When do I give the band?

[SureShoe]

I'm getting the final preparations together for the proposal.

Here's the question:
I bought 2 bands to go with the ring, one for each side.
We had browsed rings, and I know this is what she wants. I had played it off as "well, we'll buy the ring, then we'll buy a band before the wedding and maybe get the 2nd band for our 1 year." I basically told her we can't afford it, which is a lie, but oh well

When I propose, I'll give the ring. That's the easy part
When do I tell her I already bought 1 wedding band. And, when should I tell her I have the 2nd band?

The 1st band is no surpise - obviously she knows she'll get that one.

Part of the issue is I've shelled out the money for it, so once we're married, I sorta want her to wait for it.
We'll probably get married in August 2007. I was thinking about giving it to her on her birthday (in September 2007) or Christmas 2007.

OR.... I was thinking about giving it to her for Christmas 2006.
Or..... I was thinking about showing her the 1st band sometime later, which she'll love. Then, giving the 2nd to ME for Christmas 2006. I was going to say from Santa to Me, and when I opened it, I'd act all confused Then I'd say something like "oh Santa must want me to give this to you after we're married."

I dunno.

I'm hoping some of you romantics can help me

 

[JulieN]

a complete surprise.

 

[FacetFire]

Honestly, I''d probably hold onto it for awhile. I''d give her the first when when you get married (obviously), then the second for a special event soon afterwards. That way, she still gets it before she expected to, but you also get to make a fun surprise gift out of it. I love the idea of giving it to her for her birthday soon after the wedding. I know it might be hard not to spill the beans ahead of time, but I think it''s worth it.

 

[diamondfan]

what kind of bands are they? will the ring look off kilter without the second one? I might give it to her on your honeymoon...sort of just gotten married gift...and given on the honeymoon it will be even more memorable. Although certainly your honeymoon will be anyway!!! But, that is just my opinion, because it would probably look awesome all together and then you do not have to hold it and wonder when to do it. (see how practical I am?)

 

[nowonder]

How about the anniversary of when you started dating? That way the three rings symbolize the three big steps in the relationship, when you started dating, when you got engaged, and when you got married...

--nw

 

[SureShoe]

All 3 are channel bands, except the ring has a cathedral setting.
(I attached a pic)

The ring looking "balanced" was one of the reasons she wanted 2 bands. She''s not going to throw a fit or anything if I make her wait for the 2nd band, but I have this feeling she won''t be 100% happy. Don''t get me wrong, she''s FANTASTIC, and I know she''s willing to wait. But, I don''t want to make her wait just for the sake of making her wait.

We first met 4 days after her birthday, so that''s a doable date... I''m thinking I like that. Of course, it requires me double dipping on brithday, hahah... she''s worth it I guess

 

[laine]

My vote would be either on the honeymoon (if you just can''t wait), or the anniversary of when you met. Like nowonder said, it would be sweet for the other band to represent meeting her and how special that was, rather than just being a band to balance things out.

 

[diamondjunkie]

I would give it to her at your wedding. Instead of putting one band on her finger I would put both of them on and tell her you realized you wanted to marry her "twice as much". (I totally understand that balance thing, lol)

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 7/24/2006 10:53:20 AM
Author: diamondjunkie
I would give it to her at your wedding. Instead of putting one band on her finger I would put both of them on and tell her you realized you wanted to marry her ''twice as much''. (I totally understand that balance thing, lol)

I like this idea too -- probably because it''s what I''m not so secretly hoping for myself

. You could hide one of the rings in your palm so she totally isn''t expecting TWO ... but when it comes time to put it on - big suprise!

I TOTALLY understand about the niggling little "incomplete" or "unbalanced" feeling. Arrgh. I''m such a pain the the patootie sometimes, even to my own self!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I definitely wouldn''t give her a band before you are married. So skip this Christmas. I''d vote for giving it at the same time as the wedding band, on the honeymoon, or at the very latest, her birthday, or 4 days after for the dating anniversary.

 

[Groovy Chick]

I vote for the honeymoon eg, when you first arrive in your hotel or at dinner that night or some other romantic setting. I wouldn''t give it on the wedding day coz it''s too much all at once! Save it for later... It will make a fantastic suprise for the honeymoon!

GC from NZ