When does it get too late to invite people?

[bem3231]

Hi all -

So, our ''first round'' of invites went out about six weeks ago. The ''reply by'' date is tomorrow. There are some unexpected regrets replies that we''ve received just recently. I did not invite anyone from my workplace in our first round because we had a tight capacity, but I would like to invite them now if possible given that we will have the room.

I have blank cards / envelopes from our stationary suite that I could send in lieu of the rsvp card that has tomorrow as the reply-by date, so that the new invitees don''t necessarily know that they were an ''afterthought''. Our wedding is July 26th - about 6.5 weeks out. Is it too late to send out a few more invites without it seeming tacky?

Help!

Thank you!!

 

[aprilcait]

You''re 6.5 weeks from our wedding? IMO, you''re fiiine for sending out a second round. We had to do the same because of unexpected cancellations and declines. We sent out our second round a month before the big day and gave a two week RSVP time frame. The funny thing is we got a better response from the second round when we gave them a shorter RSVP time (i.e.: people actually RSVP''d) than we did from the first round.

 

[buttercup80]

Date: 6/13/2008 1:31:09 PM
Author: aprilcait
IMO, you''re fiiine for sending out a second round...

Ditto. I would think you could send ''em out up to about a month before. . .

 

[sap483]

Time wise you''re ok, but do these guests know that you have already sent your invites out? If so, then they will clearly know that they are "B" list guests. Just something to think about!

 

[laine]

I don''t think its too late, but even if they don''t know you already sent invites, chances are these people will know that they are "B-listers." As long as you''re ok with that, go for it.

 

[Pandora II]

Hi Bem,

I think that''s fine.

I sent some more out today. I''ve invited all of FI & my friends, but we have some spares for my parents. The thing that is driving me mad is 6 guests who just will not let me know.

One is one of my best friends, but she lives in Italy with DH and 2 kids and I''m 99.9% certain that she can''t make it, and that she''s not telling me as she feels bad. I keep telling her I don''t mind and we''ll come and see them in Italy instead, but she just won''t make her mind up. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The other couple, she is the ex-wife of FI''s best man - and is now dating one of her ex''s best friends (who was her sister''s bf for 3 years). I actually really don''t care for her, and if she wasn''t dating this guy who we all really like, she''d never have been invited.

Apparently she ''can''t decide how she feels until nearer the date'' - She''s had the STD since xmas FFS!

I will be so p''d off if it screws my table plan (sounds stupid doesn''t it but I''d be supremely irritated...), and if we don''t invite people we could have because she can''t get her act together one way or another.

Why are weddings sooooooo complicated!

 

[Rhea]

I sent a 2nd round out at 6 weeks to go. I think wedding invitations are going out earlier and earlier. I think 4-8 weeks is fine for invites in most situations.

 

[FireGoddess]

It''s still plenty of time ahead to send out more invites, though the lack of RSVP card (or handwritten one, or blank one) since you can''t use the preprinted ones will be a giveaway that they are second round invites. If you feel right about it, go for it. I know that some coworkers understand that family obligations make them a given on the second round invite list. Some people are offended by that, some aren''t. Not much you can do about it though.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 6/13/2008 5:45:49 PM
Author: FireGoddess
It''s still plenty of time ahead to send out more invites, though the lack of RSVP card (or handwritten one, or blank one) since you can''t use the preprinted ones will be a giveaway that they are second round invites. If you feel right about it, go for it. I know that some coworkers understand that family obligations make them a given on the second round invite list. Some people are offended by that, some aren''t. Not much you can do about it though.

That''s what I was thinking. As FG and others have said, if you''re fine with this, go for it. Honestly, I''d hesitate to do this for the reason FG gave, but if you''re okay with it, it''s fine to send them invitations.

 

[bem3231]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone - I appreciated it!

Our ''rsvp by'' date is today, so I''m going to give this some more thought over the weekend and then make a decision. I''m so glad to hear about other''s experiences with this, though - and to know that I''m not the only one dealing with it!

 

[honey22]

I think most people are aware that nunbers can be strict at weddings and there are always second round offers so to speak. It''s not about being an after-thought, it''s just life that you can only have x people and a list of preference I guess you could call it. I have recently gone to a collegues wedding after being invited a week out. I understood that he could only limit it to 80 people and I was glad I was somewhere on that list. I just happened to be lower than close friends or family - I would expect this.

Really if people are narky about this and can''t understand this concept, well I they are not really the people you want there celebrating your big day. If you are worried about it or someone makes a comment, just explain to them that you are on strict numbers are you couldn''t invite everyone first up, but that you are really pleased that some of the relos have pulled out and you can get around to inviting the people you wanted there initially. Sadly, you just can''t please everyone, it''s you day, so please yourself