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ktkakes

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
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86
so this week has been quite interesting .. me and the bf are looking at a house. and he had said i might have to wait on a ring. i am not ready to put that aside. i am ready to be married first. Anyway my mom had a thought for me and that was for him to take my mom''s first e-ring from my dad( he upgraded her a couple of yrs ago) and taking the stone out and putting it in a new setting and maybe adding a couple of little stones for the side.

I loved the idea. its almost like my past and my future all rolled in to one. What do you all think about this idea?
 

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janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
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3,689
I''m under the impression that the stone is the most expensive part of the ring (mine was about 95% of the cost of the ring), so not sure how much $ he''d be saving, especially since you want to add to the setting. Doesn''t hurt to run it by him though..at the v. least he''d see how important the ring/engagement is to you. Your bf may also want this to be his choice without outside involvement, so that''s something else to consider.
 

AmberWaves

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
3,672
Ktkakes, you mean taking the stone out and using it right? I think it''s perfect. You get an heirloom diamond, the BF can pick out the setting (and save TONS of money) and it''ll still be "your" ring together with mom''s stone! Perfect!! If your parents have a good marriage, even better, it''s like passing on the good luck.
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Date: 12/18/2006 3:54:54 PM
Author: janinegirly
I'm under the impression that the stone is the most expensive part of the ring (mine was about 95% of the cost of the ring), so not sure how much $ he'd be saving, especially since you want to add to the setting.
He'd be saving money because the stone is the most expensive part of the ring.

That's a very kind offer from your parents. Using your mothers stone to make your new ring, you could get a very nice WG or YG setting made for under $1k easy!! I think it's a great idea, as long as your bf is okay with it then everyone's happy!
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
I think it''s a fabulous idea! Be on the lookout for settings.
 

janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
oh i see, so you''d use the stone and he''d just find a setting--my mistake (duh!). I think it sounds like a great idea, let us know what your bf thinks!
 

ktkakes

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
86
hey! thanks for all the imput. we discussed it a little while ago and he said as long as its what i want than he is ok with that.. i think it would hold so much sentimental value to me with him being able to make it look the way he wants....
Keep you posted on more info whenever i can
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
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7,074
That''s great! It''s definitely something I hope to do for a daughter.
 

stags14

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2006
Messages
49
Date: 12/18/2006 3:30:59 PM
Author:ktkakes
so this week has been quite interesting .. me and the bf are looking at a house. and he had said i might have to wait on a ring. i am not ready to put that aside. i am ready to be married first. Anyway my mom had a thought for me and that was for him to take my mom''s first e-ring from my dad( he upgraded her a couple of yrs ago) and taking the stone out and putting it in a new setting and maybe adding a couple of little stones for the side.

I loved the idea. its almost like my past and my future all rolled in to one. What do you all think about this idea?
If finances are tight, spend your money FIRST on a house. Spending lots of cash on a ring, rather than putting that money towards a house, is about as financially irresponsible as you can get.
 

ladykemma

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2006
Messages
2,194
i think you and your BF are very smart. ditto to stag14. cudos to the mom who donated the diamond.

even a plain solitaire setting with a matching band will run you about 500. make sure you get platinum prongs.

edited again: jared's has nice setting and won't hassle about setting someone else's diamond
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
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2,216
I don''t like the idea. I''d feel different if it was his mother''s diamond, but yours?? I''m sorry but if he really wants to marry you he should put your engagement and marriage before the house.
What I''m reading is this: He wants to buy a house, you want to be married first. So your mother is trying to fix it so you''re happy by giving you a diamond and says all he has to do is reset it.
I just don''t see it.

I''m all for the importance of a house but 2-3k is not going to make a huge difference! I''m sorry, it just won''t.
 

ladykemma

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2006
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2,194
Date: 12/19/2006 1:03:27 PM
Author: IndieJones
I don''t like the idea. I''d feel different if it was his mother''s diamond, but yours?? I''m sorry but if he really wants to marry you he should put your engagement and marriage before the house.
What I''m reading is this: He wants to buy a house, you want to be married first. So your mother is trying to fix it so you''re happy by giving you a diamond and says all he has to do is reset it.
I just don''t see it.

I''m all for the importance of a house but 2-3k is not going to make a huge difference! I''m sorry, it just won''t.
respectfully disagree. in houston texas you can get into a house for 5k. so 2-3k is a huge amount. especially if they are just starting out.

i would rather see her married and in a ring from walmart than spend that house money on a 2-3k engagement ring!
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
3,867
I think what I''m missing is the sentiment that he DOES want to marry you, just can''t afford the ring. Is that the case? If he''s stalling on the ring because he isn''t ready to propose yet, that''s different than stalling because he can''t afford it. If you couldn''t have ANY ring, would you both still be ready to get married? I''m just not clear that''s what you''re saying. I definitely wouldn''t proceed on the house with him until you''re sure of that answer.

That aside, I think it''s wonderful to take your mom''s diamond. My mom gave her diamonds to my brothers and it was great. I have friends that have their mom''s diamonds as well. While it''s nice to have the diamond ring, it isn''t what makes you engaged. Just be sure he knows that!
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,652
I thought the idea of an engagement ring was the man proposed and gave the ring to show his intentions. It''s a symbol of a life planned together. I love the fact that Storm''s Wifey2B loves her beautiful but modest hand-picked diamond as it represents her promise from Storm and their future together. It''s not huge but I am sure it was bought by Storm and was within his budget and Wifey2B wouldn''t have it any other way.

An heirloom stone (belonging to the bride''s family) is a beautiful idea (for another piece of jewlery) but seems to miss the point of an engagement ring. If a house is the priority maybe the engagement ring purchase should be postponed. But using the mother-in-laws stone???
 

littlelysser

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 8, 2005
Messages
1,862
I think it is a very good idea... But like the other's have said...does the BF want to get engaged too? That is key. And for what it is worth, my FI and I bought a house together two years before we got engaged. And I never pressured him to get engaged. We knew we were going to be together - and putting the money towards a down payment on a home was a VERY good idea. Don't regret it a bit.

And I am totally not getting how using a stone from ktkakes' mom's ring is any less special than a stone purchased at a jewelry store or on-line or whatever. Isn't the "point" of an engagement ring signaling that you are engaged? an heirloom does that just as well as a new piece.

I also disagree that $2-$3k doesn't make a big difference in buying a house. It totally does. Any amount you can put towards closing or as a down payment is money saved. It matters.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I think that its a great idea! I think getting a house is much more important than getting the ring. In years to come when you have your house paid for then he can treat you to a lovely new piece of jewellery too!!!
 

ktkakes

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
86
to elaborate a little more! me and my bf have been together 2 yrs and living together one. yes we do discuss marriage all the time and it is just a matter of finances that we have not got engaged. in no way am i pressuirng him. I am also interested in the house its not that i am not. i would like to be engaged as well. He has said that he would like to be engaged when we were looking at a house. However this house just happen to come up and be available so we dicided to look.

I wish houses around here were 5k that would be awesome. however they arent so finances are tight. I just thought it was special to have my mom''s stone incorporated in my e-ring. I mean my parents are my past, and he is my future i think starting this i can always hand it down to my daughter for her.

the ring isnt what is significant to me i can wait on a ring i just want to marry him! he knows that but he wants to give me a ring.. and he says if i want to put the stone in his ring he gives me then that is what he will do because its what i want!

He is an awesome caring man whom i couldnt imagine my life without!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Date: 12/19/2006 8:18:41 PM
Author: ktkakes
He is an awesome caring man whom i couldnt imagine my life without!
Awww!


It sounds like you two know what you want, and if he''s comfortable with the heirloom stone idea then that must be a huge finiacial relief!! Congratulations on your upcoming engagement, and make sure to check back in with pics of the ring!!!
 

tdiddy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
227
sounds like a win-win to me. if using the stone from your parents allows you to purchase a house together and get engaged at the same time without additional financial burden, it''s a no-brainer and a great example of compromise. plus it''s nice to have something sentimental tied into such an important moment in your life by incorporating the stone from your parents'' first ring. best of luck on finding a gorgeous setting to go with the stone!
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
ktcakes,

From reading your post, I didn't get the feeling (at all) that your boyfriend isn't ready to propose. The truth is, most guys just don't understand spending so much $$$ on a small, clear rock. His focus is on a house for the two of you, which is the smart thing to do.

I also don't think using your mom's diamond is any less special than using his mom's. In fact, I find it more special because it's closer to your heart.

Knox Jewelers has a 3-stone setting that you might like for $1300 in WG. In the display pictures, the ring has a .50ct center stone (and two .25ct side stones, which are included in the price) so you could get an idea of what a 3-stone with your heirloom would look like.

http://www.knoxjewelers.biz/index.htm?crn=202&rn=762&action=show_detail

Whatever you decide, we'll need pictures!
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
3,867
Ah, so it sounds like everything is on the right track! Go for it! I think it would be really special to wear your mom''s diamond in your new ring. Now, to find the setting!!! And the house! Awesome!

Oh, and I don''t think LK meant that houses cost $5k, just that it would go a long way toward the downpayment since houses in Houston are significantly less expensive than on the west coast or the northeast. We live in Maryland, and our downpayment was $10k with an additional $2k closing costs that we hadn''t really understood when we started shopping. We took the $2k out of savings and the $10k out of his 401(k) as a loan to himself, and got into the house we wanted, but it was definitely a lesson in personal finance. He certainly wouldn''t have been able to afford my diamond in the same month as the house!!!
 

Hopes

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2006
Messages
97
Date: 12/19/2006 8:18:41 PM
Author: ktkakes
to elaborate a little more! me and my bf have been together 2 yrs and living together one. yes we do discuss marriage all the time and it is just a matter of finances that we have not got engaged. in no way am i pressuirng him. I am also interested in the house its not that i am not. i would like to be engaged as well. He has said that he would like to be engaged when we were looking at a house. However this house just happen to come up and be available so we dicided to look.

I wish houses around here were 5k that would be awesome. however they arent so finances are tight. I just thought it was special to have my mom's stone incorporated in my e-ring. I mean my parents are my past, and he is my future i think starting this i can always hand it down to my daughter for her.

the ring isnt what is significant to me i can wait on a ring i just want to marry him! he knows that but he wants to give me a ring.. and he says if i want to put the stone in his ring he gives me then that is what he will do because its what i want!

He is an awesome caring man whom i couldnt imagine my life without!
Well you know that saying about a bride wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue to the wedding. It would be very special if your ring was your mom's (I admit I'm a little jealous you are so close to your mom!) and is that "something old."

Each item represents a good-luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy. "Something old" symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. "Something new" means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. "Something borrowed" is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family.

That the something old directly comes from your family is just all the more awesome, don't you think? ;-)

I also agree that a house is much more important at this point in time, particularly since the engagement ring is simply to announce a man's intention to marry you and to signify to others that you are engaged. I hope you all the best whatever you do, because it sounds like you love each other with or without the ring, with or without the official status, and that's way more important than anything else! :)
 

phoenixgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2003
Messages
3,369
Hi,

I did the same thing with a dinner ring of my grandmother''s . . . that''s where my e-ring diamond came from. We too were ready to get married, and I was ready to have a nice ring
, but DH really didn''t have any money. So it worked out perfectly. Plus my grandmother was my only relative who enjoyed jewelry and she died when I was 12, so it''s nice to have that connection.

Another plus is that I never feel guilty asking for earrings or a new band because we still haven''t spent as much as the average couple would buying the e-ring.
 

ktkakes

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
86
im not completely sure on what setting i''m interested in .. i am very simple i dont wear much jewelry. i cant wear it at work( im a massage therapist, tough to massage with rings on) so the more simple the better for me! i was looking at the three stones

Just a brief update... this am .. it was bout 6 am and half asleep he said to me i really want you to marry me! it was so sweet...i cant wait for the big day! hehehe
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Date: 12/21/2006 7:56:51 PM
Author: ktkakes
.. it was bout 6 am and half asleep he said to me i really want you to marry me! it was so sweet...i cant wait for the big day! hehehe
AWWW! What a great moment. It sounds like you two are very happy
 
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