class, got very serious, and said, "Who is whistling when I''m trying to help this group learn?" (Boy was I all high and mighty on the learnin'' train). The ASL translator who was there for the profoundly deaf child in my class quickly and loudly told me that the whistling was from the deaf student''s hearing aids. Go me!

Then there was the time (and I may have told this story here already) when I was working a dorm raffle back in college. One girl who I felt fairly friendly with came up to buy a ticket. To my horror, I couldn''t remember her last name and was too embarrassed to admit that to her, so I cleverly asked, "Would you spell your name for me? I never get it right..."

S-M-I-T-H

I could go on...

 

[jas]

Oh, and Haven, yikes. And yikes again. I don''t know if you are referring to the North Shore area of Illinois, where I live, but I''ve encountered the same exact thing (not at the doctor''s office, but the school where I worked.) Ugh.

 

[Maisie]

Some of these stories are making me go

while others are making me go

This is a great thread.

 

[zoebartlett]

Some of these stories are really great, and some are heart-warming. Gecko, you''re right that you never really know how comments affect others. What a sweet story!

I know I''ve put my foot in my mouth plenty of times but I''ve (conveniently) forgotten the stories.

 

[oddoneout]

Date: 2/23/2010 2:27:39 PM
Author: Girlrocks

Date: 2/23/2010 10:01:21 AM

Author: radiantquest

I have a funny story that snowflake reminded me of. The problem that I have is that in some situations the noise level gets a little bit louder and I have to speak up. Well this particular time we were talking about showers or soap or something and I was commenting about the mitt that I use. It is a little bear with a pink scarf. I was telling my friend about how my husband said that I need to put it in the washer because it was starting to stink. At the exact time I said ''I sniffed my mitt and it doesnt stink.'' all the noise around me had stopped and that is what everyone around heard.

I have come back to re-read this at least 6 times. This is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. ROFLMAO!! Thanks!

I keep reading it and laughing too.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I tend to have a massive problem with this. I've had to warn people ahead of time that I'm terrible in certain situations and could potentially just . . . spill.

I have a colleague who lost his 3 month old baby to viral meningitis in July 2008.

That whole situation was MONTHS of foot-in-mouth because he offices right next to me and we talked often. He had an older son, and both children's names started with Js. I know I swapped names accidentally and I'm sure I offended him during one of our conversations. Better news to wrap that story up; he and his wife just had a baby girl in November. Her name starts with a K!

Also, I am in inside sales, and I come across names that are great in other cultures and languages, but not so much in English. I spoke with one woman whose name was spelled with so much complexity that I had to ask how to pronounce both names. Last name, then her first. Once I said it aloud I realized what I had just said! Turns out her full name was essentially pronounced "hymen", which my male teammate could NOT get past.

 

[Haven]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 81px">Date: 2/23/2010 5:40:30 PM
Author: jas
Oh, and Haven, yikes. And yikes again. I don''t know if you are referring to the North Shore area of Illinois, where I live, but I''ve encountered the same exact thing (not at the doctor''s office, but the school where I worked.) Ugh.

You got it! We live in the town with the fabulous summer outdoor theatre venue.

 

[whitby_2773]

about 20 years ago (clearly i''m not over this) i was at the hairdresser with my best friend. my hair was just finished, having been cut and styled. wendy''s was still being dried and another stationary hair dryer was also going, so there was plenty of noise in the salon. the hairdresser walked away from me and wendy was making admiring comments about my hair.

i was very pleased with how it had come out, so i nodded and said...

"yes..." (at this point both wendy''s hair dryer turns off and so does the other dryer, so salon is dead silent)

"...i think it''s the best blow job i''ve ever had!"

(blow DRY job, whitby...blow DRY job!)

i was hugely embarrassed, but i thought wendy was going to choke on her own tongue, she was laughing so hard.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 2/23/2010 5:10:34 PM
Author: luckystar112
As a substitute teacher I am destroying childhoods one child at a time....

The first incident was a few weeks ago. I had a classroom full of 6th grade boys who were extremely hyper and acting goofy. We were all joking and giving each other a hard time, but in a funny way. One of the boys kept talking to me in this obnoxious voice, so when he asked to go to the bathroom I said, ''Sure, Kermit!''

Well, the others just stared at me in bewilderment before laughing uncontrollably. Turns out that is his real voice (and it wasn''t a cracking puberty voice...he probably had some speech impediment that I was unaware of). He looked so humiliated.

Then of course the other kids kept calling him Kermit for the rest of the day. I had to pull them aside and beg them to PLEASE stop. I just assumed he was using that voice with me to be funny, since he was kind of the class clown.

So. Foot in mouth.

So then TODAY I had the 2nd graders. After I picked them up from gym class we took a trip to the bathroom/water fountains. They were taking forever in the bathroom, and so when a boy came out I saw that there were a ton of kids in there, including Alex, the cute little girl with the pretty ponytail. When Alex came out I said ''What were you doing in the boys room?'' Alex just stared at me. I go, ''You CANNOT go in the boys the room. You are supposed to use the girls room''

Alex just looked confused. Finally, another boy goes ''Alex IS a boy!''

I had spent all day with Alex and I had NO IDEA. The ponytail completely threw me off. Not to mention they were uniforms at that school and he was hanging out with the girls all day. Boy did I feel like jacka$$. Luckily my little snafu wasn''t brought up again.

HAHAHAHAHAHA you are a childhood destroyer! Poor lucky!

 

[Novel]

Love this thread! Can I share an "I saw it happen" story?

I work at a food Coop and I''m a cashier. Recently, I was checking someone out when a cute guy came up to be checked out at by the girl next to me. He had only Epsom Salts. So, she makes conversation with him and starts asking him if he is going to take a warm bath with them, how comfy that is, etc. He looked happy to be talking to her but then got all weird about it. And then:

Him: No, I''m not going to take a bath.
Her: Really? What else can you use Epsom Salts for?
Him: Um.... as a laxative.

Boom. Silence. Two bright red faces. Attempted hitting on done. And then hysterical laughter once he left (aimed at her).

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/23/2010 7:05:35 PM
Author: Novel
Love this thread! Can I share an ''I saw it happen'' story?


I work at a food Coop and I''m a cashier. Recently, I was checking someone out when a cute guy came up to be checked out at by the girl next to me. He had only Epsom Salts. So, she makes conversation with him and starts asking him if he is going to take a warm bath with them, how comfy that is, etc. He looked happy to be talking to her but then got all weird about it. And then:


Him: No, I''m not going to take a bath.

Her: Really? What else can you use Epsom Salts for?

Him: Um.... as a laxative.


Boom. Silence. Two bright red faces. Attempted hitting on done. And then hysterical laughter once he left (aimed at her).

AMAZING

 

[kama_s]

Some of these stories are pure GOLD!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/23/2010 5:38:48 PM
Author: jas
I love this thread if only because it makes me feel not-so-alone with my chronic Athletes Tongue...from foot in mo..oh, you get it.


There was a time when I was teaching and as I was working with students independently, I kept hearing a whistle...like the beginning of West Side Story. This was fairly late in the year and this class was full of clowns who loved to make weird noises to each other in efforts to get each other to laugh. (6th graders, apparently that''s the height of humor.) I was just fed up with the shenanigans of this class, got very serious, and said, ''Who is whistling when I''m trying to help this group learn?'' (Boy was I all high and mighty on the learnin'' train). The ASL translator who was there for the profoundly deaf child in my class quickly and loudly told me that the whistling was from the deaf student''s hearing aids. Go me!

Then there was the time (and I may have told this story here already) when I was working a dorm raffle back in college. One girl who I felt fairly friendly with came up to buy a ticket. To my horror, I couldn''t remember her last name and was too embarrassed to admit that to her, so I cleverly asked, ''Would you spell your name for me? I never get it right...''


S-M-I-T-H


I could go on...

I did this just *yesterday* when I asked someone whose name I should know how to spell her name because I couldn''t remember it. O-L-G-A. Good grief. I said, "well that makes sense" but what I was really thinking was, "well how am I supposed to remember your name is olga when you don''t look like an Olga"

 

[Cehrabehra]

This one time I was in a dermatologist office waiting to be seen and a pharm rep came in and was asked to wait. We were the only two in the room and this man was beautiful - striking. Good looking but also so unique looking. I asked him what nationality he was and he looked at me like I was nutso and said, "American". so I clarified - no I mean what ethnicity are you? He scoffed and said, "I''m black". I said, "well I know that, but I was wondering if you had something else." He was really beautiful and looked like he had egyptian or I have no idea - something exotic and wonderful... but he just said, "I don''t know - I''m black, just black." and I felt about >this< big. When I got home I asked a friend of mine who is also black how I screwed that one up and she said that some people are really sensitive about their heritage because they don''t have family records the way many whites do. How lousy do I feel trying to tell this guy he is uniquely beautiful?

 

[Vancity]

I was participating in a focus group for a well known local restaurant chain. When I 1st entered the room, I noticed I was the only woman present. Not a problem. I''m at ease anywhere.

Everyone starts to introduce themselves, and says a few words about the restaurant....

Attention turns to me, and I announce how much I l*love* their BBQ ribs, followed by a very robust:

"I can eat most men under the table!"

A hush fell over the room, quickly followed by uproarious laughter. Turns out the CEO was behind the one-way mirror. He comes out after the session, and hands me a gift certificate for $250, and says he hasn''t laughed that hard in 20 years.

...and that is story of how I made a room full of grown men cry

 

[jas]

Date: 2/23/2010 6:58:46 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 2/23/2010 5:40:30 PM
Author: jas
Oh, and Haven, yikes. And yikes again. I don''t know if you are referring to the North Shore area of Illinois, where I live, but I''ve encountered the same exact thing (not at the doctor''s office, but the school where I worked.) Ugh.

You got it! We live in the town with the fabulous summer outdoor theatre venue.

Yeah, we probably know a lot of the same people. I worked in that school district for 10 years. Whee!