when do the parents meet?

[chetmichaels]

traditionally i guess?
her folks and my folks have never met. i''ve asked her folks for their blessing already, and got it. got it from my folks also. going to propose very soon. should the folks have met already?...

 

[Blair138]

funny you ask this. FI''s parents and mine just met. We have been engaged 3 months and together 4.5. I don''t think there''s a ''right'' time for them to meet, whatever works for you and your GF. Though, I did get lots of comments that it was weird our parents hadn''t met yet...

whatever-I''m not in high school anymore and our parents live 45 minutes from each other and there was no good time ever-we had to set up a special dinner. I would talk to your GF and see what''s good for you 2-and then set it up and let the parents know. That''s how we did it and it was fine.

 

[chetmichaels]

wait, so its been 4 years, 9 months ish and this is the first time they met?

i can understand it, as my folks and future in laws are busy. but we only live about 20 min away. funny though, as far as i know neither have asked to meet the others yet. lol. dunno if it is a bad sign

 

[JulieN]

Traditionally, after you propose and the fiancee tells her family, her parents are supposed to call his parents. However, if that call doesn't happen, his parents should pick up the ball.

 

[debzy103]

My boyfriend is probably going to propose within the next 2-3 months. Our parents met last weekend. We (and they!) were really excited to have everyone meet. Plus, we figured it''s better to get them talking before the stress of the wedding (and associated costs) come into the picture.

We planned dinner at a restaurant for everyone and it went GREAT!

Good luck when you plan on the big introduction!

 

[vita*dolce]

i think traditionally parents don''t usually meet until there''s an engagement, but if you''d like them to meet each other before that i don''t see any reason why you should arrange some kind of meeting. debzy''s logic seems pretty sound, it might make things seem a little less hectic during the wedding planning! good luck!

 

[trillionaire]

My SO and I met in college in California. His parents lived 6 hrs from our school, and my parents were in the midwest. The only time they "could" have met was at graduation, but they didn''t know that we had gotten back together at the time

. We both spent lots of time with each other''s families over the years, and I finally just made the executive decision that our families would have Thanksgiving together last year. It was SOOOOOOO funny, everyone was nervous and anxious, and wondering if it was a good decision (the families were, not SO and I) At any rate, it was great, and everyone LOVED it, esp because it was like a mini vacay for my family and we were all traveling together for the first time in years. They are still all raving about it, and I think BOTH families really feel good about having met the other parents and kids. We had been dating for 4 years at the time, and our 5th anni is in less than two weeks!!!

I don''t think there is a perfect time to meet, just when it is arranged. If she is big on family, I have seen and heard of a lot of proposals that include the family being present, and that always seems to go over well. It''s also a great "when we first met" memory. Otherwise, just be careful to be nonchalant. If you suddenly seem really anxious to get everyone together, she might be suspicious of your intentions. A surprise get together could be fun too, if you coordinated the folks but just didn''t tell her. *shrugs* Or Potlucks can be fun!

Good luck!

 

[Calla18]

Truly, I believe it''s whenever you two are ready for it...

My hunny and I have been together for 8 years.. for the first 2 years of our relationship our parents lived 5 minutes away from eachother...then my parents moved a 4 hour flight away. My parents are coming up in a few weeks and I made dinner reservations at the restaurant I work at to do the parental introduction! Both of our moms have brought up meeting eachother in the past. We''ve been living together to 2 years now and the reason we put it off for so long is because we were nervous about how they would respond to eachother. My parents are kinda wacky and crazy and his parents are super conservative and traditional. Now that its getting closer I''m excited about it and think everything will be just fine!

 

[tessari]

Our moms met less than a year into our relationship and they''re now really good friends. They have even hung out without me and my BF around! I think it''s awesome. You should do whatever you''re comfortable with. I think it''s silly to wait until after engagement tho...but I am not traditional at all.

 

[JSM]

They haven''t yet! They live 500 miles away from each other (a little more if you include FI''s father and father''s wife). I imagine it will be at or around the wedding...

 

[Elmorton]

Dh''s mom and my mom met either a summer before or right after we were engaged...I can''t remember. Our moms both love the theater so we went to an outdoor shakespeare festival and had a picnic dinner. After we were engaged, our parents basically played telephone through us to set up dinners - my parents and his live an hour and a half away from each other, but DH and I were living in the smack middle. We had dinner with my parents and Dh''s dad and step mom first and then about a week later, dinner with my parents and Dh''s mom. We did things sortof the "traditional" way because it worked with our locations and that''s what our parents wanted/expected, but I don''t think there is any right or wrong way for the parents to meet.

I''ve heard of families meeting at the rehearsal dinner or an evening before the wedding weekend, and while our parents would have been bothered by that, I think it really depends on a lot of factors, such as travel feasibility, the age of the bride and groom, the closeness of the parents to their children, etc.

 

[Pandora II]

Our parents met at our wedding!

It wasn''t supposed to be that way, but DH''s parents are divorced and both remarried and live 2 hours away from each other. My parents live about 4 hours drive from either.

My mother has MS and has been very ill for the last few years and so it just never happened.

They all got on very well when they finally met!

DH and I had been together just under 4 years when we married and had been living together for 3.5 years. We are both in our mid-30''s, and don''t live near our families so it was less of an important thing to be honest.

 

[Rhea]

Our parents met three days before the wedding. They should just meet whenever they have time.

 

[Sangrona]

It depends on whose traditions you are asking about. Being hispanic and raised in Texas so close to Mexico, I will tell you that it is a Mexican tradition that the groom and his parents (or his god-parents if his parents are no longer living) go together to ask for the bride''s hand in marriage.

I have several cousins who are more "modern" and the man proposed without asking for permission or even a blessing and none of the parent''s kicked money into the planning until the groom''s parents came with him to ask for the bride''s hand in marriage.

Personally, I think that it is more symbolic than anything, but it is nice to know that there are families out there that still believe in tradition.

 

[oobiecoo]

My hubby proposed on July 4th and invited my parents (who live about 4 hours away) and his parents (30 mins away)to dinner with a couple of other family members. His parents left almost IMMEDIATELY after my parents arrived which I thought was kind of rude but they are older and go to bed early so i guess that was their excuse. My parents had a 4 hour ride back home late at night though and they even stayed a while. Whatever. Anyway, the next time they saw each other was at the wedding.

I would recommend asking everyone over for dinner or something sometime after you propose.

 

[mynewobsession]

My BF and I have been together for 7 years and our parents haven''t met yet. It''s hard because we''re in Michigan and his mom lives in Kansas. We''re both a little anxious about when it does happen because our families are SO different, but I''m sure they''ll get along. Our moms are both cake decorators, so atleast they have something in common! They will probably end up meeting sometime after he proposes, maybe even around the wedding time - whatever happens, happens I guess!