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What''s the average age to get married in your group of friends?

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fieryred33143

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I had to LOL at this question.

None of my friends or FI''s friends are married.

But the average length of relationships amongst us? 6 years.

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LOL
 

ringless

Shiny_Rock
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Early-mid 20''s. It seems like most of my friends and other high school aquaintances are getting married between 23 - 25.
 

gwendolyn

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A couple of years ago, most of my friends got engaged the same year, and then married the following. They were all 27 when they got engaged, and married at 28. J will probably be 28 when we get married, but I''ll be 31 or 32. A few of my friends aren''t married yet, so they''ll be like me--early to mid 30''s, or later, or....(dun dun dunnnnn!) not at all.
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But yeah, 28 seemed to be the most common amongst my friends. Dunno why, but there it is.
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Rock_of_Love

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Most of my friends have all been mid-30s. It''s kinda strange...we all did the went off to college/career thing first, I guess. But, now that one is getting married this June, the rest seem to be dropping like flies! Ha ha! I guess that is how it works sometimes in a close group...you seem to do the "life stages" around the same time.

Other friends outside the group have been late 20s early 30s...I don''t have too many friends that got married younger.
 

Still_Waiting

Brilliant_Rock
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It seems like there were two waves of weddings among my friends (though, of course, there were exceptions). The first was the group that married the summer after college graduation. I have a sister who falls into this category, although she''s four years younger than me. Most of these friends have at least one child. The second group married a few years after college...I''d say mid-20s. These are the folks that are now all pregnant with their first on the way. And then there''s me...
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I taught ESL in Korea about 1-1/2 years after graduation. When I came back from being abroad for the year, all my close friends had met someone, got engaged, and were planning their weddings! Although we''ve all hit the 30 mark now, I''m the only one who still doesn''t have their career under their belt, or married, or have children...*sigh*...I try not to compare myself to them, but sometimes I feel incredibly behind (whatever that means). Well, my SO was definitely worth the wait.

I have another sister who is four years older than me. She''s still not married (nor in a serious relationship). My youngest sister is eight years younger, has a boyfriend and I''m going to totally have a break down if they get married before we do!...but, I also won''t be surprised...oh, well!
 

Still_Waiting

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Date: 3/18/2009 4:16:42 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
Most of my friends have all been mid-30s. It''s kinda strange...we all did the went off to college/career thing first, I guess. But, now that one is getting married this June, the rest seem to be dropping like flies! Ha ha! I guess that is how it works sometimes in a close group...you seem to do the ''life stages'' around the same time.

Other friends outside the group have been late 20s early 30s...I don''t have too many friends that got married younger.
Totally true! My friends all married at the same time and now are all starting their families. It''s funny how that works. It''s just life, I suppose. People have more in common with others in similar life stages, don''t you think? (That''s not to say you can''t have friends who are different, though! Otherwise, I wouldn''t have ANY friends at all! LOL)
 

AmberGretchen

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Well, I''m turning 27 in a few weeks, most of my friends are a couple of years older than I am, and there have been weddings for the last two years with more planned for the upcoming years.
 

laughwithme

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I feel a bit like the black sheep...my close circle is very young and here is our "story."

I am 22. Two of my best friends were married last year, when they were 22. I will get married when I''m 23. Another best friend probably will be married at 24, though she has said over and over she wants to be married sooner. Most of the girls I work with that are around the age of 25 are all married.

One thing I''ve noticed is that when you want something, you see it everywhere, and in that case, I don''t know that I can offer a true opinion re. the number of girls I graduated with that are engaged - though it seems like a third of them are, I tend to focus on them and so in reality, maybe it''s like one-tenth are engaged.

I know that statistics say that the cultural trends are tending to lean towards marriage in the 30s, but I truly feel that when I look around, everyone I know is getting married young.

Anyone else feel this way?
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
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parents & up - early 20''s
Siblings - except my sister, non yet
friends - either early 20''s or mid 20''s (26ish)

right now i''d say we''re smack in the middle of our friends.
 

Octavia

Ideal_Rock
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Date: 3/18/2009 4:20:21 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
Oh - and kinda on topic, I meant to post above - a friend of mine is writing a book about '30 reasons NOT to marry before 30'


I'm curious to see what you guys think...

http://www.30reasons.com/


Her blog:

http://waittowed.blogspot.com/

I glanced at your friend's sites, and I can't say that I agree with what I saw. Some of it, yes, but I don't think that waiting until 30 for marriage is the best way for everyone. For those who aren't ready to be married until their 30s, sure. But there are a lot of disadvantages, too, especially for people who meet the right person earlier in life. My FI and I met when I was 23 and will get married when I'm 27...is there really any good reason for us to date for another three years when we're practically married already?

One big problem I have with her reasoning is that even though women can have babies later in life, that doesn't mean that it's best for our bodies or for everyone's future plans to do so. Being an older parent has plenty of downsides for each of its upsides.

I'm not just saying this because I'll be under 30 when I get married. I always planned to get married in my early 30s, but I met my FI earlier than my "plans" contemplated. I don't think people should rush into marriage if they're not ready until their 30s, but I think it's pretty silly to advocate that everyone wait that long.
 

fuzzers

Shiny_Rock
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Date: 3/18/2009 8:57:25 PM
Author: Octavia

Date: 3/18/2009 4:20:21 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
Oh - and kinda on topic, I meant to post above - a friend of mine is writing a book about ''30 reasons NOT to marry before 30''


I''m curious to see what you guys think...

http://www.30reasons.com/


Her blog:

http://waittowed.blogspot.com/

I glanced at your friend''s sites, and I can''t say that I agree with what I saw. Some of it, yes, but I don''t think that waiting until 30 for marriage is the best way for everyone. For those who aren''t ready to be married until their 30s, sure. But there are a lot of disadvantages, too, especially for people who meet the right person earlier in life. My FI and I met when I was 23 and will get married when I''m 27...is there really any good reason for us to date for another three years when we''re practically married already?

One big problem I have with her reasoning is that even though women can have babies later in life, that doesn''t mean that it''s best for our bodies or for everyone''s future plans to do so. Being an older parent has plenty of downsides for each of its upsides.

I''m not just saying this because I''ll be under 30 when I get married. I always planned to get married in my early 30s, but I met my FI earlier than my ''plans'' contemplated. I don''t think people should rush into marriage if they''re not ready until their 30s, but I think it''s pretty silly to advocate that everyone wait that long.
I agree with Octavia. What if you meet the person who is the one for you in high school? (I did). There is no way in heck I am waiting 14 years to get married to him. To me, that is ridiculous. Some people just like to settle down before others.
 

Rock_of_Love

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octavia & fuzzers...I hear ya! I actually have a really good friend who married her highschool sweetheart and they are very happy 20 years later! So, yeah, if you meet the right person, why wait??

I definitely don''t agree with her stance on women having babies later in life...I mean, that is true, we definitely see it in the media, etc. BUT, nothing has changed with our biology that should give us a false sense of security in waiting. Also, I agree, I definitely think our bodies are more "ready and able" when we are younger. I can say in my experience I *felt* more biologically ready when I was younger.

But, I do agree that I know myself better now than when I was younger...does it help or not in "finding someone"...I tend to think it does.

I think her book is a cute concept, but I don''t agree with everything...just thought it would be fun to add to this thread...since we''re all talkin'' about age and marriage.
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4ever

Ideal_Rock
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I''m a 20 year old uni student and most of my friends are the same. The only friend I have who is close is a girl I was friendly with at school who is getting married in November.

In my peer group get engaged or married young is dissaproved of. If someone my age is engaged people are very suprised and kinda bitchy about it which I think is just silly.

My SO wants to pop the question by the end of the year, so before I graduate which makes me worry about what people will say behind my back. In my opinion, age should have nothing to do with it.
 

supergirl10

Shiny_Rock
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Jun 21, 2008
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Well i can''t really answer that, Im 23 and of my four closest friends, I am the only one who is engaged and is serious with someone!

I do think education and continuing education has a lot to do with it. However in Australia barely anyone does their masters or PhD, its just not really a requirement for most professions (so there is no competition on the job market etc). With me personally my bachelor is taking longer than average cos I have been six, so six years but most people who gradaute highschool and go straight to uni will graduate at 21 and have a professional career. In that respect I do not envy most of you who have to wait for SO to graduate etc before you can get engaged! Saying that though out of my class of 100 who wil graduate at the end of the year i would estimate less than 10 are engaged, although i am a good two years older than most of them.

I also have noticed a trend with military personal (men and women) marrying younger than the average. This also applies to people who are religious (i am religous so please don''t take offence anyone). It is a generaliseation, but it appears as though younger christan couples become serious with SO''s at a younger age and date for a smaller period of time than the average before getting married!
 

AdiS

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Date: 3/18/2009 10:01:45 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
octavia & fuzzers...I hear ya! I actually have a really good friend who married her highschool sweetheart and they are very happy 20 years later! So, yeah, if you meet the right person, why wait??

I definitely don''t agree with her stance on women having babies later in life...I mean, that is true, we definitely see it in the media, etc. BUT, nothing has changed with our biology that should give us a false sense of security in waiting. Also, I agree, I definitely think our bodies are more ''ready and able'' when we are younger. I can say in my experience I *felt* more biologically ready when I was younger.

But, I do agree that I know myself better now than when I was younger...does it help or not in ''finding someone''...I tend to think it does.

I think her book is a cute concept, but I don''t agree with everything...just thought it would be fun to add to this thread...since we''re all talkin'' about age and marriage.
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That''s what it all boils down to, IMO. You could be 18 and know you''re dating the ONE. Of course, that doesn''t mean you have to elope right away and start bearing babies. But it doesn''t mean you have to wait till you''re 30 to marry him either. Or, you could be 30 and single. So, you''ve passed the big "wait till you''re 30" mark." So what? Get married to the first person you see because NOW you can?! Setting such time limits is stupid, tbh.
Sure, there are many valid reasons to marry in your 30''s. But one can give just as many and as valid reasons to marry in your 20''s. Or your 40''s and 50''s for that matter. There''s no age where love''s concerned. There''s... well, love!
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babygirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
120
Great topic, IrishEyes. For me, I''ve noticed that the answer depends on what part of the country (US) you live in. I grew up in the South, and the vast majority of my friends were married right out of college (even some out of high school) and are now having kids. However, I went to school in New England, and my college friends (and various) other friends are just kind of getting around to getting married now- I''m 27 and have been out of college for five years. Not to make a blanket statement here or anything, but most of my friends'' college relationships didn''t last very long in the real world, so people weren''t meeting their current serious bfs/gfs until 24 or 25. Many of my friends in the Northeast echoed a similar sentiment- that they wanted to be established in their careers and financially stable before marriage- whereas my friends in the South figured that it didn''t matter since neither they nor their significant others were generally particularly well-off just after graduation.

To me, financial stability before marriage isn''t that big of a deal. So you''re both poor- who cares?? You can be poor together! (That said, the cost of living in New England is QUITE a bit higher than it is in the South!)

...it''s a whole different story when it comes to having kids though!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 3/19/2009 4:07:44 AM
Author: AdiS
Date: 3/18/2009 10:01:45 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
octavia & fuzzers...I hear ya! I actually have a really good friend who married her highschool sweetheart and they are very happy 20 years later! So, yeah, if you meet the right person, why wait??

I definitely don''t agree with her stance on women having babies later in life...I mean, that is true, we definitely see it in the media, etc. BUT, nothing has changed with our biology that should give us a false sense of security in waiting. Also, I agree, I definitely think our bodies are more ''ready and able'' when we are younger. I can say in my experience I *felt* more biologically ready when I was younger.

But, I do agree that I know myself better now than when I was younger...does it help or not in ''finding someone''...I tend to think it does.

I think her book is a cute concept, but I don''t agree with everything...just thought it would be fun to add to this thread...since we''re all talkin'' about age and marriage.
1.gif
That''s what it all boils down to, IMO. You could be 18 and know you''re dating the ONE. Of course, that doesn''t mean you have to elope right away and start bearing babies. But it doesn''t mean you have to wait till you''re 30 to marry him either. Or, you could be 30 and single. So, you''ve passed the big ''wait till you''re 30'' mark.'' So what? Get married to the first person you see because NOW you can?! Setting such time limits is stupid, tbh.

Sure, there are many valid reasons to marry in your 30''s. But one can give just as many and as valid reasons to marry in your 20''s. Or your 40''s and 50''s for that matter. There''s no age where love''s concerned. There''s... well, love!
1.gif
Agreed. Generally speaking, and within reason, I don''t think age should have much (if anything) to do with one''s choice to get married. If I''d waited like I''d planned (which was until 30) before meeting my husband, we would''ve been waiting around for no other reason than just the sake of waiting. We already waited for the sake of being out of school and financially independent when we married, so after that, waiting for the sake of some magic age number didn''t make a whole lot of sense to us.

To each his or her own!
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
3,881
Date: 3/18/2009 9:26:34 AM
Author: AdiS
Date: 3/17/2009 2:52:20 PM

Author:IrishEyes08

Most of my friends married in their late 20''s, early 30''s. I remember reading somewhere that people who have graduate degrees, live in urban areas and are ''professionals'' generally focus on their career and education moreso than dating and settling down in their 20''s and typically marry and start families later. Myself and many of my friends fall into these categories which I guess would be why everyone waited a bit to settle down.


How about you girls? What do you think the average age for your married friends and family have been?
I guess that makes sense in theory but I''m one of those people who don''t really see how marriage can be an obstacle to a successful career. I''m 24, I do have a graduate degree, I was born and raised in the capital city of my country and I have a pretty solid career. And I got married at 21. At the time I was still in school. I am now the general manager of the company I work for. Same with my DH who is the same age as me and is also a very successful professional today.

In other words-we have the best of both worlds and one doesn''t really hamper the other. I don''t plan on having kids anytime soon though (for at least another 4-5 years) since that may very well turn out to be an obstacle to my career. Breast feeding and conducting a business meeting at the same time may be considered weird by some not so open-minded people.
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To answer your question, we''re the only married couple among our friends. I guess we''re the exception that proves the rule.

I''ve been thinking about this more lately. There is nothing to say that school and marriage are counterintuitive, but I think it is the financial aspect of being in school and being married where people are afraid that they won''t be able to do adequately? I''m not totally sure. I never wanted to get married until my late 20''s, or 30ish, but now that I won''t finish my degree until I am 30, it makes less sense to "wait until I finish" just for the sake of waiting until I am finished. And actually, married folks have better success in PhD programs than singles. I don''t know if it is the support/companionship, or the sense of responsibility, but something helps, lol!
 

PrincessLily2009

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
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My first friend to get married was 17, and no, she was not pregnant. I''ve seen many friends and coworkers get married between 19 and 21, and most of my relatives got married around that age. However, for the people who don''t marry young, the average is much closer to 30.

On the flip side, my boyfriend is from another part of the state, and where he comes from, it''s unheard of for anyone to get married before 27, and most people marry around 30.
 

ladypirate

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
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Date: 3/18/2009 10:01:45 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
octavia & fuzzers...I hear ya! I actually have a really good friend who married her highschool sweetheart and they are very happy 20 years later! So, yeah, if you meet the right person, why wait??

I definitely don''t agree with her stance on women having babies later in life...I mean, that is true, we definitely see it in the media, etc. BUT, nothing has changed with our biology that should give us a false sense of security in waiting. Also, I agree, I definitely think our bodies are more ''ready and able'' when we are younger. I can say in my experience I *felt* more biologically ready when I was younger.

But, I do agree that I know myself better now than when I was younger...does it help or not in ''finding someone''...I tend to think it does.

I think her book is a cute concept, but I don''t agree with everything...just thought it would be fun to add to this thread...since we''re all talkin'' about age and marriage.
1.gif
There is certainly nothing wrong with waiting until you''re 30 to get married, but the way her website was written made it sound like she was trying to justify the fact that she wasn''t married yet by saying that no one should be married until a certain age. Not sure that that''s the case, but I think marriage is definitely one of those cases where it varies by individual. My parents were together 14 years before they got married and were in their late 30s--it worked for them, but I certainly don''t want to wait that long!
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
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Date: 3/18/2009 6:47:33 PM
Author: laughwithme
I feel a bit like the black sheep...my close circle is very young and here is our ''story.''


I am 22. Two of my best friends were married last year, when they were 22. I will get married when I''m 23. Another best friend probably will be married at 24, though she has said over and over she wants to be married sooner. Most of the girls I work with that are around the age of 25 are all married.


One thing I''ve noticed is that when you want something, you see it everywhere, and in that case, I don''t know that I can offer a true opinion re. the number of girls I graduated with that are engaged - though it seems like a third of them are, I tend to focus on them and so in reality, maybe it''s like one-tenth are engaged.


I know that statistics say that the cultural trends are tending to lean towards marriage in the 30s, but I truly feel that when I look around, everyone I know is getting married young.


Anyone else feel this way?

I definitely don''t feel like everyone I know is getting married, but I know what you mean. A huge chunk of my friends are getting engaged senior year-ish and marrying the summer after they graduate or close. I definitely agree with you though, in the, "you see it when you want it" way... I also have a huge group of friends either not in a relationship or who have only been dating someone for a couple months, but I tend to "forget" about them in my "everyone''s going it, come on, let''s get engaged now" sorts of mindsets.

We''ll probably get engaged this year (turning 22 in june), but we''re waiting to get married until my SO finishes grad school, so that''ll be awhile. While I know of probably 7 or 8 girls that will be married basically by this summer, I also realistically know that I''ll probably still be married before the bulk of my best friends who aren''t even thinking about it yet.
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
3,881
I was thinking about this some more.

Of people I went to college with that graduated in my class, I can only think of 8 people that I know of that are married, and 2 married each other. One more is getting married next month.

One person is engaged.

A few people are in long term relationships (mine being one of the longest)

Most are not dating.

I would guess I know about 20 married couples in my general age cohort (25-30), total, which is not very many, all things considered.

So I would wager that most will marry closer to their 30''s.

Personally, I think that that is ideal, but you can''t control when you met that special someone. I''ve known SO since 2000!
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AdiS

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Messages
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Date: 3/19/2009 5:57:36 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 3/18/2009 10:01:45 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
octavia & fuzzers...I hear ya! I actually have a really good friend who married her highschool sweetheart and they are very happy 20 years later! So, yeah, if you meet the right person, why wait??

I definitely don''t agree with her stance on women having babies later in life...I mean, that is true, we definitely see it in the media, etc. BUT, nothing has changed with our biology that should give us a false sense of security in waiting. Also, I agree, I definitely think our bodies are more ''ready and able'' when we are younger. I can say in my experience I *felt* more biologically ready when I was younger.

But, I do agree that I know myself better now than when I was younger...does it help or not in ''finding someone''...I tend to think it does.

I think her book is a cute concept, but I don''t agree with everything...just thought it would be fun to add to this thread...since we''re all talkin'' about age and marriage.
1.gif
There is certainly nothing wrong with waiting until you''re 30 to get married, but the way her website was written made it sound like she was trying to justify the fact that she wasn''t married yet by saying that no one should be married until a certain age. Not sure that that''s the case, but I think marriage is definitely one of those cases where it varies by individual. My parents were together 14 years before they got married and were in their late 30s--it worked for them, but I certainly don''t want to wait that long!
That''s exactly what I was thinking!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
12,169
Only one couple in our group are married and D and I will be the second group. People over here date for years before getting married. Most of the couples in our group are together for about 6 years plus without any of them being engaged.
 
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