What''s your opinion on this.

[Irishgrrrl]

Personally, I don''t have any children. But if I did, I don''t know if DH and I would spank them or not . . . I''m really torn on that issue. I don''t judge people who spank their own children, but I''m not sure if I would do it to my own if I had any . . . does that make sense???

What I do know for sure is that I would be HORRIFIED if someone else spanked my child!

Date: 8/21/2008 12:24:57 PM
Author: Northern Lights
My Scandinavian husband whose second language is English, read the post and found the word offensive.

I just find it hard to believe that in this day in age someone would have the gull to say they didn''t know. You can list all the excuses all you want, and some people may believe them, but I''m not buying it.

And I''m sorry, but I just have to mention this: While we''re on the subject of appropriate word usage in the English language, a "gull" is a bird. "Gall" is nerve.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/20/2008 1:37:52 PM
Author:Gypsy
I read this and walked away feeling I live in a bubble because I cannot imagine ANYONE taking a hand (or a paddle

) to my kids at school. I didn''t even know this was still legal.

Are you guys okay with this? (not in the house, by parents. But specifically in schools).

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20080820/NEWS-USA-SCHOOLS-PUNISHMENT-DC/

When I was in school (a number of years ago ) parents signed a permission slip if they wanted to give the principal permission (and it was used very rarely, I can assure you) to paddle. It''s a much different world today; most kids then would have been in much bigger trouble by the time they got home than they ever would have been at school. Kids today are not disciplined by their parents, and almost no one spanks. PARENTS are responsible for the discipline problems in public schools today.

Should you spank your children? Yes. If that is the best answer.
Should you beat your children? Of course not. You need to have your kids taken away if you do.
Should you berate your children until they have no self-esteem left? THAT is the most damaging thing you can do to a child. A swat on the @$$ doesn''t even come close to that kind of abuse. And yet, we see it everyday. But, thank God, thanks to the busybodies who would report them, they aren''t spanking their child.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/21/2008 1:55:08 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/20/2008 1:37:52 PM
Author:Gypsy
I read this and walked away feeling I live in a bubble because I cannot imagine ANYONE taking a hand (or a paddle

) to my kids at school. I didn''t even know this was still legal.

Are you guys okay with this? (not in the house, by parents. But specifically in schools).

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20080820/NEWS-USA-SCHOOLS-PUNISHMENT-DC/

When I was in school (a number of years ago <cough>) parents signed a permission slip if they wanted to give the principal permission (and it was used very rarely, I can assure you) to paddle. It''s a much different world today; most kids then would have been in much bigger trouble by the time they got home than they ever would have been at school. Kids today are not disciplined by their parents, and almost no one spanks. PARENTS are responsible for the discipline problems in public schools today.

Should you spank your children? Yes. If that is the best answer.
Should you beat your children? Of course not. You need to have your kids taken away if you do.
Should you berate your children until they have no self-esteem left? THAT is the most damaging thing you can do to a child. A swat on the @$$ doesn''t even come close to that kind of abuse. And yet, we see it everyday. But, thank God, thanks to the busybodies who would report them, they aren''t spanking their child.

Holly, I agree 100%!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/21/2008 2:00:11 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/21/2008 1:55:08 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/20/2008 1:37:52 PM
Author:Gypsy
I read this and walked away feeling I live in a bubble because I cannot imagine ANYONE taking a hand (or a paddle

) to my kids at school. I didn''t even know this was still legal.

Are you guys okay with this? (not in the house, by parents. But specifically in schools).

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20080820/NEWS-USA-SCHOOLS-PUNISHMENT-DC/

When I was in school (a number of years ago <cough>) parents signed a permission slip if they wanted to give the principal permission (and it was used very rarely, I can assure you) to paddle. It''s a much different world today; most kids then would have been in much bigger trouble by the time they got home than they ever would have been at school. Kids today are not disciplined by their parents, and almost no one spanks. PARENTS are responsible for the discipline problems in public schools today.

Should you spank your children? Yes. If that is the best answer.
Should you beat your children? Of course not. You need to have your kids taken away if you do.
Should you berate your children until they have no self-esteem left? THAT is the most damaging thing you can do to a child. A swat on the @$$ doesn''t even come close to that kind of abuse. And yet, we see it everyday. But, thank God, thanks to the busybodies who would report them, they aren''t spanking their child.

Holly, I agree 100%!!!

I also agree...but Holly and I are both conservatives...hehehe....

I remember in 5th grade, I was having a tough time about something and my teacher took me aside and gave me the biggest hug. A quarter of a century later, I still remember that hug like it was yesterday...how much better I felt after it, the clean perfume she wore, etc. My friend who is a teacher today (in Los Angeles) says they can''t touch their students in any way. It made me so sad to hear that if I were a 5th grader today, there would be no more great big loving hugs from teachers.

 

[dragonfly411]

diddo diddo

To me a spanking is a just form of punishment, along with time out, being sent to one''s room etc. You don''t beat, you don''t berate.
I had a friend who was small, thin, spoiled rotten, mother didn''t believe in hitting/spanking, but mother always told her to watch her weight. She later became anorexic.
I also had a friend who bit her kids back, though not hard, when they bit, they stopped doing it afterwards (I actually used this on my sister when she was two haha, don''t tell mom shhhhh).
Some times its easier than a spanking. All my parents had to do was start the count down from one two three and I was hiding. I think I had one spanking, ever. When I failed a class, I wasn''t allowed to go anywhere, use the phone, or anything for the rest of the school year. SO all in all it depends on the child.

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 8/21/2008 2:04:14 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/21/2008 2:00:11 PM

Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/21/2008 1:55:08 PM

Author: HollyS

Date: 8/20/2008 1:37:52 PM

Author:Gypsy

I read this and walked away feeling I live in a bubble because I cannot imagine ANYONE taking a hand (or a paddle

) to my kids at school. I didn''t even know this was still legal.


Are you guys okay with this? (not in the house, by parents. But specifically in schools).


http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20080820/NEWS-USA-SCHOOLS-PUNISHMENT-DC/

When I was in school (a number of years ago <cough>) parents signed a permission slip if they wanted to give the principal permission (and it was used very rarely, I can assure you) to paddle. It''s a much different world today; most kids then would have been in much bigger trouble by the time they got home than they ever would have been at school. Kids today are not disciplined by their parents, and almost no one spanks. PARENTS are responsible for the discipline problems in public schools today.


Should you spank your children? Yes. If that is the best answer.

Should you beat your children? Of course not. You need to have your kids taken away if you do.

Should you berate your children until they have no self-esteem left? THAT is the most damaging thing you can do to a child. A swat on the @$$ doesn''t even come close to that kind of abuse. And yet, we see it everyday. But, thank God, thanks to the busybodies who would report them, they aren''t spanking their child.

Holly, I agree 100%!!!

I also agree...but Holly and I are both conservatives...hehehe....

I agree completely as well, and I''m the biggest liberal you''ll find!

Schools are a mess today, and it wasn''t too awfully long ago that I got out of highschool, so I remember quite vividly. The discipline problems are astronomical, and a lot of it has to do with parenting styles and lack of respect for authority figures. I just really don''t see physical punishment in schools as being the right method of fixing it.

 

[Northern Lights]

Date: 8/21/2008 1:49:18 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Personally, I don''t have any children. But if I did, I don''t know if DH and I would spank them or not . . . I''m really torn on that issue. I don''t judge people who spank their own children, but I''m not sure if I would do it to my own if I had any . . . does that make sense???

What I do know for sure is that I would be HORRIFIED if someone else spanked my child!

Date: 8/21/2008 12:24:57 PM
Author: Northern Lights
My Scandinavian husband whose second language is English, read the post and found the word offensive.

I just find it hard to believe that in this day in age someone would have the gull to say they didn''t know. You can list all the excuses all you want, and some people may believe them, but I''m not buying it.

And I''m sorry, but I just have to mention this: While we''re on the subject of appropriate word usage in the English language, a ''gull'' is a bird. ''Gall'' is nerve.

Yes, I am well aware of my typo, but thanks for taking the time to school me on proper grammar.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/21/2008 5:41:10 PM
Author: Northern Lights

Date: 8/21/2008 1:49:18 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Personally, I don''t have any children. But if I did, I don''t know if DH and I would spank them or not . . . I''m really torn on that issue. I don''t judge people who spank their own children, but I''m not sure if I would do it to my own if I had any . . . does that make sense???

What I do know for sure is that I would be HORRIFIED if someone else spanked my child!

Date: 8/21/2008 12:24:57 PM
Author: Northern Lights
My Scandinavian husband whose second language is English, read the post and found the word offensive.

I just find it hard to believe that in this day in age someone would have the gull to say they didn''t know. You can list all the excuses all you want, and some people may believe them, but I''m not buying it.

And I''m sorry, but I just have to mention this: While we''re on the subject of appropriate word usage in the English language, a ''gull'' is a bird. ''Gall'' is nerve.

Yes, I am well aware of my typo, but thanks for taking the time to school me on proper grammar.

No problem! Glad to help!

 

[LaraOnline]

I'm so embarrassed, that I'm going to post this:
(from dictionary.com)

Afro-
a combining form of Africa: Afro-American; Afro-Asiatic.

sorry if that prefix is no longer acceptable....but this is EXACTLY the way that I intended the use of the word...
personally - and what would I know - I don't think Condoleeza Rice, Nelson Mandela or Barack Obama would have any real problem with using 'Afro', but I guess it would be better to type out the full -America etc etc. I just couldn't be bothered, it seemed a little formal, and so many letter strokes!

anyway, please everybody, don't respond to this post because it just makes me feel worse.
Miscommunication is kinda yucky.

 

[Haven]

Lara, I think you handled the situation with grace. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

I agree with Musey''s post completely.

I also agree with Holly''s assertion that verbal abuse can be (and usually is) far more damaging than a spanking. As an educator, I''m ashamed to say that I have heard teachers (and deans, etc.) verbally abuse students by trying to tear them down emotionally. It''s sickening, and I always intervene when I hear it (even though (GASP!) I''m not tenured yet.)

I would be appalled if my (future) child was spanked by a teacher. Appalled and irate. I do not personally believe in spanking, and if I may say so myself, I think I''ve mastered some very effective methods of dealing with children when they misbehave WITHOUT laying a hand on them OR destroying their self-esteem.

After meeting hundreds of parents, getting a taste of their parenting style, and seeing the product of that style (in my little darlings) I must say that the ones with heavy hands do not have the best behaved children. But that''s another thread.

 

[LaraOnline]

Thanks, Haven, and thank you TravellingGal, too.

In relation to spanking, and child-rearing in general, there is no doubting that children are certainly very vunerable to abuse (of all kinds)
someone told me the other day that one in three children live in households where they are exposed to abuse. I mean, that is not at all a scientific study, but the general consensus is that abuse is extremely common.

I'm not so very sure that corporal punishment in schools is the main cause for alarm.
General child-rearing and discipline requires a real connection between the child and their carer(s). Many teachers face a hostile and disinterested student group, who tend to react to the teacher along stereotyped lines, in accordance with peer values.
I am in no way an advocate of corporal punishment, but, in all honestly, I think that child-rearing begins with parents.

It is parents that are perhaps isolated, unsupported, who are vunerable themselves to lashing out. Many parents may use corporal punishment as almost a revenge, to subdue an unruly child. I would say most parental corporal punishment is used in an adhoc, unsystematic way.
This is the corporal punishment that is most likely to leave scars that won't heal... in my opinion.
I would be completely lying if I said I had never laid a hand on my child, ever. The other day, Thomas quickly pulled his hand from mine, and rushed out into the road. Yes, I gave him a sharp smack on his padded bottom.

But yes, generally, it is a social improvement - and supportive of good parenting - to suggest that corporal punishment is wrong.